Chapter 39
Earlier that evening…
It takesall morning and most of the afternoon to convince Raven that I’m not in a relationship with Xavier. At least, not the traditional one. I might be his bride, but that’s far removed from being a girlfriend.
He’d be nice to a girlfriend. If he ever decided to date. Maybe.
Right now, he’s an asshole who’s making threats and demands, which pisses me off more than I care to admit. What I hate more is the thrill that zips along my skin every time I think about him touching me.
After hanging out with my roommate and June all day, under Declan’s watchful eye, I grab something for dinner and head back to the dorm room. It’s quiet without Raven, but she’s busy with her poetry club. Or plans for world domination, knowing her.
Considering Xavier’s fierce demand for Declan to watch over me, I’m surprised he didn’t haul me back to the fraternity. Maybe he wanted some alone time with June. He hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of her to actually watch me. Not that I mind. A night alone without the Order or its minions is nice.
As the sun sets, I sprawl out on my bed with my stomach full, my body sore from last night’s activities. I’m tempted to crawl underneath the blanket and go to sleep although it’s only eight, but a knock on the door has me on my feet. I was under the impression that Xavier would be gone longer than that. So why do I feel nervous and jittery at the idea of him returning so soon?
I open the door and a wave of disappointment washes over me when it’s not Xavier. That emotion is quickly replaced with pain and anger, making my chest tight and my face warm. I fold my arms as if to shield myself from the emotions churning inside me.
“What are you doing here, Ben?”
“I need to talk to you.”
I glare at him. “I texted you for weeks, and nothing. Not even a fucking thumbs up. Now you want to talk?”
He flinches. “Please, Lilah. I’ll explain everything.”
“Go ahead.”
“Not here.” He looks up and down the hallway and shakes his head. “Let’s take a walk.”
I study him, taking in his shoulders slumping and how his eyes are filled with regret. My heart cracks a little in my chest. This is Ben, my only family besides the girls and Gloria. But they’re not here, and he is.
“Fine.” I step out of the room and shut the door behind me. “But the minute I feel like you’re hiding shit from me, I’m leaving.”
He sighs. “I understand. Come on.”
Ben guides me outside and into the cool evening air. We walk side by side, the muted sounds of our footsteps the only disturbance in the otherwise silent night. The university, usually bustling and vibrant during the day, feels abandoned now, its buildings standing like silent guardians over the empty walkways.
The path itself winds through the campus, leading us away from the main sections and into the more secluded areas where tall oaks and maples stand. Their leaves whisper above us, a hushed conversation that seems to foretell the one we’re about to have. Here, removed from the rest of the world, everything feels more intimate, as if it’s just Ben and me.
The way things were before I met Xavier.
Ben leans against the trunk of a large oak and faces me, arms crossed. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“How about starting with the reason you never responded to my text messages? It’d better be a good one too.”
“Before I answer you, I need you to promise me something.” His gaze, so familiar and warm, is now cold and distant. “You can’t tell anyone what I’m about to say. If you do, it’ll put you in danger. Actually, just me telling you is enough to fuck us both.”
I purse my lips. “Is it because of the cult you’re in?”
“It’s not a cult. The Obsidian Order is a secret society. By revealing its secrets, I’m breaking my vow of silence.” Ben averts his gaze and blows out a breath. “It’s punishable by death.”
“Maybe I don’t want to know.”
That’s a lie. I want to know everything.
Regardless of what Ben thinks, I already believe the Order is a looming threat over my life. The second I found out about their power and reach into society, I knew I couldn’t run from them. The only choice left is to learn about them and find a way to survive the duration of my contract.
I won”t let myself speculate about what’ll happen afterwards.
“I trust you,” Ben says. “I always have, and I always will.”
“I’m not going to say anything to anyone. I just want to understand what I’m dealing with.”
“It’s an assassin’s guild, Lilah.”
My mouth falls open and no words come out. I gape at him for several seconds before snapping my jaw closed, hard enough for my teeth to click together. “Like as in… killing people?”
Ben gives me a wry smile. “Is there a different type of assassin?”
“No, but… Seriously?” When he nods, I blink several times, trying to wrap my mind around this. “Well, fuck me sideways. This is worse than I thought.”
“What did you think was happening?”
I throw up my hands. “I don’t know. After the bride ceremony, I thought you guys were a group of demented perverts, but I never thought you murdered people. That’s just…”
“It’s insane. I’m aware.”
“Have you ever… you know?”
Ben’s expression turns stony. “Yes. I’ve been summoned by the Order.”
“Is that what a ‘summons’ means?”
“Yes.”
“So right now Xavier is?—”
I slap a hand over my mouth. Whatever I say about Xavier also applies to Ben, and I don’t want to hurt him with my judgmental thoughts. And they’re judgy as fuck. Given the way his mouth pulls into a frown, I don’t think I’m successful in hiding the fact.
“Yes, he’s on assignment somewhere,” Ben says. “We’re discouraged from contacting anyone during that time. That’s why I didn’t text you. I swear the Order tracks our phones and reads our messages, and I didn’t want to put you at risk.”
“How did you get caught in this shit?”
“I’m the bastard son of a founding family member,” he says. “Apparently, my mother didn’t want me, but she didn’t want my father to have me either. She thought it would hurt his legacy if he couldn’t find me. It’s hard to say because they’re both dead. Who knows why the rich do anything, unless it’s to gain more power?”
“The rich include you now.”
“Don’t say that,” he snaps. “I’m still the same person. I won’t let them change me.”
I don’t have the heart to point out that they already have. The Ben I know only talked about killing someone, but never would’ve done it. Now, he’s taken a life—or more than one—and he’s able to tell me without hesitation.
I walk up to Ben and place a tentative hand on his forearm. “I’m sorry.”
He covers my hand with his. “It’s not your fault. Sometimes I think you’re in this mess because of me. Maybe if we hadn’t grown up together, the Order wouldn’t have targeted you.”
“My contract?”
“It’s legit, but the reason behind it is bullshit. From what I understand, they choose brides who have no money to fight the Order, and no family to miss them if they were to disappear.”
I jerk back my hand as if he burned me. “Oh.”
Ben reaches for me, grabbing my arms, keeping me still. His gaze searches mine, pleading for understanding. Something I don”t know if I can give.
His grip tightens slightly, his fingers pressing into my skin with a mix of urgency and desperation. “That’s not how I see you. You’re the most important person in my life, Lilah.”
He releases one of my arms to brush a stray lock of hair from my face, his touch gentle yet heavy with unspoken remorse. I wait for his touch to ignite the spark Xavier’s does. It doesn’t come. I’m not willing to admit that he was right about Ben’s feelings toward me, but I know for certain that I don’t reciprocate them.
“I know and I care about you too,” I say. “You’re my family.”
I step back with a small smile, my stomach twisting at the hurt expression that flits across Ben’s face. He lets his arms fall to his sides, a sigh of defeat leaving his chest.
“Family,” he repeats in a whisper.
“The Order is wrong. If anything happens to me, I know you’ll miss me.”
“Don’t say that!” His voice echoes in the air, ricocheting off the trees. “I won’t let anything happen to you, before or after your contract is up.”
I shrug with a nonchalance I don’t feel. “I’m sure everything will be fine.”
He gazes at me like I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have. Finding out that there’s a group of killers running around on campus kind of fucks with your brain. Especially when one of the recruits eats out your pussy like it’s his last meal.
Fucking Xavier.