Until You Break (The Devout and the Damned #1)

28. His Sinner

Chapter twenty-eight

His Sinner

I sit on the edge of my bed, barely able to breathe and replaying everything that had just happened. My body still feels like it’s burning, every nerve on fire, every inch of me marked by his touch. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to chase away the shame creeping up my spine, but it’s not shame for what I let Dominic do to me.

It’s shame because I wanted it. Because every second of it felt right.

I told him to leave, forced the words out even as every part of me screamed for him to stay. And now I’m left here alone, drowning in the mess I’ve made because I know the truth.

I cheated on Mason. I chose Dominic fully in that moment. I knew what I was doing, and I knew it wasn’t fair or right. But nothing with Dominic has ever been fair or right. And that’s exactly why I let myself fall into him again, why I don’t fight back.

I glance at my phone on the nightstand. I should call Mason, make up some excuse about why I didn’t answer his last message, maybe even pretend nothing happened. But my stomach turns at the thought. I can’t lie to him. I might be able to tell myself that what Dominic just did to me was a one time thing, but the truth is staring me down.

I didn’t just cheat on Mason. I gave in. And I’d do it again if Dominic walked through that door right now.

I bury my face in my hands, fighting back the tears threatening to spill. How did it come to this? How did I end up here, wanting the very thing I should be running from?

The memory of Dominic’s touch, his lips, the taste of him—all of it floods back, crashing over me like a wave. He knows me better than anyone else ever has. He sees right through me; through the “safe” Aria who wants a quiet, uncomplicated life with Mason.

Dominic sees the girl I tried to leave behind, the one who let herself come alive in that cell, the one who surrendered to him back then and can’t seem to stop now. He sees the girl who loves the pain and degradation. He sees the girl who loves gagging on his cock and begging him to go harder.

He sees his Little Sinner; the one who becomes a whore only for him.

I lay down, curling up, the sheets cold and empty around me. Every part of me aches for him, for the fire, the thrill, the darkness that only he brings. It’s like he’s carved himself into my skin, and no matter how much I try to scrape it away, it’s still there, branded and permanent.

I’m barely holding it together when I hear a knock at the door. It’s soft, gentle, nothing like the way Dominic would just barge in, take over the whole damn room with his presence.

I shake off the thought, taking a breath before opening the door to find Mason standing there with a warm smile and a takeout bag in hand.

“Hey, surprise,” he says, stepping in and pressing a quick kiss to my cheek. “I figured I’d bring dinner over. Thought you might be hungry after a long day.”

I force a smile, my mind racing to catch up, to feel something close to normal. “Hey, yeah, uh… thanks. This is… sweet.”

He doesn’t seem to notice the hesitation, just moves past me, setting the food on the kitchen counter and pulling out containers of pasta, garlic bread, and a couple of those little salads that we both end up picking at but never finishing.

“Thought we could use an Italian night,” he says, smiling at me as he arranges everything on the counter. “So, my mom’s excited to meet your mom next week. She’s already planning all these little welcome gifts and talking about the ‘family blending’ brunch she wants to throw. Guess I’ll just let her go crazy with it.”

He’s talking, voice soft and casual, exactly the kind of comforting presence he’s always been. But I’m not present. My mind keeps slipping, catching on Dominic’s taunt from earlier. His voice echoes through my head, even as Mason hands me a plate of pasta.

I shake myself, taking a deep breath and focusing on Mason’s face, his easy smile, the way he looks at me like I’m his whole world. I should be grateful. I should be falling into this life, embracing the safety, the calm, the love he offers.

But all I feel is guilt and the lingering shadow of Dominic’s words. Mason deserves better than this fucked up person I am.

“Are you alright?” he asks, his brow furrowing as he sets his fork down, watching me with that careful, concerned expression.

“Yeah,” I say quickly, forcing another smile, shoving down everything that’s screaming in the back of my mind. “I’m just… tired, I guess. Long day.”

He nods, and we fall into a quiet rhythm, eating side by side, his chatter about the wedding plans fading into the background as I drift in and out, barely registering the details.

My mind feels split in two, one part here with him, trying to hold onto the life I’ve built, and the other sinking into memories.

“So,” Mason says, his eyes bright, “I was thinking we could finally tell her about our wedding plans. Get her take on things.”

He’s smiling, going on about venues and dates, the excitement in his voice so sincere that it cuts through me, each word twisting the guilt tighter.

“Do you think we should stick with lilies for the wedding flowers?” Mason asks, his voice pulling me back to the present.

“Hmm?” I blink, looking at him, realizing I’ve barely been listening. “Lilies, yeah… sounds good.”

He gives me a small, almost hesitant smile, and I can see the worry there, the way he’s trying to piece together what’s wrong without pushing.

“It’s okay if you’re not feeling up to this, Aria. We can talk about it later if you’re tired.”

I shake my head, swallowing hard and forcing the words out. “No, it’s fine. I’m… I’m glad we’re talking about it.”

He nods, and when we finish, Mason helps me gather up the plates, his hand brushing mine as he stacks everything, washing the dishes while I dry, moving around the kitchen like it’s second nature.

And then he reaches for me, leaning in to kiss me goodbye, and everything freezes. Dominic’s taunt slams into me, his words filling my mind.

“Go kiss Mason with that mouth and let him taste your sin.”

The words feel like poison, twisting inside me, reminding me of what I’ve done. My heart hammers, and before I can think, I jerk back. Mason’s face falls, the surprise and hurt flickering in his eyes for a split second before he masks it, forcing a small smile.

“Sorry,” he says quietly. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, it’s… it’s fine,” I say quickly, my stomach twisting with guilt, with shame that feels like it’s eating me alive. “I just… I’m sorry. I’m not myself tonight.”

He watches me, his eyes searching, that quiet, patient expression that makes me want to cry. “It’s okay, Aria. I know you’ve been stressed lately. I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

I swallow, the words sticking in my throat. The urge to tell him everything, to let it all out, warring with the knowledge that I can’t, because I’m a fucking coward.

“Actually… I was wondering… could I stay at your place for a bit? Just for a few nights. I’ve got some late nights with work coming up, and I don’t want to be riding back to the cabin in the dark.”

He blinks, surprise flickering in his expression, but he nods immediately, his face lighting up. “Of course. You can stay as long as you want. I’d love that.”

I force a smile, relief mixing with guilt, the twisted irony of it settling in. I’m asking for safety, for distance from the pull that Dominic has on me, but I know it’s a lie. No matter where I go, no matter how far I run, he’s still going to be there haunting every quiet moment.

“Thank you,” I say softly, reaching out to touch his arm, feeling the warmth, the comfort he always offers. “I just… I think I need a change of pace.”

Mason gives me a reassuring smile, his hand covering mine, and I see the relief in his eyes; the quiet, hopeful look that makes my chest ache. “You don’t have to explain, babe. You know you’re always welcome.”

I nod, feeling the weight of his kindness, his patience, pressing down on me, making it harder to breathe. “I’ll pack a few things and come over tomorrow, then. Just for a few nights.”

“Perfect,” he says and he pulls me into a hug, his arms warm around me.

He embodies the kind of comfort I should want, the kind of comfort that should make me feel safe. But all I feel is the echo of the ache that Dominic’s absence has left behind.

And as Mason holds me, as he murmurs about how happy he is that we’ll get to spend more time together, I close my eyes, knowing that I’m only prolonging the inevitable.

But I’m too much of a coward to let him go.