Velvet Shadows (The Crimson Court #2)

Chapter 3

SERA

My legs do not feel like my own as we walk from Valeria’s quarters. Nate escorts me back to my chambers, holding my arm the whole way, as if he is afraid I might fall apart beneath his fingers.

When we reach the door, he does not linger. He flies back into the darkness before I realise he has gone and I am left with my mouth open — words on the end of my tongue with only shadows to speak them to.

Valeria’s words echo in my skull. Welcome to the family. I am part of this now.

When Nate washed Ambrose’s blood from me in my chambers, he spoke of the bond connecting us and our destinies. He made it clear we would not want to live without the other, but I am not sure even he realised that we cannot. And his question about severing the bond…

He thought there was a way out. But there is none.

I will never return to the life I knew before. If I ever set foot in London, it will be with Nate at my side. And if he dies, then so do I.

All this time, I have stayed alive because of the promise of an after — of an ending that does not have Nate or Nighthaven or any other damned vampire in it. But from the moment I discovered my mother is tied to this place, that I have powers of my own and that Nate will never want to give up the effects of my blood, I have known I will never be free of it. Not truly.

The thought of my life being tied to Nate so permanently feels like a bone-crushing defeat. Is it the same sensation Camilla had tonight? That fighting any of this is futile, and welcoming death might be the far easier option? Is that what saw her walk into the lake in the end?

The bond is a chain around my neck that I will never be free of. It sits beside my mother’s locket, both of them tethering me to a world I never asked to be a part of. The connection to my mother has always been a comfort and now, somehow, the bond is too. To know that no matter what lies ahead, Nate will always be close.

Our thoughts, emotions, pain, and pleasure all cross the channel between us and will do so for the rest of our lives. How many of my feelings have been deepened by his stirring within me, too? Was the inescapable need to feel his hands between my legs and his fangs at my throat own feeling, or his?

I glance at the spot by the fire where the bathtub sat in the hunt's aftermath only hours ago. Where Nate held my fingers between his own, scrubbing the blood from my wrists, my arms, my collarbones. There had been no tenderness in it, yet the warmth still coiled in my core — the want and lust and desperation that first ignited back in his grandmother’s garden in Mayfair.

And now I have a lifetime of it. The hatred and lust all blurring together so that I can make no sense of it.

I lay back in the bed; the sun hovering on the horizon, knowing sleep will not come after all the horrors that have unfolded tonight.

This will be the last sunrise I see at Nighthaven. I have dreamed of such a time, but there is no joy in it when what awaits us at court will surely be worse.

I think of the others and how the bond is yet another secret I must keep from them. Their knowledge of my magic won’t exist for long. I told them in what feels like a lifetime ago, so we stood a chance of surviving the hunt. But telling them did nothing to save Camilla. And as it puts Nate and me in further danger, he will ensure they forget it.

They will forget everything they have learned about me, every moment of tenderness we have shared since being here because so much of it is tied up with my otherness and my magic. There is a risk it will wipe away Charles’s affection for me and the friendship I have formed with Lizzie. Will Agnes see me once more as the odd imposter she eyed with suspicion on our first night in hell?

I should go to them, I know. The bond affords me some protection and — even if I cannot tell them of it — I might be able to help them. If I could get them from their rooms and far enough away from Nighthaven before nightfall, there is a chance they might not be found.

But the truth is as it has always been. Even if we escape, we will be chased and dragged back again. That is not my curse alone. There is no reprieve from any of this until the monsters say so.

I pull my knees to my chest, my fingers digging into my flesh as my nightgown rides up. If I squeeze tight enough, I might be able to hold myself together and stop my body from crumbling.

The bond ties me to Nate so that there will never be an end — never a moment when we are truly apart. And I cannot accept it.

Of course, I could do as I threatened in Valeria’s tower and let the whole miserable business be over for both of us. I could stake Nate in his sleep or take myself to the lake as Camilla did, filling my pockets with stones instead of waiting to be eaten alive by one of the monsters in the house.

Or I could fight — find the answers I seek about my mother and my powers, and discover a way to break the bond.

Valeria may have said it is impossible, but she does not know our true circumstances. If vampire lore is to be believed, there has never been a blood bond between a witch and a vampire before.

Which means no one has had the power to break such a thing.

My ears strain at a sound outside the door. For a moment, I wonder if it is Nate, but when the knock comes softly against the wood, I know it is not him. Nothing about Nate is soft or patient. He would march in here and take whatever he wanted.

“Come in.”

“I’ve brought you some tea.” It is Mrs Hawley that enters, setting a tray down on the bedside table. “I thought you could use some chamomile to help you sleep.”

