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Celia
She was begging for Kyle to fuck her.
Kyle Dulanay.
The man she’d loved for eight years. The only man she’d ever slept with. The father of her daughter.
The one man she’d assumed she’d never ever see again.
It was surreal, intense, and so fucking good.
She wasn’t even sure how they’d ended up here. One moment, she’d been dancing with a nice guy who seemed to like her. The next thing she knew, Kyle had butted in and taken over.
Just like he always took over her thoughts when she was trying hard to think of someone else, anyone else, as she brought herself pleasure.
It never worked then so she wasn”t sure why she’d thought it could work when he was actually in the same room with her.
It was going to be worse after this. The Kyle she’d known eight years ago had been sweet and sexy, but also young and clueless.
It looks like things had changed.
Something she was glad about, even if it meant knowing he’d been with other women when she’d only ever been with him.
“What do you want?” His voice was rough and low. And, oh so sexy. It was a voice he’d never used before. At least not with her.
“Just...” She’d never said out loud what she was about to say. They’d made love or had sex. They’d never fucked. But that’s what they were doing.
That’s what she wanted.
“Fuck me,” she finally finished after a long pause and a heated gaze between them.
He grinned. “Good girl.”
Holy shit. Why was his praise so hot and why did it turn her on so much?
He thrust inside her. This time harder and deeper.
She whimpered at the feel of him reaching deep inside her. And a little because it hurt. It had been so long since she’d had actual sex and her vibrator was nowhere near as big as Kyle, nor did she fuck herself so deeply with it.
She’d be lucky if she was able to walk when they were finished.
“You feel so fucking good.” His words made her want to purr, to beg for more, for all he could give her.
“More,” she said in a desperate whisper.
His eyes heated even more. “You like this? You like me fucking you?” Each word was followed by a thrust of his cock inside her.
She nodded, completely unable to speak while he was fucking her so thoroughly.
While he was, once again, ruining her for any other man.
His hands gripped her legs, lifting them until they were between their bodies, pushing her back further on the bed. Thank god for the yoga she did four times a week. She would never skip a class again if this was what she got for going.
“Your pussy is so tight, and feels so goddamn good.” He closed his eyes and continued to thrust into her harder and harder. “I’ve dreamed of this so many times. Of finding you and fucking you. Of making you mine again.”
She whimpered, his words and his dick spinning her world out of control. Her body was on the edge and she knew that at any second, this would be over. She didn’t want that. She wanted it to last all night. To last forever.
But that wasn’t possible. This was all they had. One more night of sex. Amazing, out-of-this-world sex. Because tomorrow, when she told him about Jasmine, it would all be over.
She’d never get this again.
So, for the second time that night, she let herself go. Let herself live in the moment. She wanted to feel good, just this once, before everything came crashing down on her.
“Come for me,” he commanded, his voice rough and demanding.
Her body bent to his will and did exactly what he wanted.
She came fast and hard, shouting his name and clawing his skin. It went on and on, taking her on a journey she’d never been on before. Above her, Kyle’s face was strained and hard as he pumped into her furiously over and over again and then, with the sexiest groan in the world, came harder than she’d ever seen before.
His eyes closed again as he rode out the orgasm and she wondered for a moment if he was trying to pretend he was with someone else. Maybe to him, this was all just to screw the girl who walked away.
To her, it was so much more.
When he collapsed down on her, she immediately panicked at the possibility of the condom leaking. “You have to pull out.” She pushed him with her hands.
He lifted his head, his eyes full of confusion. “Is something wrong? Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head, tears threatening. “No, you just need to pull out before something happens.”
He did as she asked, rolling off her quickly and taking care of the condom. She tried to steady her breathing, but it was no use. This was part of the reason why she hadn’t had sex in eight years. The fear that she’d get pregnant again even while on birth control and using a condom.
“Celia,” Kyle said, sitting back down on the bed. “Did I do something wrong?” His hand touched her arm and that had her jumping up and off the bed.
“No, I just need to go.” She searched the floor for her clothes frantically. She had to get out of there before she did something stupid like tell him about Jasmine then and there.
“You haven’t really changed at all. Still walking away instead of dealing with your feelings.”
She stopped, not sure she’d heard him correctly. “What are you talking about?”
He got off the bed and stood in front of her completely naked and looking like a fucking god. “Tell me the real reason you broke things off with us all those years ago.”
She swallowed. Did he know something? Had he found out about Jasmine?
When she didn’t answer, he went on. “It was because you were scared. I knew that. I could see it in your eyes when you told me we were over. When you said I wasn’t worthy. When you lied and said you didn’t love me. I thought you’d come around. I thought, ‘she”ll call me in a week or so and we’ll be back together.’ But you didn’t call, and I was devastated all over again.”
She clutched her dress to her chest. Her heart was breaking, knowing what she’d done to him. Knowing that he’d thought she’d come back. If she stayed near him for one more minute, she was going to break down and tell him the real reason. And she wasn’t ready for that.
“I can’t do this.” She shook her head several times as she tried to get her dress on. She needed to get out of there fast. When the dress was on and she was mostly covered, she grabbed her shoes and beelined for the door. The last thing she heard before it slammed closed on her was Kyle saying her name. She ran down the hallway and didn’t stop even when she heard the door open and heard him say her name again.
Not willing to wait for the elevator, she took the stairs but after several flights, the tears finally let loose. She fell to the ground, breaking down right in the middle of the stairwell. Her cries echoed off the walls, but she didn’t care. All she knew was that once again, she’d made a mistake.
She was always making mistakes.
She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, but when she heard a door open several floors above her, she panicked.
“Celia!” The voice belonged to Zara.
