Wait For You

20. Adam

Tessa was warm and soft, and I wanted her curled by my side every night, which shocked me. When I thought about that night, now a whopping two weeks prior, and looked into her eyes, it was as if a door into my heart had opened. She walked through, and now she lived there.

I was falling in love with her. I had known her peripherally for as long as I could recall. Even though we hadn’t been close all those years, I trusted her completely.

The depth of my emotions floored me. I had honestly never expected sex to be anything beyond a purely physical exchange. I wouldn’t call it transactional in the driest sense of the word, but certainly not an emotional experience. There was a woman I’d seen off and on in Seattle over a period of years. I still considered her a good friend and cared about her, but that caring didn’t even come close to how I felt about Tessa.

With Tessa, I felt intensely protective. I wanted to slay all her dragons and protect her from anything and anyone who might hurt her. I knew she was strong, strong enough to leave an abusive relationship. I also understood she had to fight her own battles. I wanted to be there to catch her if she fell, to give her more strength if she needed it.

Her fingers traced a meandering path on my chest. I let my hand slide over her silky, soft curls. “When you said a little while, what does that mean?” I cleared my throat.

She lifted her head, her palm flattening on my chest before curling into a little fist where she rested her chin on it. I felt the motion of her shoulder when she shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, you can’t be here in the morning.” Her mouth twisted to the side. “Mom thing,” she added.

“I understand.”

I could feel her heartbeat against my rib cage. We were still naked, and she was lying half across me. She took a slow breath. “Like I said, if Rich were to find out, he would make things more difficult than they already are.”

“That’s a diplomatic way of putting it.”

“I don’t know how else to talk about it.”

“He was abusive. You can just say that.”

She blinked, her lashes falling. For a moment, I thought I had gone too far. When she opened her eyes again, there was a sheen of tears there. I let my hand slide down across her hair to curl around her waist and hold her closer.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” I whispered roughly into her hair.

When I leaned back, she blinked again. “It’s okay. I don’t often say it like that. Rich’s abuse was a secret I kept for years. I still sort of keep it. His parents don’t know. Lord knows what he’s said to them about me.” She chewed on her bottom lip.

“How bad was it?” I asked carefully. I was trying to manage the anger that surged through me and keep it in check.

She let out a little bitter laugh. “It was hell. He didn’t hit me often. Four times total. The verbal and emotional stuff was constant. He was angry and irritable. He threw things, he yelled, it was just impossible. There was no way to keep things peaceful. I felt crazy by the end. Totally crazy. And now…” She shrugged. “You saw me at Colin’s office. I just get so tired. Rich has filed modifications for custody repeatedly, like ten times, I think. The judge on the case is retiring. He’s a family friend of Rich’s parents, so it’s just made the whole thing worse. We have a new judge in Juneau, and Colin thinks it will help.”

“Ten times?” My muscles tightened, and I could feel Tessa tense instantly in response. I forced myself to take a slow breath.

“It’s okay,” she said quickly. I could hear the wish to soothe my tension away in her tone.

“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m upset on your behalf. He’s using the court system to keep making your life hell.”

I could feel an incremental amount of tension slip out of her when the tightness in her shoulders eased slightly. “He is. Colin says it’s an unfortunate tactic. I can handle it. It’s nothing like it was living with him.”

“Can I help?” I liked to fix things, to make them better. I liked things to make sense in life. That was why I loved numbers so much. Patterns and predictability were built into them.

She studied me before shaking her head. “I appreciate that you understand. It means more than you could imagine.”

“I have some understanding of what that was like for you,” I said quietly. The shadow of our grandfather and his harsh, abusive presence loomed large in our family.

“I know you do. I think more people than not understand what it’s like. The statistics on abusive relationships are a little shocking.”

I nodded as I considered my words. “I want you to know if you need help or are afraid, no matter what happens between us, all you have to do is ask. I’ll be there.”

Her eyes glimmered with tears. This time, it was me trying to soothe away feelings. “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” I said hurriedly.

She blinked quickly and shook her head. “You didn’t. It’s just I don’t talk about this much. It’s depressing. For me and for anyone else to hear about. It’s hard to explain how much it means to know that someone understands.”

She dipped her head and pressed a soft kiss in the divot at the base of my throat, the sensation a warm drop of sweet heat. When she lifted her head, she held my gaze for several beats. I experienced a visceral tug on my heart as if threads were being pulled tighter between us.

“What time are you going to leave?” she asked.

“We never did establish how long ‘a little while’ is,” I teased.

Her lips curled in a slow smile, and damn if that didn’t create this unfamiliar sense of fizzy joy in my heart.

“Eric usually wakes up early.”

“What time do you want me to leave?”

“When it’s still dark, but that feels like I’m asking a lot.” She bit her lip.

“Not at all. I’ve never been a great sleeper. I’ll probably drowse for a little bit and wake up sometime after midnight. I’ll leave then.”

“Will you wake me up?” she asked.

“Before I go?”

As she nodded, that unfamiliar sense of protectiveness settled more deeply inside. When she tucked her head into the curve of my neck, I thought I wouldn’t fall asleep, but it was easy. I was relaxed with her. When I woke a little while later, I was reluctant to rouse her. But she’d asked me to. At this point, I was starting to discover there wasn’t much I wouldn’t do for Tessa.

She was still draped partially over me, and I sifted my fingers through her hair, down along her back, and over the sweet, luscious curve of her bottom. She made this little sound in her throat and shimmied closer to me. I felt the soft give of her curves against me when she moved. When her knee brushed the side of my cock, it swelled. Fuck me.

“Tessa,” I whispered into the curve of her neck. Even her scent intoxicated me. She smelled a little sweet and salty.

She mumbled something and lifted her head, blinking her sleepy eyes open. Her throaty voice, roughened from sleep, only tightened the sharp claws of need. “Are you leaving?”

“I should.” Merely saying that deepened the sense of reluctance I felt.

She surprised me when she shifted and rose to straddle me. My hands fell to her hips when she rocked, sliding her slippery core over the underside of my cock. I could feel cum dripping from the tip onto my abdomen.

“Tessa,” I warned.

“Just before you go,” she whispered.

I swallowed, scrambling for control. “Sweetheart, just so you know, I don’t think I could ever say no to you.”

She bit her lip and rocked her hips again. There was no fucking way I could’ve stopped her. She lifted her hips and reached between us. On the heels of a breath, I curled my palm around my cock, positioned myself at her entrance, and filled her in a swift surge as she sheathed me.

It was fast. She rocked with me, her body tightening within seconds before she began trembling as she rasped my name. My orgasm was beyond intense, shaking me to my very bones.

Moments later, we still trembled. She pressed a palm on my chest and looked down at me. “Thank you for coming over tonight.”

“When can I see you again?”