Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Cole
M y heart raced so fast I was positive it was going to explode from my chest as I dragged my damp hands over my jeans, trying to wipe away the nerves. I'd been on more dates than I could count with Taylor, but this date felt like so much was riding on it being perfect. Taylor and I had always been so good together. I'd fallen in love with her the first time I'd seen her. It took her a little longer, but once I'd convinced her that I was the man of her dreams, we'd been inseparable until she, out of nowhere, decided to marry my brother.
I was still harboring an insane amount of anger about the entire situation, but now, a lot of that anger was directed toward myself. I should have known better. I should have fought for her, but I didn't. I got drunk and woke up with Kylie and a mountain of regret the next morning, but it was too late at that point; what was done was done. I didn't know then that I would get a new best friend and River out of that one night.
Swerving my old dark green 1970 Ford F-250 down the gravel driveway, I eased to a stop in front of Taylor's house and killed the engine. She would have heard the purr of the engine coming the minute that truck hit her property line, so more than likely, she already knew I was there.
Inhaling a deep breath, I pushed open the driver's side door as I exhaled, trying to calm my racing heart rate. I was so nervous, you would have thought it was our first date, but it wasn't.
Strolling up to the two-story old wood-framed white house, I realized what Taylor meant by restoring the house and property. The house was in terrible shape. It was a good thing she was going to sell because there was no way she'd be able to keep up with the maintenance of this place alone.
The front door creaked open, drawing my attention, and my breath caught in my throat as my lips parted. Taylor stepped out wearing a short yellow strapless a-line lace dress with brown cowgirl boots and her jean jacket in her hand. Her long blonde hair fell down her bare tan back in waves. I'd only seen Taylor in a dress once, and that was the time I'd talked her into attending our senior prom.
She was even more beautiful now.
"You," I swallowed past the lump in my throat, struggling to find the words to describe just how beautiful she was, "look absolutely beautiful."
"Thank you." Her cheeks flushed, and I couldn't help but smile.
"You ready?"
"Hold your horses, City Boy," she drawled, a hint of her old sass returning. "Where are we going?" She hopped down the steps from her front porch to the yard and led the way to my truck.
"It's a surprise." I pulled open her door, and she climbed in. "Do you still love surprises?"
"Good surprises." She smiled. "Sure."
"This is definitely a good surprise." I hoped it was, anyway. Taylor and I had both grown since the last time we'd seen each other. We were different people in some ways, but in others, we were still those same foolish kids who were hopelessly in love with each other.
Using the actual roads instead of cutting through the land took longer to get from her place to mine, but only about five minutes were between her driveway and mine.
I turned left, and she leaned forward. "We're going to your parent's house?" Her face twisted with confusion.
"Do you remember our first date?" I flicked her a glance out the corner of my eye.
Her gaze shifted forward like she was searching for a memory. "Uh, like when we ten?"
"No." I shook my head. "Like our first real date."
"Are you talking about the time you ordered takeout, and we ate it on the lake dock behind your parent's house?"
"That's it."
She smiled. "You consider that our first date."
It was hard to pinpoint a specific first date because we met as kids. She was my first and, so far, last real girlfriend. We spent every waking moment—and some sleeping—together, but the time at the lake was the first time I'd asked her to have dinner with me, and I'd gone to extremes to make everything perfect.
"Yeah." Flicking her a glance, I pursed my lips, and my brows knitted together. "Why? What do you consider our first date?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe, the time you asked me to go down to the swimming hole with you."
I smiled, remembering. "Our first full moon swim." She nodded. "Our first kiss." I couldn't believe I'd forgotten about that. "I guess that was our first date, wasn't it?"
"How old were we?"
"We were in the sixth grade, so twelve, maybe."
"We almost got busted sneaking back in that night because you tripped and fell."
I laughed. "My head hit the window." I eased the truck to a stop in front of the lake and put it in park before killing the engine. "Truthfully, my original plan was to take you dancing at that new bar in the city, but I realized that wouldn't give us much alone time."
"Fans?"
"Yeah." I nodded. "Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for all my fans, but sometimes I miss my privacy."
"Can I ask you something?" She shifted in the seat, turning toward me. My gaze met hers, and I nodded. "Do you love it? I mean, was reaching your dream everything you thought it would be?"
I sighed. That was such a loaded question that I didn't really have one simple answer. "Do you regret your decision to marry Caleb?"
Clearing her throat, she averted her gaze like she was avoiding eye contact. "You answer first."
"Okay." I nodded. "Yes, I love being on that stage. I love making music, and I love that rush I get right before I walk on stage. I love the adrenaline pumping through me when my fans are screaming. Your turn."
"No." She smiled. "I don't regret it. I don't regret choosing you over myself."
"But..." I said, drawing her attention to finish answering the rest of her question. "This industry is lonely. You never know who you can trust and who you can't. You never know who your real friends are, and women, they're a dime a dozen. Everyone hoping to be Mrs. Cole Montgomery. Not because they love me but because of what I can offer them."
"I guess everything has its positives and negatives," Taylor mused, her pragmatic nature shining through. While I'd always been the dreamer, she was the practical one, but looking back, I realized that was because she had to be. Her life didn't leave a lot of room for dreams.
My gaze dropped. "I'm going to say this one last time because I feel like I need you to really hear me." My heart twisted in my chest. "I don't agree with what you and Caleb did, but I understand why you did it. But Taylor," my gaze flicked up, meeting hers, "I would have traded everything I had to be with you. None of that mattered without you. I love what I do, and I love being on that stage, but I loved you more."
