Chapter 19
Anan
My heart clenched at the thought of Rafael putting himself in even more danger than usual by pursuing this missing shipment of fentanyl. I knew there would be more than just one, too.
It was one thing to know that he was involved in dangerous activities as the head of a criminal cartel—but to have it rubbed in my face like this, with the very real threat of violence and retribution hanging over us...
I shuddered, my fingers curling around Rafael's hand as if I could anchor him to safety by sheer force of will alone. He was so strong and capable, but even the most indestructible man could only withstand so many blows before succumbing to the weight of it all. And that was something I couldn't let happen.
"I can't lose you," I whispered, my voice cracking with the intensity of my feelings even as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. "You're everything to me now—my whole world revolves around you and our future together. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you because of this."
My free hand came up to press against his chest, right over the steady thump of his heart beneath my palm as if I could somehow keep him tethered to life by touch alone.
Rafael's expression softened at my outburst, one large hand coming up to cup the back of my head almost protectively even as he turned his face into my touch with a sigh.
"I know this isn't easy for you," he murmured, stroking his fingers through my hair in soothing patterns that never failed to calm me no matter how agitated I became. "But I need you to trust that I have the situation well in hand and that I won't let anything happen to me."
I wanted to believe him—I desperately wanted to put all my faith in his abilities and expertise. But the rational part of my brain knew that even with all of Rafael's strength and cunning, there were still too many variables beyond our control for me to feel entirely at ease.
And he should know that better than anyone. I shouldn't have to argue about this.
"You say that," I continued, my voice rising in pitch as my agitation grew, "but you can't guarantee anything for certain. And if something happens to you because of this..." I trailed off, unable to even contemplate the possibility without feeling physically ill at the mere thought.
Rafael's grip on me tightened, his eyes flashing with a fierce light that made my breath hitch in my throat. "If something happens to me, it will be because I was too weak to protect what is mine," he growled, locking his eyes with mine. "And I can assure you, little omega—I am anything but weak."
I shivered against him, both from the sheer force of his conviction and the way his body molded against mine like we were two halves of the same whole. It was intoxicating and terrifying all at once.
"You're not weak," I conceded, my voice softening even as I lifted my chin. "But you're not invincible either. No one is. And I'm not going to sit back and watch you put yourself in unnecessary danger just because you have some misguided sense of machismo to prove."
There, I said it. I didn't know how he was going to take it, but whatever happened, he now knew what I thought.
Rafael's eyes narrowed at that, a muscle jumping in his jaw as if he were grinding his teeth together in frustration. It was clear that my words had struck a nerve with him even as I could see the wheels turning behind his gaze as he sought a way to counter my argument.
"You're not just my husband now," he said slowly after a long moment, his tone mild even as a dangerous glint entered his eyes. "You are also the father of my unborn children. And as such, it is your duty to respect and support the decisions I make in order to keep our family safe and secure."
I recoiled slightly at the harshness in his voice, a chill running down my spine at the reminder that even in the throes of passion, Rafael could still wield his authority over me like a weapon when he chose. But I refused to back down, not when so much was at stake.
"I respect you as my alpha and my husband," I shot back, my own temper flaring in response to his high-handed tactics even as I struggled to keep my voice steady and level. "But I do not respect the choice you're making here. And I will not sit by idly while you court danger for the sake of some misguided sense of loyalty to a corrupt institution."
Rafael's expression darkened at that, his eyes narrowing into dangerous slits as he leaned in closer, caging me against the headboard with his body even as he gripped my jaw in one large hand. "Careful, little omega," he purred. "You're skating very close to the line of insubordination here."
◆◆◆
I stood at the kitchen counter, stirring a pot of my famous macaroni and cheese while humming an old lullaby. The rich aroma of butter, cream, and aged cheeses mingled with the savory notes of the slow-cooked tomato sauce bubbling on the stove beside me.
It was a recipe I had perfected over the years, one that never failed to soothe my nerves and fill my stomach with comfort when life felt overwhelming. And right now, as my heavily pregnant belly strained against the apron tied around my waist, I needed all the comfort I could get.
The twins were due any day now, their energetic kicking and punching growing more insistent with each passing week.
Rafael had been out of town for the past few days, dealing with yet another missing shipment of fentanyl that threatened to destabilize the cartel's grip on the city.
I tried not to worry too much about his safety, knowing that he was more than capable of handling whatever challenges arose. But the constant stress of his line of work had taken its toll on both of us over the past few months, and I longed for the day when we could put it all behind us and focus solely on our growing family.
I couldn't help but wonder when that would finally happen. I needed it so much.
As I poured the creamy sauce over the tender pasta noodles, folding them together until they were coated in a velvety sheen, my mind drifted back to the heated argument we had shared about Rafael's involvement in the cartel.
I still stood by my conviction that he needed to find a way out of the dangerous business before it consumed us both.
But I also knew that change wouldn't happen overnight, and that I would have to be patient and persistent in my efforts to guide him towards a better path.
For now, all I could do was love and support him. I just hoped it was enough.
Just as I was about to turn off the stove and dish up our meal, a sharp cramp seized my abdomen, doubling me over with a startled cry.
