Valentine’s Billionaire Auction

Chapter 41

41

KAIRA

I fled to my room, tears blinding my vision as I slammed the door behind me. My chest heaved with sobs. I pressed my hands to my face, trying to smother the sound. Roman’s words replayed in my mind, cutting deeper each time. I felt like I had destroyed everything. I felt like I’d destroyed us.

Things were just starting to get really good between us. I looked down at the dress and felt ridiculous. This night was supposed to be all about us. I planned to seduce him and rock his world. That had certainly blown up in my face.

I collapsed onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow. The sobs wracked my body. His anger had been visceral, his words so nasty. I had never seen Roman so furious, so utterly devastated. And I was the cause of it.

Guilt and regret swirled through me like a storm. How could I have been so careless, so reckless? I knew that room was off-limits, yet I had barged in without a second thought, driven solely by curiosity. In doing so, I had violated Roman’s trust in the worst way possible. I knew how guarded he was.

Just that very day, Marilyn had been telling me how much better Roman was. She was so happy to see Roman coming out of the prison he put himself in.

And I sent him right back there.

I knew I had blown it. Roman was not the kind of man to forgive and forget. He wasn’t just going to move on from this. I could feel that in my very soul.

I grabbed my phone and called Carla. She didn’t answer. I tried again, my fingers shaking as I hit redial. This time, after several rings, she picked up. “Hey, Kaira, what’s up?”

“Are you at work?” I asked, choking out a sob.

“Uh, no, but?—”

I broke down completely, my words tumbling out in a mix of sobs and sentences. “Carla, I screwed everything up. Roman’s furious, and I… I don’t know what to do. I just need you. Are you at home?”

There was a pause, then Carla sighed. “I’m sorry, Kaira. I really am. But I’m not at home.”

There was something in her tone that felt off. Oddly enough, she sounded a lot like Roman. She was guarded. Distant. I wiped my face with the back of my hand. “What’s wrong?” I sniffled as I sat up.

“It’s nothing,” she said quickly. Too quickly. “Let’s just focus on you right now.”

“No,” I said, sitting up straighter. I knew my friend well enough to know when something was wrong. She was definitely off. “What is it? Please, Carla, tell me.”

Another pause. “I didn’t want to do this over the phone, but… I feel like you’ve abandoned me, Kaira.”

Her words hit me like a slap. “What?”

“Just forget it. What’s up?”

“Carla, wait. What is going on? I called you…”

I realized before today, it had been a few days. I hadn’t texted like normal. The last week I had been caught up with my book and Roman.

“Whatever, Kaira. It’s fine. I know you’ve got shit to do. What’s wrong? What did Roman do now?”

She wasn’t asking because she cared. More like she was obligated to do so.

“Carla, please,” I said. “I’m sorry. I thought we worked through this already. With you working and me here, it’s hard to connect.”

“You never call me anymore,” she said, her voice trembling with restrained emotion. “You didn’t even invite me to Roman’s birthday party.”

I cringed. “I didn’t think you would be comfortable. It was all his friends.”

“I’m your friend,” she said. “I didn’t think I had to remind you of that.”

“Carla, no! I love you. You are my friend.”

“I have to reach out to you just to get a response, and even then, it takes forever for you to reply. And when you do call, it’s always about your problems or your life. It’s like I’m just here when it’s convenient.”

“No, Carla, that’s not true,” I protested, my chest tightening with guilt. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

“That’s what you said the last time I brought this up,” she said quietly. “But nothing changed.”

I felt like the air had been knocked out of me. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I never wanted to hurt you. You’re my best friend.”

“I know you didn’t mean to, Kaira. But it still hurts. And it hurts even more having to point it out instead of you realizing it on your own. Twice. Not once, but twice. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?”

I swallowed hard, tears streaming down my face again. “I’ll do better, Carla. I promise.”

She sighed again. “What happened with you and Roman?”

I didn’t even want to tell her. She didn’t really want to hear it. I didn’t blame her. The last few weeks had been all about me and my drama. And then when things started going really well, I abandoned her.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have called. I’m, well, I might be staying at the condo.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t want to dump on you.”

“Kaira, just tell me,” she said.

“I went into a room I wasn’t supposed to and it was really bad. I think it’s better for me to leave.”

She was quiet for a minute. “I hope you and Roman make up. I really do. But… I think I need some space right now.”

The line went dead before I could respond. I stared at my phone, the screen blurring through my tears. The loneliness that enveloped me was suffocating. For the first time in a long time, I felt completely untethered, like I was drifting alone in the dark.

I couldn’t stay in the mansion. It was clear Carla didn’t want me at my own condo. I was abandoned. I had only myself to blame.

But I couldn’t stay in the mansion. I had to get away. I needed to talk to someone.

