Chapter Sixteen
chapter sixteen
NATE
“She’s pregnant?” Dustin says over the phone. “Holy shit!”
“What are you going to do?” Carmine asks, a helluva lot calmer than Dustin.
“I don’t know. I’ve only just found out. We’re going to dinner tonight to talk.”
I considered keeping the news to myself, but my brothers are my best friends, and I needed to tell someone. This is huge. The woman who I could see a future with is pregnant with my baby. So, the second I got back to the hotel—after letting Nolan know I’ll be staying here until further notice and he’s to handle things in Dallas—I conference called them so I could share the news with them at the same time.
“Well, shit,” Carmine says with a chuckle. “You went there to get a woman and ended up getting an entire damn family. Mom and Dad are going to be thrilled to learn they’re going to be grandparents again.”
Fuck…our parents .
“You can’t say anything to them,” I say. “You know how Mom is. She’ll be begging to meet Paige, and right now, shit is complicated.”
“Yeah, well, I suggest you un complicate shit,” Dustin says, never beating around the bush, “because in less than six months, you’re going to be a dad, and the mother of your baby lives four hours away and didn’t want to keep in touch with you, let alone raise a baby with you.”
I release a harsh breath, knowing he’s not wrong. And my mind goes back to my ex. She cheated on me because I hadn’t given her enough attention. She strayed because I had been neglecting her. And yet we lived together in the same city, in the same house. How the hell am I supposed to make this work with Paige when we’re living hours apart?
“We’ll figure it out,” I tell him, refusing to compare Paige to my ex. “But in the meantime, I’m going to be staying here for a while. Nolan’s already been informed that he’ll be my eyes and ears in Dallas. All meetings will need to be online for the foreseeable future. I already planned to be here for a few weeks, but now, with this new information, I have a feeling my trip is going to be extended because there’s no way I’m leaving without Paige and me figuring out how this is going to work between us. It’s no longer just us we need to consider, but our baby too.
“Fuck, we’re about to have a baby.”
Dustin and Carmine both bust out a laugh, and without waiting for either of them to say something that I’m sure will piss me off, I hang up.
At six o’clock on the dot, I pull up to Paige’s house. It’s smaller than a lot of the homes in the neighborhood, but no less cared for. Remembering that when Paige and I were spending time together in London, she told me it was the first home she ever purchased—and that she did it on her own—has me smiling, proud of her. It’s clear she works hard for everything she has, and to be the CMO of a multibillion-dollar company like Kingston is huge.
If I had to guess, that piece-of-shit ex of hers was jealous. He didn’t like the fact that she probably made more money than he did, and instead of supporting her, he put his career rather than their relationship first.
“Are you going to stand out there all night or knock on my door?” Paige calls out, making me laugh because I was standing at the end of her sidewalk, lost in my thoughts.
“Sorry,” I say, giving her my attention.
Unlike the professional attire she was wearing earlier today, she’s dressed in a flowy red-and-white polka-dot wraparound dress, showing off the swells of her breasts. Her hair is down in waves, and her lips are glossy.
My gaze descends to her toned, tanned thighs and calves and land on her black heels.
She looks fucking stunning, and I have no idea how I’m going to get through an entire dinner without touching or kissing her…or sneaking off to the bathroom and fucking her.
You need to take things slow , I remind myself. Just because you’re ready to hit the pavement running doesn’t mean Paige is.
“My eyes are up here.” Paige says it in a serious tone, but her eyes are filled with mirth.
“I can’t help it,” I say, extending my hand with the flowers I picked up on my way here. “You look gorgeous.”
Blush tints her cheeks, and I can’t help but smile, loving that I still affect her.
“Thank you.”
She takes the bouquet from me and brings them up to her nose to inhale the scent. Since they’re already in a vase, she sets them on the foyer table without inviting me in, and then we head out in my rental to the restaurant where I made a reservation.
I’m not familiar with the area, but after doing some research, I found a small Italian restaurant with good reviews. Not wanting to be disturbed, I booked us a private booth.
