Two
Yvette
There is nothing quite like the simple joy of bubbles! Every time I blow a few, Laney squeals with this excessive, contagious laughter. Occasionally they come out really big, delighting us both as they hobble and float. The way her blue eyes grow big and bright as she follows them across the room, all the while refracting all the rainbow colors.
It’s magical!
For a moment, watching Laney interact with the bubbles whisks my thoughts right away from Ward and the fact he was standing right there with that lingering look and those big arms, the grin in his voice that always sends heat straight down my spine. I can still scent traces of his woodsy cologne if I really focus in on it.
Which is exactly what I am not doing. But gosh, Ward is a whole thing. He’s a man man. He can literally just stand there and be radiating some raw magnetism that makes my skin go hot. And this time, I can’t blame it on any fires.
“Bubbo!” Laney chimes, snapping me from my daze. She’s a spitfire, this one. I can get away with nothing around her—not even daydreaming about devastatingly handsome Ward with his chiseled jaw and his ridiculously meaty shoulders.
I blow out the biggest breath I can muster this time, and the bubbles are insane. Laney bursts with glee. This is why I told Ward to take all the time he needs. I could just stay here with Laney all day. I’m tempted to do a live because she’s just so darn cute, but I’d never dare put another person’s baby on the internet without their permission.
“Last one!” As I blow, my phone rings with a call from Ditra, my best friend from back home in Texas.
“Pone!” Laney singsongs.
“Yes! Pone, phone. Either one works!” I answer the call. “Ditra! Oh you have got to say hi to this cutie pie—”
Ditra’s loud cry stops me in my tracks.
“Ditra? Honey, what’s wrong?”
She’s crying so hard it’s difficult to make out all of her words. But I catch enough of them to know what she’s saying. “Daddy. He’s gone. He’s gone, Yv.”
Her dad, Papa Donovan? Oh no. No, no . He was so much like a dad to me, too. My throat squeezes tight around the sobs that I want to let out, but I can’t. I don’t want to stress out Laney, who won’t understand, or make things harder for Ditra. She doesn’t need my crying, she needs to cry to me . It’s so hard to control the emotions that are ransacking through my entire body.
“Uh oh!”
“Wait, who’s that in the background? Did you have a baby and not tell me?”
“I would never. That’s Laney, I’m watching her for a bit for Ward, who was watching her for Hearth, who’s on her babymoon—”
“Ward,” Ditra repeats the one word she apparently caught from all that. “You mean like, Ward , Ward?”
I swallow the lump in my throat that’s present now for another reason. “Yes, the Ward.”
“Are you guys like…” Her voice changes slightly, like the idea of me in a new situationship is the brief, unserious distraction that might make her feel better right now, even if only for twenty-seven seconds.
“Not yet.”
“What does that mean, not yet?”
“We’re taking things slow,” I come up with. That may not be a flat-out lie, I’m certainly dragging my own feet with him. But like magic and love, lying is also about intention. We’re not taking things slowly. We’re not anything.
“Okay, well don’t leave me hanging with any updates. I’m still your best friend.”
“I’m still your best friend,” I tell her likewise.
“You’re okay over there? I miss you,” Ditra says. I know she hopes I am okay, and I know at the same time, a part of her hopes that I’m not. But I can’t go back to Texas.
“You know if you ever need to get away, you can always come stay here. Like after things settle?” I offer. “I have an extra room. And don’t you work remote? I have good internet. I miss you, too.”
“God I miss you.” Ditra’s sigh is filled with grief. Long-distance best friendships are so damn hard. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. “Thank you for answering.”
“Always. Call me again soon? I’m here.”
When I hang up with Ditra, I notice Laney has started to get quiet, and is rubbing her eyes almost vigorously with her little fists. Naptime .
I slide off all of my bracelets, so they aren’t so loud, and lay her down on a little mat that’s now a makeshift bed in my yoga room. She settles quickly, but still I put a few drops of lavender and cedarwood in the diffuser that’s also a sound machine, and then I sing her a lullaby. She’s out like a light in a matter of minutes. There isn’t a door to this room, only a curtain of beads that I step through as quietly as possible.
When I get to my living room, all of the emotion, and I mean all of it, comes pouring out of me almost all at once. Not Papa Donovan . I didn’t even ask Ditra how he died. I’m not sure I’m ready to know that yet. Papa, come back. Papa, I need you.
I’m only halfway done with my hysterical breakdown when there’s a knock at the door. Has it been an hour already? hours , I realize after I glance at the clock. I was having so much fun, and then so much suck, the time went by fast.
I check myself in the little mirror by the front door, but whatever that is is so unfixable at the moment, I tear my eyes away. I don’t even smooth down my hair, there’s just no use.
I open the door to Ward standing there looking agonizingly good. I just look agonizing. He takes me in from frizzy head to bare feet, coming back up to land on my mascara-streaked eyes and lips swollen and red from crying.
