Wanted (The Un #2)

14. Alena

FOURTEEN

ALENA

Awareness slowly creeps into my sleepy brain. Awareness of my own my limbs and all their connecting pieces.

Awareness of a warm, comfortable body beneath me.

Slowly, I open my eyes and see Raphael sleeping peacefully beneath the weight of my body. With one of his arms draped over me, he seems to be using me as some kind of blanket.

My eyes study his face as if seeing him for the first time.

Something has changed.

And I’m not talking about the small smile curving on his mouth.

Everything looks different . Like my vision has somehow sharpened and enhanced.

Little details I’ve never noticed before are now impossible to miss.

Every black strand of hair on his head. Each long, dark lash that fans against his pale skin. How his skin is utterly smooth and utterly flawless. Without the help of makeup, not a pore can be seen. The lack of little lines and creases, even on his lips…

Finding myself becoming utterly entranced by his beauty, those sharp cheekbones, the cut of his jaw, and the perfect line of his nose, I sense I could stare at him for eternity and never get bored.

Tearing my gaze away from his face, I study the pillow beneath his head.

I can see every little thread that is woven together to create the pillowcase.

What the…

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath.

My first breath.

I haven’t been breathing this entire time. How is that possible?

Panic begins to seep into my bones, and I expect to feel my heart racing at any second, but it does nothing.

Raphael shifts a little and his arm tightens around me.

My eyes fly open.

His smile is turning into a frown.

As if I’ve always known how, I reach out with something inside me and dive into him.

He can sense my growing distress and it’s beginning to stir him back to consciousness.

Not ready to face him or talk to him yet, I force myself to calm down. Utilizing this new bond he’s created between us to my advantage, I reassure him that everything is well.

Doubt still flickers inside him, but he’s so exhausted waking is a struggle. When I begin to purr to soothe him, he happily and gratefully drifts back to sleep.

The smile reappearing.

I carefully watch his face for a sign that my deception has failed and find myself becoming fixated again.

Fixated on how such a handsome man could want a broken woman like me…

It’s only the sudden awareness of another presence near us, lurking outside our door, that pulls me out of my trance.

Dragging my eyes away from Raphael’s face, I look down at his naked, sculpted chest and consider the best way to move without waking him.

Carefully and slowly, I slide myself downward. Ignoring how wonderful it feels to have his skin sliding against my skin.

It’s like tiny little sparks are dancing across my own naked flesh.

When I reach the point of his arm dropping off me, I gently wrap my fingers around his wrist and lower it down until it’s resting against him.

Feet finally touching the floor, I straighten and risk another look at his face.

Thankfully, he still sleeps the sleep of the dead.

Turning away before I can become fixated again, I take in the room around me. At first, it’s unfamiliar, but then bits and pieces of memory come back to me.

I know Raphael moved us here… for some reason.

And I know we drank from each other and made love everywhere. Against the walls, on the ceiling, the floor, and even the dresser.

No wonder he’s worn out.

Moving toward the dresser, I open a drawer and peer at the neatly folded clothes available. Grabbing a blue dress, I yank it over my head and push my arms through the sleeves.

The length of the dress slides all the way down my body, the bottom of the skirt stopping only a few inches above the floor.

“I knew you would like that dress, dear sister,” a voice sing-songs quietly outside the door. “The moment I saw it, I knew it would suit you. It matches your eyes.”

Out of instinct, I spin around and stare hard at the door. Knowing whoever is on the other side is the one who spoke.

Fear wants to take hold, but I fight it back. More afraid of waking Raphael.

“There’s no need to be afraid. Do you not recognize my voice, sister?”

“Ambrose?” I whisper hesitantly.

“Yes!” he exclaims in delight.

I frown. Out of all the vampires I’ve met in Raphael’s coven, he’s not the one I’d prefer lurking nearby. Though he was friendly when we first met and was even protective, his appearance is disturbing, to say the least.

Not to mention, Raphael said he’s broken and can sometimes be unpredictable.

“What are you doing outside my door?” I ask as nicely as possible.

“Protecting you, of course,” he sing-songs. “Would you like to dance? The others will be asleep until night falls.”

I bite my lip to hold back my excitement and say calmly, “Of course, I’d love to dance with you… brother. But I need to freshen up first. Is there a bathroom nearby?”

Ambrose laughs musically with joy, and it’s everything I can do to not feel guilty for deceiving him.

I’ll dance with him later, I silently vow. Dance as much as he wants.

“Yes, sister, there’s one connected to your room,” he sing-songs.

I look over the room again and spot the door I thought led to a closet. “Wonderful. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be out soon.”

Taking one step toward the door, I find myself suddenly in front of it, my nose nearly pressing against it.

