Wasted

Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Taylor

S itting on the dock wrapped in one of the white fluffy towels, I sipped the glass of whiskey Cole poured me after round two in the water and round three on the deck, and all I could think about was getting back to the house for round four in the shower and five on the bed.

Hopefully.

The dock creaked as Cole stepped beside me with a matching white towel wrapped around his waist, sinking down so his bare feet hung over into the water.

"What happened between you and my mother?"

My lip curled up. I knew there was a lot of my life that Cole was curious about, but one night without a conversation about the past would be nice. "She's a grieving mother who needed someone to blame for Caleb's death. I was the obvious choice."

"How did she end up with Caleb's life insurance?"

My gaze flashed to his. How did he know that? Bailey. "I gave it to her."

"Why would you do that?" I shrugged, dropping my gaze to the glass in my lap. "What happened, Taylor? The truth."

I didn't want to cause drama between the family, but I also didn't want to lie. If he found out that his mom had the money, he could definitely find out what happened. "Your mom said some things, and I just didn't have it in me to fight with her. So I gave it to her. I thought maybe it would bring the peace back. Maybe she wouldn't see me as the heartbreaking gold-digging murderer she thought I was." I shook my head. "I'd already lost everyone, and your mom was like a second mom to me after I lost mine. I didn't want to lose anyone else. But it didn't change anything. The only person I have left is Bailey, and truthfully, I thought I would lose her too."

"But you didn't."

Shaking my head, I smiled. "No. She was the only one who called me on my bullshit. She knew it was a show from the beginning."

He dropped his head. "I should have known, too." His tone was low and filled with guilt. "But you have me too now."

I twisted to him. "Right here, right now. I want to get all of the bad past out of our system. Ask me whatever you want, but after tonight, I want to put it in the past and move forward."

His gaze swept over my face, his eyes narrowing as if he were contemplating my words. "Yeah, okay." He nodded.

"You can say anything you need to say or ask anything you need to ask, and after tonight, we lay it all to rest." He nodded. "So let's get it all out tonight."

His gaze shifted forward as he sucked in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "All I could think about for months, maybe even a year after I left, was what I could have done differently or what I would have done differently if I had known it was our last night together." His gaze dropped to the glass in his hands. "I didn't know then that it was all part of a plan, but I still wonder if I could have done anything different that would have changed your decision."

I shook my head. "Don't do this to yourself, Cole. You didn't do anything wrong; in fact, you did everything right, and nothing would have changed my mind. I wanted you to do what you were born to do."

His eyes met mine. "I was born to love you."

I smiled, my eyes blurring with tears. "But would that have been enough for you?"

"You don't think I could have been happy living here with you?"

Pursing my lips, I shook my head. "No. I thought you were destined for bigger things, and I was right. Look at you now."

Blowing out a sigh, his gaze met mine. "Maybe you're right. Maybe small-town life wouldn't have been enough for me."

"Would it be enough for you now?"

He raised his shoulders. "I don't know. I love being here with you, but my life is in Nashville now, and I don't know if this small town would be enough for me anymore."

"Don't you ever get tired of the big city lights and loud noises? Don't you ever miss the quiet?"

"I did for a long time. I hated Nashville, but I think that's because you weren't there." He brought his glass to his lips and took a sip. "Did Caleb ever apologize to you?"

I nodded. "He did, but he didn't have to because it was my choice to let you go. He left me a letter like he did everyone else."

"Were you ever angry with him?"

I shook my head. "No, I understood him. He needed Kylie to hate him so she could move on. He needed you to hate him so you'd leave. He couldn't stand the thought of him holding the two of you back from your dreams to watch him die."

"What did Caleb say when he found out about River? Did he hate me?"

"He didn't say anything for a long time. He didn't acknowledge it at all until after River was born. Then he asked Bailey all the time to see pictures of her. He would get so excited when Bailey would bring him new pictures."

He cleared his throat. "Kylie brought River to meet him before he passed."

"She did?" He nodded. My eyes dropped to his hands as his fingers tapped the glass nervously. "Am I missing something?"

His tongue slipped out, wetting his dry lips as he stared silently into the darkness for a long moment. "River's not biologically mine."

My eyes widened, and my lips parted. "But..." Confusion twisted through me. "I don't understand. Did you and Kylie not..."

"We can't remember," he cut me off. "We got really drunk, and the next morning, we woke up together with no memory of anything. We both realized we fucked up and agreed to be friends and go our separate ways. A few weeks later, she showed up in Nashville with two pink lines on a stick. We both assumed that something had happened, but we didn't know anything about conception dates, fertility windows, and all that stuff until later. After we found out it was a girl, Kylie told me that she thought there was a chance it was Caleb’s. By then, Kylie and I had become pretty close."

"So, how did you find out River wasn't yours?"

"Kylie tried to call Caleb a hundred times, but he wouldn't answer. I told her that regardless, I would help her raise River. After River was born, Kylie had to know, so we did the DNA testing, and it came back that I wasn't the father, but the father and I shared a bloodline. Then Kylie found out Caleb was sick. She didn't tell me she was going to see him until it was over, but I wasn't angry. I was glad he got to meet River before he passed away."

"I had no idea." My brows furrowed, thinking back. "But that makes so much sense. All he ever wanted was a family with her, and he was so happy his last few weeks." My gaze flicked up, meeting his. "So why are you telling me now?"

"Kylie and I agreed we'd let everyone believe River was mine, but now she wants Wyatt to adopt River after they get married. She wants her to grow up in a two-parent home out here where we grew up."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I feel like I owe it to my brother to make sure his daughter has the best life possible with the best opportunities possible, and I think that having two parents living in the same home, showing her what real love looks like, and loving her unconditionally is what's best for her." I smiled. "And having a super cool uncle that spoils her rotten."

"Will Kylie bring her to see you in Nashville?"

"We haven't worked out all the details yet."

"I think whatever you and Kylie decide will be what's best for River."

A low rumble of thunder sounded, and Cole looked up to the sky. "We should probably head back."

I nodded, gripping my towel tighter as I pushed to my feet. We quickly moved to collect all of our belongings before riding the gator back to my house in silence.