30. Lottie
LOTTIE
“ Y ou know, I’ve never been one to discriminate between breeds,” Sweetheart shimmies her way over to Thirteen. “How about you, Hot Stuff? Are you open to a tall, curly-furred cutie who knows how to have a good time?”
I’m standing just shy of the library right here in my mother’s happily haunted B&B with the very family of ghosts who is responsible for the haunting.
Thirteen purrs and mewls with his little ghostly whiskers twitching because he obviously approves of the offer at hand.
Thirteen would be the little black cat who has already spent all nine of his lives and he happens to live right here at my mother’s B&B along with Greer Giles, a gorgeous brunette about my age—albeit frozen in time—her plus-one, Winslow Decker, a handsome blond pig farmer who bit the big one about two hundred years ago, and their adopted daughter, little Lea, a forever six-year-old menace whose long, dark, stringy hair covers her face as much as it does the back of her head, and if it weren’t for her scuffed Mary Janes, you wouldn’t know if she was coming or going.
Lea wears a dingy pinafore, and her most prized accessory is the machete she wields in her hand. As fate would have it, her family was slaughtered right here on the grounds the B&B was built on, and she’s been bent on revenge ever since.
There are some things you just can’t move on from. I get it.
Greer giggles with delight as Sweetheart flirts away with the charming kitty. And who could blame the cute pooch? Thirteen is a catch in this life and the next.
“You know, Lottie…” Greer leans in and those ebony stars in her dark hair shimmer like a river. She’s still wearing the white ruched dress she was killed in, and that dark crimson stain next to her heart stands as a reminder of that fateful night.
Honestly, I’ve always thought it sort of looks like a necrotic rose. All things considered, it does seem fitting.
“Sweetheart reminds me a little of myself.” Greer winks over at Winslow. “I loved me some male attention back in the day.”
“You still do,” Winslow says as he wraps his arms around her. “And don’t think I’ve forgotten what day it is.”
Greer gasps. “Valentine’s Day! Of course, it is.”
“How could you forget?” I ask. “My mother has this place practically gift-wrapped in pink and red hearts.”
“Well, I didn’t forget,” she says. “Miranda does love her holidays. But Valentine’s Day is my birthday in the afterlife.”
“Oh, that’s right,” I say, patting my belly. “You’d think I, of all people, would remember because I’m the one who found your body.”
We share a quick laugh, morbid as it is, just as Lainey trots over, holding her own belly as if it risked falling right off her frame from the sprint over.
“Lottie, you need to come quickly,” she says, panting. “Evie just ran into the quasi-daycare center Mom set up in her office. She’s upset and crying, and she won’t tell me why—and now all the kids are crying, too. I don’t know what to do to calm her down.”
“Oh my word.” I glance in that direction, and sure enough, I can hear a choir of screams. I turn to the ghosts among us. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”
Lainey shakes her head. “Oh, no, I’m going back in there with you,” she says, leading the charge.
Lainey has no idea I can see the dead, speak to the dead, and more or less enjoy a cookie or two with the dead. And I don’t know where they put those cookies either, I don’t want to know, but I’m just glad they can nibble on a sweet treat now and again if they want to.
In a strange way, it makes me look forward to the afterlife myself. All the cake I can eat and not a calorie to count? Count me in.
My mother’s office sits right behind the creamy marble reception counter and is lit up like the sun thanks to the harsh fluorescent lighting above. She really should do something about that. I’m not a fan of anything that highlights wrinkles.
The sound of a thousand kids screaming their lungs out fills the air, and they’re all currently crawling all over Evie at the very same time.
Okay, so it’s not technically a thousand. It’s just Lyla Nell, Josie, and Little Bear. But it’s a sad sight, nonetheless. Each of them is red-faced with a slick of tears running down their cheeks, and their noses are leaking like runaway slugs as well.
But Evie? She looks devastated in a way that I’ve never seen before.
“Evie?” I shout over the riot. “What in the world is happening here?” I grab a box of tissues off my mother’s desk, which happens to have a chaotic abundance of notebooks, paperwork, and knickknacks all over it. She’s not the most organized person I know—and I blame her for my own chaotic disorganization. In truth, my office looks like it was hit by a hurricane and left for dead.
Lainey and I each grab a tissue and clean up every face we can reach, twice .
