Wasted

Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Taylor

I f you had told me any time in the last two years that I'd be standing outside Cole's hotel room babysitting him while he screwed two random blondes, I'd have laughed and told you that you were delirious, but here I was, listening to the moans through the thin walls.

My phone vibrated, and I squeezed my eyes closed, saying a silent prayer that it was Wyatt telling me I was off duty for the night, as I pulled it out of my pocket. I groaned. No such luck.

I shifted my weight against the wall. "Hello."

"Hey," Kylie chirped, her voice bright through the speaker. "How's it going?"

"Well, I'm currently standing outside Cole's hotel room listening to the moans of two blondes."

"Why?" The amusement in her tone made my eyes roll.

"Because Wyatt thinks Cole will try to leave with the two girls tonight even though he hasn't gone to the bar once since I showed up."

"Do you?"

"No, he really wants his family back together."

"His family." She laughed. "You mean River?"

"No," I corrected. "You were included in that too."

She laughed a little louder. "Taylor, he's fucking with you," she said, her voice tinged with exasperation. "There was never any chemistry between Cole and me. It was just one stupid drunken night. We only tried to see if there could be more because of River, but we both agreed we weren't right for anything more than friends. And do you know why there was no chemistry?"

"Nope," I replied flatly, my disinterest evident. I honestly didn't care. I would rather chew my own arm off than have this conversation right now.

"Because we both found the love of our lives in elementary school, and once you find that kind of love, it's hard to settle for anything less."

My heart constricted, a vise of regret and longing that left me breathless. I exhaled slowly, the weight of unspoken words pressing down on my chest like a physical burden. "All I know is what he told me, so you should probably prepare how you're going to respond if you don't feel the same way."

"I don't, and neither does he," she insisted, her tone leaving no room for argument. "He's trying to get under your skin. Which is why you're standing outside the hotel room. I guarantee he made Wyatt believe he needed to be babysat, so you would have to see him with those girls. He'll do whatever he can do to hurt you the way you hurt him."

Realization dawned on me, my eyes widening. She was right. Cole wasn't going to the bar. He had too much to lose, and he knew it. Hurting me made his pain a little easier to deal with.

"We talked a few nights ago, and I thought we were past that, but I guess not." He was going to try to hurt me as long as he was hurting, but the problem was that he would never admit that he was still hurt so that we could work through it. The worst part was that none of these stunts hurt me. With everything I'd been through in the last two years, I was numb. His words were what cut deep, and thankfully, he'd stopped that.

"I talked to Wyatt yesterday, and he said that so far, he's seen a huge difference in Cole."

"Yeah, but it's not because of me. It's because of River... And you. He doesn't want to lose the two of you. I was just able to get his attention long enough for him to hear what was actually happening."

"Taylor..."

"Kylie," I snapped. I couldn't listen to her tell me he was still in love with me anymore. He'd made it very clear he hated me. "Please... This has been so much harder than I thought it would be already. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, and I still have more than a week left. I need to listen to Cole's words because I don't want to confuse my head or heart." Kylie was silent, but I knew she felt bad for me, and I hated that even more. "Anyway, how's Bailey doing?"

"She's a beast," Kylie teased. "Do you really live like this?" I laughed. "When do you sleep?"

"It's not that bad."

"No, it's not, but when I think about you caring for your father and Caleb on top of all this... Well, I can't imagine keeping up with all of it."

"You do what you have to."

"Yeah, I guess. Oh, Bailey said there's been a couple of new people here interested in your land."

"Tell her to throw their cards in the drawer under the cash register. I'll go through them when I get back."

"What? Why?"

"I'm not taking the money from Wyatt. It's time to sell. It's time for me to move on with my life."

"Taylor..."

"Hey," I said, cutting her off. "Wyatt just sent me a text that I'm off duty for tonight." That was a lie, but regardless, I was done, done standing outside his door and done with this conversation. "I'm going to shower and sleep."

"Call me if you need anything."

