Chapter 19
The soles of my shoes make no sound against the asphalt as I chase after Xavier Donovan. However, my breathing is loud as hell. I sound like a pug being strangled.
Cardio has never been my thing.
Apparently, stalking is.
Xavier has been on my mind all of last night and every minute of today. I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything except the questions that have haunted me for years. My need for answers from that night, and to know what’s going on with Ben, had taken over, possessed me until I no longer recognize myself.
I’m following a man who has confessed to murder.
For me.
Maybe that’s why I’m not as frightened as I should be. I mean, my legs are shaking, but I’m not scared enough to walk away. That’d be the smart thing to do.
I’m a fucking idiot.
Xavier weaves between the vehicles with a lethal grace, his steps confident and sure. I trail behind, struggling to keep up although I’m jogging. He leads me further into the maze of the parking lot. Row after row of expensive cars are lined up like soldiers awaiting a general. Only the occasional pair of headlights cuts through the darkness surrounding me.
“Wait!” I call out, the sound of my voice startling me.
He pauses halfway down an aisle and slowly turns to face me. The moon hangs low in the sky, but it chooses that exact moment to break through the clouds, creating shadows all around him. Except for a sliver of light that rests against his mouth. Like three years ago, Xavier smirks at me, lips twisted with amusement.
I come to an abrupt halt as memories of him flood my mind.
“Because no one touches what’s mine.”
“What the hell do you want?” he asks.
His question yanks me from my thoughts. I remain in the middle of the road, unable and unwilling to get any closer. I’m not sure any amount of distance between us would make me feel safe.
Every question I’ve ever thought of rushes from my brain to land on my tongue. It feels heavy in my mouth, but I force myself to say something, anything that’ll get this conversation going.
“Why me?”
He tilts his head. “Why not?”
I blink. “That’s not an answer.”
“It is, but not the one you want to hear.”
He’s right. What did I expect? I shake my head at my ignorance. And my ability to forget everything else when he’s near. Even Ben.
Xavier leans against the nearest car and withdraws a cigarette. He lights it up and takes a slow drag, his silver gaze boring into me. Smoke spirals lazily from his nostrils like a dragon. My skin nearly bursts into flame from the heat of his gaze.
“Where’s Ben?” I ask.
Xavier takes another long pull on his cigarette, his lips wrapping around the object in a way I find distracting. No man should have such a sensuous mouth. Or be this attractive.
It’s just fucking rude.
“He’s safe.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“But that’s all you need to know.” He puts out his cigarette by jabbing it against the hood of a Porsche before tossing it to the ground. “The next time you think to come looking for me, don’t.”
“Can you give Ben a message for me?”
Xavier continues to look at me with his arms folded across his chest. That’s not exactly a yes, but it’s not a refusal either.
“Tell him that I’m?—”
The screech of tires and the smell of burning rubber assaults my senses. I spin toward the sound, my hair flying off my shoulders. The glare of headlights stabs at my eyes, forcing me to squint and raise a hand to block the light. The purr of the engine becomes a roar, getting closer with every breath.
My protective instincts scream at me to move and I lift my foot, but everything’s in slow motion. Before I can take a full step, a powerful blow sends me flying. The impact squeezes the air from my lungs.
The world goes blurry, and I blink several times to put things into focus. I’m lying on something hard, but it’s not concrete.
It’s Xavier.
“Delilah?”
He says my name like a caress. It sweeps over me, his breath skimming my lips. I stare down at him, more in shock at the tenderness in his voice than the car that could’ve killed me.
Gray eyes meet mine, the hue churning with concern. And something else I can’t identify. Whatever it is has adrenaline flooding my system.
Xavier reaches up to frame my face with both hands. The slight shifting of his position reminds me that our bodies are flush, causing my heart to beat frantically. More so because he’s touching me.
“Are you hurt?”
I continue staring at him, unable to form words. His expression has softened, but the lines around his eyes and mouth speak of deep worry. For me. Not in a good samaritan type of way either. It’s intimate.
“Answer me, or I’m going to lose my fucking mind,” he snaps.
“Huh?”
He shakes his head, a wry smiling tugging at his mouth. “I guess that counts.”
The haze of shock begins to lift, the gravity of my near miss sinking in. I shake my head to dislodge his hold from my face so I can think clearly. “What happened?”
“Besides you trying to get run over? Not much.”
I plant my hands on the asphalt and lift myself, peering around the parking lot. It’s the same as it was before, quiet and void of pedestrians.
