Walk Off

Chapter 1

––––––––

Celia

Thank god she’d been able to pick her own dress.

As she stared in the mirror of the hotel room she was currently getting ready in, that’s all Celia could think.

Being a bridesmaid was hard enough. Doing it in an ugly gown was harder.

Cassidy had been totally on board with all of the bridesmaids picking their own gowns as long as they were the same color. It was a blessing since the gorgeous, low-cut, strapless dress that Zara, her friend and another bridesmaid was wearing would have fallen down as soon as Celia put it on.

It required boobs, something she definitely did not have.

A round stomach, now that she had. Which was why her own dress was A-line. Tight on top and flaring at her stomach so no one could see those last fifteen pounds she still hadn’t lost from having a baby seven years ago.

Jasmine might be the best thing that ever happened to her, but that extra weight was a burden each and every day. If only those extra pounds had gone to her boobs.

“You look gorgeous,” Hannah said as she stepped up beside her to glance in the mirror. She was another one of Cassidy’s bridesmaids and also Celia”s friend.

Celia tugged and pulled at her dress. “I feel silly.” This was the third wedding she’d been in during the last year and she still hadn’t gotten used to the dresses or having people stare at her while she stood up front with the bride. Hannah’s dress was similar to the one she was wearing but showed more skin up top. Her own went all the way to her neck. There was no need to show skin when you had nothing to show.

“Stop being like that.” Hannah spun to face her. “Take the compliment, especially when it’s the truth.”

Celia sighed. “I know, it”s just, you’d think this would get easier after doing it twice before.” In the last year she’d been in her sister Ruby’s wedding and Hananh’s.

“Someday, when we’re super drunk, you’re going to have to tell me why you hate weddings so much.” Hannah patted her shoulder and strolled over to the vanity where she freshened her makeup.

That was never going to happen.

Because all it would do was make her seem petty.

She wanted her friends to be happy, she truly did, but she also wanted to be happy. Only she knew that was never going to happen. She’d never get married and have the love she so desperately wanted.

The love she remembered so well.

The love she still held onto.

She might love him still, but he didn’t love her. And worse, if he ever found out what she did, he’d hate her.

Kyle Dulanay was the only man she’d ever love, and at the same time, the one man she could never have.

“We’re ready!” the wedding planner shouted as she came into the suite that Celia and the rest of the bridal party were in. It included her daughter, Jasmine, who was being tended to by her sister Ruby. Ruby had offered to take care of Jasmine for the day so that she could relax and not have to worry about her.

Although at seven, Jasmine was pretty easy to deal with. Way easier than when she’d been a baby and cried night and day.

Thank god those days were over.

“Mom,” Jasmine said as she ran over to her, “It’s almost time.” Her eyes were filled with excitement, and unlike her mother, she couldn”t wait to walk down the aisle as a flower girl and have everyone stare at her fluffy white dress.

“It sure is, baby.” Celia squatted down, something that was not easy to do in three-inch heels and a dress. “Remember to listen to Aunt Ruby and don’t talk or fidget during the ceremony.”

“I know, Mom.” Jasmine rolled her eyes. God, if she was this grown-up at seven, what would she be like as a teenager?

Celia shivered at the thought.

“I got her,” Ruby said. “You don’t need to worry about anything. Dallas and I are in charge of her the whole night until Kayla’s mom picks her up. Your only job is to have fun.” Kayla was Jasmine’s best friend and her mom had offered to keep Jasmine for the night, letting both Celia and Ruby enjoy the evening without a seven year old running around.

“Once the ceremony is over, I can watch her.” Celia hated relying on other people even though Ruby had told her many times in the last few days that she would take care of Jasmine during the reception. Celia had tried to tell her that it wasn’t necessary, that she wouldn”t be doing anything that made it hard to watch her kid, but Ruby wasn’t having it.

“Nope. We talked about this. I want you to relax and have fun. Let loose, dance, drink and just enjoy yourself. If you have to worry about Jasmine, then you won’t do any of that.”

Celia looked across to where Jasmine was now twirling in front of the mirror. “It’s not like I can’t watch her and have fun. Besides, she’s leaving as soon as dinner is over.”

“I know that,” Ruby said. “You’re a great mom but you’re also a woman. That part of you needs to find herself again.”

She snorted. “As if I even know what that means. I was still a teenager when I got pregnant. I’ve never had the chance to be a woman.” Getting pregnant at eighteen hadn’t been her plan. Since that time, all she’d done was raise Jasmine and finish college. There had been a few dates in the last couple of years, but nothing to write home about, and definitely nothing that made her feel like a woman. The friends she’d made since moving to Valley Falls had been her saving grace. They brought her out of her shell and kept her current with the world.

Their nights out, when they gossiped and drank, were the favorite parts of her week.

And the only time she let herself relax.

The rest of her days and weeks were spent worrying that she’d mess up her kid the same way her mom had messed up her. Which meant she worked extra hard to teach Jasmine right from wrong, but not to be judgemental. Pretty ironic, since all she’d done since Jasmine had been born was lie to her about her dad.

Something she wasn’t proud of but that she’d done for what she believed were the right reasons.

She and Kyle met the summer after her senior year in high school. It wasn’t love at first sight but it was pretty damn close. He was a minor league baseball player, traveling constantly with the team he was on as they played their games. When he was home, they spent every waking hour, and a lot of sleeping ones, together. They couldn’t get enough of each other. But then the inevitable happened.

He got called up to the major leagues.