I prop myself up against the pillows, uncurling my knees from under my chin. “I may need something a little stronger tonight.” I do not smile at her or let softness flow into my words.

“I trust you are unharmed?”

“Yes.” I reach for the steaming cup. The porcelain is warm against my palms. “I have been healed of my injuries.”

“You must think I am cruel for leaving you this evening.” I feel her studying me with her dark grey eyes, but I do not meet them. “It was an order. If I had not, things would have been much worse.”

I nod. I know she had no choice, but it doesn’t stop the hurt I felt at being abandoned, blooming irrationally in my chest.

“You knew about the bond?”

“I had my suspicions.”

I expect the surly housekeeper to turn and leave, as she has a habit of doing whenever I ask questions, but she does not. She stays standing, watching me silently as I drink.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“It would not have helped. I could give you no answers to the questions you would have. But now her Grace knows, it makes things simpler. Your survival is essential to Lord Nathaniel’s, so I can assist you more readily. By helping you, I keep a child of the House I serve alive.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “You wish to help me?”

“There are things you should know before the family travels to court. Things that will help ensure you survive it.” Mrs Hawley sighs and perches on the end of the bed. “You may imagine that court is a far-flung castle — perhaps an estate like this but far larger and grander. You would be wrong.”

I take a gulp of tea, studying her from over the rim of the china cup.

“Court will be more familiar than you could expect. Miss Ellington, in particular, will be most bemused when we arrive.”

“Agnes? What has it got to do with her?”

“The Crimson Court runs an entire city. One you will be familiar with, even if you have not travelled there.”

I set the teacup on my lap. “I have been to no city but London.”

“Yet I am quite sure you have heard of Bath.”

“Bath?” I think of the chatter that swirls about the ballrooms of Mayfair — stories of taking the waters from the springs; the twice-weekly balls; the soirees and teas. When the ton aren’t in London, they either retire to their country estates, or go to Bath. Have they been walking amongst the undead for decades without realising it?

“The Court has made Bath the city it is today. They have been entwined with its history and successes for centuries.”

“Centuries? That can’t be true.” I shake my head. “Nate told me the vampire nobility had left London after the hunter attack because they could not risk exposure. If Bath was their home all along…”

“London has never been an easy city, but it is one the Court wishes to have a foot in to ensure their longevity. That plan has been reignited with the pledging, but the noble houses can survive without it. They have an entire city in the palms of their hands that humans flock to willingly.”

“So Society has been lured there?”

Mrs Hawley nods. “Bath was designed to be the fashionable cousin to London outside of the Season. Every dance, every fashion, every custom and whim you see in Mayfair was borne out of a vampiric tradition in Bath.”

I may be sitting, but Mrs Hawley’s words are a punch to my stomach, pushing me back further into the pillows.

Wherever we go, there is no escaping the monsters of the night. They are everywhere.

“I understand it is a lot to take in,” Mrs Hawley says, watching my reaction. “When you learn the truth of how vampires and witches are so connected with humanity, it can be disorientating.”

I shake my head. “Next you’ll be telling me that King George was sent mad by a witch’s potion and that the Prince Regent has a vampire mistress amongst the matriarchs in Bath.”

For the first time, I see a small, wry smile pull at the edges of Mrs Hawley’s lips. “Not exactly.”

“But why Bath?” I think of what I have heard of its grand architecture in crescents, squares, and terraces, all built from the famous honey-hewed stone. It is beautiful, somewhere I have always longed to visit. A place my father spoke of fondly as the very city in which he met my other.

“The hot springs that flow beneath the city were the attraction. They hold rejuvenating qualities for vampires.”

“The springs?” I can barely hold in a burst of laughter, setting my tea cup back down on the tray before I spill its contents all over the bed linen. “But the ton goes to Bath to take the waters.”

Mrs Hawley nods. “A ritual inspired by vampires. There are true powers to them for the supernatural. Not so much for humans.”

“But it is an ancient practice. The city’s infrastructure was built during the Roman empire…”

Mrs Hawley does not reply, simply looks at me with her unnerving grey eyes, waiting for me to come to the conclusion myself.

“There were vampires among them.”

“It is how vampires came to England. The oldest vampire families are the ones who originated in Italy. You will meet one of them at Court, although most take their seats in Europe rather than England.”

I lean back into the pillows, closing my eyes. “Any moment now, I will wake up back at my Aunt Cecelia’s and realise this has all been the most terrible, vivid dream.”

“I know it is a shock?—”

“Oh, I am getting quite desensitised to such things now,” I groan.

