5. Lottie
LOTTIE
“ H elp yourself to whatever you want?” I muse in Shelly’s direction as the Heartstrings and Sweet Things Spectacular rages around us. “Now that sounds like a generous offer.”
“It does sound that way, doesn’t it?” She casts a glance in the direction Romeo and Juliette took off in. “Some people are so very generous, and Juliette Lovett is one of them.”
“Wow,” Venus muses. “Are you sure you don’t drink, Shelly?”
The two of them share a dark laugh.
“I’m a food critic,” Shelly says to Carlotta and me. “I make a living getting invites to people’s eateries and eating all the free food I want.”
“Hold your purple-headed horses, Hot Shot,” Carlotta grouses at the woman. “You mean to tell me just because you criticize yum-yums for a living, people throw food at you for free ?”
I nod at the two women. “ Free happens to be Carlotta’s favorite F word.”
“That’s not true, Lot.” She ticks her elbow into my rib and one of the twins gives her a kick right back. “It’s like you don’t even know me. My favorite F word is?—”
“ Yes ,” Shelly says, wisely cutting Carlotta off at the profanity pass. “I get to eat for free.”
Carlotta rolls her eyes at the woman. “I was going to say fudge , you sassy grape. But how about I come along with you on these little chomping capers?”
“Fudge, my foot.” I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Please excuse Carlotta,” I say for the second time tonight. “Shelly, I can promise you that she’s not going to tag along or stalk you while you’re out doing your foodie thing.”
“Oh, I don’t mind.” Shelly honks out a laugh my way. “I hate sitting and eating all by my lonesome. There’s plenty of food to go around.” She points at Carlotta. “Don’t you go anywhere, Hot Mess Express. I need to run to the little girls’ room and then we can exchange numbers.” She nods to Venus. “You stay sweet as sugar.” She points to the bar. “Don’t you dare let those two ruin your night.” She lands a kiss to Venus’ cheek before taking off.
“Hot Mess Express?” Carlotta jolts as if she’s just been electrocuted when she says it. “It’s like she knows me.”
“She’s got your number, that’s for sure,” I muse.
Carlotta huffs, “I think those Little Yippies in your belly are eating your brain cells again. She just said she’d give me her number as soon as she got done turning on the sprinkler.”
I make a face at Venus. “Sorry. I think the lobotomy is working a little too well.”
Venus laughs. “She’s fine. Speaking of sprinklers, I’d better find my kids. Undoubtedly at least one of them has to use the restroom themselves.” She takes off and I frown over at Carlotta.
“Could you put a muzzle on when we’re around mixed company? You’re embarrassing yourself and you don’t even know it.”
“I only wear muzzles for Harry, and at that, he needs to sit up and beg.”
My eyes close spontaneously, and for some reason I can’t pry them open.
Harry would be Mayor Nash, my biological father.
“Come on, Lot, less napping and more snacking. Let’s gobble our way around the room like a couple of fattened turkeys. I need to practice for my budding career.”
“You are pretty good at criticizing people,” I say.
And face it, I’m pretty good at gobbling up everything I see. Not to mention I pretty much have that whole fattened turkey thing in the bag, and then some.
Carlotta and I make quick work of the room. We don’t sample a little of everything, we sample a lot of everything. In fact, we were getting the side-eye for inhaling the last few raspberry cream éclairs from Venus’ table, and well, we might have hoarded all of the red velvet cheesecake bites and triple chocolate brownies from Romeo and Juliette’s tables, too.
Okay, so we scooped up the last of the tiramisu, baklava, pavlova, and banana cream pie from Romeo and Juliette’s table as well. Although we left their cookies alone. They were hard as a rock. But nevertheless, Juliette was right. They really are running low on their desserts.
Speaking of which, my conversation heart cookies have all but disappeared at my own table.
“Shoot,” I say as I spot the empty platter. “I can’t believe my staff hasn’t refreshed those cookies.”
“The naughty cookies are gone?” Carlotta looks crestfallen.
I shoot her a look. “Yes, the naughty cookies are gone. And you can bet when I find the culprit behind those naughty sayings I’m going to have a word with them.”
“ Teehee .” Carlotta covers her mouth and looks guilty as sin.
“Carlotta, I know for a fact you’re not responsible. I’ve made it clear to every single one of my staff that in no way are you allowed in my kitchen.”
“Well, I didn’t do it personally. But let’s just say, money talks.”
“Oh, good grief.” I avert my eyes a moment. “Let me guess. You paid off Suze?”
She backs up with a jerk. “How’d you get it right on the first try?”
“Not only is Suze the only one you can afford to pay off, but she dislikes me enough to do it.”
Suze Fox is Noah’s mother. And not only does she not care for me, but she’s yet to acknowledge that Lyla Nell is her granddaughter. Lyla Nell is about to turn two. She’s bound to notice her own grandmother’s rejection eventually.
Noah had better fix this and fast or I’ll be forced to. But then, Lyla Nell has my sweet mother to lean on, and my mother is a champion grandmother if ever there was one—or a champion Glam Glam as it were.
I crane my neck for anyone on my staff, but the crowd is too dense to see past the first few people blocking my view. There’s no sign of Everett or Noah either.
“Come on, Hot Mess Express,” I say, grabbing Carlotta by the elbow. “You’re going to have to help me bring in another tray of those naughty cookies of yours. I’ll even let you gobble down all of the cookies with the naughty sayings on them for free. It’s officially your first gig.”
“ Yippee ,” she calls out. “Just so you know, I had Suze set aside a platter just for Sexy and Foxy.”
Sexy and Foxy would be the nicknames she has for Everett and Noah, respectively. She’s not wrong on either account.
She nods contentedly to herself. “A few of my favorites are kiss this, bite me, and there’s a fire in my pants. ”
“Lovely,” I sigh as we make our way out of the ballroom and down the back corridor that leads to the parking lot reserved for vendors.
It’s dark out with no moon, but it highlights the zillions of stars glittering like diamond dust in the sky, and all of Honey Hollow is perfumed with the scent of the pines.
There’s still plenty of snow in our world. But mostly it’s been pushed into a berm because the parking lot has been swept clean, and for that I’m thankful. My center of gravity is off enough as it is, I certainly don’t need to add a slip factor into it.
I lead Carlotta out in the direction where the van from my bakery is located as we enter the lot.
“ Geez .” Carlotta rubs her hands together. “It’s freezing out here. Let’s make this quick. Some of us don’t have two little heaters burning a hole in our belly.”
“They do keep me nice and toasty,” I say, patting my enormous tummy.
“Yeah?” She snorts. “Well, in a few short weeks, they’re going to keep you nice and awake, too. Just so you know, the Honey Hollow Fire Department is still a very good birth plan. In fact, I can help you do the deed when the time?—”
Carlotta does a cartwheel right here in the parking lot, and for a second I think it’s a part of her diatribe. It’s not until I squint and note she’s fallen over a tangle of limbs.
“What the heck,” I squawk as I pull my phone out and flash it at the odd sight.
And then I see it. That’s not just any tangle of flesh that sent Carlotta into a spontaneous somersault. That’s Romeo and Juliette tangled up in one another’s arms. Their eyes are closed and their faces are drained of all color—and each of them just so happens to have an arrow through their chest.
A shrill scream rips through me.
Romeo and Juliette won’t have to worry about refreshing their baked goods ever again.
Romeo Langford and Juliette Lovett are dead.