CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
RHYAN
I stood outside in the cold, the night like a familiar and unwelcome blanket covering my body. Combat clinic ended a short while ago. And Lyriana had fought. Because, of course, she had. It wasn’t enough to parade her before the entire Court, or force her to run in armor that stood out. She was to be a spectacle at all times. The disgraced Heir to the Arkasva, the weak and powerless soturion.
But despite my father’s and Kane’s attempts to hurt her, she’d done well. More than well. I’d been proud as fuck watching her evade every hit and punch. She’d even managed to knock out one of my old apprentice’s snobby cousins. And she’d done it all without revealing her true strength, or her true power. Asherah’s power.
My stomach turned as I continued to wait. Because hard as I tried not to, I couldn’t help but think of Lyr that moment in the cave, the moment when Dario and Aiden had revealed the truth about Garrett. The split second before she looked to see if I was okay, I’d seen it on her face. The fear. The horror. And there was still so much more to tell her. So much more to reveal. But how could I? How could I tell her the things I’d done? The ways in which I’d failed. The other secrets I’d kept. The secrets I was still keeping. The secrets I’d tucked away about the Guardians.
And about her power. Her Rakashonim.
It had killed Asherah. And if Mercurial was right it would kill her again. I needed to understand it. Needed to learn everything I could. When we visited the Library of Glemaria tonight I intended to begin my research.
Asherah had left Auriel behind for another world. I’d be damned if Lyr left me in the same way. Not when I could stop it. Not when I could save her.
I scratched at my palm, then suddenly stopped. The habit was one I’d barely noticed I did, but tonight, I couldn’t help it. My betrothed ’s engagement ring was rubbing against my skin. Another secret I carried. One I did not yet want to face.
The doors to the Katurium opened, finally revealing Dario and a freshly showered Lyr. Her hair was still damp, pulled back into a loose braid that fell over her shoulder. They were both looking annoyed, their arms folded across their chests as they marched toward me.
“To the library then?” Dario asked, his gaze to the sky as a soturion began a descent on a gryphon. The one I assumed we’d be flying.
Lyr was watching the beast warily, but suddenly, she looked at Dario, her eyebrows wrinkled. “I hope you’re not too bored all night. I’m sure the library’s not your scene. I’d suggest some books for you to read, but—”
“Bored?” Dario asked. “Why would I be bored? Are you trying to insinuate I can’t read?”
Lyr smiled sweetly. “Of course not. I’m assuming you have no interest.”
Dario snorted. “You really formed quite an opinion there. Well, I hate to break it to you, but I’ll be anything but bored. Because I actually am interested in reading. And , because I’ll be working right alongside you on this little project. Imperator’s orders.”
Lyr’s eyes widened. “You—you!” she sputtered.
“Oh, yes. Me and Aiden.” His lips curled into a satisfied smile, one directed at me.
“And you’re prepared to do the research necessary?” Lyr asked, advancing on Dario.
My eyes met Lyr’s. And I could see the questions in her eyes. Could we trust him?
My jaw tightened. We had no choice.
“Shall we?” Dario asked, gesturing to the gryphon.
Lyr’s face hardened, her hazel eyes still on me. I nodded, and moved forward, my guard close behind.
Once we were all buckled into our riding harnesses, we took off into the night. Lyr sucked in a breath, and when Dario wasn’t looking, I grabbed her hand, giving her a quick squeeze. Her fingers curled around mine with such intensity, I felt it through every limb. And then, just as quickly, we released each other. But my hand continued to vibrate and pulse with the feel of her, the way it had in the early days of training, when we barely touched each other, when it had been forbidden, and I could recall exactly every part of her body I’d come in contact with. Could recall for exactly how long.
I’d sometimes spend hours reviewing every look between us, and every brush and graze between our bodies. Every adjustment I’d had to make to her form during stretches—I’d feel them everywhere, and I’d play the moments over and over during my endless shifts of guard duty.