The pot clattered to the floor as I gripped the edge of the counter for support, my breath coming in short gasps as another wave of pain crashed through me.
This was it—the moment we had been anticipating and dreading in equal measure for the past several weeks. I was going into labor, and Rafael wasn't here.
With shaking hands, I fumbled for my phone on the kitchen counter, dialing his number even as I struggled to remain upright. It rang once, twice, three times before he finally picked up.
"Anan? What's wrong?" he barked into the line, his voice tight with concern, even as I could hear the roar of traffic in the background. I wondered where exactly he was. Was he far away? "Are you okay?"
"I'm in labor," I gasped out, fighting to keep my voice steady even as another contraction ripped through me, making my vision go white at the edges. That was the best I could have said, too. "You need to come home now. The babies are coming."
There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end, followed by a flurry of activity and muffled voices that I could barely make out over the pounding of my own heart in my ears.
"I'm on my way," Rafael growled, his tone brooking no argument even as I heard him barking orders to his men. "I'll be there in ten minutes. You stay put and don't try to move too much until I get there."
The line went dead before I could respond, leaving me clutching the phone to my chest as I fought to catch my breath through the lingering pain. He was coming—I just had to hold on long enough for him to arrive.
But could I? I didn't know. I was going to try to do my best.
Even as I tried to focus on my breathing and not giving in to the urge to panic, another contraction seized me with ruthless intensity, stealing the air from my lungs as my body began to bear down with a force that defied description.
This was no ordinary labor—something was wrong, and I knew it deep in my bones. The twins were coming too fast, too soon for me to handle on my own.
I had to get to the hospital now before it was too late. But how? Rafael had taken the car keys with him when he left, and I was in no condition to drive myself anywhere. We didn't have any other cars present; they had been taken for his mission. I also couldn't see any of the guards who kept the property safe.
Feeling my chest tight, I stumbled towards the front door of the mansion, praying that I would find a way to make it to safety before the worst of my contractions hit, or at least find one of the guards so they could help me. I couldn't do this alone—I needed Rafael now more than ever, or just someone equally capable.
I stumbled through the halls of the mansion, my heart pounding as I sought out any sign of the guards who were normally stationed throughout the property at all times. But the silence was deafening, broken only by the sound of my own ragged breathing and the occasional groan that escaped me as another contraction seized my abdomen.
Where were they? I asked myself, but I knew that no answer was going to come anytime soon.
It was surreal to think that just moments ago, I had been standing in the kitchen, humming happily as I prepared a comforting meal for myself and Rafael to share together.
And now here I was, alone and in labor, with no one around to help or guide me through this terrifying ordeal. I never thought something like this would ever happen.
As I reached the front foyer, I paused to catch my breath, one hand braced against the wall while the other cradled my swollen belly.
The pain was intensifying rapidly now, each contraction more powerful and prolonged than the last, making it increasingly difficult to think clearly or move with any degree of coordination. And to top it off, there wasn't much I could do to remediate the situation.
I needed to get to a hospital right away—that much was clear. But without a car or any means of transportation, I was trapped here until Rafael returned. And God only knew how long that would take given the nature of his current mission.
He told me he was going to hurry and even though I knew he was trying to get back here as quickly as possible, I didn't know if he was going to make it in that time.
A fresh wave of panic crashed over me at the thought of trying to deliver these twins on my own with no medical assistance whatsoever. I had never even attended a birthing class or learned anything about the process beyond the most basic information. How was I supposed to handle this?
And the answer to that question was that I couldn't handle it on my own. I needed help.
I was still grappling with that terrifying realization when the sound of tires screeching on the gravel outside caught my attention, followed by the slam of a car door and the rapid thump of footsteps approaching the house.
Someone was coming, finally.
"Anan!" Rafael's voice boomed through the foyer a split second before he burst into view, his expression a mask of pure anguish as he took in my disheveled state. "What happened? Are you alright?"
I opened my mouth to respond but was cut off by another vicious contraction that stole the breath from my lungs and left me gasping against the wall. Rafael was at my side in an instant, one strong arm wrapping around my waist to support me as he guided me towards the door.
"I'm here now," he murmured fiercely even as he hustled me out onto the front porch and down the steps toward the waiting car. "I've got you, baby. Just hold on a little longer."
As we tumbled into the backseat, Rafael already barking orders to the driver to get us to the nearest hospital as quickly as possible, I clung to him like a lifeline even as I struggled to remain coherent through the haze of pain.
It was difficult to do that, to say the least. Almost impossible.
"I'm scared," I whimpered, hating how weak and pathetic I sounded but unable to stop myself. "The contractions are coming so fast now—I don't know if I can make it to the hospital in time."
Rafael's expression hardened with grim determination even as he gathered me closer against his chest, one large hand splaying over the dome of my belly.
"You will make it," he vowed, his voice brooking no argument. "I will not allow anything to happen to you or our babies, do you understand? You are my everything—my heart and soul—and I will move heaven and earth to ensure your safety."
I nodded against his shoulder, too overwhelmed by emotion to form a coherent response. And then another contraction hit, stealing the very breath from my lungs as my body began to bear down with a force that defied description.
