Chapter 43
43
KAIRA
A nthony kept looking in the rearview mirror but, thankfully, said nothing. I had no idea what Roman told the staff. I felt like I had been cut off. They were Roman’s people. I had betrayed the boss and now I was on the outs.
“Are you okay?” Anthony asked quietly.
I offered a weak, watery smile. “No.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” My voice was barely above a whisper, the lump in my throat making it difficult to speak loudly.
Anthony kept his eyes on the road. “Do you have somewhere to go?”
I nodded, staring blankly out of the passenger window. “Yes, I still have my condo. I think.”
I wasn’t necessarily surprised Roman was throwing me out. I was going to leave anyway. But there had been a small part of me that hoped he would calm down and be willing to talk about what happened. I had been hopeful I would join him in the kitchen for coffee and he would be open to having a conversation. He would express his disappointment. I would apologize and promise not to do it again and we would move forward, together.
I should have known that was a pipe dream. Roman was not the kind of man that allowed for second chances. He had a hair trigger. While I didn’t necessarily agree with his over-the-top reaction to me being in his mother’s studio, I understood it when I put myself in his shoes. I knew how jaded he was. I had learned about his past and the way he kept everyone at arm’s length.
And ultimately, I had made a mistake by breaking a promise. Now I had to suffer the consequences.
The ride to my condo felt longer than it should have. It was strange to go from the sprawling estates with iron gates and acres of perfect, lush green lawns to the crowded city streets. Buildings packed together like sardines. The only green was the palm trees.
It felt like shifting between two worlds in a single journey. This was probably what Cinderella felt like when she rushed out of the ball. As Anthony pulled to a stop in front of my building, I hesitated before opening the door, not quite ready to face reality. He offered to help me with my bags, but I declined.
“Thank you, Anthony,” I said, forcing myself to sound normal. “It was nice meeting you.”
“If you need anything…” he started, his concern visible despite his professional demeanor.
“I’m good. Take care of him.”
“I’ll do my best,” he said with a nod.
Anthony pulled away when an impatient cab driver honked the horn. I stayed where I was, staring up at the building. I should be happy to be home. But what if Carla didn’t want to see me? What if I wasn’t welcome here anymore either? After our conversation yesterday, I had a feeling she was going to be less than thrilled at my return.
I had been a little homesick. It was the same brick and glass structure I’d always come back to after long days, the place I’d called home for years. My safe place with my cozy blanket on the back of the couch and my very basic bed. It wasn’t a lot, but it was mine and it was comfortable and familiar.
But now, it felt foreign. Like someone else’s home.
I trudged up the stairs, dragging my luggage behind me. Each step felt heavier than the last. When I reached the door to our apartment, I paused, my heart pounding. I wasn’t sure if I should knock or just let myself in. It was my place. I was on the lease, but it didn’t feel like I belonged.
Finally, I took a deep breath and turned the key.
The familiar hum of vacuuming greeted me as I stepped inside. Carla was in the living room, her back to me, headphones in place as she worked the vacuum over the worn carpet. She swayed slightly to the music, completely unaware of my presence. For a moment, I just stood there, watching her, trying to gather the courage to say something.
Eventually, she noticed me. Her movements slowed, and she straightened, turning off the vacuum. She pulled out her earbuds and tilted her head at me. “I thought you might show up.”
I looked down at my feet, my voice barely above a whisper. “He kicked me out.”
“Oh.” Carla deflated slightly, her brows knitting together.
“What?” I asked, noticing the way her expression shifted.
“Nothing,” she said quickly, but her tone betrayed her.
“Carla,” I pleaded, stepping forward. “Please, tell me. We tell each other everything, don’t we?”
She hesitated, crossing her arms over her chest. Finally, she sighed. “I thought you were here to apologize in person.”
“What?” I was confused. “I did apologize.”
She shook her head in disgust. “Yes, of course you did. Thank you so much for your time. I really, really appreciate it.”
Her words hit me like a slap. “I—Carla, I’m sorry. I know I’ve been a terrible friend.”
She shook her head. “Whatever.”
“Carla, let’s get some coffee and talk. I’ve been up all night and need some serious caffeine.”
She rolled her eyes, which again surprised me. “Kaira, you didn’t come here to apologize. You came here because things with Roman went sour. Again. That’s the only reason you’re here. You want to tell me all about the mean things he did. You want me to give you advice and tell you he really does want you and you should fight for him. Right? That’s how this is supposed to go, right?”
Tears burned in my eyes. I blinked them back furiously. She wasn’t wrong. I had been a selfish friend, caught up in my own drama while ignoring her. “I’ve messed everything up,” I whispered. “I don’t even know where to start.”