I didn’t know who else to call. I had no one else. My fingers moved on autopilot, dialing my parents. It had been weeks since I’d spoken to them. That was just another thing to feel guilty about. I was a horrible daughter, friend, and girlfriend. I was batting a thousand.

But they were my parents and I knew they would love me regardless of my spotty contact. Since moving in with Roman, I had only reached out a couple of times via texts here and there. They weren’t the type to keep up with the media, so I knew they had no idea about what had been going on. I could only imagine what their reaction would be.

My mom picked up on the second ring. “Kaira?”

“Mom.” I couldn’t say anything else. The lump of emotion was lodged in my throat.

“Sweetheart, is everything okay?”

The sound of her voice cracked something open inside me. The whole story came tumbling out. The contract, the fake engagement, the budding romance with Roman, tonight’s fight—everything. My words were rushed and messy, interrupted by sniffles and hiccups, but I couldn’t stop. I knew I was probably making no sense. My thoughts were all over the place.

When I finally finished, there was a long silence on the other end of the line. I had to check my screen to make sure she was still there.

“You did what? ”

“I know it sounds bad,” I said quickly, my face burning with shame. “But it wasn’t supposed to get this complicated.”

“You think?” my dad’s voice came through the receiver, sharp with disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell us any of this, Kaira?”

“Because I knew you’d try to talk me out of it,” I admitted. “And at the time, I thought I could handle it.”

“Kaira,” my mom said, her voice softer now but still firm.

I took a deep breath and braced myself. Their reaction was about what I expected. “I know,” I said with a sigh.

“This is serious, Kaira,” Mom said. “You’re playing with fire here, emotionally and legally. How could you get involved in something like this?”

“I don’t know.”

“If you needed money, you should have called us,” Dad said.

“It wasn’t really about the money,” I said. “Well, only partially about the money.”

“Was this some infatuation?” Mom asked. “Who is this guy? I’ve never known you to be so reckless. This is not like you at all.”

I hesitated, wiping at my eyes. “I thought I was helping him,” I said quietly. “And then it just… it became more. I didn’t expect to feel this way.”

My mom sighed. “Sweetheart, you need to get out of this arrangement. It’s not healthy, and it’s clearly causing you pain.”

“The first thing you need to do is void that contract,” Dad said. “Get out of that house. Get away from that man. You are not a…”

He didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t have to. All three of us knew exactly what he was going to say.

The idea hit me like a punch to the gut. Voiding the contract would mean ending this… whatever this was with Roman. Could I do that? Could I really just walk away?

“I don’t know if I can,” I whispered. “I… I think I love him.”

There was a stunned silence on the other end of the line. “Then you need to tell him that. But Kaira, if this is how things are now, you need to think about whether this relationship is good for you. I don’t think it’s healthy. I don’t understand how or why someone would lose their temper over what you describe as a painting studio.”

“It’s hard to explain,” I said.

“It sounded pretty clear to me,” Dad said in a gruff voice.

“I hurt him, Mom. I crossed a line I shouldn’t have, and I don’t know how to fix it. It wasn’t just a room. It was something very important to him. It’s taken me weeks to get him to laugh freely and I ruined everything by walking through that door.”

“Sounds like the guy is a real peach,” Dad said. “Why would you want to be with someone like that?”

“Because he does laugh and smile and he’s a good man,” I said, feeling defensive of him. “I don’t know what to do.”

“You start by being honest,” Mom said gently. “With him, with yourself, with everyone. No more hiding.”

“I don’t think he wants to hear from me,” I said.

“Maybe not, but if you don’t tell him how you feel, how is he ever going to know?” Mom asked.

I knew my mom was right. I had to be honest with Roman, even if it terrified me. I had to lay it all out there and let the chips fall where they may. Hiding behind the half-truths and falsehoods that started this whole arrangement wouldn’t fix anything.

“Maybe,” I said. “But I think I should give him some time to settle down.”

“That’s probably for the best,” Mom said. “Why don’t you try and get some sleep? You can talk to him in the morning.”

We talked for a little while longer, but when I hung up, I didn’t feel any better. If anything, I felt worse. I’d hurt Roman. I’d hurt Carla. I’d shut my parents out of my life. And for what? To pretend I was someone I wasn’t, living a life that wasn’t mine?

I curled up on my bed, clutching a pillow to my chest as the tears kept coming. I didn’t know how to make any of this right. All I knew was that I felt broken, and the one person who might be able to put me back together was the same person I’d hurt the most.

After crying until I didn’t have any tears left, I got out of bed and took off the dress that was now wrinkled.

I hung it up and put on my own clothes. I looked around the large closet filled with designer outfits. It was another reminder of my attempt to be someone I wasn’t. The whole charade spectacularly exploded in my face.