Cal’s lungs burned. For what felt like the thousandth time, he reminded himself that the pain wasn’t real. But he couldn’t suppress the rush of relief when he finally spotted the railing to Laura’s apartment up ahead, gleaming from a nearby streetlight. Cal jogged down the short flight of steps and went through the door, breathing hard. The sound of a squealing tea kettle filled his ears.
“You’re late,” Laura said without turning. She poured the hot water into her usual mug. Cal was relieved to note she was wearing jeans tonight, and a striped sweater that looked like someone hadn’t been able to choose what color of yarn to use, so they’d gone with all of them.
“I missed my bus,” he replied.
Laura looked at Cal like he’d said something idiotic. “Why are you taking the bus? Just teleport. And why are you still acting like you can’t pick up shit? The cat’s pretty much out of the bag with that one.”
He stared back at her, nonplussed. He was about to ask the voyant what she meant when Cal noticed how dilated Laura’s pupils were. “Hey, are you okay?”
In response, she turned away from him and strode toward the table. She was as graceful as ever, but there was something off about the way she moved, Cal thought. Laura’s reply floated over her shoulder. “I took more mushrooms than I usually do. I need to go in deeper.”
Cal hesitated. He followed her to the table and slid into the other chair. “Uh, is that safe?”
“Now you’re concerned for my safety?” Laura countered. She took a drink of her tea.
As she set the mug back down, Cal’s mouth tightened. He finally understood what Cass meant when she told him about the times that she had no clue what to say. And even though he didn’t want to know, he heard himself ask, “Is it dangerous, what we’re doing?”
Laura gazed down at the table, pressing her palms against her warm cup. Her mouth was slightly pursed, a look that Cal had already started to recognize—she was thinking. He waited patiently, his elbows resting on the table. Moments later, Laura’s eyes met his. For the first time, Cal noticed how blue they were. Not like his, which were darker, but a pale blue, like the shimmer of clear ocean water.
“It’s all dangerous,” Laura said flatly, those beautiful eyes going hard. “Interacting with any part of the spirit world, in any way. Even having this conversation is a risk. I am allowing you access to me.”
Cal realized that, by telling him this, she was trusting him. He wanted to be worthy of it. He pressed his elbows into the table and looked at Laura steadily. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.” Her tone wasn’t hard or biting—only matter-of-fact. It made Cal wonder what she’d been through, and his mind filled with the images he’d seen the night they met. The glimpses he’d gotten from Laura as he moved through her. The needle, the man, the gun. Drug overdose, she’d said. But there was obviously more to it than that. What had happened to make Laura so guarded? So alone?
Cal’s attention returned to her when she asked, “How is your sister?”
He considered the question. Cass was doing… surprisingly well. As far as he could tell, she actually attended all her classes, and she studied at that rickety desk in her room every night. Her roommates made her laugh, which was something he didn’t think he’d ever witness again. All the drinking and the drugs had stopped. Cal could see the change in Cass, as if a light had turned on, and he would do anything to make sure that it didn’t go out again.
He couldn’t say any of that to Laura, though. People judged his sister because they didn’t understand her. Hell, he was guilty of it himself. But after what he’d watched her go through back in New York, Cal wasn’t sure he could handle seeing that look in Laura’s eyes. That goddamn awful look of wariness or pity.
“Well, she hasn’t been expelled yet, so I guess that means she’s thriving,” was all he said out loud.
An amused smile touched Laura’s lips. “That’s great, I think.”
“For her it is.” Cal left it at that, and Laura didn’t pry.
They sat like that for another moment, Laura warming her hands on the tea. Then she exhaled and nodded. “Okay. I’m ready.”
She set the white mug aside and extended her arms across the table. That was new. Cal tried not to seem startled as he reached back for her. Laura closed her eyes, and her fingers curled softly around his. She was so solid and warm. Cal told himself not to think about it, since he needed to be focused on the person they were looking for, but every thought he had kept going back to Laura. To her smell. Her skin.
She didn’t seem to be having the same problem. She sat there, utterly still, her face relaxed. And no wonder, Cal told himself irritably. She wasn’t some touch-starved dead guy. Focus. He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, picturing that night for the millionth time. The boy’s moonlit, frightened face. The sight of him putting his hands on Cass.
He felt Laura’s body slacken, just like it had last time. Her breathing deepened. “I think I have something,” she murmured.
Encouraged, Cal kept hold of the images, despite how much it fucking sucked to constantly think about his own death. He heard the sound of his sister’s screams. He remembered grabbing hold of that cold steel truss. He saw that black, gleaming water rushing up to meet him.
They’d only been sitting there for a few minutes when his memories were invaded by a burst of emotion. By now, Cal could recognize Cass’s fear in an instant.