Lyriana tensed beside me, as the gryphon’s angle shifted, the speed picking up. She glanced at me quickly, and then stared ahead, determined to conquer her fear of flying this way. A minute later we landed in front of the library, exactly at the same time Meera and Aiden’s gryphon arrived.
I tried to clear my mind as I stared up at the building. I’d forgotten how large it truly was. How majestic. And how long it had been since I’d last been inside.
Before I was forsworn. Before the tournament.
Before Garrett had died. A lump formed in my throat, the backs of my eyes burning, until I looked at Lyriana.
Her eyes lit up as she stepped back, her neck craning as she took the library in. I felt warmer than I had in hours as my heart seemed to beat faster. I’d seen fear and stress branded into her face for days.
But at that moment, she was just a girl who loved libraries. A girl with stars in her eyes and her first genuine smile in what felt like forever. The girl I’d fallen madly in love with. My own lips curled in response, and I resisted the urge to sneak up behind her, to wrap my arms around her waist and hold her so she could lean back and stare more comfortably.
“This is your library?” she asked, her voice full of wonder.
And fuck, if I didn’t swear in that moment to do everything in my power to give her another experience like this. Another chance to see something she loved, something that made her happy, something that made her eyes light up. Something that made her smile.
But just as quickly, my stomach hollowed. Before she could have any more moments like this, I had to ensure she survived. I had to get a hold of the research I’d been silently compiling in my mind for hours.
“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” Lyr continued.
“I’ve seen pictures,” Meera said, “but they don’t do it justice. The size, the detail.” She shook her head in appreciation. “In person, it’s beyond impressive.”
I looked at it again, imagining I was seeing the library through Lyr’s eyes—as if I were seeing it for the first time. The base of the library was constructed from a series of stone archways. Each arch was several stories tall and could have easily fit several Bamarian buildings beneath it.
Above the arches was the actual library, a series of interconnected towers, each one five stories high. Carvings depicting scenes from the Valya adorned the arches, and right before me was a carving of Auriel holding out his hand for Asherah, but she was just out of reach. Shiviel appeared to be sneaking up behind her, ready to attack.
“The scrolls are all kept at the top in the towers,” Aiden said confidently. “The Library of Glemaria was built seven hundred years ago. Even though hundreds of years had passed, there was still concern about the Drowning, about whether or not the tides would sweep the structure away, especially with how close it was to the shore. So, it was built above the arches, which had once been a bridge, allowing for the tide to rise from time to time without affecting the scrolls kept inside. Though the waters don’t come close anymore.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize you’d been assigned the role of history professor in this mission,” Dario said.
“What? It’s a unique structure and worth mentioning,” Aiden said, ignoring Dario’s jab.
I opened my mouth, about to defend Aiden. Garrett would have—but … Garrett wasn’t here. Because of me. And I’d lost my right to jump in as their friend.
“How exactly do we reach the library part of the unique structure?” Lyr asked, wearily.
“There’s a small lift in the northernmost arch,” Aiden said. “Follow me.”
At this hour there was only one mage controlling the lift—and with the weight of all of us combined, it was a slow ride. As we finally stilled, the doors opened, and we were led through shelves upon shelves of scrolls. We were met by a librarian who already had lamps ready for us to light our way.
“Citrine?” Lyr asked.
I nodded. “We use these for light here, and they do allow some torchlight.”
Her eyebrows crinkled in curiosity, and then she quickly returned to looking over every section in wonder. I looked, too, watching as the citrine stones cast a warm golden hue across the shelves of scrolls.
We were led through the first tower, out onto a small bridge that led to another tower, and then another before we were finally in the one that contained all the studies, the one I used to frequent with Dario and Garrett when prepping for academy exams.
We were shown into a private study room I hadn’t seen before. And from the looks on Dario’s and Aiden’s faces, they had no idea this room existed either. Our eyes met, our shoulders all lifting in a confused shrug—as if we’d forgotten we were enemies now. For a second, we were just the sons of nobles, at the library for a study session, when we’d rather be elsewhere. Training. Fighting. Partying. Dario would have wondered if he could access the room to bring his latest lover there, while Garrett would be plotting to get Aiden alone in it.
