Vigilante
Maximo
1 YEAR AGO
“What are you talking about?” I shout at the doctor. I’ve been standing here for the past fifteen minutes listening to her tell me the same bullshit protocol that I’ve had to hear every single time I step foot in the hospital.
“Sir, please, I need you to?—”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. “If the next words out of your mouth are ‘calm down,’ I’m going to lose my ever-loving shit.” Focusing back on her, the solemn look on her face fills me with instant regret at my previous outburst. It’s not her fault, fuck. It’s none of the medical workers’ fault that they spend their time saving people in Summerfield Hospital. “Look, I’m sorry, please just…” I pause briefly, swallowing the emotion back down. “Just tell me what I can do?”
The space between her eyebrows creases, not in irritation at repeating herself but more in sadness. “.” I already know exactly what she’s going to tell me without her even having to say it. “You know the only options here: you make another call, or we make your father as comfortable as we can. I wish there was?—”
“Yeah,” I nod, resting my hands on my hips, my head dropping forward in defeat as I fight the constant need to cry from rearing its ugly head. “I know.” Brushing against my nose with the back of my hand, I clear my throat. “I’ll make the call.”
Taking a step closer, she places her hand gently on my shoulder, but I feel nothing. “I’ll make the call, too. Maybe something will change in the next hour, okay?”
I don’t respond. There’s nothing to say right now, at least nothing I can think of. All I want to do, no, need to do, is go back into the hospital room and sit with my father. Doctor Forsyth presses her lips together, and the slight curve at the corner of her mouth barely reaches her eyes. She steps away from me and down the stark white corridor, disappearing around the corner.
How many more times do I have to kid myself into thinking that this time will be any different from the multitude of times I’ve called the medical insurance company, Copperfield Vitality.
It doesn’t matter to them that my father has been lying in a hospital bed dying of cancer. They don’t give a shit that they’re charging prices that most—if not all—people in Chicago can’t afford because, in the end, all that matters to them is money. I hear my father coughing behind me, so I take a deep breath and clear my mind of everything. There’s no way I’m going to have him see me like this.
As I make my way back into the room, I watch my mother place the red and white straw in his mouth so he can comfortably sip the room-temperature water from the Styrofoam cup. They have been in love since they were kids, and I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a love come close to theirs, and it’s beautiful to see.
“Mio figlio.” My father beckons me over. “Sit, please.”
Even though cancer has taken over most of his body, turning him into someone I barely recognize, his voice remains deep and commanding. Lifting his hand, he beckons me over to sit beside him. The memories I have with this man will forever be ingrained within me until the day I take my last breath.
Hard-working, strong, and one of the kindest men I had the pleasure to know. A powerful man who stood up for those who couldn’t stand up for themselves, and the type of father who was always present, always kind, and made sure that my mother and I always knew how important we were to him.
“La mia anima gemelli.”
My soulmate, he calls my mother.
“Why don’t you,” he pauses to take a breath, “go grab us both a coffee,” another breath, “and give me some time with my son.”
Giving him a gentle nod, she leans forward and places a soft kiss upon my father’s brow. “I’ll be back in five minutes.” She explains, looking at me, her eyes filled with absolute sorrow, and it breaks me from the inside out. I couldn’t have asked for two better parents to raise me. Now, one of them will be left alone and without the love of their life. It fucking guts me.
Once my mother walks out of the room, he takes my hand in both of his, and I look up at him. “You have to take care of her for me, ok?—”
“Dad, please, I really don’t want to have this conversation now.”
“Well, that’s tough,” he barks, causing him to have a brief coughing fit again. Fuck, when the cancer spread to his lungs, we knew there was no way he was going to survive this. It doesn’t matter how much money you have—and we don’t have a lot—it’s never enough to keep the ones you love safe from illness or worse…death.
This has been a long time coming, and with the insurance company refusing to front the cost of my father’s medication, we’re at a dead end. And it’s not just my family. The company has been denying so many claims and medical expenses that people are fucking struggling, dying left and right, and not a single person gives a shit.
I wrap my other hand on top of my father’s, resting my mouth against the back of his hand, and close my eyes. Fuck, is this really it? Am I going to lose the man who made me who I am today? Who pushed me to study at the best schools, and worked day in and day out to have the money to provide me with the best education. Wasted his fucking life…on me.
“Don’t do that to yourself, bambino .”
“Do what?” I sigh, knowing exactly what he means.
“Hate yourself for what is about to happen.”
I look up at him, holding onto him as tightly as I possibly can. If this is all the time I have left with him, I’ll make sure he knows exactly how much I love him. “The insurance company is refusing to pay for the rest of your treatment.”
“I see.” He nods.
“I see?” I sit straighter. “That’s all you have to say?”
“What exactly do you expect me to say?” He questions, “I don’t have the lung capacity for it anyway.” He chuckles briefly.
The painful reality hitting me again. “Don’t do that,” I murmur.
“Son,” the breathing tube that rests under his nose lifts as he smiles softly. “You are, other than your mother, the greatest gift.” He begins, and all I do is sigh. “You will listen to this.” His voice turns stern. “I don’t have much time left…and I am…still…your father.” Taking another deep breath, he continues. “Take care of your mother, finish your education, and always remember… ti amo .”
“ Ti amo, pop,” I repeat back to him. My eyes are burning from the deep-rooted sadness within me, clawing away at the fact that soon enough, my father will be dead, and I will be without a man that I hold in such high regard. A man and father who was everything one should be.
My mother walks back into the room, planting both coffees on the bedside table. I watch as my father turns his head to face her.
“ Mio cara …have I…told you today…how beautiful…you look?”
My mother rolls her eyes. “Even with everything happening, you still find the time to lie, but I love you…so at least there’s that.”
“I love you…too.” He replies faintly.
And that’s when I hear it, the screaming of the alarm as my father goes into cardiac arrest. Nurses rush into the room, and I move from the chair to give them space, taking my mother in my arms as she begins sobbing.
“No! Gio!” My mother cries out in devastation. “Stay with me, please!”
“We have a cardiac arrest, page Doctor Cooper and Doctor Forsyth.” The blonde nurse speaks to the other as they lower the bed flat. My mother’s screams permeate the room as they work on bringing my father back. And as I hold her, I offer a silent promise to both of them… the actions of the uncaring will be rectified.