Wasted

Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Taylor

S tanding on the 10th-floor balcony outside the suite that overlooked the city of Nashville, I pulled my jacket tighter as a cool breeze whipped around me.

"How's it going?" Bailey asked through the speaker of the phone.

"Well," I glanced back at Cole, still cuffed to the bed, tossing another shot back, "he's still cuffed to the bed," I muttered. "But I brought a bottle of Wild Turkey with me, and he's working his way through it now."

"Have you two had a chance to talk?"

"He's done most of the talking." I sighed, leaning over the balcony. "But I did manage to get out that he was ruining his life and what that looked like for him."

"That's something," she said. "Did he hear you?"

"I think so, but honestly, it's hard to tell. I guess we'll see what happens once I release him."

"How are you?" The tone of her voice softened. She was worried about me, but she had nothing to worry about. I was a big girl, and I could handle whatever Cole threw at me.

"Honestly," I sighed, "I don't know. I don't really have any right to feel anything..."

"That's not true, Taylor," Bailey said, cutting me off. "Feelings are feelings; they're not right or wrong. They just are, and you have the right to feel whatever you feel." I nodded like she could see me. Bailey always had a way with words. "You should tell him the truth."

"I doubt he would listen even if I tried. He's angry, and I don't blame him."

"I put Caleb's letter to Cole in your suitcase." I tilted my head back, staring into the starless dark sky in silent exasperation. Cole didn't want the letter. He'd sent it back three times. "Maybe you can get him to keep it this time."

"He doesn't want anything to do with me or his brother, and I'm not sure there's anything I can do to change that."

"All you can do is try. Everything else is on him."

I wish I thought the same, but this was all on me. If I hadn't agreed to Caleb's plan, then I wouldn't have destroyed their relationship. "I should get back inside. I'm pretty sure he's already finished the bottle without me."

"Call me if you need anything."

"I will."

I disconnected, sucked in a deep breath, and slowly exhaled before shoving open the sliding glass door and strolling in. His eyes shifted up for a brief moment, and his gaze lingered on me for a moment too long, a flicker of something—regret? longing?—passed over his features before the mask of indifference slammed back into place.

Cole filled my shot glass. "Do you ever wish things had been different?"

Our eyes met for a brief moment, and I saw the old Cole—the one who could read my thoughts with a single glance. The Cole I'd fallen in love with. But it vanished as quickly as it appeared.

My forehead creased with confusion. Was this Cole's way of starting a conversation about what happened? I didn't want to talk about the past. I wanted to forget it, but if he was ready to talk, so was I. This had to be a step in the right direction.

I reached for the shot glass and tossed it back, wincing at the burn before setting it down. "Of course. I wish I'd done a lot of things differently, but hindsight is 20/20, and I can't change the past."

"I wish..." Cole's voice trailed off, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass. "I wish I could go back to before I knew your name, before your smile meant anything to me. But I can't, can I?" His laugh was hollow, tinged with a bitterness that hadn't been there years ago.

His words fell like lead weights, each syllable pressing against my ribcage until I struggled to draw breath. "I guess I deserve that."

"You deserve nothing," he mumbled. "Uncuff me. I want to get a shower and go to bed."

"Cole..." I began, but he silenced me with a cutting glare.

"I get it. I will get my shit together as long as I never have to see you again." My heart pounded painfully as he continued to cut through me. "Uncuff me. I'm going to shower, and when I get out, I want you to be gone. In return, I will stay sober and out of the bar."

I bit down on my bottom lip, tasting copper. "Um... I can't leave." The words felt like ash in my mouth.

Cole's eyebrows shot up, his gaze boring into me. "Why not?"

I took a deep breath, steeling myself. "Because your record label decided that if I leave before the end of the tour, they are dropping you."

Cole's fists clenched at his sides, knuckles turning white. "What the fuck?"

I plowed ahead, the words tumbling out. "And Kylie said she will be filing for full custody." I didn't actually believe any of them. They were giving me as much leverage as they could. "But I promise to stay out of your way as long as you stay out of the bar and keep your name out of the papers and off the news. Wyatt said I will have my own room after Nashville, so you won't have to see me."

Cole's Southern drawl thickened with frustration, his words coming out in a near-growl. "Fine. You stick to your corner; I'll stick to mine. Let's not pretend this is anything but a business arrangement."

I forced my lips into a half-smile and nodded, feeling the strain in my cheeks. "Got it."

"So, can you uncuff me so we can end this miserable reunion?" He made sure every single word he said cut deep, but I held my head high because I deserved it all. I'd betrayed him, or at least that's what he thought.

I nodded and pushed to my feet, strolling over to my bag. Unzipping the front pocket, I dug inside before pulling out both the key and Cole's letter from Caleb. It definitely wasn't the right time, so I shoved the envelope back into the bag.

"Here's the key," I said, holding it up. "But I feel like I should say this before I give it to you." He nodded for me to continue. "You're not hurting me by breaking this deal. After this ends, I go back to Bridgewater and continue my life. It hurts you and your family. It hurts River. So, if your plan is to go back to your old ways to hurt me, just know you won't."

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't even want to know you. I want to forget you ever existed."

I jerked my chin in a stilted nod, my throat constricting around a knot of unspoken words that threatened to choke me. Even though I felt like I deserved every hurtful word, I didn't feel like I could take anymore tonight. So I tossed the key on the bed beside him and turned away while he released himself. Moments later, I flinched when the bathroom door slammed shut.

This was going to be the longest two weeks of my life.