I’d be dreaming about Lyr.
The door closed behind us, and the fantasy shut down. Garrett wasn’t here. Garrett wasn’t going to be here. Somehow, being in exile, it had felt easier to grieve for him. To understand that he wasn’t where I was, because his place was here. It was easier to pretend I’d left him behind, left him safe with Aiden and Dario. To forget the last time I’d seen him.
But the longer I spent here with my old friends, without Garrett, the more his absence began to feel like a living pulsing thing. The more I missed him.
And the more guilty I felt. The more my final secret about him weighed on me.
Our escort remained outside, and as Dario and Aiden took their seats at the long study table, I did my best to push thoughts of Garrett away. I had to focus.
The table was already full of neatly organized scrolls. For a moment, we all stared at each other, no one willing to take charge, or open the discussion.
Then Lyr’s eyes narrowed on Aiden and Dario. “What has your Imperator told you?”
“Enough,” Aiden said.
“No. Not good enough. What do you know? What do you need explained?” she asked.
“Sounds to me more like you want us to reveal something to you that we shouldn’t,” Aiden said. “Well, we won’t. Give it up now. Your efforts will prove fruitless.”
“Fine,” she said. “I’ll assume you both know nothing, despite the fact that you’re here means you must have some level of clearance. So, I’ll fill you in. And don’t worry, I’ll speak very slowly, and use really small words.” She glared at Dario.
“Go as slow as you want, my lady.” Dario winked, his tone suggestive. “I can go all night long. I’m not under a deadline. But you are. You’re the one with a month to fulfill your contract to His Highness.”
“So then you know we’re going to the Valabellum,” Lyr said.
“Myself to fucking Moriel,” Dario said. “Yes, we know. We also know we’re planning to take the Emperor’s big old shield from his throne room, and then spirit Lady Julianna from the Palace.”
Lyr stiffened, her eyes darting to me, and then Meera whose eyes widened.
“What?” Meera asked. “We’re going to rescue Jules? With Imperator Hart’s help?”
“We are,” Lyr said gently. “I’m sorry, Meera. I wanted to tell you right away. But I haven’t exactly been given any permission to talk to you.” Her aura flared with anger, the emotions jutting out toward Dario and Aiden, but quickly, her focus returned to Meera. Meera, whose relationship with Lyr had been rocky for days. “You should have known,” she said.
I realized then, if Meera had no idea about the plan, then she still had no idea she was Cassarya, that she was the Goddess of the Blue Ray. And I didn’t know when we’d be able to tell her.
Meera took a few deep breaths, her eyes watery.
Lyr reached out a hand to Meera, and squeezed. Dario and Aiden watched the interaction, their bodies leaning forward, as if they were audience members at a play.
“Can you give them some privacy?” I asked.
“No,” Aiden said quickly, his voice harsh. “Whatever game this is, whatever madness your father wants, you’re still under our watch.”
Fuck. Meera deserved to know the truth about Cassarya, and about the shield. Dario and Aiden might know we were stealing it, but we weren’t going to tell them Ereshya’s shard lay in its center.
“Do you know who Lady Julianna is?” Lyr asked, her voice shaking.
Dario, to my surprise, nodded, his eyes softening. “She’s your cousin.”
Lyr’s face tightened. “We thought she was dead. But she’s been the Emperor’s prisoner for over two years.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” Dario said.
Lyr frowned, surprised by his sympathy. I looked away. I wasn’t. I knew Dario was harsh on the outside, but the softest of us all on the inside, much as he tried to hide it.
I could feel Aiden’s eyes on me, watching carefully. Jules had been my friend, too. They knew I’d had a pen pal for a while with a Bamarian noble but I’d never told them who. And then when her letters stopped, I’d never mentioned it again. And they’d never asked.
Lyr looked away, clearing her throat, trying to get her emotions under control. I could feel her unsteadiness in her aura. “The main mission we’ve been assigned to complete is to steal this shield. Otherwise, we don’t get Jules. Do you know anything about it?”
