Vulfu (Primal #2)
Chapter 1
July, 1973
“... N
o, don’t! Stop!” Kate’s voice faded away while I watched in horror as Jen disappeared around the bend of the river, with Lisa close behind. I really had no intention of following, but before I knew it, my blue kayak was caught up in the current and being swept downstream. I’m sure it looked like I was stupidly pursuing the two hard-headed girls in our group like some sort of daredevil, but in reality, it was way beyond my control. I had zero strength against the current, the powerful waves moving me like that little ball in a pinball machine at the arcade.
My heart hammered in my ribcage. Freezing water splashed my face as I found myself viciously ripped around the bend in the river. Furiously, I wiped away the droplets from my overlarge lenses and gaped in absolute horror at the sight before me…
The river looked like the inside of my mother’s washing machine, as when I was younger, I’d open the top to peer inside while the clothes swirled around. Only here, the white water splashed every which way through a maze of large rocks and drops, promising pain and danger. However, by some miracle, my kayak sleuthed through the openings like a snake, the water carrying me away through the chaos. I felt like I was cheating death. I hoped my luck would hold out just a little longer…
But the moment I spun around three hundred and sixty degrees, that wish quickly vanished when I looked ahead and caught sight of what was waiting for me. I’d been searching amongst the splashing water and rocks hoping to see some sign of Lisa’s green kayak, or Jen’s bright yellow one. Instead, all I saw at the end of this wild mess was the river just… disappearing. Ending so suddenly that I knew it could only mean one thing.
A drop-off.
I couldn’t even scream as I sped towards it like a bullet, my voice caught in my throat, the possibility of passing out from overwhelming terror vehement and unrelenting.
Holy shit… I’m about to die…
It felt like it was happening in slow motion. I came upon the edge, and for one heart-stopping moment, I could see enough to realize that this was nothing like the first fall I’d gone over yesterday. That one was a baby in comparison to this monster. It plummeted somewhere between seventy to eighty feet and at the bottom, the water churned and swirled angrily, the roar of the falls deafening.
Helplessly, I watched the tip of my kayak drop over the edge, carrying me with it. I couldn’t even scream. The sensation of my stomach flying up in my throat, the overwhelming awareness that these last few seconds were my last, had me completely immobile like I’d already become a corpse.
My kayak hit the water hard, actually submerging briefly, before it popped back up like a cork breaking free from a bottle, carrying me with it. I didn’t even have time to register that I was, in fact, still alive, before I found myself careening down another section of rapids that seemed even more precarious than the last one. I clung to my paddle with a vice-like grip, using it to guide myself away from as many stone death traps as possible. I gasped for air each time the icy water splashed on my face, my vision seriously impaired thanks to the scratches on my glasses from yesterday and the spray from the chaos. Ahead, I was approaching a fork in the river, and my mind whirled as I desperately fought to keep left.
Left… stay, left!
I battled against the water, but it was hardly an even fight. As I found myself swept right, from somewhere behind me, I heard Kate cry out, “ Stephanie! ”
“Kate!” I screamed, fighting like hell to look behind me in search of my friend, but I was too terrified to take my eyes off the treacherous path I’d been forced to take. “Kaaaate!”
But she never called back.
I thought I saw a flash of shining green some ways down the left fork before being carried in the wrong direction, which gave me hope that Lisa, at least, was safe. But it had been so brief, so quick, that I couldn’t be certain.
My kayak now began to rock violently, careening out of control as it bounced off one boulder after another. I tried again to wipe the water from my lenses, managing to make out the long, blue line of rough water I was spiraling down. Along the shoreline, on either side, were even more sharp stones, fallen trees, and eventually, what looked like an absolutely massive beaver dam, with piles of fallen logs arranged in a tangled mess, spreading nearly halfway across the river.
Grab a hold of a branch, Stephanie. Get something and pull yourself out of this chaos!
Gasping for air, soaking wet, and shivering from both the cold and brushing so close to death, I extended out my paddle, hoping to hook it on the entanglement of branches and trees, anything to save myself. The dam was coming up and as I closed in on the bend, I felt quite another feeling descend upon me at the sight that was fast coming into view.
