30. His Sinner
Chapter thirty
His Sinner
I’m lying beside Mason, trying to convince myself that I’m fine. That I’ve left Dominic and everything he stirs up in me somewhere far away, buried under the life I’m determined to build with Mason.
It’s been days, and Dominic’s kept his word—he hasn’t come back. No late-night visits, no taunts slipping into my mind in the dark. Nothing. It’s exactly what I wanted, right? Proof that I don’t need him, that I can live this life without him.
But even as I think it, there’s a hollow ache in my chest, something restless and unsatisfied, and I hate it. I turn my back to Mason, watching the faint glow of my phone screen.
An ad pops up, one of those random things I didn’t ask for but somehow found its way to me—an ad for some BDSM club in the city, complete with provocative images of women kneeling, eyes full of submission.
A part of me stills, drawn to it in a way I don’t want to admit. My thumb hesitates over the screen, caught on one of the images. My mind flashes to Dominic. The way he makes me feel so alive, so raw, so utterly vulnerable—but stronger at the same time, like I’m breaking and being rebuilt.
Mason stirs beside me. “What’s that?” He leans in, squinting at the screen, and before I can think to hide it, he’s already seen the ad. He lets out a chuckle, shaking his head. “God, that stuff is so messed up.”
I quickly lock my phone, but it’s too late. He’s already in his head about it, talking on, oblivious to the way I’ve gone quiet.
“I’ll never get how women actually like that kind of thing. Like being tied up or told what to do… it’s just degrading. They’re unwell if they think that’s love. They probably need therapy more than anything.”
I freeze, feeling my stomach tighten, the words hitting harder than he could ever know. I laugh it off, but the feeling lingers, because that’s exactly who I am when I’m with Dominic.
The person I’ve tried to pretend doesn’t exist, the person who gives up all control, who wants nothing more than to be taken, to let him unravel me until there’s nothing left but need and desire. And the worst part? He makes me come alive in a way Mason never could.
“Oh, it’s… it’s just some weird ad,” I mutter, forcing a casual shrug as I look at him over my shoulder. “Guess the algorithm’s got it wrong.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Good, because you’re way too strong for that kind of crap. I don’t get how anyone could find being degraded like that remotely enjoyable,” he goes on, shaking his head. “Like, what kind of person wants to be treated like that, to actually enjoy feeling… less?”
Truth is, I do want it. I want that submission, that feeling of surrender, of giving up control to someone who can hold it, who knows exactly what to do with it.
Dominic.
My body aches with the memory, a part of me craving the raw intensity he pulls out of me, the way he doesn’t just see me—he consumes me, every dark, hidden piece, and makes me feel whole in a way I can’t explain.
I swallow, the words thick in my throat, my fingers tightening around my phone. “Yeah… I mean, I guess everyone has their thing, right?”
Mason scoffs, his expression twisting with something between pity and disgust. “Yeah, well, it’s messed up if you ask me. Any woman who actually enjoys being… subservient, like that? She probably needs a serious reality check.”
His words hang in the air, and I feel a pang of shame curl in my stomach, twisting and cold. Because deep down, I know he’s talking about me, even if he doesn’t realize it. And with Dominic, it’s not just about submission; it’s about feeling seen, feeling alive in a way that scares me as much as it thrills me.
But here I am, lying beside Mason, trying to act like I’m fine, like I can be this version of myself that he wants. The strong, steady Aria who doesn’t need the kind of darkness Dominic pulls out of me.
The vanilla girl who likes missionary and the occasional doggystyle.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I say, forcing a laugh, though it sounds hollow even to my own ears. “It’s not exactly a healthy way to live.”
Mason smiles, oblivious, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close. “Exactly. We’ve got a good thing here. No need for all that… nonsense. You and me? We’re solid.”
He kisses the side of my head, and I feel a flash of guilt, like I’m betraying Dominic just by being here pretending to be something I’m not. But I stay silent, letting him hold me, trying to convince myself that this is enough, that I can make this work, even as Dominic’s absence burns in the back of my mind, reminding me of everything I’m running from.
“Aria?” Mason’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and I realize I’ve been silent for too long, my back still turned to him and my fists clenched in the sheets. “You okay?”
I nod, not trusting myself to say anything. “Yeah, just tired,” I murmur, forcing a smile as I turn to face him. “It’s been a long week.”
He reaches out, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, his expression soft, reassuring. “I know. But, hey, that’s what I’m here for. To keep you grounded, right?”
I nod again, feeling the words settle heavy on my heart. Grounded. Safe. Secure. It’s everything Mason offers me, everything I thought I wanted, everything I should want.
But lying here, with his hand resting gently on my cheek, I feel a sharp ache, a longing for something dangerous that I won’t ever find with him.