“We’ve seen descriptions of it,” Aiden offered. “It hangs in the Emperor’s throne room, above his seat.”
Meera made a noise of surprise. “We’re stealing a shield? From the Emperor? From his throne room?” She gestured around the room. “Us and what army?”
“There are several Palace guards currently in the employ of His Highness,” Aiden said. “We’re also being offered a team of mercenaries to assist with our escape and retreat—should it come to that.” He swallowed roughly. Aiden had always been a stickler for the rules. For him to be so calm about breaking them, even if they were under my father’s orders, was unlike him. It made me wonder what other things he’d been forced to do for my father. What other cruelties I’d left my friends to endure. What other cruelties they’d been forced to commit.
“Okay,” Lyr said slowly. She stared across the table at Aiden and Dario, clearly waiting for them to speak next. But they were silent, unwilling to share information in case they revealed something we hadn’t known yet.
“We know about Rhyan’s vorakh,” Aiden said suddenly, breaking the silence. He spoke quickly, like he was tripping over the words.
“You know what?” I burst out, my heart pounding.
“We know,” Dario said. “We’ve known. We were sworn to secrecy.”
I felt my chest tighten. A scar on my back that had been dormant for months suddenly burned as if it had just been carved into my skin. I could feel it then, clear as I had the night I’d gotten it. Feel the blade on my back. Hear the oath spoken into the night.
My eyes met Aiden’s, my stomach roiling.
He nodded, something in his expression I couldn’t read. And then he looked away, his attention back on Lyriana.
“You both know?” she asked, looking at me with concern.
“Yes,” Dario said. He reached for one of the scrolls.
“Just like that?” I asked, incredulous. “That’s how you tell me?” I wanted to throw up. I’d nearly died keeping this secret from them. I couldn’t even remember all the times my father had used it against me. Blackmailing me, threatening me, torturing me, forcing me to do his will.
“What do you want from us?” Dario asked. “A Godsdamned coming-out party?”
My chest heaved, and I eyed Aiden. He’d been the one I was most worried about—the one who Garrett—
I coughed, trying to clear my throat. A thousand questions raced through my mind. A hundred different scenarios I’d imagined about the day they’d learn my secret and how they’d react.
Nothing like this reality had ever once entered my imagination.
Aiden pressed his lips together, his eyes red before he shrugged and looked away, fiddling with the scrolls before his seat.
“His Highness told you?” Lyr asked.
“Who else?” Dario said, tapping his fingers on the table.
“We’re here,” Aiden said. “So you can take our presence for consent and acceptance of Rhyan’s situation.”
Lyr slammed her fists on the table, rising from her chair. “Situation? It’s not a fucking situation. It’s part of who he is. And it’s fucking amazing. Do you know how many times he’s saved my life with his vorakh?”
Aiden’s neck reddened. “Now is not the time, my lady, to mention saving lives.”
“I think it fucking is,” Lyr sneered.
But it was Meera who stood then, her aura icy and powerful. “Lyr’s right. Now I don’t care if His Highness assigned you to be here or not. But you’re going to listen, because what we’re planning to do here is save a life. My cousin’s, and she is vorakh. What we do in this room determines our success out there, and what happens out there is life and death, especially for Jules. If there’s any reason why we can’t trust you to help us, then leave. I’ll speak to Imperator Hart myself.” There was a flash in her eyes—a blue light. Cassarya’s.
Aiden stilled.
But Dario’s aura flared. “We’re here,” he said. “That’s your answer. Now sit down, both of you. You’re upsetting the guards.”
“Give me your word,” Lyr said. “I want your word that you’re going to do everything in your power to complete this mission.”
“We can’t,” Aiden roared. “We can’t give you our word. All right?”
“Why the hell not?” she asked.
“Because!” I shouted, and then we were all standing. Everyone stilled, turning to stare at me. “Because,” I said, my voice cracking. “They already gave their word to my father.” I sat back down, pulling my chair violently in toward the table. “They’ll do whatever he asks, and that’s it. So enough! He wants a shield, and this is how he’s going to get it. Everyone sit down and open your fucking scrolls. We’re doing this. We’re doing it right. And we start now!”