The drive to the restaurant is filled with small talk, neither of us mentioning the baby. Paige tells me about work and how everyone is buzzing with excitement about the partnership, and I fill her in on what I’ve been up to since I got back from London. It feels natural, light, similar to the way it felt in London. Like, even though we barely know each other, we’re comfortable with one another.
I’m hoping the vibe continues once we sit down for dinner, but the second the waiter walks away after dropping off our drinks, Paige gets straight down to business.
“I know my being pregnant is a shock to you,” she begins after taking a sip of her water, “but I want you to know that you have options.”
“Options?”
She can’t possibly be talking about what I think she is.
“Yes,” she says, straightening herself like she’s in a business meeting instead of discussing something as intimate as her having my baby. “If you don’t want to be a dad, I won’t force you to be one. I know firsthand what happens when a man is forced, and that’s the last thing I want for my baby.”
Her hand goes protectively to her stomach, and before I can respond, she continues, “When I was fourteen, right before my mom chose to stop her chemo treatments, I found out that my dad never wanted me.” She says it so matter-of-factly, like it’s a speech she rehearsed. “Apparently, Mom always wanted to be a mom, so my dad gave in to what she wanted. After she died, he barely spoke a single word to me.”
She swallows thickly—the first emotion she’s shown since she started talking. “He moved us from place to place, and then one day, he found another woman and started a new family with her…one he actually wanted.”
Up until now, she was doing a good job at holding in her emotions, but when her voice cracks on the last few words, I know she’s more affected by what her dad did than she wants me to believe.
“Paige,” I say, in shock at the turn of events because this isn’t at all how I saw this conversation going.
“Please,” she pleads, “let me get this out. That’s why we’re here—to discuss the baby—and you should know where I stand before you make a decision.”
I sigh in frustration but nod for her to continue. I hate what’s coming out of her mouth, but maybe I need to hear it all so I know where she’s coming from, and then I can assure her that I’m nothing like her dad.
“I only saw my dad a couple of times after I left home, and then, after college, I moved to London, hoping to be closer to my mom. I wanted to feel that magic,” she says, smiling sadly. “But as you know, I couldn’t feel it. I felt like I was alone in this world. My mom had given up, my dad didn’t want me, and John didn’t want to settle down.”
At the mention of her ex, my jaw clenches, but I keep my mouth shut, letting her get this all out.
“I’ve watched my friends fall in love and start families, and I wanted that,” she admits with a watery smile that does shit to my insides because how this woman doesn’t see what I see blows my mind and fuck everyone who made her feel like this .
“All I wanted was to be enough.” She sniffles back a sob, and it takes everything in me not to move to the other side of the table and pull her into my arms. “To be enough for my mom to want to live. For my dad to want to be my dad. For John, who I gave my heart to, and in return, he cheated on me.”
She bursts out with a humorless laugh, and it shatters my heart because while I knew what John had done fucked with her head and heart, I didn’t know how deep her insecurities ran.
“I’ve never been enough,” she says with a shake of her head, “and now, I’m pregnant.”
She takes a sip of her water, her hand trembling, and then places it back down. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot the waiter heading over to take our order, so I shake my head, silently letting him know not yet. With a quick nod, he lets me know he understands and walks in the opposite direction.
“This isn’t how it was supposed to happen,” Paige whispers. “It was supposed to be magical. We were supposed to fall in love and get married, create a home together and then have a baby. I was supposed to be someone’s enough. But now, everything’s forced. Just like my mom forced me on my dad, this baby is being forced on you.”
Holy shit. I’d think she was playing a horrible joke on me if I didn’t know how damn serious she was right now.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything Paige has dropped on me when she adds more to the mix.
“And then there’s the issue that you don’t live here, and I can’t—no,” she corrects, “I won’t move to wherever you live because I’ve had to move so many times, and there’s no way I’m giving up everything for someone else again. I have a job I love, a house that’s mine. I have friends who care about me. And for the first time, I’m making myself a priority.”
