11. Izzy
11
IZZY
The boat rocks from side to side lazily, the rhythm soothing in a way I’ve never experienced before. I didn’t quite believe Derrick when he said he’d bring me out on the boat, knowing how infrequently he uses it, so it was a pleasant surprise when he suggested we spend the day on the water again.
I rest my knees on the cushioned seat, arms crossed on the fiberglass edge of the boat, and scan the waters for any sign of whales. How disappointing it must be for people who pay for whale-watching trips while on vacation, only to come across none.
Derrick shuffles items around in the cooler he dragged along. “Water?”
I shift to face him. “Sure.”
He tosses an ice-cold bottle to me, and I nearly drop it.
“You put sunscreen on, right?” I joke as I shake the bottle to remove the excess water on the outside of it.
With a muttered curse, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yes, Izzy. I don’t need your… assistance in that department this time.”
Giggling, I twist the cap off my water and peer at him over my shoulder. Perhaps it’s wrong to be this attracted to a man almost twice my age—my assistant’s dad, at that—but I can’t help it. His energy draws me in. He’s magnetic in an accidental way.
He slides his sunglasses on and looks out at the water.
“Think we’ll see any today?” I ask him.
With a shrug, he tugs his shirt away from his skin. “You never know.”
I watch for another few minutes, then decide I’ll settle down with my book.
“I didn’t expect you to be such a reader.”
Slipping my bookmark out, I peek at Derrick over the top of the page. “I feel like I should be insulted.”
He grimaces. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I just figured you were too busy for that.” He wiggles the fingers of his right hand at my book when he says that .
I can’t help but shoot him a smirk. “I’m full of surprises.”
The breath that gusts out of him is half exhausted, half amused. “That you are.”
“We better head in,” he says about two hours later.
I set my book down and stifle a yawn. “I didn’t realize it was getting so late. ”
He lifts his hat off his head and uses an arm to swipe at his forehead. “I’m sorry you didn’t see any whales today.”
Straightening, I tuck my book back into my bag. “It’ll happen.” I feel certain of it. “Good things come to those who wait, right?”
“I don’t know about that.” His shoulders droop a little, and his smile is self-deprecating in a way that makes me want to backtrack. “If that were true… well, suffice it to say I’ve been waiting a long time.”
“What is it you’re waiting for?” I dare to ask, angling forward to study him.
He drops his head, his forearms resting on his knees. “It’s selfish.”
With a quiet snort, I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “I doubt that.”
Derrick might be the least selfish person I know.
His cheeks hollow, and for a minute he’s quiet. Eventually, he blows out a long breath and focuses on me. “I loved my wife very much, and moving on hasn’t been easy, but I still… want that. A partner, a lover, a best friend.”
My heart clenches at the longing in his tone and the sadness etched in the lines on his face. “You can have that.”
He surveys the ocean, squinting against the light despite his sunglasses. “I’m not so sure.”
“Why is that?” I press, even though I probably shouldn’t.
“I haven’t dated much, but in my limited experience, I haven’t found anything even close to a meaningful connection. I’m not sure there’s another right person out there for me. Maybe I need to find a way to be okay with that. Maybe it’s better if I’m alone. I wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt again. For a long time…” He swallows audibly, clears his throat. “I thought I’d never feel normal again. Honestly, if I ha dn’t had to go on for my kids, I’m not sure I would’ve survived it.”
It’s a stab in the gut, knowing he feels as though he can’t have love again. If there’s anyone in this world who deserves to find it, it’s Derrick.
For an instant, I lose my mind and am tempted to tell him that I’m standing right here. But I bite my tongue. I can’t stand the thought of his rejection.
Instead, I plaster on a smile. “Let me make a dating profile for you.”
He blinks at me, confused. “A dating profile?”
My chest tightens, but I push the sensation away. This will be good for him. “Yeah, you know, on an app.”
“Fuck no,” he sputters. “No thanks.” He swishes his arms through the air in an X motion like he can banish the thought from existence.
“Come on.” I elbow his side in a playful attempt to deflect from how this topic has me wanting to hurl over the side of the boat. “They’re not so terrible.”
I’m such a liar. Dating apps are the literal worst.
He harrumphs . “I’m too old for that shit.”
“I’ll take the photos for you.”
Shit. Why am I so determined to get him to agree? It doesn’t bode well for me and my stupid crush if he gives in.
He gives me a thorough once-over, lips pursed. “No.”
Relief washes over me. I clench my jaw tight and sit on my hands in an effort to keep myself from saying or doing something I shouldn’t, and he doesn’t broach the subject again.
A short time later, we dock, finding Brooks and his family grilling hotdogs and burgers in the backyard.
“You two hungry?” Brooks asks, waving us over. “We have plenty of food. ”
Derrick looks to me, gauging my interest, so I give him a shrug. I’m fine with sticking around for a bit.
When we reach the group, Brooks shakes my hand. “It’s good to see you again, Izzy. This is my wife, Maura.” He points to a middle-aged woman sitting at the picnic table with a glass of wine. “My daughter Amanda and her girlfriend Felicity.” A nod toward the couple cozied up on an outdoor love seat.