Lyr sat down next, followed by Meera. Finally, Dario and Aiden joined, everyone adjusting their seats and rearranging their scrolls.
“I think the best place to begin,” Lyr said, clearing her throat, “is to memorize the schedule that day, as well as the layout of the Palace. Places marked for chayatim, dungeons, rooms—” she cleared her throat again, “rooms that the Emperor can easily, or secretly gain access to. We need to make a list of every place where Jules might be kept.”
Dario shook his head. “We’re not going after Jules. We’re going after the shield.”
“I know. But once she’s free, it’s our job to make sure she isn’t taken from us again.”
“Focus on the shield,” Aiden said. “His Highness has her rescue set.”
Lyr’s nostrils flared.
“No shield, no Jules. We need a starting point for the theft.” Dario tilted his chin. “Look, I’m in. I’m all the way fucking in. And I don’t like losing. So let’s study. Memorize the schedule, pick starting points.”
At this, Lyriana and Meera shared a look, but both seemed to be in agreement.
Silence filled the room as everyone’s scrolls began to unroll. My heart was still pounding. My body still reacting to the knowledge that its secret had been revealed.
But then I thought of Jules. Of her last letter to me. Of the way her friendship had been all I had when I’d returned home from Bamaria, my heart broken over Lyr.
I pushed all other feelings aside. I was getting her the fuck out of there. Whatever else was happening tonight between me and my old friends—it didn’t matter. I began to read, my fingers unclenching, and like everyone else, I pored over the maps before me.
Sometime later, Lyr set her scroll down with a sound of frustration. “I have no fucking idea where to start,” she said.
“We can mark a few places off-limits though,” Meera suggested. “Some are too far, and too guarded for us to hide in. Those make no sense and should be crossed off as possibilities.” She pulled her map out toward the middle of the table, and stood, grabbing a few markers from her pack, and blocked off some sections. After a few moments, we all agreed. Meera eyed the map carefully. “Seeing the Palace like this, I think we can narrow down our starting points to half a dozen locations. Here.” She set down the first marker. “Here. Here,” she placed two more. “And any of these spots along these three corridors.” She set the final markers down.
“And there,” Lyr said, adding one more.
Everyone leaned forward, their eyes going back and forth between Meera’s map and their own.
“This is good,” I said. “We can begin planning around these entry points, and cross-reference the guard schedule and locations.”
Aiden tapped his fingers against the table. “Lyr’s entry point lines us up with most of His Highness’s Palace guards.” He frowned. “But we have less chances of being seen if we follow this one of Meera’s.” He pointed to a marker just outside the Throne Room.
“You’re sure?” Dario asked.
“We have to look out for the chayatim,” Aiden said. “The Emperor’s cloaked ones. They’ll be able to read your minds, see us coming.”
“Won’t we have protection?” Dario asked. “The potion that protects our minds?”
Meera put her head in her hands.
“The Imperator has that?” Lyr asked, her voice high.
“Of course, he does,” Aiden said. “We can’t walk in there with a crime in our thoughts. We’d be caught instantly.”
“So, we’re using magic that was stolen from a vorakh?” Lyr asked, her voice filled with disgust.
“It’s that, or get caught and join your cousin,” Dario said.
“Don’t you—” Lyr started, but I pushed my chair out and stood.
“No more fighting,” I said. “We’re here to succeed.” My eyes met Lyr’s.
“Fine. Are we settled on these two entry points to begin planning?” Lyr asked.
“I think so,” Meera said.
“We should still have back up plans in place,” Aiden said. “These are ideal, but we should be able to pull this off from any location.”
Dario pursed his lips together. “That’s a lot of fucking work.” He held up his hands before anyone could argue. “But we need to do it.” His lips curled in disgust. “I don’t exactly fancy becoming one of the Emperor’s prisoners.”
I turned to Lyr and Meera. “What do you both think?”
“It makes sense,” Meera said. “Aiden’s approach is right.”