Her beautiful emerald eyes well up with tears, and I realize, in this moment, that I didn’t come prepared for tonight. I was so lost in my own head, excited to be in the same city as Paige, shocked—in the best way—that she’s pregnant with my baby, that I thought we’d, what…pick up right where we’d left off? Fuck, I was so stupid. I’m a businessman, I know better than to think with my emotions, but with Paige, it was just so easy to turn it all off and let my heart guide me.
“I’m glad you found me,” she says softly, her glassy eyes meeting mine, “because I felt so guilty when I wasn’t able to tell you about the baby. But I need you to know that you are not obligated to be in this baby’s life, and I’d rather you walk away now than hurt him or her later on. I don’t want or need anything from you, and if you decide to sign over your rights, I promise this will stay between us. As you mentioned, you prefer your life to be private, and a baby scandal wouldn’t be good for your reputation.”
When she releases a harsh breath and her shoulders sag and she doesn’t attempt to speak again, I know she’s done. And that’s good because after all that, I have a few things I need to say as well.
“First of all,” I begin, forcing myself to remain calm, “your dad and John and anybody else who didn’t think you were enough, who didn’t make you a priority, are goddamn fools because you and this baby are more than enough. You deserve to be someone’s priority, and I have every intention of making you mine.”
She opens her mouth to say something—probably argue—but she had her time to speak, and now, it’s mine.
“You are everything I’ve ever wanted,” I continue without letting her cut in, “and that was before I found out that you were carrying my baby. Hell, when we were in London, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t fantasize about not pulling out and filling you with my seed on more than one occasion.”
Her cheeks turn the most beautiful shade of pink, and I shrug because it’s the damn truth. Too many times when we were together, I wondered what it would be like to make her mine, to fill her with my babies, and to live a life with her by my side. I just didn’t think it was actually a possibility.
“And while I hate that John cheated on you because you deserve way better than that, selfishly, I’m glad he showed his true colors when he did because it’s what led you to me.”
“I think it was me tripping over the cobblestone and nearly getting run over that led me to you…but yeah,” she mutters, making me laugh.
“That too,” I agree. “But regardless, their loss is my gain.”
“But what are you gaining?” she asks. “We live…where do you live?”
“In Dallas.”
“Great,” she chokes out, fresh tears filling her eyes and spilling over. “We live four hours away from each other, and I’m pregnant.”
Having enough of not being able to hold her, I round the table and sit in the chair next to her, pulling her into my arms. Thankfully, she comes willingly.
“Don’t cry,” I murmur into her hair, holding her tightly as she sobs into my chest. “We’ll figure it out, but the one thing you need to know is that I want this baby very much. I’ve always wanted to be a dad, and I can’t think of a better mother for our child than you.”
Paige cries for a few minutes, and once she’s calmed down, she sits up and excuses herself to the restroom to freshen up. While she does that, I move back to my seat and let the waiter know we’ll order once she returns, in case she doesn’t want to stay. But when she comes back, she tells me she’s starved, so we order.
Once the waiter is gone, Paige takes a piece of bread from the basket and, after taking a bite, grins. “I can’t believe you haven’t bolted yet,” she says with a small laugh.
It’s meant as a joke, but I answer her seriously, “ There’s nowhere I’d rather be. Hell, I couldn’t even make it two months of respecting your wishes before I was seeking you out.”
She huffs a laugh and nods. “So, what now? I mean, you’re here, but it doesn’t change the fact that you live hundreds of miles away, and then there’s?—”
“Breathe,” I say, hating that she keeps working herself up. “Stress can’t be good for you or the baby. We’ll figure it all out. Now, you tell me about your pregnancy. I’ve already missed the first…four months?” I guess.
“I’m sixteen weeks,” she confirms. “I actually went to my appointment this morning. That’s why I was running late for our meeting.”