“It’s really dark out here,” I say, still scanning the area. “It was an accident.”
He makes a noncommittal noise deep in his throat. Right before sliding his hands up to encircle my waist. I drop my gaze to him, my brows snapping together.
“Xavier?”
He drags his fingers along my sides, across my back and upward until he’s lightly gripping my neck with both hands. I remain still throughout his exploration, but my heart ricochets in my chest like a wayward bullet.
“What are you doing?” My voice comes out breathy. Husky.
“I’m checking you for injuries.”
“Oh.”
That sounds logical. Considerate, even. If it was someone else…
I stare down at the man underneath me as he continues to trail his fingers along my body, leaving my skin tingling under my clothes. His scrutiny is like a touch all on its own. It runs over my face, stopping on my mouth before he drags his gaze back to mine. Only now, there’s a glint in his silver eyes, making them shine like starlight.
“I’m fine,” I say. The tiny whisper is all I can manage. Being this close to him has my mind deadening and my body coming alive.
“I’ll be the one to decide that.”
My lips purse. “You don’t own me.”
“Not yet.”
“You shouldn’t talk to me like that.”
“Well, get used to it.”
He returns to the column of my throat, stroking it slowly but deliberately. An unspoken message passes from him to me in that tiny caress. This man could kill me. But the reverence in his touch is what keeps me from running.
To be cradled in the hands of a demon is unsettling. And thrilling.
“I told you, I’m fine,” I say, hardening my tone.
“I believe you’ll live, little raptor.”
His words send a shiver through me. I know the second he feels my body’s involuntary movement. The barest smirk plays about his lips. The sensual expression makes me want to moan. And then punch him in the face.
“I have so many questions,” I say. “Not just about Ben, but about that night.” My confession fills the space between us. I take a deep breath as if I can pull it back into my body where it’s safe from him. Xavier keeps stealing it from me.
The skin around his jaw tightens, but the sly expression remains. “Not tonight.”
“When?”
His fingers, still lingering on my neck, tighten their grip. “When it’s safe.”
The intensity of his answer resonates somewhere deep. It’s a cryptic promise, laden with the weight of secrets that I’m not yet privy to. Not yet.
“I just want to understand,” I say. “Don’t you get that?”
“I’m very familiar with wanting something I can’t have.”
My breath catches at the raw yearning in his voice, the hunger that ignites something inside me. The irrational allure that surrounds him snakes around me, coiling and unmovable. Leaving me helpless.
Xavier lifts his hand to brush a tendril of hair away from my cheek, tucking the errant strand behind my ear. Our eyes stay locked as he lightly grips my jaw and strokes my bottom lip.
“A predator should never desire its prey.”
“I’m not prey.” My voice betrays me with the smallest warble. Is the tremor from fear? Or fascination? “And you’re not just any predator.”
Xavier smiles. It’s wistful, pricking my heart, making it bleed the tiniest bit for him. What has he gone through to think this way?
And what’s wrong with me for being drawn to him?
“Are you going to get off of me now?” he asks.
My cheeks blaze with embarrassment. I look down at our bodies, flush with one another and our legs entwined. I’ve been laying on this man like a pillow-top mattress. Except he was hard.
Everywhere.
I scramble to my feet and wrap my arms around my middle to fortify myself. And create a barrier between us. The awkwardness that prickles my skin quickly removes all thoughts of attraction.
“Sorry,” I mumble, unable to meet his gaze.
Xavier gets to his feet in one fluid motion that has my eyes widening. He has control over his body in a way that most people don’t. It’s the reason he was able to save me from getting run over, while also landing with me on top to cushion my fall.
“No need to apologize.” He pulls his black hood over his head, his gray eyes gleaming at me from underneath. “It’s not every day a beautiful woman sexually assaults me.”
I look at him, not bothering to hide my appreciation of his physical appearance. “I doubt that.”
He shrugs. “It’s never the one I want. Until tonight.”
I open my mouth to say something sarcastic, or possibly stupid, but he juts out his chin in a silent command. “Go straight to your dorm. I’ll know if you don’t listen to me.”
His authoritative response has me flipping him off. He laughs at my act of rebellion. The sound is like melted caramel, sinking into my stomach and making me jittery.
“What about Ben?” I ask. “I need to speak to?—”
Xavier shakes his head. “Good night, little raptor.”
He turns his back to me and walks into the darkness, blending in with the shadows. The only reason I know he’s there is the sound of his footsteps. They gradually fade, taking my answers with them.