UNTAMED

Epilogue

The pregnancy test stares back at me with two pink lines.

Two lines. There are two lines.

I never thought I’d be the girl who got married with a baby in her belly, but considering my wedding isn’t for another two months, I guess that’s the hand I’ve been dealt.

A slow, trembling exhale escapes my lips as someone knocks on the bathroom door.

“Rosie? Some cattle escaped from the field in the northwest corner. I’m going to see where they got out.” Holden’s voice comes through the door.

I quickly stash the pregnancy test box under some toilet paper in the trash can, hiding the positive one at the back of the towel cabinet.

“Okay, baby,” I call back, staring at myself in the mirror as I wash my hands.

“Do you wanna ride with me?” he asks.

He’ll see it on my face.

“Um, not right now, I guess. I need to start on dinner.”

“Okay, babe.”

His heavy footsteps retreat from the door. I grab my phone, pulling up the photo of my wedding dress. The fitting was last week, and the alterations have already begun.

Shit, I hope it fits.

The dress has a lace sweetheart neckline, with long, off-the-shoulder sleeves. The skirt spills down into an A-line shape with a short train. Our Western-themed ranch wedding has been planned out to perfection over the last six months.

“I’m going to be a mom,” I whisper to myself.

My eyes water as the words wash over me. I didn’t even realize my period was late until it had been two weeks. My breasts are already swollen and tender.

“There should be an online forum where we can review birth control pills. Zero out of ten stars.” I fling the pack into the trash.

I walk out of the bathroom and go downstairs to start making the chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes I had planned for dinner. Holden insists on continuing to pay me to work on the ranch, even after we get married. He proposed only ten months after we started dating, and I wanted a spring wedding. Everything has been perfect—almost too perfect.

I wanted us to experience marriage for a while before adding a baby to the mix. I know Holden will be an amazing dad. We want to be parents, but everything that happened with my father has given me a lot of anxiety about the prospect of starting a family.

“Hey, lovely.” Dolly walks into the kitchen with a cheerful smile, holding a bouquet of wildflowers.

She pulls out a vase from the cabinet and fills it with water.

“Hi,” I say with a weak smile.

“What’s wrong?” she asks with a frown.

I shrug. “I’m not feeling so good today.”

My stomach is queasy. When I pull the steak from the fridge to tenderize it, the smell of the raw meat causes bile to rise inside of me. I barely make it to the trash can before throwing up my lunch.

“Rosie, holy shit. Go lie down! I’ll take care of this.” Dolly ushers me out of the kitchen.

I heed her advice, collapsing onto my and Holden’s bed. I tap on my phone screen for the office number to my doctor. After making the appointment, I close my eyes and let the tears fall.

After my mother’stime in rehab, my father’s arrest, and their finalization of the divorce, she’s been a different person. She sold their old house and bought something smaller outside of town on some acreage. She travels a lot, but we never go longer than a few days without talking.

She squeezes my hand while we wait for the doctor. “Do you need some water, honey?”

I shake my head, feeling like I might throw up again. This morning sickness has been hell for the past two weeks. After the second day, Dolly caught on to what was going on. I begged her not to tell Holden, not until I could see the doctor and confirm the pregnancy. My sickness has mostly been confined to times when he’s out working the ranch, which has kept him busy every morning when I’m throwing up.

Dolly grins at me, eyeing my stomach. She can’t even hide her excitement despite my physical misery. I’m warming up to the idea of motherhood, but my emotions are a complete roller coaster. I feel guilty for hiding it from Holden, but he’s in such a happy love bubble that I just can’t bring myself to burst it. We both agreed to wait a while for kids.

A knock sounds at the door, and a nurse walks in. “Hello, I’m the sonographer. I’m just going to get you set up and do a quick scan, and then your doctor will be in.”

I nod. She squeezes cold jelly onto my lower stomach before pressing the sonogram tool up to my skin.

“If you’re only about seven or eight weeks, we might not be able to see much. We’ll still listen for the heartbeat,” she says.

After she squishes the tool around for a few seconds, I start to get anxious. It just looks like black and gray static inside a big circle. I glance up at my mother’s face as she studies the screen.

“Is that …” she asks.

The nurse smiles. “Yes, that’s the baby.”

Immediately, a heartbeat sound fills the room. Dizziness overwhelms me.

That’s my baby.

A sweeping sense of excitement and awe fills my chest. The invisible but palpable connection makes me catch my breath.

“That’s my baby …” I whisper.

Dolly claps excitedly, tears streaming down her face. “I’m an auntie!”

I laugh at her, wiping the moisture from my face. “Shit, I’m so ready to tell Holden now.”

My mom pats my leg, handing me a tissue. Her eyes are red-rimmed too. “He’s going to be thrilled, sweetheart.”

Suddenly, the nurse’s smile drops, right along with my heart. She stares at the monitor, squishing the tool around more.

“What is it?” I’m barely breathing.

She smiles, sending relief through me. “Um, well, I hope you’re ready to hear this. You see that?” She points to the screen, where the first little circle now has two. “That’s another baby. You’re having twins!”

I gasp, my hand clapping over my mouth. “Shut up. You’re lying.”

Dolly starts jumping up and down, laughing hysterically. “Holy shit! HOLY SHIT!”

I look over at my mom’s face, which is just as stunned as mine.

“Well, I guess there’s just more to love.”