Lyr bit her lip. “As long as we figure it out, and succeed, I don’t care how hard we work.”
“We’re going to succeed,” I said, and placed my hand over my heart. “ Me sha, me ka. And we’ll have a plan for after.”
Aiden stood up again, walking around the table to see Meera’s map at a different angle. “Yes. I think this is a very solid assessment, especially for day one.”
“Right, except that all of these locations are literally going to require completely different plans,” Lyr said.
“Let’s split up then,” I said. “We can’t all be in one place at the same time. And if we plan from two locations, we have better odds that one will be successful,” I said.
“Your odds of succeeding here,” Dario pointed to a marker, “are better, because you’ll be out in the open.” He gestured to Meera and Aiden. “No one would ever suspect either of you. And with so many of the Lumerian elite present, there’s guaranteed to be more commotion and therefore more chances for distraction while you make your move.”
Meera nodded, her expression thoughtful.
Dario frowned. “I think Rhyan and I need to plan for the more potentially violent mission. Fighting our way in and out.”
“And me?” Lyr asked.
“Well, you’re the one who has to take the shield in the end. So, you can move between both plans.”
“Either way, you’ll need me to create a glamour,” Aiden said. “Once you have the shield, I can leave behind a decoy. I can also conceal the real one in your possession.”
“Okay,” Lyr said. “Let’s start working. Aiden and Meera, you start here. We’ll call this Plan A. And Dario and Rhyan,” she pointed to the map, “you start here. Plan B. I’ll start with Meera and Aiden, then join you two.”
“Me and Rhyan,” Dario said. “Great.”
I stilled, hearing the unhappiness in his voice. He still hadn’t acknowledged that moment in the cave, the moment he’d gone into shock and I’d held him. And from the look on his face, and everything I’d ever known about Dario my entire life, my guess was he wasn’t ever going to.
Hours later, when Dario’s head was drooping and Lyr was rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes, the clock tower began to ring, announcing midnight.
The doors opened, my guard waiting, along with a few members of my father’s personal escort. Once we all left the room, and were searched to ensure we hadn’t taken any of our study materials, we were led back through the towers and archways to the entrance.
Once there, waiting for the lift, I pulled a small note out of my belt pouch, and stepped toward the desk.
“I’m interested in any titles that relate to these topics,” I said quietly, slipping the scroll across the table.
The librarian frowned, but took the parchment and read.
“Lord Rhyan,” one of my escorts scolded. “You’re to wait for the lift with us.”
“I am waiting for the lift with you,” I said. “I’m just doing so over here.”
Lyr watched me with a curious expression as the librarian scanned my requests.
“Eye witness reports and histories of Shiviel,” she said, frowning. “I haven’t been given leave to offer these titles to you.”
“I’m Heir to the Arkasva and Imperator,” I said, my stomach turning. “I have permission to use the library.”
“I—Yes, you do.”
“There’s no notice that I’m forbidden from such things, is there?
“No, Your Grace,” she said.
“Then please,” I said. “Any accounts. Anything related to Shiviel.”
She bit her lip, tapping the table, assessing the request.
“And,” I continued, “texts on ancient, forbidden magic, magic of the Gods. This in particular, please.” I pointed to my note on the scroll, my finger right beside the word Rakashonim. The power Lyr was drawing on when she called on Asherah.
“I’ll pull some titles for you, Your Grace, they should be ready tomorrow.”
But I didn’t want Lyr to see them. Not yet. “Can you have the scrolls delivered to my room at Seathorne?” I asked. “Please.”
The librarian’s mouth tightened. “I—yes. It will be done, Your Grace.”
“Thank you,” I said. “Truly.” Then feeling the glare of my escorts, I moved back to join them in their wait for the lift.
“What was that about?” Lyr asked, her shoulder dangerously close to my arm.
“Research,” I whispered. “On Shiviel.”
“You’re trying to find out what we did to him?” she asked.
My hand found hers beneath our cloaks, and our fingers threaded together. “I’m going to find out everything.”