Carla softened slightly, but she didn’t move to comfort me. “I don’t know what to tell you, Kaira. You’ve been so wrapped up in your life with Roman that you’ve barely noticed anyone else. You’ve seen our other friends do the same thing. We’ve sat on this very couch and talked shit about the stupid girls who go all in on a guy they barely know. And now, here you are, doing exactly that. Where’s that girl who was going to conquer the world, huh? Where has she gone?”
Carla’s words stung. She had a point. I had let myself get swept away by romance and drama, losing sight of everything else that mattered—my dreams, my ambitions, even my friendships.
“I know,” I managed to say, my voice cracking with emotion. “I lost myself for a while there. I forgot who I was supposed to be.”
Carla sighed again, her posture relaxing slightly as she looked at me not with anger, but with disappointment. “Yeah, you did.”
I nodded, biting my lip to keep from sobbing. “I’ve been horrible to you. I’ve ignored you when you needed me.”
“I didn’t need you, but you were my best friend. We spent all our free time together and then you were just gone. You didn’t think twice about me. I’m not mad that you had a boyfriend or whatever that was. I’m mad that you let his money and status change you.”
Carla’s words left me gutted, a piercing truth I couldn’t deny. My eyes welled up as I gulped down the lump forming in my throat, feeling the weight of her disappointment. “You’re right,” I admitted. “I let myself get carried away with everything Roman represented. It was glamorous and exciting at first, but I lost so much of myself in the process.”
“It’s like you disappeared into someone else. The Kaira I knew wouldn’t have done that.”
I glanced around the apartment. This wasn’t home. Carla and I would just keep going round and round. I didn’t want to completely damage our friendship.
“I… I think I need to go away for a while. Give you some space. Get my head on straight.”
She looked at me, surprised. “Where will you go?”
“To my parents’ place in Philadelphia,” I said. “Just for a little while. I need to figure out what I’m doing with my life. And you deserve better than what I’ve been giving you. If you want to rethink our living arrangement, I’ll understand. All I ask is that you give me enough time to find another roommate.”
For a moment, I hoped she would tell me to stay, that we could work this out in a day or two. But she didn’t. She just nodded. “Maybe that’s a good idea. I’ll let you know if I find somewhere to go.”
I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat growing. “Yeah,” I said, forcing a weak smile. “Great.”
I dragged my suitcases to my room. I wasn’t going to bother unpacking. I closed the door behind me. The familiar smell of lavender and old books hit me, and for the first time in a long time, it didn’t bring comfort. I sank onto the bed and pulled out my phone, dialing my dad.
He picked up after a few rings. “Hey, sweetheart,” he said, his voice warm and familiar. “How was your night?”
“Terrible.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
I took a shaky breath. I hated that I had to do this. I hated that I had to rely on my parents to bail me out of another mess. “Dad, I need to come home. The contract is over, and I’m broke, and I just… I need to be with you and Mom for a while. I can’t be here.”
There was a pause on the other end. I braced myself for disappointment. “You don’t have to explain, Kaira. We’ll take care of it. I’ll book your ticket right now. When do you want to fly out?”
“Now. Yesterday.”
He chuckled softly. “I understand. I’ll text you in a few.”
Tears welled up in my eyes again, but this time they were tears of relief. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“Of course. We’ll be here when you’re ready,” he said softly. “Hang in there, kiddo. This is for the best. You’ll see.”
After we hung up, I lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I held up my hand. The ring had become a part of me. And now it was gone—just like Roman. The expression on his face when I walked downstairs this morning was brutal. He was so cold. He was just like the man I had met a month ago at that stupid auction.
My father was right. This was for the best. If he was that quick to dismiss me, it was never going to work. I couldn’t be with someone that I had to worry was going to dump me if I opened the wrong door. It was better this ended now, before I was in even deeper.
At least that was what I was going to keep telling myself.
Desperate for a distraction, I started scrolling through my phone. That was when I saw it. A clip of Roman from earlier that morning, storming past reporters outside his office.
“Roman Kelly Roars at Reporters.”
I hesitated, then clicked play. The video was only a few seconds long, but it was enough to make my heart ache. He looked furious, his jaw tight and his eyes cold as he barked at the reporters.
“Get out of my way,” he snapped, his voice sharp enough to cut through steel.
But beneath the anger, I could see it. Pain.
This wasn’t how things were supposed to end. Not for us. Not like this.
I dropped my phone onto the bed and covered my face with my hands. Why had I gone into that room? Why couldn’t I have left it alone?
Tears spilled down my cheeks as I curled up on the bed, the weight of my mistakes pressing down on me. For the first time in a long time, I felt truly, utterly alone.