CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
LYRIANA
“NO!” I screamed. “NO!”
Wind blasted as the ocean tides began to rise, roaring against the rapidly darkening sky.
“brING ME BACK!” I roared as the waves crashed, leaving foam against the shore.
There was no answer.
“Bring me back now! Mercurial! Godsdamn you. Mercurial! I’ll make a deal!” I yelled. “We’ll bargain! Just bring me back. Let me heal him! Please! I’ll give you anything you want. Mercurial!”
But there was still no answer. Not from Mercurial, nor any other Afeya who might hear me.
I started running for the Guardian before I knew what I was doing, rage pulling me forward. I felt farther than Lethea, no longer in control, barely conscious of what I was doing.
But I could still feel the new burst of Rakashonim burning inside of me. Still feel its power. It was waning, but it was there. And I was going to use every last bit of it. Until I passed out. Until I had no choice.
I was shaking, on fire, my heart ripping in two. Just before I reached the black onyx statue, I pulled out my sword, and with a primal scream I smashed it into the stone, the blade slicing through to the hilt. Then I punched the gryphon, all my strength in my fist. And I punched again. Raging and grieving, yelling Rhyan’s name, over and over, until my knuckles bled.
I stepped back, tears blurring my vision, and I kicked again.
A loud groan came from inside the structure.
I jumped back.
There was another groan. The thick sound of moving stones interrupted the rhythm of the tides.
I pulled out my sword, resheathing it at my hip. The sound intensified, louder, like thunder. And then I watched in shock as the Guardian’s head slid off its neck, and fell into the water.
My eyes widened. I ran for the front, climbing up on its talons, to look inside, my heart pounding. The Guardian of Bamaria had always been unique. A gryphon in seraphim country. And in Glemaria, the land of gryphons, they had a seraphim. Asherah’s tomb, built by Auriel himself. Was it possible, was this …?
I looked down, expecting to see more. But there was nothing. Just more solid rock. Whatever small semblance of hope I’d had was gone. I didn’t know what I expected, but I was done expecting anything to go my way. To work out.
I ran to the water, my legs getting soaked as I slipped on the sand, and stepped further into its depths. Until I reached the head of the statue. It was bigger than me, and carried a weight I couldn’t conceive of. But at that moment, it didn’t matter. I reached for the black stone, and I hefted it over my head like it weighed nothing.
“I defy you,” I screamed into the sky. “I defy you all! Every God. Every Goddess. All of Heaven. The Council of Forty-Four! You all have power! I know you do! And I served you! I honored you. I sacrificed for you. And I was fighting back! Fighting the fucking demons that you unleashed on us!”
There was no answer.
Only a rage growing inside me, a darkness I’d never felt.
“Then fuck you! Fuck all of you. I am Asherah reborn! I guarded your Godsdamned light for fucking centuries! And this! This is how you repay me! You’ve taken everything!” I roared. I threw the gryphon’s head into the ocean with a strength I knew shouldn’t have been possible.
It was the Rakashonim. I was getting used to it, and I was starting to wonder if all the warnings I’d been receiving about not using it, about it hurting me, were just a misdirection. That if the true fear was that I could hurt everyone else.
I pushed the waves back, my mind imagining them retreating further and further from the shore. They listened and I didn’t know why, whether it was because I was more powerful than ever, or fueled by my grief, or this new understanding. But the waves continued to retreat, the head of the gryphon floating away. I stepped into the damp sand, further and further, all the while the water continued to recede.
Lightning struck and thunder rumbled. There was an eerie stillness to the air.
I could sense the water gathering, coming together. It couldn’t retreat forever. I could feel it in my fingertips, feel it in my toes. I was going to cause a tsunami.
And I wasn’t going to stop it.
I held up my hands and I screamed at the sky. I could feel my power, feel it pushing out of me. Volatile. Destructive.
