Wanting Him Always (Hudson Boys #4)

Prologue

Finn

Watching my father fade away right in front of me, and being unable to do a damn thing about it, crushes me. It’s like the air being sucked from my lungs, leaving me broken, and weak.

Truthfully it makes me pissed at the world.

I’m not this man, I wasn’t raised to be this kind of person. Hateful, agitated at everyone and everything, on edge every single day, hating the unknown of tomorrow. But it’s almost like I can’t control it, like it takes me over, squeezing me, overpowering my every thought.

Everything angers me, and on most days it’s a struggle to contain that hate building inside of me.

I target all the wrong people, remain distant from those I know are here for me no matter what. I try to be strong, knowing that my mother needs me to be. But everyday ends in the disappointment I feel toward myself for failing one again.

But seeing the man I admire, a man that’s been my hero from day one, so weak, frail, confused, and fading fast, cripples me. I can barely breathe, I can’t picture my life without him, I don’t want to.

But the ugly truth is that one day, a day far too soon, I may have to learn to live in a world without my father in it.

That’s where the anger recycles, taunting me and pulling at everything inside of me.

And once again I am the man I don’t want to be.