Celia’s body relaxed knowing it wasn’t Kyle. Zara was her friend and wouldn”t judge her for what she’d done. At least not the sleeping with Kyle part. The having his baby and keeping it from him part was a different story.
“I’m down here.”
Footsteps sounded off the walls and in less than a minute, Zara was next to her. “Are you okay?” She sat down right beside her.
“Not really.” She looked at her friend. “How did you find me?”
“Kyle texted Heath and told him to send someone to be with you. I was standing next to him at the time so I came running.”
Why did the man have to be so damn good? Even after she’d run out on him for a second time, he was looking out for her.
“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on if you don’t want to.”
Celia scrubbed her hand down her face. “I slept with Kyle.”
Zara laughed. “Yeah, I think I figured that part out.”
“There’s more.” If she thought telling Zara was hard, she had no clue how she was going to tell Kyle. “I still love him. He’s why I don’t date.” God, just saying those words made her feel like a piece of shit.
Zara blinked at her several times. “I assumed it was something like that.
“I broke up with him, never told him I was pregnant, and I still love him.” She dropped her head into her hands.
Zara, who was never speechless, just stared at her, her expression unreadable.
“Go ahead and say it. I’m a piece of garbage.”
“That’s not what I was going to say.” She placed a hand on her leg. “Are you okay?”
That broke her. She’d done something horrible, something unforgivable, and her friend was asking if she was okay. It was no longer possible to hold in her emotions, some of which she’d been holding in for years.
“No,” she choked out, shaking her head, “I’m not okay.” She let the tears fall as she replayed all that had happened in the last eight years over and over in her head. From being in love with Kyle, to finding out she was pregnant, to lying to him and letting him walk away. Those were just the tip of the iceberg. She’d had to tell both Ruby and her mom about the baby. Ruby had been supportive even though she’d been angry at Kyle which was Celia’s fault since she’d lied about telling him. Her mom, on the other hand, had been a bitch, which was pretty typical. Ruby changed her whole life for Celia after that. They’d moved in together and she’d helped her through her pregnancy and the birth of Jasmine. She’d done everything she could to make sure Celia had a good life, even watching Jasmine so Celia could finish college.
She owed her sister everything and how she’d repaid her was by lying.
When she’d finally told her the truth, Ruby had been angry, but she’d never wavered in her love and support.
Celia didn’t deserve any of it.
“Who else knows?” Zara asked.
“That I’ve been in love with him this whole time or that I lied to him.”
“Honey, we all knew there was a reason you weren’t into dating. We might not have known it was Kyle Dulanay, but we sort of figured it was Jasmine’s father. Who knows about him being her father?”
“Ruby, Dallas and Cassidy knew before tonight and now you and Hannah.”
“What about Jasmine? What does she know about her dad?”
She shook her head. “I try to tell her he’s a good guy, but how is she supposed to believe that when he’s not around? Really, I’m the bad parent. I’m the parent who’s been lying to her all these years.” She looked up at her friend. “He’s going to take my baby from me.”
Zara hugged her tightly, rubbing her back. “We won’t let that happen. I don’t know everything, but I know you aren’t a bad person. And you’re a great mom.”
They spent a few more minutes in the stairwell before Zara coaxed her up and to her room. After changing out of her bridesmaid dress, she sat down on the bed and told Zara the whole story from the beginning.
From the day she met Kyle and her life changed in the blink of an eye.
When she finished talking, when every last piece of information was said, Zara finally spoke.
“That’s...holy shit, I don’t know what that is.”
She felt herself smile. Zara was always good at making that happen. “I lived it and even I think it’s insane.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to tell him. I have to.” She toyed with the hem of her t-shirt. “I’d already decided to tell him before he showed up here. Him being in town is like a freaking sign that I need to do it now.”
“What do you need from me?”
“Can you get his number from Heath? I don’t want him to leave before I can meet up with him.”
“Done.” Zara was already on her phone texting away. “If you need backup or reinforcements. I can come with you when you tell him.”
“No.” Celia shook her head. “I need to do this alone.”
“There you go.” She tapped a few buttons on her phone. “You have his number.”
Oh shit, this was real. She was going to have to text him.
Lifting her phone, she tapped on the number Zara had forwarded to her. A new text box opened up.
It was now or never.
Celia:
Kyle, this is Celia, I’m wondering if you could meet me tomorrow to talk.
She didn’t have to wait long for a reply. Three dots appeared immediately.
Kyle:
My plane leaves at three but I can meet in the morning.
Tell me this, are you okay?
Celia:
Let’s meet at 9 at the coffee shop across the street.
Celia:
I will be.
She set her phone on the bed facedown, or else she’d text him again. She knew herself well enough to know when she did and didn’t have control. And she knew that the one person she was never in control with, was Kyle.
“We’re meeting in the morning,” she told Zara.
“Do you want me to stay with you tonight?”
“No, I’m exhausted and all I want to do is sleep.”
Zara stood from the bed and Celia followed. “If you need me, call.” She gave Celia another hug and then left the room. After locking the door behind her, Celia turned off all the lights and got back in bed. She pulled the covers over her body and tried like hell to fall asleep.
Visions of the sex they’d had only an hour earlier filled her mind. Hot, sweaty, out-of-this-world sex. Kyle had always made her feel sexy, but this was different. He’d shown her another side of himself, and of herself. She liked it dirty and hard.
Something she’d never done.
Now she craved it. She wanted to feel it all again. She wanted to watch as he licked her pussy and made her come. She wanted to suck his dick. And she wanted him to fuck her so hard, she’d feel it for days.
Only, she knew that after she told him what she’d done, she’d never have that with him again.
All she’d ever have were the memories.