Ambrose laughs again, just full of delight. “You’ll get used to your new speed and strength soon. If brother Raphael permits, I’ll even help you.”

Tasting my own blood on my bottom lip, from where my fangs pierced it, I grab the handle of the door and pull it open. “I see. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, sister,” Ambrose responds cheerfully as my eyes scan over the bathroom.

It’s your typical modern bathroom. There’s a white porcelain toilet, a white sink attached to a cabinet, and a yellow curtain shielding what I assume is a tub and shower.

The curtain is made of fabric, though, and I can see light trying to pierce through it. Meaning there’s also a window.

“Be careful, sister,” Ambrose warns, suddenly sounding very serious. “The sunlight will not kill you, but it will hurt and weaken you.”

How on earth can he tell what I’m doing? Can he see me through the walls?

That thought creeping me out, I say, “Thank you for the warning, but I’d like some privacy now.”

“Of course…” Ambrose answers slowly. “But please be careful.”

I approach the sink first and twist both handles to turn on the faucet.

When Ambrose doesn’t say anything and I sense him moving a little away from the outside the door, I grab the shower curtain and rip it to the side.

“Sister, no!” Ambrose cries out.

He sounds so distraught, I wonder if I should be distraught, too.

But when the beams of sunlight streaming through the window touch me, I don’t feel any pain.

I only feel the greatest sense of joy.

Thrusting my arm out, I stare down at the streams of gold touching my pale skin in wonder.

“Sister, stop! Please!” Ambrose begs. “Stop before you hurt yourself!”

Shaking my head, his voice once again breaking my trance, I step into the tub and shove the window open. The window is rather small, seated in the wall high enough to give some privacy, but I’m pretty sure I can fit through it.

The moment my hands touch the ledge, though, I sense several other presences around me awakening in alarm.

Knowing I could be stopped at any second, I shove myself through the window and find myself landing on my feet, as if I intended to do it, instead of falling on my face.

I suppose being a vampire now does have some advantages…

“Alena!” I hear Asher roaring somewhere inside the house. “Get back inside now!”

The force of his fury slams into me and almost knocks me off my feet.

But I’ve waited for this moment for so long, I’ll be damned if I let anyone stop me.

Laughing as the sunlight washes over me, causing no pain, I do a little spin with my arms spread out before I take off running. Heading for the trees in front of me.

Moving as if I’m the wind, everything beside me passes by in a blur. Vaguely, I’m aware of leaves crackling and twigs snapping beneath my feet, but they don’t slow my speed.

Invigorated by the fresh air, I thrust my arms out beside me and let the tips of my fingers brush against the bark of the trees.

Tipping my head back, I look up at the thin canopy of leaves, seeking out the sky.

It’s so light… so blue… and so big .

Full of endless possibilities.

Possibilities that have been denied to me.

All around me, I can sense and hear life.

Birds sing to each other. Rabbits forage and seek out mates. Deer rub their antlers against the trees.

And predators lie in wait, ready to strike given the first opportunity.

The forest is buzzing with the sounds of flies, bees, and heartbeats.

My legs starting to grow tired, I slow down and stop, taking a moment to truly appreciate all the green around me.

To my left, a squirrel is rushing up a trunk with an acorn clutched between its teeth.

And to my right is a white butterfly fluttering from purple flower to purple flower.

The sudden urge to catch that butterfly comes over me. I want to experience what it’s like to hold something so pretty and delicate in my hand.

Stalking after the butterfly, I wait until it lands on another purple flower, then I make my move.

Thrusting out my arm, I close my hand around it.

Slowly pulling my arm to my chest, I carefully open my hand, expecting to see it fluttering against my palm.

But my hand is empty.

The only thing on my palm is the blood dripping from the tips of my fingers.

Why are my fingers bleeding?

Maybe I snagged them on a thorn…

Frowning, I look back at the flowers, searching for thorns, and see the butterfly flying away.

Why didn’t I catch it? I thought I had vampire speed…

Still determined to capture it, I stalk after the butterfly, following it through the trees.

I’d run after it, but I’m afraid of scaring it away, if I already haven’t.

With each step I take, though, my legs slow, as if they’re being weighed down by lead.

Then I step on a branch, cracking it in half. The snap it makes seems to alert the entire forest to my presence.

All the life I heard only seconds ago quiets. Leaving behind only the sounds of buzzing and heartbeats.

A flock of birds suddenly takes flight, fleeing the canopy to soar up into the sky.

I watch them. Watch the rhythmic flapping of their wings as they take formation. And even down here, I swear I can see every black, gleaming feather on their little bodies …

“Come back.”

I blink and shake my head before taking another step forward.

Only to feel a hard tug behind my ribs yanking me backward.

“I said come back!” Raphael roars inside my head.

“ No! ” I scream back, but I can’t stop my damn body from obeying him.