At the base of the logs, branches, and rocks, the remains of a yellow kayak had bunched together, the pieces bumping against the bottom of the structure from the movement of the water. But amongst the rise of fallen trees, a body lay in a broken, bloody heap… Jen. Her arms were twisted in an unnatural backward position up over her head, her neck cricked to the side so sharply, I could see the jut of bone sticking out through her skin. There was also a particularly large chunk of wood protruding through part of her torso like she’d either fallen on it or had sailed through it as she was sent downstream on her boat.
The blood drained from my face, my body turning to stone, and a different sort of cold enveloped me as the river carried me past her and around the bend, leaving her behind. I didn’t have long to process before I was once again thrown into another section of rapids, this one, the boulders reaching at least twice the size of my body, like they’d fallen from the mountaintops, rolled down through the trees, all the way to their resting place here.
This time, my luck didn’t hold out, and soon I was thrown from my kayak, the only thing protecting me from the sharp, massive blocks of stone. I sank in the water for only a few seconds before buoyancy worked in my favor, and I shot up to break through the surface once more. My lifejacket helped keep my head up, but it didn’t stop me from flying repeatedly into anything and everything that the river hid from view beneath the surface.
It wasn’t long until my head struck something solid and unforgiving in the swirling waters, and I fell into darkness.
My short, pathetic little life was over… a life I never really got a chance to redeem. One I never got to actually live.
My sense of awareness was slowly bringing me back. I could hear the water, the roar replaced by the calm trickling of a slow-moving current. I shivered, despite the warmth from the sun on my back. I was soaking wet, my body aching in pain. The last time I remembered feeling like this was, well… not something I ever wanted to think about again. Especially now. As I sucked in lungful after lungful of air, I started laughing hysterically as the realization that I was actually still alive sunk in. I’d survived. I was here! I giggled louder, the sound carrying above as a faint echo.
As I started to relive the memory of what had just happened, I laughed harder and harder, each moment hitting me more strongly than the last… the rapids, the waterfall, my desperation to go the right way and failing, another set of rapids, Jen, being thrown from my kayak… all of it. It had all actually happened. And yet somehow, I had survived.
My mirth quickly shifted then, from one of jovial hilarity to a sort of broken cry, until I found that I was wailing. I sobbed and sobbed, the horror I’d just lived through settled like a weight, heavier with each passing second, on my shoulders. When I finally opened my eyes, I found myself lying on my back, halfway out of the water, staring up at the sky as the sun began to descend behind the hills on the opposite shore. But something was off. The sight was muddled, foggy, so blurred I thought I must have damaged my eyes in the river.
That’s when I realized…
I didn’t have my glasses. Instinctively, momentarily forgetting my tears, my hands desperately started to feel around, searching amongst the smooth river rocks for some sign of the champagne metal aviator frames. But I could find nothing.
Gingerly, I sat up, groaning in pain as I tried to peer around me, squinting hard to see. I’d been near-sighted almost all my life and heavily relied on my glasses to see far away. Without them, it was an insane blur, shapes blending together, only their colours vivid, and I could only make out what was about a foot or two in front of my face. Though my limbs were screaming in pain, I rolled onto my hands and knees, carefully crawling up out of the water while feeling around, searching desperately. If I was going to find my way out of this, then I needed to see! But the longer I went without any sign of them, the more helpless I felt. How the hell was I going to get anywhere if I couldn’t see properly?
“Please…” I whispered aloud, my voice quavering as I shivered, “Please, please, please !”
But there was nothing. Even when I crawled along the water’s edge, feeling around for the distinctive smooth frames, the large lenses, and the colour that would stand out against the grey stone, there was nothing but mud, pebbles, and algae. I even felt around the tangled mess of hair on my head, hoping they were caught in my wet locks, as I sometimes would push them up on my head when I was reading, but there was nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Wildly, I sat back on my knees, staring around, hoping to see a flash of blue, a sign that my kayak was near, but I could only make out the grey and white of the water, the fuzzy-looking grey bumps of rocks and boulders, and the green and brown of the forest on either side of the river. No backpack. No tent. No boat.
No friends! Except…
“Kate!” I screamed, remembering her call after I found myself being ripped down the wrong path. She’d been near. I felt hopeful as I cupped my hands around my mouth and hollered again, “KATE!”
I listened, straining to hear something over the soft, running water and the rustle of leaves from the trees at my back. But there was no call, no sign that she was anywhere nearby. I rose to my feet and stumbled along, heading up the river, stopping every so often to call again. I was certain I saw Lisa go in the other direction. That unique green of her kayak had been bright, standing out amongst the shrubbery and water like a lime. If she’d gone the right way, then Kate was the only other person I had to look for.