“ Evie …” I struggle to get close to her because of my belly, so I pull her up, then wrap her in a hug as best I can. The twins kick up a storm because I think they’d like to hug her, too. “What’s happening? Who do I have to kill?” I tease and she gives a mournful laugh.
“Conner Saint,” she blubbers. “And whoever that ho is that he’s cheating on me with.”
“ What? ” I howl so loud all crying ceases for a moment, only to ratchet up at twice its volume.
“Oh my goodness,” Lainey howls twice as loud herself. “You are not going to have to kill him, Lottie. I’m going to do it for you.”
I shake my head at Evie. “You have no idea how much damage two women hopped up on enough hormones to fuel a rocket to Mars can do. And we are going to do some serious damage.”
The doorway darkens, and both Noah and Everett walk in with my mother on their heels.
“What did you girls do to my babies?” Mom screeches before shooing Lainey and me out the door, along with Noah and Everett. “Come to Glam Glam.” Mom pulls Evie into a hug, and poor Evie weeps over her shoulder. And within ten seconds, my mother has wrangled that entire room to near silence.
“I’m sorry to hear about Evie and Conner,” Noah says. “But with things like this, it’s best it’s over between them before things get too far. Once you break that trust, it’s near impossible to get where you thought you were.” He nods my way with a mournful smile.
That’s exactly what happened to Noah and me. He forgot to mention the wife he had, albeit he was on the fast track to divorce and long separated. But nonetheless, I’d trust him with my life.
“I’m about to take off,” Noah says. “I’ll be back soon.”
“Oh, good,” I say, grabbing his hand. “Don’t leave any incriminating marks when you kill him. We can bury him under my rose garden. The world will never know.”
I leave out the fact that I was willing to help Everett bury Noah under my rose garden just a few days ago.
These hormones raging through my body really are lethal.
“I’m not killing Conner.” He frowns hard my way, as if he were shocked that I even brought up the prospect.
Was he not listening to anything we just said?
“I’m going to talk to Jed for a second,” he says. “I’ll see if I can’t get him to hurry this way. Sam’s nerves are all over the place.”
He shoots Everett a pointed look, and I know for a fact when they exchange that hardened expression, they’re bent on keeping something from me. Most likely because of my delicate state, although they’ve done it while I wasn’t hauling around a couple of extra humans as well.
But I couldn’t care less about Jed right now. All of my ire is pointed at a young imbecile named Conner Saint.
Such a shame. I really did like him.
“ Oooh .” Lainey doubles over. “Looks like my little sweet pea is craving a cookie.” She shrugs my way. “What can I say? The kid has good ideas. I’ll be at the dessert table if anyone needs me.” She takes off, and Noah starts to step away as well.
“Wait,” I say, grabbing him by the arm. “What about that stuff we learned last night about Venus?” Now it’s me giving the pointed look.
Last night while I was scrolling through her stuff on social media, I found a throwback picture of her posing with a crossbow. And after some more digging, we discovered that she used to do archery in high school and was pretty good at it. Then she graduated to a crossbow and became a decorated arbalist. That looks like it lasted until she married Sean seven years ago and started their family.
Noah winces. “The stuff regarding Venus will have to wait. I already said hello to her in the conservatory. I know she’ll be here all night, and I know where to find her tomorrow. I’m not worried about her taking off. I can’t make an arrest yet. I don’t have enough to back up my claim. But come tomorrow, I’ll start calling around to all of the archery places in the area to see if anyone has rented any equipment recently or if she’s a member. And yet, she might have a crossbow of her own. In that case, I’ll need a warrant to search her home. But I’ll be honest, if she did do this, I’d think Sean would be suspicious. He had to have known about the lawsuit, and he certainly knew how Romeo and Juliette met their fate. I’d like to think he’d come to me with that information.”
Everett grunts, “If the shoe were on the other foot and you suspected Lemon, would you go running to Ivy?”
Noah cocks his head. “I’d make darn sure you were convicted of this crime.” He points at Everett before turning to me. “Your secret would be safe with me, Lottie.” He rocks back on his heels and casts a quick glance at the conservatory. “Point taken. If Sean suspects something, he’s not talking. Unless he plans on uprooting his family and moving to Canada.” He glances at his watch. “I gotta run.”
He takes off, and I turn toward the conservatory just in time to see Venus stepping inside.
“Lemon,” Everett growls. “Don’t even think about it.”
“Just try to stop me from having a cookie or two,” I say, holding my belly his way. “It’s time to feed the twins.”
And my craving for justice.