She reaches into her purse and pulls something out. When she hands it to me, I recognize it as a sonogram picture. I stare at it for several seconds, letting it soak in. I’m going to be a dad, and Paige, the woman I fell in love with in London, is going to be a mom.
“That’s from my three-month appointment,” she says. “I’m due in November, and I get to see her…or him at my next appointment.”
“You think it’s a girl?” I ask, glancing up from the picture.
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I don’t really care one way or another, but when I found out, all I could think about was how close I was with my mom when she was alive and how excited she would be. I wouldn’t mind a little girl who I could go on adventures with. ”
“I hope she has your green eyes and your big heart,” I admit, handing the image back to her.
“You can keep it,” she says. “I have others.”
“Thank you. If it’s okay, I’d like to go to the next appointment with you.”
“Or I can video it for you,” she offers, confusing me until she adds, “Seems like a waste of a trip to fly all the way here to go to an appointment.”
“I’ll already be here,” I remind her, which makes her brow furrow.
“I doubt it’s going to take a month to finalize the details of the partnership with Kingston.”
She’s right—it won’t, especially since most of the major details have already been handled. Kingston doesn’t fuck around. But I’m not going anywhere. Wherever she and our baby are is where I’ll be.
“I’ll be here,” I say simply.
Then, because I don’t want her to ask questions that I don’t have the answers to—like what am I going to do about the company I run in Dallas—I change the subject.
“How has the pregnancy been so far?”
I remember Carmine’s wife, Penny, talking about cravings and hormones and all types of things when she was pregnant with my niece and nephew.
“It’s been good,” she says, perking up. “The morning sickness, as you witnessed, has been rough, but it’s slowing down. Most women stop getting nauseous by twelve weeks, but not me.” She glances down and rubs her belly lovingly. “I read that the sicker you are, the stronger the pregnancy, so I keep reminding myself of that every time I upchuck my breakfast.”
I snort a laugh. “And cravings?” I ask as the waiter sets down our salads.
“Oh my God,” she says, her eyes bright, “so many. For starters…” She stabs her fork into her salad and shows me the pickles she asked for in her salad. “Pickles. It’s so cliché, but I’m addicted. Chocolate-dipped pickles, sweet pickles, spicy pickles. The other night, I was dipping pickles into my Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream.” She groans as she brings her fork to her mouth. “Pickles are just so good.”
We spend the rest of dinner keeping the topics at surface level, and the more we talk, the more I’m reminded of our time together. Paige is sweet and funny and so damn smart. When I tell her about an issue I’m having with one of our vendors, she gives me a perspective I didn’t consider, and I mentally note to email Dustin when I get back to my hotel.
“Thank you for dinner,” Paige says when I walk her to her door. “It was delicious.”
“As good as your pickle ice cream?” I joke.
“Umm, no,” she says with a laugh. “Nothing is better than Phish Food and pickles.”
We both go quiet, unsure where we go from here. So much was said, yet nothing has been resolved.
“Can I see you tomorrow night?” I ask .
I was hoping she might invite me in, but she yawned a few times on the drive to her house, so I imagine she’s exhausted and she’ll want to shower and get some rest.
“Sure,” she says. “Just call or text, and we’ll figure something out.”
She’s about to open her door, but before she does, I lean in and press my lips against her cheek. Her skin is soft, and her scent is sweet, and all I want is to lift her into my arms and carry her into her house so I can spend the night holding her. But I don’t think she’s ready for that, so instead, I tell her good night and wait until she’s inside and she’s locked the door before I go to my car.
Then, I do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I drive away from the woman I’m in love with while I try to figure out how I can make her mine.
Dad
Why did I overhear Dustin say that you got a woman pregnant?
Dustin
Dad knows. Sorry.
Carmine
Mom knows about Paige being pregnant.
Jesus, it only took less than a day for everyone in my family to find out. It shouldn’t surprise me though. With us working together and being a close-knit family, we rarely keep any secrets from each other.