Jen…
I didn’t want to think about her. The sight of her twisted, broken body made me dry-heave over the rocks. Jen and I hadn’t been super close. In fact, she always reminded me of the girls from my high school who bullied me. But she was friends with Lisa and Kate, both of whom I liked immensely, so I just stayed quiet and let Jen run the show. It was easier that way. People like her thrived on being at the center of attention, and I was always more than happy to disappear into the background. But despite this, and her stupid decision to bring us the wrong way on purpose down the Three Hangman River , she wasn’t bad . Not like my bullies. She’s just a big personality.
Was . I cringe at the word. Was a big personality.
She was gone now.
I sniffled and wiped my nose with the wet sleeve of my shirt. While the other girls had dressed down in cute shorts and t-shirts, I opted for my usual baggy sweater and jeans, despite the heat. I wasn’t comfortable showing off my body. Not since my years at high school enduring the taunts and rumours. Not since the flagpole incident. And especially not with the scars…
But now, I suppose it didn’t matter anyway. I was alone here.
Pulling the soaking wool up over my head I squeezed the water out of it, ignoring the never-ending tears that slid down my cheeks and fell from my chin. My jeans were wet, too, and I had no idea how the heck I was going to make it through the night with only the wet clothes on my back. I set my sweater on a rock in the sun and stared around myself again, but my vision, or lack of it, could only pick up so much. All I could make out was that I was surrounded by the wilderness, trees, hills and all, and I had no idea how far I’d come. I had a sinking suspicion, given how calm the water was here, that I’d travelled farther north than I should have, and seeing as I went the wrong way, I had no idea if it would bring me to that lake at the end of our trip, or if I just was carried farther into the untouched part of the wild, and the thought of being here, blind and alone, sent a wave of panic through my veins.
I cupped my hands around my mouth and bellowed so loud I thought my vocal cords would tear, “KAAAAATE!”
But there was no return call.
Despairingly, I crouched on the ground, sitting on my haunches, my hands tangled in my thick, dark hair, eyes closed as I tried to focus on my breathing, but that feeling of helplessness was spurring something else inside of me. A spark of anger that I rarely ever felt suddenly erupted to life. Before I knew it, I’d lurched to my feet and grabbed at the first thing within reach, which just happened to be a massive rock the size of my head. I snatched it up, my scrawny arms shaking hard from the weight, and threw it, unleashing a long, wailing scream as it bounded only about a foot away and rolled with a crack off the others.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!” I cried to the heavens, before turning to find something else I could destroy. I stumbled over the uneven shoreline, grabbing weeds, sticks, and more large stones, and threw them any which way, into the water, the forest, I didn’t care. I just screamed and threw and screamed some more. By the time my fit was over, I was breathless, standing there in nothing but a pair of wet bell bottoms, my simple black cotton bra, with my dark brown hair damp around my shoulders and down my back, my large blue eyes staring off at… well, nothing.
Miss Stephanie Fields, the quiet, timid little mouse… Miss Unpopular Sad Girl 1973, had lost her mind. If only people could see me now.
Trembling hard, I raked my nails through my thick hair, shoving it back off my face, not realizing I’d been crying this whole time until I tried to find my sweater again, my tears blurring my vision further. I spotted the blurred pink, wool knit laying upon a boulder, not dry, but not sopping wet anymore, at least. I pulled it on, choosing to forget the fact that I just had a little breakdown back there. I’d had my tantrum, now I needed to pull myself together. I brought forth my inner-nerd and broke everything down.
I was lost.
I was soaking wet.
I couldn’t see.
I had no one with me.
No supplies.
No shelter.
And the sun was setting.
Yep… I was definitely going to die here.
Get a grip, Stephanie, I scolded myself, straightening up to look around. With the sun setting fast, I needed to find a way to survive the night so I could continue searching for Kate tomorrow. She couldn’t be that far away, could she? I mean, I know my kayak carried me a lot farther and faster than I expected, but how far did it take me, really? If she was in her kayak, too, and hadn’t been thrown, she could very well be only a couple hundred feet behind me. What if she was unconscious and that was why she didn’t respond when I called her? Oh my God… what if she seriously hurt? My thoughts raced as I pictured Jen, and the idea of that sort of death befalling sweet, kind Kate sent another tremor of despair through me. I needed to help her, to save her. Us!