Submitting to his will, my heavy, tired legs are forced to retrace all the steps I’ve taken.

Throwing my arms out, I try to grab at the trees, but they only scrape against my fingers.

I become so exhausted, I don’t even know where I am when I finally feel Raphael grabbing me.

Lifting me up and clutching me to his chest, Raphael is so furious and afraid, his body, still naked, shakes.

Too tired to fight back, my head falls limply against him.

“Thank fuck we got to her in time,” Asher says from somewhere close.

“Yes,” Raphael grits out. “Thank fuck.”

Then the world smears around us.

I want to burst into tears the moment I realize we’re back inside the house.

The entire family gathered in the big, open entry room, their worry practically pulses off them.

When we appear, they look at us with different mixtures of relief.

Then I sense some of that relief transforming into horror.

“Oh god,” Chloe gasps. “What happened to her?”

Asher walks up to her and immediately pulls her into his arms. “Don’t worry, my love, she’ll be okay.”

Caden opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but Asher shoots him a dark look over his shoulder. “Don’t.”

Chloe’s reaction confuses me, but I’m too damn tired to ask her what she meant.

There’s nothing wrong with me… I was simply enjoying the sun for the first time in over a decade.

Raphael growls low and deep, his chest rumbling against my cheek.

“ Look at yourself ,” he commands.

Even though I’m so tired it hurts, my eyes slide slowly across my body.

The first thing I notice is my skin. Every inch of me is lobster red and looks a little... charred in some places.

I guess I got a wicked sunburn and didn’t realize it.

Raphael growls even louder. “ Keep looking! Look at your hands! Look at your feet!”

I look at my hands, at my fingers, and my stomach flips with the urge to puke.

All the skin is missing from my fingertips, and it looks like some of the bone has been ground away.

My feet aren’t much better, especially because there appears to be several thorns and broken twigs sticking out of them. The tips of my toes are split open, some nails are missing, and I wouldn’t be surprised if all the skin is gone from the bottom of them, too.

“How?” I croak. How did I not feel any of that?

But Raphael doesn’t answer. He just carries me to the kitchen.

I hear multiple pairs of footsteps following behind us, though their owners remain silent.

Walking over to a chair, Raphael sits down while Andrei walks over to what looks like a door for a pantry.

Opening the door, Andrei peers inside it before yanking out a woman. By the neck, he drags the woman over to us. Then he pushes her down to her knees and steps away.

“Thank you, brother,” Raphael says between clenched teeth.

One arm tightening around me, Raphael grabs the woman and pushes her neck into my face. “Drink.”

What?

I’d blink in confusion, but my eyelids are too tired to even do that.

“I said drink ,” Raphael repeats angrily.

Instinct taking over, my eyes immediately lock on the pulsing vein in her neck and my fangs sink into her skin.

Blood fills my mouth.

Blood that doesn’t taste nearly half as good as Raphael’s…

But it’s tolerable enough to return some of my strength.

I suck harder on the woman’s neck, and she suddenly moans as if what I’m doing is pleasurable.

I jerk back in surprise. “What the heck?”

Behind us, Caden bursts into laughter.

Raphael sighs, and I sense some of his anger fading. “I’ll explain later.” Shoving the woman’s neck back into my face, he orders again. “ Drink. ”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I bite the woman again. Doing my best to shut out her moans of pleasure as I drain her down to her last heartbeat.

Literally yanking the woman off my fangs, Raphael says, “We need another.”

“Coming right up!” Caden says cheerfully, causing Raphael to growl that beastly growl of his again.

I hear Caden burst into another fit of laughter before he drags a body over to us.

Knowing what’s about to happen, I reach out to Raphael.

“Please!” I beg through our bond. “Let me drink from you. This is disgusting.”

“I’d spank you if I thought it would have any effect,” Raphael snaps back. “But I suppose this will serve as a good enough punishment for your careless actions.”

I shake my head. “But I didn’t know what I was—”

“You were ordered by Asher himself to come back inside and ignored it!” he roars .

Cowed by his rage and filled with shame, when he shoves a new neck into my face I start drinking before he orders it.

But I can’t stop my tears when the woman starts moaning.

Especially because my sense of smell returns halfway through the feeding and I know exactly what is happening.

She’s orgasming.

When I drain this woman down to her last heartbeat, my mouth opens with a sob, and she falls to the ground.

“Another!” Raphael demands.

Curling into him and burying my face in his shoulder, I cry harder. I want to beg him to stop. To give me mercy.

But I know it will do no good.

All it might do is make him angrier.

And after what I did to myself, he has every right to be angry…

If he did such a thing to himself, I’d be furious.

Someone shoves a body down beside us.

I wait for a neck to be pushed into my face again, but it never comes.

