Waysider (The Voyants Book 1)

Chapter 16

He got on the bus and rode it deep into the city.

Before, Cal would’ve been someone who looked out the window. Now it just felt like jabbing at an open wound, a barrage of reminders about the things he could never do again. So Cal glared down at the stained floor of the bus, his jaw clenched. The engine rumbled beneath his sneakers.

Once again, Cal had no idea where he was going. All he knew was that he wasn’t returning to Laura Stag’s apartment—not tonight. He’d terrified her enough for one day. Briefly, he thought about going back to the diner, and seeing if the blond guy was there. Cal couldn’t tell him the truth about why he was so agitated, but he had liked it, being mistaken for someone living. Feeling like a normal person again.

Cal didn’t consider it for long, though. Going back there was too risky. The guy was a student at Else Bellows, and something could happen to expose Cal, putting a target directly on him. The diner was out, then. Cal thought of Teresa next, and he dismissed that idea even faster. She was too far. Something could happen to Cass while he was gone, and besides that, Cal wasn’t sure how far he could go from his sister, anyway. They’d never tested the distance they could tolerate between them before bad things started happening. All Cal knew was that the farther he was from Cass, the less he felt like himself. Details became fuzzy around the edges, like the memory of his mother’s face, or the sound of his father’s voice. One time, it had taken him an hour to remember his little brother’s name.

So Cal stayed on the bus. He rode it for so long that the other seats began to empty. Cal had no way to track the time. The watch he’d always worn, the one he’d been wearing the night he went into the river, had stopped. Cal thought it was strange that he could feel his heartbeat, could feel the warmth of his own skin, but his watch had stopped working. Forever stuck at the last time he remembered looking at it. He’d been sitting at the bus stop in Albany, waiting for Cass.

She wore that watch now. She’d never said anything about it, and neither had he.

Cal rode the bus until there were only two other passengers. He heard the squeak of brakes as the bus prepared to stop again, and Cal turned his head to see where they were. They’d been driving down a road that was city on one side, and a rocky wall on the other. Beyond the wall, there was only dirt, darkness, and shrubbery. Up ahead, the bus stop was little more than a bench and a sign, with a single streetlight shining over them. Cal noticed a small path behind the bench. It led up into the darkness. He searched the hills above, but he didn’t see the glow of houses or distant roads.

As it drew to a halt, the bus released a low hiss into the night. Something about that narrow path had caught Cal’s attention. On impulse, he launched out of his seat and hurried down the aisle. The bus driver was already closing the door, since it was obvious no one was getting up, but Cal ran through it. He heard the door click shut behind him as he walked past the bench and headed up the night-blackened hill.

And up, and up, and up.

Cal had been in the best shape of his life when he died, but by the time he reached the top, he knew that even he would be struggling if he’d made this climb in his old body. Cal must’ve gone a mile, at least, most of it steep terrain. But then the path leveled out, and he found himself standing on a flattened part of the hill. Cal’s eyebrows rose as he absorbed the view in front of him.

It had to be the best overlook in San Francisco.

And apparently one of the city’s best-kept secrets, Cal thought, noting the absence of tire tracks. If anyone knew about this place, there would be people parked everywhere, necking, talking, filling the air with music and the smell of gasoline. But the small stretch of gravel was completely empty except for him, and it felt like the only sounds left in the world were the wind and the distant echo of sirens.

Cal walked to the edge, his shoes crunching with every step. He had nothing to be afraid of, he realized. Even if he slipped off the edge and hit every rock in the fall, nothing would happen to him. He’d just get right back up and go on his way. Cal tried to feel excited about it, about the fact that he was damn near invincible now.

But all he felt was dull, hollow loss.

He thought of those hours on the bus again—how just looking out the window had been too hard for him. It wasn’t enough, Cal’s search for the medium and his hunt for the guy that had ruined their lives. He needed more. He had to do more.

Without thinking, Cal drew his foot back and tried to kick a rock. His shoe went right through it, of course, and he stumbled. A hot rush of fury surged through Cal’s veins. He turned and glared down at the rock, his jaw set. God, he was so fucking sick of this. Sick of feeling weak and useless and stuck on the sidelines.

If you’re still in the game, you’re playing.

As Coach’s voice echoed through his head, Cal’s frustration hardened into resolve. He’d never given up before, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to now. He could do this. He could move a tiny fucking rock. He’d knocked over that candle at Laura’s, hadn’t he? Cal blew out a breath and went through his old warm-ups, bouncing on his feet and bending his arms behind his head, stretching them. Then, with the silence ringing in his ears, Cal went still and completely focused, staring at the rock as if it was a football and all those lights were shining down on the field. Hundreds of people in the stands. Green grass and a black sky.

Move, he thought.

Nothing. The rock sat there, silent and mocking.

Cal tried again, and again, and again. Move. Move. Move! But the rock didn’t so much as wobble.He felt like an idiot, or a child playing a game of make believe. Thankfully there was no one around to witness his failure, so he kept going until his head started pounding. The pain didn’t make sense, since he was fucking dead. Cal gritted his teeth and his hands clenched. Then he bellowed, his entire body shaking, sweat dripping down his temples. He stared at the rock so hard that pain shot through his eyes, the veins in his hand standing on end as he held it out.

The rock… shifted.

Cal’s chest heaved. For an instant, he wondered if he’d imagined it. If he’d just wanted it so badly that his mind had made it up.

Only one way to find out, he thought.

At the same moment Cal lifted his hand, readying himself to start anew, an explosion of terror took hold of his body and made him stagger. His arm fell and he caught his balance by flattening one hand against the ground. Cal swore and looked out at the city.

It was Cass. Again. He knew she was probably fine, but Cal would never forgive himself if something actually happened and he had ignored her call for help. It would take him at least two hours to get back, and that was if he got lucky with the buses. And if he’d actually estimated the distance correctly.

He’d run, Cal decided. He would run across the entire fucking state if he had to.

Instead of heading for the dirt path that had led him here, Cal turned his head and looked out at the city again. He admired all the bright lights, and the glint of the ocean beyond. Cal took a brief, steadying breath, his eyes narrowing in determination.

Then he ran toward the edge, and jumped.