25. Lottie
LOTTIE
C arlotta leads the way with her arm hooked through mine as we step through a velvet curtain and into the dimly lit upstairs area of Red Satin. It’s the naughty boom-boom room with a whole lot of va-va-voom up on that stage and not a lot of anything else.
The bass is thumping (which, in turn, means the twins are bumping), a series of colorful spotlights sway across the ceiling, and the music is way too loud for my eardrums to ever be safe.
Glittery boas are draped across each of the scantily clad women on stage, and the place holds the scent of cheap beer, even cheaper cologne, and the underlying scent of French fries.
The scantily clad waitresses are parading about with trays of glorious cheesy nachos and every last molecule in my body demands to have them. Heck, my body practically demands that I dive into the deep end of a vat full of that orange goo.
Ooh. I wonder if I could have Everett arrange for that to happen?
We push our way past the crowd, and Carlotta points to the front.
“Now that’s what I call a party,” she says, clapping and whooping it up.
I lean in and blink hard, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing.
Noah and Everett pause right by my side and look equally stumped at the sight before us.
“What?” I hiss as my eyes grow wide.
It takes a minute to register, but there’s a table full of women seated right up front and I think I recognize every single one of them!
Sam is there and it looks as if she has baby Willow papoosed to her chest. Meg is next to her, and I can see baby Piper’s little head poking out of the carrier strapped to her mama’s chest as well.
Lainey is here! She’s holding her belly and laughing at something Keelie is telling her.
Keelie is here?
And that’s not all. I also see my mother, Suze, Charlie, Effie, Lily, Ivy Fairbanks , and Naomi Turner, too.
“Oh my word!” I say, pulling Carlotta in close. “What on earth is going on here?”
Carlotta sheds a grin twice as cheesy as those nachos. “I found out Meg was coming in to pick up her paycheck, so I thought, why not get the rest of the girls together for an impromptu surprise bachelorette party? I made a few calls, and—bam!—here we are. And I even got Mr. Sexy to pitch in for food. Free nachos for everyone ,” she shouts that last bit from the top of her lungs, and the entire place lights up with a whoop .
“Everett!” I laugh as I give him a playful swat on the arm. “You knew about this, and you didn’t tell me?”
He shrugs. “That’s not how surprises work. But I would’ve said something if we weren’t already headed this way.”
I narrow my eyes on Carlotta once again. “Okay, I’m impressed you were able to pull this off. But no offense, I would have helped you come up with something other than watching a bunch of women lose their clothes.”
She shoots me a look. “I don’t need your noggin’ knocking up against mine, Lot Lot. Trust me, I can figure out how to throw a good party all by my lonesome. I already put in a call to the boys across the street. They’re hopping over and putting on a banana hammock show just for us. Let’s just say the managers at both places have owed me a favor for a very long time, and I decided it’s time to collect.”
“Wow,” I say, genuinely impressed. “You really do know how to have a good time.”
Both Everett and Noah raise a brow my way.
“A good time for other people.” I quickly self-correct. “Obviously.” I wrinkle my nose and shrug.
Sweetheart zips in leaving a trail of tiny pink stars in her wake. “Men in banana hammocks? What’s the point of that? Men in my breed parade around naked all day long. Why do you think I enjoy the dog park so much? And oh, how I enjoy watching them run, and run, and have I mentioned run ? You poor humans are so painfully reserved with your bodies. Imagine how freeing it would be to walk around in the nude.”
I try to picture it for a moment before turning to Noah and Everett, and holy heaven, I just got an eyeful, even if it was in my imagination.
I shake my head a bit. Noah and Everett running around in the nude would be far too much for the women of this world to handle.
I nod over at Everett because I’ll be sure to share my thoughts with him later and perhaps we can test out exactly how freeing it could be.
Noah winks my way as if he heard my internal musing and I gasp.
“Whatever you’re dreaming up, I’m in,” he says and I gasp twice as hard.
Good grief. I didn’t say any of that out loud, did I?
These hormones have me all mixed up, and throw in catastrophically loud music, and far too many nachos (that have yet to get in my belly) and, well—I might just find a nude Noah and Everett in my bedroom later tonight if I’m not careful.
And if that’s the case, Everett will certainly put a bullet in Noah’s chest and bury him underneath our rose garden. Those thorny flowers might be frozen still, but come spring, they would have a remarkable bloom because of it—or more to the point, because of Noah.
He always did want to help with the flowers, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what he meant.
Every one of those familiar faces waves us over, and we weave our way through the throngs of customers as the heavy thump of dance music rattles our bones.
The lights blink off and the room goes dark and they flick back on, only to reveal every last woman on stage is naked as the day she was born.
Something tells me there aren’t enough nachos in the world to get me through this night.