45. Roman
CHAPTER 45
ROMAN
My head dropped back onto the sofa as I hung up the phone and tossed it down on the couch in the doctor’s lounge. Everything I loved was half a world away, and I was stuck in Germany, wishing I was in Virginia.
I was a jealous asshole. There was no question about it. I was a jealous asshole. I envied my mom and Carson’s parents. They were in Virginia. They were with Carson and Margot. With my family. And I was a jealous asshole.
“Dr. Ott? Can I speak with you?”
I shot to my feet, snapped to attention, with my hand raised in salute.
“Yes, Colonel.”
Dr. Craig was a stickler for military protocol. The only thing keeping me from panicking was she called me Dr. Ott and not Captain Ott.
“Follow me.”
I followed her out of the doctor’s lounge, down the hall, and into a consultation room, shutting the door behind me. Unwilling to enter into the wrong conversation, I waited for her to begin.
“First, I want to say you’re a damn good doctor, and you fit in well with the staff. That’s always a concern with an assignment like yours, but you stepped in and stepped up.”
“Thank you, Colonel.”
“Do you have a family, Captain?”
“A daughter, ma’am. She started school this year. My mother lives with us to help out.”
“This assignment ends in a few weeks, if I’m not mistaken. Correct?”
I swallowed. “Yes, ma’am. That’s correct, but I’ve not received orders.”
“That’s because I’ve not done the paperwork yet, Captain.”
“Excuse me, ma’am?”
“I’ve held up your orders.”
“Umm, why? Sorry, ma’am. That was out of line.”
“Yes, it was, but I’ll answer anyway. I want to offer you a formal position here. I know you’re close to the end of your service requirement…”
“How long?” I asked, interrupting her.
“Three years.”
I nodded silently, chewing my lip.
“You have your little girl to consider.”
“Yes, Colonel.”
And Carson. I couldn’t include him. At least not out loud, but he played a significant role in this decision.
“Captain Ott?”
I nodded, then caught myself. “I’m sorry, Colonel, I was weighing the logistics.”
“No need to apologize. I can give you some time to decide,” she said while walking to the door.
“Ma’am?”
“Yes?”
“If I don’t accept the, would I go back to Kenner?”
“Generally, but they filled your spot.”
This wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all.
I schooled my face and replied, “Of course. Are there options, or will it be arbitrary?”
“It’s the Army, Captain. You serve where you’re told, but there are a couple of options: Madigan and BAMC.”
Seattle and Texas. I might as well stay in Germany.
“Is there a problem, Captain?”
“No, ma’am.”
She hummed under her breath. “Do you have a preference?”
“I have a house in Virginia.”
Her eyebrow arched at the lame excuse, but what could I say, “The love of my life lives there, and I desperately want to be with him?” Yeah that wouldn’t fly.
“Walter Reed almost always needs doctors.”
Three hours by car was better than three or more by plane.
“I’ll need to think about it.”
“Of course, but I’ll need an answer by the end of the week.”
She pulled open the door, disappearing through it without another word or even a backward glance.
I stared at the spot long after she departed. How like the military. Just when you think you’ve got things settled, they swoop in and flip everything upside down. As much as I loved my country and what the military had done for me and my child, sometimes it was difficult not to feel like they were offering you a crap sandwich disguised as a great opportunity.
Pulling out my phone, I typed a text to Carson.
Roman
They just offered me a permanent change of station.
My thumb hovered over the send button as I re-read what I typed. One word stuck out.
Offered.
Life drained away, leaving me weak-kneed. My ass dropped into the chair, and I tossed the phone on the table. Our relationship would always be a minefield of issues to navigate even after the repeal, but even more so in the shadows and from half a world away.
Sighing, I let my head fall into my hands. I didn’t know what to do. She said it was an offer. That I could turn it down, but would it put me in the position of being stationed even further away?
Or… would I be in Carson’s backyard?
My phone buzzed on the table. I thought hard about ignoring it, but Margot and Carson’s faces flashed on my closed eyelids. Groaning, I snatched up the annoying device and answered the call without looking at the screen.
“Hello.”
“It’s me. You okay?”
Was he psychic or something?
“Two calls in one day. Some would think you miss me.”
“Some would be right, but you didn’t answer my question.”
“My CO pulled me aside.”
“Fuck!”
“That’s a naughty word. The big one. It costs a whole dollar.”
“Really? Who says?”
“Nana and Mamaw Georgie and Papaw Cal.”
My eyes widened at Margot’s voice, easily claiming Carson’s parents as her grandparents. It’s like once Carson and I got our heads out of our collective asses, everyone else fell in line.
“Umm, that’s new.”
“Here, princess. Put that in the jar. It should cover me for the day.”