I walk out of the office on shaky legs. The babies are both healthy, and I’m exactly eight weeks along. Dolly and I rode together, so after telling my mom goodbye, we head home.

When we walk through the front door, we can hear the guys upstairs, playing pool. Holden comes down the stairs when he hears the front door. He smiles at me, pulling me in close for a hug.

“Hey, gorgeous. Where’d you two run off to?”

Dolly pivots away from us, speed-walking down the hallway. Holden frowns, lifting my hand up to his lips to kiss the top of my knuckles.

“Is everything okay?” he asks.

The sonogram picture of the babies is in the back pocket of my jeans. My hands shake when I pull back from him and nod toward the front door.

“Can we take a walk?”

He stares me down with dark eyes, looking right into my soul. He’s grown out a closely shaved beard on his face. He’s wearing a straw Stetson, and the soft blue T-shirt he put on this morning with Wranglers and boots. It stretches over his broad shoulders deliciously.

“Okay,” he says, walking after me.

He loops his finger through the belt loop on the back of my jeans. I lead him outside toward the patch of oak trees by the fence line. It’s one of my favorite places for us to sit and talk while watching the sunset. It rained this morning, and the fields are all starting to turn bright green. The horses are grazing in the pasture beside us. The two new foals are following their mamas around as the sun starts to dip down over the horizon.

Holden leans up against the fence, resting his boot on the bottom slat. “What’s wrong, Rosie Lou?”

He has every right to be shocked and to react with fear, anxiety, all the things. It took me two weeks to warm up to the idea of becoming a parent unexpectedly.

I reach into my back pocket, pulling out the sonogram pictures. He stares at my outstretched hand, blinking slowly.

“What is it?” he chokes out. “Just tell me.”

I exhale, unfolding the pictures. “It’s twins … we’re having twins.”

His body freezes. He doesn’t move for five whole seconds as anxiety crawls up my spine. I start yammering to fill the silence.

“I know we wanted to wait to start having a family. I guess my birth control just failed. I didn’t miss any pills. I still think the dress will fit, so as long as I don’t throw up on the way down the aisle, people won’t even know I’m pregnant, not that it’s any of their business anyway?—”

He laughs, reaching out for my waist and lifting me up into the air. “Baby … baby, slow down. You’re telling me that you’re pregnant? With twins? And everything is okay, healthy?”

He sets me up on the top slat of the fence, holding me in place. I slowly nod, studying his face as his features morph into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.

“I thought you were dying from cancer. You’ve been acting so strange and out of it lately; I’ve been living in fear that you were about to tell me you had six months to live.” He chokes out the last words, emotion overwhelming him. His eyes are wet and red-rimmed.

He pulls me down off the fence, crushing me into a hug. “Having a baby, two babies, ten babies with you will make me so fucking unbelievably happy.”

The floodgates of emotion trapped inside me break open. Sobs begin to rack my body as I cry into his chest. He holds me close, brushing his hand over my back in soothing motions until I pull back and look up at him.

“What’s wrong, angel? Talk to me.” His eyes are squinted with concern, still red and searching my face.

I hiccup, trying to calm down. “I’m just so relieved, so scared, overwhelmed with this happening and the wedding coming up, unprepared, excited. I have so many thoughts and emotions. I’ve been terrified to tell you, but also feeling so guilty for not telling you sooner.”

He nods, wiping a tear from my cheek before tucking my hair behind my ear.

“And I’m just not sure how I feel about becoming a parent after everything that has happened with my family,” I whisper.

He spins me around, tugging my back to his chest and wrapping his arms around my front, placing his hands on my stomach. We’re facing the sunset as the sky stretches out with pink and purple clouds. The two spring foals are running around, playing with each other.

“You know, the strange thing about this whole thing is that I had a dream two nights ago that we had two kids, and they were identical twin baby girls with red hair just like yours.”

I gasp, gripping the top of his hand. “You knew?”

He chuckles into my ear. “No, I didn’t. I really thought you were going to tell me you were terminally ill. I’ve barely been able to sleep, just waiting for you to be ready to tell me. I thought the twin dream was just a cruel fantasy my subconscious created to cope.”

I sag against him in relief, feeling better already that he’s happy about the news. “I wasn’t sure how I felt. I wanted to see the doctor before I told you. Dolly guessed. I’ve been throwing up every morning.”

He spins me again, concern etched between his eyes now. “You should’ve told me. I would have stayed closer to the house, made you soup, and taken care of you.”

I smile up at him, sniffling. “I’ll hold you to that. I just needed time, time to accept it. I’m happy now, especially if you think we can handle it.”

“Oh, baby, we can handle anything. Your past is not our future. I’m not your father. You and these babies, boys or girls, are already so loved and wanted. You’re going to be an exceptional mother.”

I bite my lip, pushing up onto my tiptoes to kiss the scar on his jawline. “You’re gonna be a DILF.”

He chuckles, reaching down to kiss the corner of my mouth. “You’re already a MILF. I need to get you a bigger ring so no one misses it.”

“If it’s any bigger, I’ll fall over. They’ll see it in space.”

“Fuck, I’m so in love with you,” he groans, pressing his hips into me.

I turn back around to watch the last glowing light of the sunset.

“I love you more,” I whisper, finally feeling an overwhelming sense of peace about the future settling over me.

He wraps his arms tighter around me before whispering in my ear, “Rosie Lou Redford, there’s no one on this planet I’d rather raise a family with.”