Then the other shoe dropped.

She found out she was pregnant.

The moment Kyle got called up, he wanted her to go with him, or to try a long-distance relationship, but she couldn’t do that to him. He was a rising superstar, and as much as she loved him, she wasn’t willing to drag him down with a kid they hadn’t planned on.

So she’d lied.

She’d kept the pregnancy to herself and told him it was over and that she didn’t love him.

When really, her heart was breaking at the thought of being without him.

Then there was the baby.

Everything inside her told her to get rid of it, but in the end, she’d decided to keep it. She never told Kyle about Jasmine and never planned to. Hell, she’d never told anyone until two years ago when she’d finally told her sister.

All those years, Ruby had thought she’d gotten pregnant during a one-night stand with Kyle. The summer they were together, Celia had hidden the relationship from Ruby. It wasn’t until Ruby saw a photo of them in a tabloid that it got out, and by then, Kyle was already gone and she was already knocked up.

So she did what she’d already been doing. She lied.

She told Ruby that Kyle was a one-night stand and that he’d offered her money to get rid of the baby. Ruby used that as ammunition to hate professional athletes and almost lost out on Dallas because of it. That”s when Celia had come clean. She couldn’t let Ruby think Kyle, or all athletes, were bad.

Celia had been the one in the wrong.

For the last two years, she’d been trying to come up with the courage to reach out to Kyle. It was time he knew he had a daughter. It was time she faced the music of her lie, even if Kyle did something crazy like try and take Jasmine from her. But she wasn’t going to think about that today. Today was for Cassidy and Benji.

She made her way to the hallway right outside the ballroom along with everyone else. Everyone was excited for Cassidy to walk down the aisle, Celia included. When it was her turn, she took a deep breath, smiled brightly, and slowly walked down the aisle.

The ceremony was quick and beautiful as both Cassidy and Benji recited their own vows, each of them making the crowd laugh.

When they kissed and Benji picked Cassidy up, everyone went wild with shouts of congratulations and laughter.

With the ceremony over, Celia was able to relax a little bit more.

“Mom!” Jasmine ran up to her. “Did you see what a good job I did?”

“I did, baby. You were amazing.” She gave her a kiss on the head which made Jasmine cringe.

“There are people watching,” Jasmine said with an eye roll.

“Oh, I’m so sorry for embarrassing you like that,” she said in mock horror. Then she proceeded to pepper kisses all over her face before Jasmine ran away while Celia laughed. She watched her daughter go and all she could think was that time was moving too fast.

“You look like you could use this.” Zara held out a drink as she strolled up next to her.

“Yes, please.” Celia took the glass not caring what it was as she took a large sip. Turns out it was a gin and tonic, something Zara knew she liked.

“Easy, tiger,” Zara said. “We have all night to get drunk.”

“I don’t plan to get drunk.”

“Well, I do but not this early.” She looked around the room. “Have you seen how many good-looking guys are here? It’s like a smorgasbord of men.”

Celia couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sure they love being thought of like that.”

“As if they aren’t thinking the same thing about us. We look fucking hot.”

Zara was nothing if not confident. “Well, you can have your pick because I’m not interested.”

“You’re never interested. You know what you need? You need a ‘clear the cobwebs out’ fuck.”

Celia shook her head. That’s what she got for telling her friends she hadn’t had sex since getting pregnant with Jasmine. “And what exactly is that?”

“It’s just sex for the sake of sex. Just to get you back in the game.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be in the game.”

“You should. The game is full of orgasms you don’t have to give yourself. And that’s something to write home about.”

“You want me to write home about my orgasms?”

“It’s an expression.” Zara threw up her hands. “Come on, you and I are going to meet some guys.”

Celia let Zara drag her along, mainly because she might be right. It might be time to exorcise the demons and at least try and have a memory associated with sex that didn’t involve Kyle.

He’d been her first and he’d been her last.

When it came to sex, he was all she knew.

They mingled until it was time for dinner to start and somehow she’d met and agreed to dance with two guys. Calvin and Dane. Both of them played soccer and were friends of Benji’s. A bonus was that both lived in different cities. Maybe Zara was right. Maybe she could have a quick one-night stand to get herself back out there.

“You look like you’re having fun,” Dallas said as she sat down next to him for dinner. He nudged her shoulder with his own. “It’s nice.”

“I’m trying.” What more could she say? Dallas knew her story and all about Kyle. They’d gotten close since he and Ruby had married and she considered him her brother. Sometimes he was even easier to talk to than her friends. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything.”

“What are the rules for one-night stands?”

Dallas choked out part of his drink, quickly wiping it up with his napkin. “Excuse me?”

She sighed. “I need to get back out there and I think a one-night stand might be the way to start. But I have no frame of reference for rules or etiquette.”

“Celia, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” He looked slightly horrified.

“I don’t need you to approve, Dallas, I just need advice.” She gave him a sad smile. “I can’t keep living in the past.”

He sighed, his shoulders sagging. “Since we’re in a hotel, you don’t need to worry about going to his place or your place. That will also make it easier to leave. It should be sex and nothing else. No cuddling or talking afterward. And use protection.”

“I’m not an idiot.” She was on birth control but she’d need a condom just to double up. Did guys still carry those with them?

“I never said you were.” He leaned in close, lowering his voice. “I’m not saying I approve of this or that you should be doing it, but I understand why you want to.”

His understanding went a long way to calm her nerves. Now she just had to decide who would be the lucky guy and then actually go through with it.

Easier said than done.