“Seraphina.” Mrs Hawley turns towards me so her knee bends up at an angle onto the bed. “You must see this for the advantage it is. The ton will not join the noble vampire families in Bath until the cooler months. By the time they do, the Tournament will be over. You will be established as a young lady of importance to the Duchess of Greystoke’s family. Your fortunes will change.”

“My fortunes?” I sit back up. “I am tied to a vampire for the rest of my mortal existence. There is no Society to go back to. No one to impress.”

Mrs Hawley clasps her hands together in her lap. “This doesn’t have to be your fate. I think you know that.”

I study her face — the lines etched around her forehead and the corners of her eyes, the dark grey hair that is held in place by a hundred pins. She is tied to this family in a way I may never understand. But she is willing to help me, an outsider.

“Valeria said the bond between Nate and I could not be broken,” I say quietly. “But she does not know what I am. Is there some magic, something I can do to sever it?”

“It has never been done. But it does not mean it is not possible. There will be answers. Ways to free you from this fate. And you must be freed. Not simply for your sake. The entire basis of our society depends upon it.”

I run my fingers over my mother’s chain. “How is it that my blood gives Nate strength? I do not understand how it is possible if I am part witch. If anyone were to find out?—”

“Then it would rock the very foundation of our way of life, for it should be impossible.” She turns away from me, looking around the room. “It is a delicate balance, this agreement between witches and vampires. It is based on decrees and ancient lore and superstitions. But considering your connection with Lord Nathaniel, I suspect they are half-truths at best, and malicious lies at worst.”

I lean forward, pushing away the bedclothes. “If I am exposed as a witch who has enhanced a vampire’s powers…”

“Then the Court would not only decree our service for our magic, but for our blood too.”

I blow out a long, shaky breath. “Is there not a possibility my blood gives Nate strength because of the bond, but another witch would drain him?”

“Yes, it is possible.”

“And if it is a lie told by the Court and witches’ blood does not harm vampires, why have they not acted upon it?”

Mrs Hawley shakes her head. “If they know, then there is a reason they are keeping it a secret. And you do not want to be the reason it is made public knowledge. It would be treason.”

I swing my legs round and out of the bed, trying to get Mrs Hawley to face me once more. “Why do you serve them at all? What is in this arrangement for you when you are treated as a slave to their every whim?”

Mrs Hawley flinches. “It is better to be required to perform a few conjuring tricks than be burned at the stake.”

“The agreement protects you from persecution?”

“Yes. It was not so long ago that witches were driven out of their communities. Burned, drowned, hanged, tortured. The vampires offered us protection. It was a pact made by a noble on the Court and a high priestess of one of the few remaining covens in the country. They are both long dead, but their agreement remains. By serving vampire families, we are safe. We can practice our craft and ensure the longevity of our bloodlines.”

“So you would choose this life of service over the alternative? You do not want the truth revealed?”

“There will be a reckoning one day soon, Miss Sterling. The way of things will change. But it cannot be like this.” She stands abruptly. “You will need to practice your magic and understand your powers rather than run from them. I will help you however I can when we are in Bath. And if you can answer the questions you have about who you are, then I am sure the path for breaking the bond will become clear.” She picks up the tray and turns towards the door. “But be under no illusion, Miss Sterling. My loyalty is first and foremost to House Blackwood. It will be that way until such a time that I am no longer in their service.”

“You help me only to save yourself, then?”

Since my arrival, I have wanted to believe that Mrs Hawley is not cruel — that she is bound by circumstance, and if things were different, we might be allies of sorts. But she cares only for herself, just like the rest of them.

She does not answer my question. “I will guide you to harness your powers and control them so there are no slips when you are in Bath. With the Tournament looming, there will be all number of atrocities and horrors that will make you want to step in and prevent them. You must not.”

I scowl at her. “If Nate is in danger, I cannot stand by?—”

“If you intervene and your magic is discovered, there will be a fate worse than death for both of you. For all of us, regardless of the bond. Your exposure would ignite a war between witches and vampires.”

My heart shrinks in my chest. Nate spoke of war with the gutterfangs, and the hunters made it clear they were attacking nobles too when they killed Gregor Vossler. And now this?

I glance up at Mrs Hawley. There is fear in her eyes and it is the first time I have truly seen such an emotion. She may not relish being tied to the Blackwoods, but the alternative is something she wants far less.

“I will be careful, Mrs Hawley.”

She nods curtly. “You may think me selfish, but such a war would tear through the entire country. None could be left standing in the end. Neither humans, nor vampires, nor witches. And I do not believe you would want such blood on your hands.”