The air moves beside me as Raphael yanks the human up and feeds himself.

I’d open my eyes, but the last thing I want to see is him drinking from another woman.

Thankfully, this one doesn’t moan or make a sound before thumping to the floor.

If she did, I don’t think I could ever recover from it.

Wrapping his other arm around me, Raphael stands from the chair without a word.

Too ashamed to look at anyone, I keep my face buried in his shoulder.

But I hear Ambrose ask, “Brother, do you want any—”

“No,” Raphael barks at him. “All I want is some privacy.”

Stomping with every step, Raphael carries me somewhere without another word. And I know the only reason he’s stomping is to show his anger and displeasure over the situation.

He’s a vampire. He doesn’t need to make any sounds when he moves. It’s part of what makes a vampire so dangerous to humans.

From the smell alone, I know when we’re back in our room.

It smells like us .

Our natural scents mixed with sex and blood.

He must have left the door open because he keeps both arms locked around me when he walks in.

Kicking the door shut behind him, he carries me into the room, and I cling harder to him. Afraid he’s going to drop me and walk off.

And I don’t know why, but right now I can’t bear the thought of being separated from him. I need him in a way I can’t put into words or understand…

If I knew how to do it, I’d crawl my way inside him and stay there.

Forever.

Finally bending over, Raphael sets my butt on the edge of the bed and his arms loosen.

He tries to pull away, but I refuse to let go of him.

“Alena,” he says sternly.

I don’t want to make him any angrier, but I also need to touch him.

Sighing, Raphael stills for a moment, as if thinking. Then he begins to lower down to his knees.

I open my tear-filled eyes and peer at him in surprise.

Why is he kneeling before me?

Shouldn’t I be the one kneeling before him?

“No,” he answers, reading my thoughts.

He’s probably been reading my thoughts this entire time, yet I still can’t read his.

His eyes meet mine for a split second then flick away. “Because I’ve blocked you out.”

I feel like he just stabbed me in the chest.

He did it on purpose?

I thought it was because I was still healing and hadn’t regained the ability yet.

“Why?” I ask.

His jaw clenches then relaxes. “It wouldn’t have been good for you to know what I was thinking.”

“So, you’re allowed to read my thoughts, but I’m not allowed to read yours?” I press.

He doesn’t answer and continues to refuse to look at me, staring off into the distance.

And I have no idea what he’s thinking.

My shame quickly begins to turn into anger. How dare he shut me out but keep helping himself to me!

“How dare me?!” Raphael says angrily and finally looks me in the eyes. “How dare you put yourself in danger like that!”

Grabbing me by the face, his hands cup firmly around my cheeks. “You could have died!”

“I didn’t—” I try to argue back.

“Ambrose warned you! And Asher ordered you! He fucking ordered you!” Raphael shouts at me, but it’s not a shout of anger.

It’s a shout of pain.

“Do you know what would happen to me if I lost you?!” he goes on.

I’d shake my head if I could.

His stare fills with torment as if just imagining my death is unbearable. “I’d die from the sheer pain of it. My soul would fucking disintegrate in anguish!”

My throat tightens and my eyes swim with tears.

Choking up, he rasps, “I love you, and I can’t exist without you. I wouldn’t want to exist without you.”

Opening up the bond on his end, he not only lets me feel all of his emotions, he pushes them on me.

He shares his anger, fear, torment, and anguish.

But he also shares his love for me.

A love that has been growing for centuries. The seed planted the moment his human life ended and his vampire existence began.

It’s tormented him more than anything, but he’s always cherished it.

The moment when his soul tried to connect with mine, while I was still being kept in chains and drugged into oblivion, the love made him sick, so terribly sick, but still he protected it.

Still cherished and wanted it.

And when he finally found me, finally held me in his arms, he knew true joy for the first time in his life.

But that joy didn’t last.

Because the Prophet tainted it.

Yet even that wouldn’t stop him.

He’d give anything and everything for me.

Including his own life.

And it almost came to that…

Just to be in this moment.

On his knees before me, pouring out not his heart.

But every part of his soul.

I gasp from the sheer strength of his love flowing through me.

And feel something small and bright I’ve kept hidden deep inside light up in response.

“You fill the void inside me,” Raphael murmurs. “I need you, Alena. Without you, I am hollow and empty. Without you, I am incomplete.”

Leaning forward, he presses his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. “I need you alive and near to feel whole.”

Closing my own eyes, I weave my fingers in his black hair and hold him close.

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I finally admit what I’ve been denying since the Prophet showed me part of this moment during the Judging.

What has terrified me every day since.

What I’ve been fighting and raging against.

The reason it hurt so bad when Raphael called me tainted and ran away.

Exhaling the breath, my fingers tighten in his hair as I open my eyes and whisper, “I love you, too.”