I disconnected as the moaning through the walls got louder. I wrinkled my nose, walking the few steps to my door right next to his. "Gross."

Flashing my keycard in front of the reader, it clicked green. I pushed through the door and sucked in a deep breath. I couldn't wait for this to be over, but I was thankful for one thing. I finally realized it was time to move on with my life.

Caleb passed away almost a year ago, and I'd been at a standstill ever since, and I couldn't explain why. Caleb and I were never in love. We were friends who had entered into a business agreement, and we'd both had something to gain from the deal. He would have someone he trusted to carry out his final wishes, and I would have enough money to pay off my parent's land, but in the end, because of Caleb's mother, I'd ended up with nothing except an old bar that I wasn't sure I wanted.

It had been hard and sad watching Caleb deteriorate to nothing. It was harder losing the only friend and family I had left, but I knew from the start that it was all part of the plan. I never thought about what my life would be like after he was gone.

Walking through the hotel room, I cut in between the king-size bed and the dresser with the big screen TV on it to the opposite side, pushed the sliding glass door open, and stepped out onto the balcony.

My gaze flicked up to the open door, and I felt my face contort in surprise as the sounds of two women moaning filled the quiet night before shifting to Cole, still fully dressed.

He shrugged. "Turns out they were more into each other than me."

I huffed out a laugh. I seriously doubted that, but it was still funny.

"Whiskey?" He raised the half-empty bottle in his hand, and I nodded. He poured the dark liquor into his cup and passed it over the metal barrier between us.

"Thanks," I murmured, savoring the whiskey as he tipped the bottle back.

He twisted away and leaned on the metal rails of the balcony, hanging the bottle of whiskey over it, and I dropped into the only chair on my side.

We sat in silence for several long minutes.

"It's funny, you know," he said, staring into the darkness.

"What's that?" I brought the glass to my lips and sipped.

"I'd played the moment we saw each other for the first time again, over and over in my head. I'd thought of what I'd wanted to say to you, but then I saw you, and I couldn't remember anything but how mad I was and how much I still hated you."

"Well, it probably didn't help that I'd handcuffed you to the bed," I teased, trying to lighten up the moment, but he didn't laugh or even crack a smile. "It was probably a distraction." He didn't say a word. "I'm listening now if you want to say it." I wasn't up for this tonight, but if he was ready to talk, I needed to listen.

He turned around, his gaze connecting with mine. "That's the thing." He shoved his hand into his pocket and leaned back against the banister. "I don't have anything to say."

I wasn't sure if he meant for that to hurt, but it did, and I couldn't explain why. "Nothing at all?"

He shook his head and pushed off the banister. "You should get some sleep. We're heading out early tomorrow morning."

My chest tightened with anger. "How long are we going to do this, Cole?"

He stopped flicking me a look. "What's that?"

"Avoiding any real conversation about what happened? Just tell me I hurt you. Tell me how much you hate me, but stop doing this stupid dance."

"Would that make you feel better, Taylor?" Cole asked, his voice low and dangerous. "If I yelled at you? If I told you how much you hurt me?"

"No," I snapped. "But maybe it would make you feel better."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah." I huffed out a humorless laugh. "It's obvious."

"If you got something to say, say it."

"You're a freaking mess, Cole. You're on the verge of losing everything you ever wanted."

"Everything I ever wanted," he growled, surging forward with so much force that I stepped back even though there was a wall between us. "You were all I ever wanted, Taylor. You. None of this mattered without you."

A sharp pain singed my chest. That was exactly why I had to do what I did. "Cole..."

"There," he cut me off. "I said it, but I don't feel any better."

"Cole, please..."

"I'm going to bed." He pushed open the sliding glass door and stepped inside.

I sank against the chair and shot back the rest of the whiskey in my glass.

Even though my heart hurt knowing I'd caused him this much pain, I didn't regret my choices. I would have never forgiven myself if he resented me because he never took his chance at fame, and he would have every morning he got up at four a.m. to work someone else's land because that's the only opportunity there was in Bridgewater.