"Fuck," Rafael swore, his eyes widening in alarm as he felt my muscles clenching and fluttering beneath his palm. "We're not going to make it to the hospital in time. The babies are coming right now."
I could only whimper in response, too far gone in the throes of labor to do anything but hang on for dear life as Rafael barked out a string of orders to the driver and the guards who had suddenly appeared from nowhere.
"Pull over!" He commanded with his voice raised. "We're going to have to deliver these babies right here in the car. Get me towels and hot water stat!"
Where were they going to get those? I asked myself. Then I realized it didn't matter. Rafael was going to find them somewhere and bring them here. I knew he could do it; he was capable of anything.
As the vehicle screeched to a halt on the side of the road, I could only pray that Rafael's medical knowledge was as extensive as his confidence would lead me to believe. Because if not... well, I didn't even want to think about what might happen.
But then he was there, cradling my head in his hands and gazing down at me with an intensity that stole the very air from my lungs.
"You are the strongest person I know," he declared with his eyes locked with mine, his thumbs stroking soothingly over my cheekbones. "And you will get through this because you have to—for our babies and for me. I believe in you, Anan."
I wanted to believe him too. I had to.
So as the next contraction crashed over me like a tidal wave, I clung to Rafael's words, letting them anchor me against the relentless tide of pain and fear that threatened to sweep me away.
I could do this. We could do this.
Rafael's hands were steady and sure as he guided me through the most intense pain I had ever experienced, his eyes never leaving mine even as he murmured words of encouragement and love that seemed to seep into my very soul. He was my rock in this stormy moment, the one constant amidst the chaos.
"Push now," he urged as he positioned himself between my legs, ready to catch our firstborn child as it emerged from my body. "You're doing amazing, baby. Just a little bit longer and we'll have him out."
I gritted my teeth against another wave of agony, bearing down with all my might even as I clung to Rafael's arms for dear life. The pressure was immense, like trying to push a watermelon through a straw, but somehow, our baby slipped free into his waiting hands.
It happened so fast, faster than I thought.
"He looks so precious," he breathed, cradling the squirming infant against his chest with an expression of pure adoration that made my heart swell even as I gasped for breath. "Our first son."
I couldn't help but smile at the sight of them together—my strong alpha and our dear child bound by blood and love already.
But then another contraction seized me, stealing my momentary respite and forcing me to focus once more on the task at hand. The second baby was coming fast now, his tiny body eager to join his brother in this world. With some luck, everything was going to be okay with him too.
"Here he comes," Rafael growled, positioning himself again as I bore down with all my might. "Push, Anan—push him out for us."
And so I did, gritting my teeth against the pain and straining every muscle in my body until finally, with a last desperate cry, our second son slid into his waiting arms.
"He's perfect, just like his brother," Rafael murmured, gazing down at the tiny baby wriggling in his hands even as he quickly cleaned him off before wrapping him tightly in one of the towels he had prepared earlier.
I couldn't help but laugh through my tears at that, leaning back against the seat with a sigh of relief as the worst of the labor seemed to be over.
But then Rafael's expression turned serious, his eyes darkening with determination even as he reached out to take my hand in his own. "Anan," he began, his eyes shining differently, telling me he was about to tell me something he'd been thinking about for a long time. "I promise you this—what happened today will never happen again."
I blinked up at him, confused by the sudden shift in his demeanor. What was he talking about? He had to clarify.
"I mean it," he continued, squeezing my hand tightly as if to emphasize the sincerity of his words. "You should never have been left alone and vulnerable like that—especially not when you were carrying our children."
He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing on with renewed fervor. He regretted leaving me alone so he could deal with the problem of other missing fentanyl shipments.
"So I swear to you now—I will change the way we run things within the cartel," he vowed, his gaze burning into mine. "No more putting my own needs above yours or risking your safety for the sake of business. From this moment forward, our family comes first—always."
I felt a warmth spread through me at those words, filling me with hope and love even as I struggled to grasp their full implications.
"What does that mean?" I asked softly, searching his face for any hint of uncertainty or doubt. But all I found was pure conviction and resolve.
"It means," he said, choosing each word, "that I will delegate more responsibility to my most trusted lieutenants—men who have proven themselves loyal and capable over the years. They can handle day-to-day operations while I focus on what truly matters."
He paused, his gaze flicking briefly towards our newborn sons before returning to me with a soft smile.
"I want to be present for every moment of their lives," he continued, "from their first steps to their first words—and everything in between. And that means being there for you too, my love—supporting and cherishing you as you deserve."
I felt tears well up in my eyes at the pure emotion in his voice, overwhelmed by the depth of his commitment even as I struggled to process it all.
"Really?" I whispered, hardly daring to believe that this was truly happening. "You won't go back on your word?"
Rafael chuckled, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to my forehead before pulling me close against him once more. "I never break my promises," he murmured into my hair. "And I will make sure you have everything you need and deserve from now on."
As we sat there in the backseat of the car, our sons cradled safely in Rafael's strong arms while I leaned against his chest, I knew that this was just the beginning of a new chapter for us.