“Carson! That’s twenty dollars!” my mother yelled.
Even with everything up in the air and flipped on its head as it was, I laughed. I couldn’t help it. She had Carson wrapped around her finger.
“Yes, ma’am, it is. Why don’t you take her to the toy section and let her pick something out?”
“You’re going to spoil her.”
My words echoed through the phone as my mother unknowingly parroted them.
“Yes.”
Mama’s grumbles faded away, drowned out by Margot’s squeals.
“Okay, we have a few minutes while I find all this shit our mothers put on the grocery list. So, what did your CO want?”
“To tell me why I’ve not received my orders yet.”
“What’s been the hold-up?”
“Colonel Craig wants me to stay.”
“In Germany?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow. Okay, so what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know because my spot at Kenner has been filled. So, going back isn’t an option.”
Silence shouldn’t be so loud.
“Carson?”
“Yeah, doc, I’m here. Just trying to figure shit out.”
“Adapt and overcome, isn’t that the Navy motto.”
He groaned, “Jesus, fuck. No, and you know better. That’s the Marines.”
I smiled and said, “Well, yesterday was an easy day compared to today.”
“That’s for damn sure. So, what are we going to do? What’re our options?”
“Germany, Seattle, or Texas.”
He inhaled so deeply that I heard it as clearly as if I stood next to him.
“Well, fuck.”
“The colonel said I might be able to go to Walter Reed, but she’s not sure.”
“We’ll figure it out. That’s what you said, right?”
“Yeah. We will. I have a year left on my service obligation.”
“Are you thinking of staying in?”
“That was always the plan. The military was never what I wanted. I wanted to be a doctor. My father’s stupidity and selfishness, plus Margot’s arrival, are the reasons why I joined the Army.”
“Well, then, a year, even if it’s in Germany, Seattle, or Texas, we’ll make it work.”
Was it any wonder I loved the guy?
“Well, Germany’s off the table unless I stay in. They want a three-year commitment.”
“Okay, so Seattle or Texas?”
“Or D.C.”
“Let’s pray for D.C., then.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“I didn’t want to put a damper on your visit with Margot and your parents.”
“Doc, we don’t get to make these decisions. We just have to live with them.”
“For another year.”
“If you’re sure you don’t want to stay in, then yes, for another year.”
“What I’m sure about is us. Your schedule is a nightmare on its own. If I stay in, we have to add in the PCS issue every three years, and I don’t want that. I want a life with you.”
“You do?”
“We talked about this, babe.”
“Yeah. We did. Sorry.”
“Babe, my kid is calling your parents mamaw and papaw. I think it’s safe to say you’re stuck with me for as long as you’ll have me.”
“Yeah. I’m being insecure, huh?”
“Everyone has their moments. Now, want to explain the mamaw and papaw bit?”
“Don’t ask me. They picked up your mom and Margot from the airport, and that’s what she was calling them when they got to the house. Is it wrong of me to hope your mom told them about us? It’d be nice to avoid that conversation.”
“If she did, I’ll string her up by her toes and use her as a pinata. When you come out is up to you and no one else. Take your time and pick your moment, because when you tell someone is a personal decision. It’s no one’s business unless you want it to be, and other people shouldn’t share it unless you’ve given them permission to do so.”
His silence concerned me, but I waited him out, hoping I hadn’t freaked him out.
“You’re right. I’m just scared. What if…”
“Don’t borrow trouble. That’s what your mom used to tell us, right? We shouldn’t worry about things that might happen because too many things already had.”
“Yeah.”
“Alright then. So, just breathe.”
“Would you be there with me?”
“If you want me to be. I don’t know when we’ll be on the same continent again, let alone the same time zone.”
“I want to tell them while they’re here.”
“Do you want me to have Mama fly home so you can have some time with them without her and Margot in the middle of things?”
“No, but would you mind if you were on speakerphone when I told them.”
“Of course not. Whatever you need, babe.”
“I love it when you call me that.”
I smiled, my face stretching as it grew. The way he made me feel even when he was four thousand miles away was indescribable.
“I’m glad.”
“Are you off work?”
“No. Not yet. I should probably get back out there.”
“Talk soon.”
“Most definitely.”
I walked out of the consultation room with a game plan. I was going home, and when my service obligation was up, I would resign my commission so Carson and I could build a life together.
Dreams did come true. Sometimes, it meant they took the long, grueling route that made everything look dark and bleak.
At the desk, I picked up a patient, but when I looked up, I met Colonel Craig’s gaze. The woman had been nice enough to ask me to stay and I knew I wasn’t going to, so I bit the bullet and walked over to her.
“The look says it all. You’ll be missed.”