"I thought you would move on and forget me."
"What?" I scowled. "How? How do you forget what we had?"
"I don't know." She shrugged. "I haven't been able to."
Sucking in a deep breath, I exhaled slowly. "Let's try to let that part of our past go and see if we have a future together." Disappointment tightened my chest because I felt like I'd ruined the night, but I also felt like we needed to clear the air to move forward.
I'd set up two Adirondack chairs on the floating dock with a small fire pit with food and her favorite whiskey, but as romantic as it was under the quarter-crescent moon, it wasn't enough to salvage the night.
Sitting in an awkward silence, I stared off into the dark distance, trying to find something to discuss that didn't involve the past. Trying to find a topic that would just make the conversation flow, but I couldn't. We'd never had this much silence between us when we were younger. Even when I thought she'd cheated on me with my brother.
"This isn't working, is it?" I asked, pushing out of the chair and moving to stand at the edge of the dock. I shook my head. "I don't understand why this is so hard this time. It feels like we have nothing but our past in common anymore."
She sighed, and I twisted to face her. "I think we're trying too hard to get back what we had all those years again." She smiled. "To feel what we felt then, but..." She shook her head. "We aren't the same people we were then, and as much as I want to, we can't go back in time."
"Everything was so easy today."
"We weren't trying so hard today. We were just two friends hanging out. There was no pressure."
I nodded. She was right. I was fighting to get back what we had, but that was never going to happen because so much had changed over the last two years.
"Maybe we need to stop focusing on the past and start over."
Sucking in a deep breath, I exhaled slowly. Every part of my plan for tonight included recreating a special moment between us when really I should have been creating new memories. "Do you wanna get out of here?" I smirked. "Take a ride down the backroads."
"Yeah." She smiled.
We loaded into my old truck, and we did what we had done a hundred times in it: drove the dark back dirt roads of Bridgewater with nothing for miles except open pastures and livestock.
"Isn't this where this truck broke down that one night?" She leaned forward, staring out the front window.
"What?" I scowled. "This truck is a beast. It's never broken down."
She laughed. "Yes, it did." Her gaze shifted to me. "How could you not remember? It broke down in the middle of the night on your way to drop me off at home, and we didn't have any signal to call for help, so we had to wait it out, and it turned out it was just overheated."
I laughed. "Oh yeah." The corner of my lip twitched as my gaze met hers. "Truth?" Her eyes narrowed. "We didn't break down. I just wasn't ready to take you home yet."
"Are you freaking serious?" Her grin widened.
I nodded, laughing. "I knew the exact spot to stop where we'd have no service."
"I had no idea." She chuckled. "I really thought we broke down."
My song came on the radio, and Taylor leaned forward, turning it up. "This is my favorite song of yours."
She listened to my music.
Everything about that made me smile.
I slammed on the brakes.
"What the..."
"This is the spot," I said, shoving the truck in park before jumping out, running around, and opening her door. "This is where we 'broke down.'"
"Okay." She narrowed her eyes. "What are we doing now?"
"Trust me."
I helped her out of the truck and brought her around, stopping in front of the bright headlights just in time for the chorus of the song.
Grabbing her hand and lifting it, I spun her. " I just wanna spin you round and round ," Sliding my arm around her waist, I pulled her body to mine and swayed my hips with hers to the beat, " this dirt road all night long, underneath the full moonlight ." Our bodies moved together, and it suddenly felt like everything was right. We were right together. Our bodies fit perfectly together.
"This isn't the song you wrote for me."
I stopped dropping my arms. She was wrong. This was the first song I'd ever written about her, but she wouldn't have known that. Every song I ever wrote was for her. "I never should have written Heartless."
"Yes, you should have. I deserved it, and it was a number one hit."
"No, you didn't, and I owe you an apology."
She huffed out a laugh. "Don't be ridiculous," she shoved out of my arms as she turned away from me. "What do you have to apologize for? You didn't do anything wrong." Her gaze dropped to the ground.
My large hand wrapped around her arm before pulling her back to me. "I let you down." My hands cupped her face, sliding back, my fingers tangled in her hair and around the back of her neck. Her eyes lifted, meeting mine. "I knew something wasn't right, but I didn't question it, and I should have. I should have known better. I should have known you better."
She shook her head, the tears in her eyes flickering in the headlights.
I dropped my head, my mouth lingering over hers. "I should have stayed and fought for you, but instead, I went to a bar and got drunk. I'm sorry I didn't fight for you, but that will never happen again." Her eyes closed, and a tear streamed down her cheek. "I'm fighting for us this time."
She lifted her chin, brushing her lips against mine, and I claimed her mouth, smashing my lips to hers. Everything inside of me exploded as she melted into me. At that moment, it felt like the past faded, and it didn't matter anymore. It felt like we were meant to be.
Breaking from the kiss, I dropped my forehead to hers as our labored breathing filled the space between us. "I still love you, Taylor. Even as mad as I was, I never stopped loving you, and I wanted to. I wanted to hate you, and I think sometimes I convinced myself that I did, but I didn't." I lifted my head, my gaze meeting hers. "You are my soulmate."
"I never stopped loving you either," she choked out.
"Then let's do this for real. Let's try to forget about Caleb and our bad choices, focus on us, and see if we have a future together."
They say love conquers all, but I knew we still had a lot of obstacles standing in front of us to hurdle. As kids, we'd always wanted the same things, but our paths had taken different roads, and I wasn't sure those roads would meet at the end anymore, but I wasn't giving up this time without a fight.