Since there are three missed calls from my mom, I call her back.
“Nathan,” Mom says when she answers, “tell me it’s not true. Tell me you didn’t hook up with a woman and get her pregnant.”
“Mom,” I sigh.
But before I can finish whatever I’m about to say, the call abruptly ends, and a second later, she calls back, using FaceTime.
Damn it. I knew this was coming, which is why I wanted to tell her in person.
I click Accept, and the second her frowning face pops up, she says, “So, it’s true. You got a woman pregnant.”
“Yeah,” I admit. “But she wasn’t just a hookup. She’s the woman I’ve been talking about that I met in London. I love her.”
I haven’t said the words to Paige since the one time I told her I’d fallen in love with her and I was begging her not to walk away before we parted ways. But it’s the truth. I fell for her in England, and every day since, my feelings have only deepened. I thought maybe it was all in my head until she walked into the office and I knew what I felt was real. And that was before I knew she was carrying my baby.
“Okay,” Mom says slowly. “So, you found her? ”
It’s not a secret that I’ve been pining after the woman I met in London. Mom told me on more than one occasion to reach out if I thought she was the one.
“Yeah, she works for the company we’re doing business within Houston.”
“That’s why you’re there?” she says, connecting the dots.
“I came to handle the partnership so I could have an excuse to see her again, but I had no idea she was pregnant.”
“Cary,” Mom yells, “get in here. Our son apparently forgot all the sex ed we’d taught them and got a girl pregnant.”
“Jesus, Mom,” I groan. “It’s not like that.”
Once Dad joins her, I spend the next few minutes explaining Paige’s and my time together. Our chemistry. The way I knew she was the one, but she wasn’t having it because of the distance. When I’m done, Mom has hearts in her eyes because she’s a romantic and Dad’s brows are pinched together because even though he’s my dad, he’s also a businessman.
“So, what are you going to do?” Dad asks.
“Marry her, of course,” Mom answers. “Didn’t you hear him? He’s in love with her.”
“I’m going to spend some time here and figure it all out.”
“What is there to figure out?” Mom asks, confused.
“Honey,” Dad says, “she lives and works four hours away. ”
“So? Can’t she move here?” Mom questions. “She’s going to have his baby.”
To her, the decision is easy. She’s been a wife and a mom her entire life, and she’s content with that, so it’s hard for her to understand why Paige wouldn’t simply move to Dallas to be with me.
“She has a life in Rosemary. A home…a job she loves. Friends…”
“But you live here,” Mom mutters, her features etched with concern as she pieces the puzzle together. “Nathan, you’re not…you’re not moving, are you? You have the company and your family, and your father is supposed to retire at the end of this year.”
“I know, Mom,” I say, choked up with emotion. “But Paige and this baby are now my family too.”
Mom’s eyes fill with tears. “But how will I get to watch my grandbaby grow up?”
“Don’t freak out, please,” I say. “Paige is only four months along. We’re going to figure it out. And no matter what happens, we’ll make sure you have plenty of time to spend with your grandchild.”
Mom nods. “When can I meet her? Maybe if she comes here and gets to know all of us and sees your beautiful home, she’ll want to move here.”
It’s doubtful, especially after she made it clear she needs to put herself first, which includes not moving anywhere for anyone.
“I’ll talk to her,” I say. “But if she comes to visit, you can’t push her to move there. ”
“I won’t,” Mom promises. “But you said it yourself. She doesn’t have any family there. So, maybe once she meets ours, she’ll want to move here.”
“Maybe,” I agree, knowing it’s not going to be that easy.
“Keep in touch,” Dad says. “We love you.”
“Love you too.”
I hang up and lie back in my bed, wishing I were with Paige at her house instead of in a hotel room. I think about what my mom said, her worry over me possibly having to move.
The truth is, until Paige, the only future I could see for myself was in Dallas as CEO of Bradford Hotels. But now, when I think about my future, the only thing I know for certain is that it includes Paige and our baby.