“You see what you’ve done! Do you see? I lost my cousin! My sister! My home! My country! You took my mother before I could walk. And you killed my father! You let the monsters survive! You let rapists win! Demons can walk in the sun. But Rhyan loses his power? His life!” My voice broke. “After all you’ve done to him. Done to me! He served you, too! He was good, and he was pure, and he was mine! After all he suffered, it didn’t break him! He still loved! But you took him anyway! So you know what? I don’t care anymore. I tried to do the right thing. But if this is the life you’ve created, and these are our fates, then I’m done! I’m done. I’m on fire and I don’t fucking care. Let it burn me. Burn me from within. Let it burn everything. I’ll take everything down if I have to. Do you think I fucking won’t? I’ll destroy this island. I’ll destroy the rest of the Godsdamned Empire. And when I’m done, it can join Lumeria in the bottom of the fucking ocean.”
Lightning struck again, and again. The thunder crashed.
The waves began to rise, rolling, thrashing and returning back to the shore, returning to me, to the land. The air stilled, and I could feel the force of the destruction looming.
Then a bright golden light shimmered in the blackening sky.
“Wait!” said a voice. Familiar. “Wait.”
The light continued to grow, and I had to cover my eyes to block it. To keep it from blinding me.
I stumbled backwards.
“Release the waters. Now. Do not destroy this world. Remember who you are. You are Goddess of the Red Ray of Light,” said the voice.
I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want to care. But then the light touched down in front of me, and took shape.
The shape of a man. He looked so familiar, with eyes that were a bright brilliant green.
Every part of him glowed with light.
“Ani janam ra, ” he said, and only then did I realize he’d been speaking in High Lumerian the entire time. I’d been translating unconsciously. But that phrase, that one phrase, “I know you,” had pulled me back.
“Rhyan?” I asked, tears streaming down my face.
“Release the waves, Mekara, ” he said. “Release them. Trust me.”
I deflated. The power was leaving me. And I released my hold. All at once, I felt dizzy and weak. The Rakashonim had finally ended. My power was drained.
“It’s done.” I started for him then, and froze. The light was lessening and more of his features were coming into focus. His hair curled the way it always had, but it was golden, and his eyes were a brilliant shade of green, but not Rhyan’s green. His face was similar in structure, the features reminiscent of Rhyan’s, but they weren’t his. His normally pale skin was tanned, golden.
I stepped back. “You’re not Rhyan.”
He smiled sadly, and reached out a hand to mine, clasping our fingers together. Then his glow subsided completely.
“No, I am not Rhyan. Not at the moment.”
I froze, my heart thundering. “What do you mean not at the moment? Who are you?”
Then he smiled, his eyes raking me up and down in a way that felt oddly familiar, like something Rhyan would do. He squeezed my hand, and then released me, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He was out of breath, his face turning red. It was so like Rhyan after a jump. He fell to his knees, his hands opening and closing in his lap.
I gasped.
It was the exact same thing I’d seen Rhyan do when he was first remembering his past life. The same exact movement and position I’d seen of Rhyan in my dream all those months ago. I’d been in the temple and he’d fallen.
I can cool you with my waters , I’d said in the dream. You don’t have to burn.
“You’re the fire,” said the stranger, taking Rhyan’s words out of my mind. Then he shook his head in disbelief. “I didn’t think it was possible. Didn’t think I’d make it in time. It’s not allowed anymore.” He swallowed roughly. “It’s been ages since I was down here. Since I took physical form.”
I stepped back. “Where’s Rhyan?”
“Numeria currently. At least, that’s where his body is.”
I shuddered, a sob racking through my chest.
“But,” the stranger said, “his soul is somewhere else. Not of this realm. That’s why I think I could do it.” He nodded. “Yes. That’s why I’m here. How I took form. Returned.”
“Who are you?” I asked, my voice shaking.
Shakily, he rose to his feet and bowed, his green eyes blazing. “I am Auriel.”