“Was it really that bad?” His expression becomes one of sheer terror and he bursts right into my house, looking all around, behind doors, under pillows. “Where’s Laney, is she okay?”
“Shhhhh. She’s okay, she’s amazing. She’s not under a pillow .” I almost have to laugh at the sight of this big man in my little house, going positively berserk. “She’s napping,” I say in a hushed voice.
“What happened, then?”
“I got a call from my friend Ditra. Her dad just passed away.”
He stops and looks at me from across the room. “Her dad?”
“He was practically a dad to me too.” Saying it out loud breaks me all over again, and the tears spill out freely with the dam already broken.
Ward crosses the space in fewer strides than humanly normal, and his big bear arms fall around me, drawing me right to his chest. He doesn’t just hold me as he lets me cry, he squeezes, like he could squeeze the pain from me and take it on himself if only he could. He’s so warm, so comforting. And he smells like sweetness and spice and…old house.
“Where even were you?” I ask into his chest. He loosens the squeeze enough to talk comfortably but doesn’t let go of me yet.
“Was I gone too long?” he asks.
“No…you just have a…scent.”
He chuckles warmly. “Helping a neighbor. You should see this guy’s house. Actually you shouldn’t, it’s a cluster. He’s a certified hoarder, but he needed my help.”
“With what?”
That chuckle again. It makes my cheek bounce against his chest muscles. “Curious, you are.”
“Okay, Yoda. I’m just making conversation.”
He runs his fingers down the back of my matted hair, but it still feels so good I practically purr. “I was changing the batteries of his smoke detectors. He has tinnitus and it was driving him insane, not that he’s not already a bit insane but that’s a whole other thing. Anyhow he would not take no for an answer and said he’d call the fire department to come do it but those guys hate coming all the way out to the boonies for those types of calls…”
“Okay, yeah, that’s enough information.” I giggle.
“Glad you’re satisfied.”
When we pull apart, I realize his shirt is soaked from my tears. The wet spot molds to his pecs.
“Who’s Ditra?” His question snaps my attention back up to his face.
“My best friend from Texas.”
“Oh yeah, I forget you’re from Texas,” he says. “Why’d you move to Tennessee?”
I plant my hands on my hips. We’re taking it slow , I said to Ditra. I better really mean that or else I am an actual liar. So take it slow…take it something , I tell myself now.
“If you want to ask me questions, you’ll have to take me on a proper date, Mr. Ward the Fireman Man.”
He matches my pose, hands on his hips as his eyes get big and round as he takes one quick sweep with his gaze around my house. He looks back at me, smirking. “Oh, I have questions.”
I’m about to reply with something sassy when a soft little coo coming from my yoga room has me headed that direction. “She’s waking up.”
Gathering baby Laney in my arms, she falls against my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, still warm from her little sleep. We’ve had so much fun together, but when she spots Ward, she practically bursts out of my arms for him. He has a broad grin on his face as he takes her, and my stomach swoops at the sight.
“Did you have fun, little miss?”
“Wad!” she says gleefully. She puckers her lips, and he dabs them in a quick kiss.
“I missed you, too.” Ward chuckles.
“You got everything?” I double-check as I help gather up all the items they brought over for Laney, and we head toward his truck. Ward gets her buckled into her car seat like he’s already seasoned at doing it. “Bye-bye, Laney,” I singsong, giving her a kiss on the forehead before he closes the door.
“You’re good with her,” I say to Ward as he pauses for a beat outside of his truck.
“You’re pretty good yourself.” He flashes a grin.
“About the…um.” I stop short of reminding him of what we almost were going to say about a date, but I can’t work up the nerve a second time. Your turn to take it slow, Firefighter Ward .
“I get two days off next weekend,” he does it. He does it!
“Saturday night is a new moon,” I mention.
He furrows his brow. “What’s that mean?”
“It’s the start of the lunar cycle. The moon will rise and set with the sun, and you won’t be able to see its illuminated side. It’s a symbolic time of reflection and presence and growth and new beginnings. A time for starting something new. I always find it exciting!”
Ward just nods slowly. “So…six o’clock?” he suggests.
“Let’s do seven. I’m kind of a night owl.”
“I’m aware,” he grumbles, frowning.
“Bye-bye, Laney!” I say once more, waving at her in the truck window as she watches us. “See you next week.”
“You’ll see her next week, for what?”
“I’ll want to see her baby brother when he’s born, if it’s alright with his mama and daddy.”
“He’s not due for two and a half more weeks.”
“I think he’ll be here a little bit early. It’s alright, though,” I assure Ward. “He’s going to be perfect.”
Ward gives me a lingering look that’s full of curiosity and maybe some worry. “See you Saturday, Spark. And don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to see you before then. Know what I’m saying?”
“I know what you’re saying.” I bow my head in understanding.
“Good. Stay safe in there.” He juts his chin at my house. “And thank you again, for watching Laney today.”
“Anytime! I love her.”
“Yeah…” He smiles earnestly, making my insides do very odd things. “Me, too.”