Ugh! If only I could see!
As I stumbled along the shore, my progress was painfully slow. I walked with my hands extended in front of me, in case my foot should catch something and send me sprawling. With the sunlight fading fast over the western hills, I knew I was going to be a hot mess trying to find my way in the dark. But what else could I do?
I wasn’t as big an outdoorsman as the other girls. I’d just joined the hiking club because I wanted to try to push myself to meet people. I didn’t want a repeat of high school when I got to university. I wanted a fresh start. But I found myself struggling in the group, often falling behind, and not really connecting with anyone. I was actually close to giving up and quitting the club when Kate had befriended me. She’d been so sweet and kind that I stayed. But I lacked that survival instinct she naturally had. I would more often than not pick the wrong step, the wrong path, and select the wrong spot to pitch my tent. Most of the time, I was tripping, falling, or ending up with a broken shelter because I’d erect it in the middle of the gustiest channel in the trees.
Now that I was truly on my own, without any gear, friends, or even sight to help me, I felt such an overwhelming sense of my mortality at this moment that I ended up slumped on the forest floor, curled up in a ball, sobbing as the sun disappeared, leaving me in dusky twilight. I was doomed.
I don’t know how much time had passed before my tears dried up and I righted myself. I sat on the dirt and leaves, staring idly at the bushes along the edge of the forest, watching as the faint, blurred light of fireflies drifted in and out amongst the leaves. At least my resting place was one of peace and tranquility and one that beheld that natural beauty I’d grown to love about the outdoors. Even though I never became a true adventurous explorer, I did appreciate the awe and wild allure of Mother Nature. Even when I now heard the distant call of… what was that? An elk? A deer of some kind? I wasn’t sure, but it made me feel less alone.
However…
That strange call was coming closer, and now as I listened a little harder, focusing on it, I realized it was not one I recognized from the numerous trips I’d taken this past year. Deer didn’t sound like that, right? That understanding sent quite a different sort of shiver running down my spine.
WHOOP!
Okay, seriously now, what the heck was that?
I stared helplessly at the treeline, frozen where I sat, wishing I could make out more in the gathering shadows. It wasn’t a bear, I reassured myself again and again. Bears didn’t sound like that. So I was safe in that aspect. And mountain lions screamed and growled… this was more like something I’d hear off the nature program my dad used to watch every Friday night back home. National Geographic. It was sort of a tradition that my family would sit down and watch it together. I remember a few years ago when they covered Dian Fossey, a primatologist and conservationist who studied mountain gorillas…
Oh… my… God…
I was being hunted… by a freaking mountain gorilla!
Stephanie… you really can be so dumb, sometimes, I scolded myself. Gorillas don't live in North America. Not in the wild, anyway. So unless one escaped from a zoo and hightailed it into the Rocky Mountains and was searching me out because of my screaming fit, I had no clue what else this could be.
I scrambled back on my hands and feet until one dipped into the cold river. With a yelp, I withdrew it, shaking the droplets away as my hand went practically numb, the water an unbearable temperature now that the sun was gone.
WHOOP!
Okay, that was much too close for comfort. Heart racing, I scrambled over to the closest boulder within a couple of feet from me, and cowered behind it, trembling hard as the snapping of branches and heavy footsteps signalled that I was no longer alone. I was even afraid to breathe too loudly, but at the same time, I was so scared I was noisily gasping for air.
Whoop! Bip… bip!
My hands flew up to silence the shriek in my throat. Smothering myself, I waited, wondering what the hell this thing was! What sounded like that? And why was it prowling along the shoreline? I could hear it shuffling along, sniffing, branches and twigs snapping as it searched the shrubs for… well, probably me. I bet it thought I was some injured animal that had been screeching in pain and was here to take advantage of that.
It went quiet.
I waited, too afraid to even consider moving, but as each agonizingly long minute passed, I was desperate to know if I was alone or not. Had it given up and left? Sitting here on the freezing, wet rocks in the darkening night was unbearable, and the longer I stayed here, the more I shivered, my teeth clattering louder and louder. I thought perhaps it had gone and was in the middle of trying to think whether or not I was a complete idiot for even considering peering out from behind my hiding place, or if I was going to let myself freeze to death here at the river?