Velvet Shadows (The Crimson Court #2)

Chapter 28

NATE

The carriage rattles through the darkened streets of Bath, but the noise barely registers above the thousand thoughts thundering in my head.

Benjamin is back.

And Rafe will surely fulfil his promise in the Tournament and end him for good.

Sera is quiet beside me. She spoke to Charles tonight and whatever she learned weighs heavily on her. And between us, the bond pulses as strongly as ever. It is not with the dizzying, distracted hunger it quivers with when we are apart. Now, it pushes us to be closer — urging me to take Sera in my arms and feed until I drown out all the questions that are tangled in my head.

“I know you are worried about Rafe.” Sera turns her body towards me. She is so close that I can feel the warmth of her breath against my cheek when she speaks. “I would not see him hurt and if there is anything you think I can do to prevent him being harmed, I will do it. But Rafe is strong. He should be the victor against Benjamin. And the distraction of their duel works to our advantage.”

A tightness settles in my chest. “How so?”

“We are not allowed in the arena when the Tournament is under way — is that right?”

I nod.

“I will use the time to get to House Azarov. Charles will let me in and take me to the archives.”

“Sera, I thought you might have abandoned this idea?—”

“No.” She squeezes my hand again. Tighter. “Charles found a record of all children born under a blood moon. It seems the Court is killing them before they reach adulthood. They cannot control what the gutterfangs do, so they are removing the threat. They have been doing it for decades. Yet it seems they are still killing the gutterfangs, too.”

I try to make out her face in the gloom of the carriage. “The Court is thorough. If they will go to such lengths to prevent a luna child existing, they would not take the risk of one slipping through the net.”

“Except one has.” Sera lets go of my hand.

“What do you mean?”

“My name is in that ledger, Nate. I was born under a blood moon twenty years ago.”

“That cannot be… you are?—”

“Still breathing. Yes. And they know about it. My name is the only one not crossed through.”

The carriage lurches as we hit a bump in the road. Sera nudges into me, and it takes every ounce of self-control not to pull her onto my lap.

“I need to find out why they have kept me alive.”

“They do not leave loose ends.” I shake my head. Is this what Juliette suspected? None of us our moral creatures, but the idea of killing babies is unsettling to even the worst of us. She wouldn’t have stood for it.

There is a chance she knew about Sera. Valeria would have trusted no one with such information. But if Juliette went to the archives herself…

“There will be something there to explain it in their library, I’m sure. If they are as prolific at keeping records as everyone says, then there will be an answer somewhere. And the Tournament gives me the opportunity to find it.”

“No,” I growl, my fangs lengthening despite my efforts to keep them in check. “It’s too great a risk. If anything happened to you?—”

“Nothing will happen. I’ll have Charles with me, and my magic?—”

“Your magic won’t save you if Nikolai catches you!” I force my hands into my lap to stop them shaking. “Do you have any idea what he’d do to you? The Azarovs are?—”

“Brutal. So I’ve heard.”

“Sera, listen?—”

“I have listened, Nate. I have sat and been patient and waited for you to charm Miss Vossler and find answers without me. But I won’t do it anymore; not when this involves me.”

The carriage lurches to a stop, mirroring the jolt in my chest. I take a deep breath. “At least take Elizabeth with you.”

Sera’s eyes narrow. “No. I'm not putting her in danger?—”

“You will take her with you,” I insist, my voice low and controlled. “And if it comes down to it, you’ll prioritise your own safety over hers.”

Sera pulls away from me. “How could you say such a thing?”

“She is dispensable, Sera. I do not wish for her to die, but if it is a case of you or her?—”

“Lizzie or you, you mean.”

“What?”

“If I die, you die.” She shakes her head. “Whenever I think you might actually care for me, the bond rears its head. The only reason you have protected me is because you are waiting for the right moment to die.” She reaches for the carriage handle and I grab her arm, pulling her back.

“That is really what you think?”

“You’ve made it clear from the beginning that this bond is a burden to you. A curse.”

My grip on her arm tightens. “And it isn’t for you? You were the one who has been desperate to break it, not me. You are the one?—”

“You care about your own survival, Nate, I understand.” She glares up at me, her eyes angrier than I have seen them. “But you dragged me into this and you cannot be angry with me for wanting to know if there will ever be a way out.”

The hunger roars within me, fuelled by anger and the pulsing of the bond. I can feel Sera’s blood hurtling through her veins, yearning to break free and slick my tongue.

My hands fly to her shoulders, pushing her into the carriage door. “You think I want to live this damned existence?”

“Don’t you? If you were so crippled with guilt about your family, you would have ended your own miserable existence decades ago! Yet you cling onto the darkness. You tell yourself you are waiting for the right time, but you are a coward. At least Rafe does not try to hide the fact he enjoys being a monster.” Sera stares up at me defiantly, her breath hitching, lips trembling.

“If I am nothing more than a monster to you, then so be it.” I don’t give her a chance to respond before my fangs slam into her neck with such force that her body rattles against the carriage door. She gasps, her body tensing before she melts into me.

She does not push me away, does not fight me, but there’s no tenderness between us — just raw, angry need.

I drink deeply, more than I should, until I feel Sera’s pulse weaken. When I wrench myself away, panting. Sera slumps onto the carriage floor, her face pale, a trickle of blood running down her neck.

“There,” I say, my voice rough, eyes wild. “Is that what you wanted? Proof that I’m the monster you think I am?”

Sera’s eyes flutter open. When she looks up at me, the anger has been replaced by something else — a pain that turns my stomach.

“No,” she whispers. “It’s proof that we can never trust each other. Not really.”

The words hit me like a physical blow. I lean back, suddenly feeling every inch of space between us.

“Go to House Azarov if you must,” I say coldly. “Take Elizabeth. But know this — whatever you find there, it won’t change what we are. What I am.”

Sera straightens, her hand going to her neck. “And what exactly is that, Nate?"

I look away, unable to meet her gaze. “Bound to each other until the day this damned curse is broken. Nothing more.”

She nods slowly, standing on trembling legs and reaching for the carriage door. “Of course, my lord. I am glad we both know where we stand.”