They can’t be older than sixteen, and it’s obvious they’re in that sickeningly sweet state of puppy love that makes me smile.
“And last but certainly not least, is Jackson. Our wild child.” He points to a little boy running in circles with a golden retriever. “Take a seat and help yourself to snacks.”
With a grateful nod, I leave Derrick with Brooks and join Maura at the picnic table. Once I’m settled, I put a handful of chips on a plate, then add a dollop of dip.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I say to Maura.
She sets her phone aside. “Nice to meet you, too. It’s good to see Derrick actually using the boat and doing something other than work.”
I look over my shoulder at him. He and Brooks are chatting, having migrated to the dock, both with beers in hand. As I’m watching, Jackson barrels into him, looping his arms around Derrick’s legs.
“How old is Jackson?” I ask, turning my attention back to Maura.
“Six,” she answers with a wistful smile. “Total surprise. A wanted one, but a surprise, nonetheless. We struggled with infertility after we had Amanda and had given up on more children. Then Jackson happened.” She wraps her fingers around the wine bottle and gives it a wiggle. “Want any? ”
“I’ll never say no to wine.”
She grabs a red plastic cup from a small stack at the end of the table and fills it with a serving.
I thank her and take a sip, appreciating the crisp flavor, even if drinking wine out of a plastic cup is far less appealing than from a wineglass.
“Brooks said you’re staying with Derrick for the summer?”
I turn my attention from the cup to Maura. Her dark curls are cut to her chin, the style so gorgeous it has me pulling at the ends of my hair, wondering if I should do a chop.
“Yeah, my sister is Via. She’s dating?—”
“Reid,” she finishes for me with a nod. “He’s a good guy.”
“He is.” I take a sip of wine and leave it at that, because I don’t have the first clue where she’s going with that comment.
“So is Derrick.”
Stomach dipping, I meet her eye, unable to ignore the tiny smile fluttering at the edge of her lips like it’s desperate to break free.
I don’t know what has the words flying out of my mouth, but I ask, “Are you suggesting I date him?”
She shrugs, and the smile breaks free. “You’re quite a bit younger than he is, but I wouldn’t judge. He deserves to find someone who cares about him. Age shouldn’t stop that.” She wrinkles her nose. “Unless it’s illegal, but you don’t look that young.”
A bark of a laugh escapes me. “I don’t know whether to say thank you or be offended.”
With a laugh, she shakes her head in a way that makes her curls bounce. “Sorry. I may have already had a bit too much to drink. I don’t drink much, so I’m a lightweight.”
“It’s okay.” I’m not offended in the least. It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers. Like an entire army of Luxonators coming after me.
“I want him to be happy,” she goes on, undeterred. “He’s made comments about dating here and there over the years, but then…” She swirls the wine in her glass. “Nothing comes of it.”
Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “I offered to set up a profile for him on a dating app.”
Maura’s eyes light up, and she straightens. “Now, that is a great idea.”
“Izzy, you want a hot dog or a burger?” Derrick asks, suddenly much closer than I realized.
Cheeks heating—because, shit, I hope he didn’t hear us talking about him—I say, “Always a burger.”
With a nod, he saunters back to the grill, where Brooks is removing the hot dogs.
Maura snaps her fingers, the action bringing my attention back to her. “Wait, are you the woman Layla works for?”
I lift my cup in the air and give her a wry smile. “That’d be me.”
“Amanda looked you up. Said you’re pretty famous.”
My heart lurches a little, and I swallow back my nerves. “I don’t know about that . I’m not a celebrity. I just post videos.” I stare down at my cup. In LA, it’s easier to feel confident about what I do and the following I’ve built. Here, though, where life feels so normal , I feel uncomfortable talking about that part of my life.
“Regardless of how you want to frame it, it sounds like you’re very successful.”
Lips pressed together, I dip my chin in acceptance, grateful for her perspective and kindness. When I look up again, Derrick is waving me over to the grill. So I give Maura a small smile, then I stand and head over to his side.
“What’s up?”
He holds up a plate. “What do you want on your burger?”
“Oh.” I contemplate the spread of condiments set up on the foldable table beside the grill. “I can do that.” Stepping closer, I reach for the plate, but he holds it out of my reach.
“I got it.”
“Um, all right.” I bite my lip. “Cheddar cheese.” I point and he adds it to my bun. “Onion, pickles, mayo, and mustard.”
He adds the toppings and assembles my burger. “Here you go.”
“Thanks,” I say, taking the plate.
Our fingers brush as he releases it, causing a shiver to skate up my spine.
He frowns in confusion, his head tilted. “Are you cold?”
“No.” With that, I scurry away, head lowered.
Twenty-seven. You are twenty-seven years old. You’re on the cusp of thirty. Why are you acting like a nervous, flighty teenager?
I want to crawl into a hole and hide away.
Instead, I force myself to return to my seat. Maura raises a brow at my plate as I get settled, then looks at Derrick, shaking her head in amusement. “He might not realize it yet, but he’s into you.”
I take a bite so large there’s no chance that I can respond. I stick with a shake of my head instead.
Maura gives me a knowing look. “We’ll see.”