“Fuck, I need to go,” he said, starting to rise from the chair.
Laura’s eyes snapped open, and her hold on him tightened. “If you leave right now, I’ll lose the connection, and I don’t know if I can get it back,” she warned.
Cal paused, a war raging inside him. God, he wanted this. He wanted to find that asshole so bad he could taste it like a bitter flavor on his tongue. Still wavering, Cal mentally reached for his twin, imagining her light. He found her in seconds, and relief bloomed in his chest when Cal realized that Cass’s terror had abated now. She was fine, he told himself. The panic had probably been just another false alarm. It was Cass—she could take care of herself. Even that night on the bridge, he hadn’t been the one to save her.
“Keep going,” Cal said, sitting back down.
Laura nodded and closed her eyes again. Cal did the same. Minutes ticked by. He fought the urge to tap his foot restlessly. How long did this sort of thing usually take? Shit, he was being a dick again. Cal was just telling himself that he’d wait as long as he had to when he felt Laura twitch. His eyes flew open. Laura’s expression had tightened, and she flinched. Seeing that, Cal’s pulse quickened.
“What is it? Did you find him?”
“No. It’s something else. Someone else,” she added faintly. Cal was on the verge of asking more questions when Laura’s face pinched in concentration. He fell silent, not wanting to break whatever connection she’d made. Another moment passed. Then something in Laura’s posture slowly shifted. “Who are you?”
Her voice rang through the room, strong and unafraid. A command. Cal had never heard her talk like that before, and he half-expected the spirit to answer. But silence swelled in the room. There was something… menacing about it, and Cal swore he felt the temperature drop around them. Unease began to creep through his veins. Cal squeezed Laura’s hands and leaned close, keeping his voice low as he said, “Laura? Do you need to stop?”
“Stay away,” she ordered. Cal knew she wasn’t talking to him.
“Laura, what can I do?” he asked sharply, his grip on her fingers tightening.
In the next breath, a sound exploded through the small apartment—the glass in the windows was rattling, Cal realized, keeping his focus on their surroundings now, assessing every shadow, every flicker of movement. The air felt thicker, somehow. Cal couldn’t shake the sense that something was about to appear. Something that felt powerful, and intended to harm the girl in front of him.
He couldn’t sit there and do nothing. Fury shot through Cal’s veins, and the same cold determination he felt every time he looked across the field at his opponent. Cal launched to his feet and crossed the room in an instant. He grabbed hold of the wardrobe and shoved it. The legs screeched on the floor as he put it in front of the window, blocking the glass from whatever was trying to come in. Then Cal spun and grabbed the baseball bat Laura kept propped against the wall. He positioned himself in front of her and glared into the darkest part of the apartment. “I dare you,” he said quietly.
The rattling glass slowed. A minute later, it went completely still. But Cal didn’t move, not for several minutes. His bright eyes scanned the room, over and over, his body tensed and ready for any threat.
A sound from behind finally pulled him from his sharp focus. Laura. Cal turned and knelt beside her, curling his fingers around the armrest to stop himself from touching Laura’s arm, like he wanted to. “Are you all right?” he asked.
But she wasn’t paying attention to him—Laura was frowning at the wardrobe Cal had pushed in front of the window. After a moment, her eyes went to the bat he was still holding, and her frown deepened. “You shouldn’t be able to do that,” Laura said.
Cal knew from the way she said it that she was mostly talking to herself. He straightened and moved back to the chair across from hers, giving Laura a confused frown of his own. “What do you mean? You’re the one who just told me that I was capable of it.”
“Yes, but it takes an extraordinary amount of energy to do anything. I’ve known a spirit to fade for weeks after it opened a cupboard. And I’ve never seen one able to move a wardrobe.”
As if on cue, the baseball bat slipped through Cal’s fingers. It hit the floor with a clatter. He looked down at it, thinking about Laura’s revelation. Cal knew it probably had something to do with his sister. They’d always been connected, and not even death had changed that. Cass was the strength to his steadiness. If Cal had more capabilities than most spirits, it didn’t take a genius to guess it was because of her.
“What just happened?” he asked finally, raising his gaze to Laura’s. He wasn’t talking about the wardrobe, and she knew it.
Laura looked back at him, those blue eyes of hers wary and resigned. “I told you it was dangerous. If you go wandering through the dark, you’re going to find things you don’t like.”
With that, she rose from the table. She moved more slowly than usual, and Cal could clearly see how exhausted Laura was. How much she’d given to help him tonight. But he couldn’t let it go. Even though the windows had gone silent, he could still hear the way they’d rattled in the frames. He could feel that cold, black presence drawing closer and closer.
“What did the spirit say to you, Laura?” Cal asked.
She reacted to the question. It was subtle, but he saw it—a soft, fleeting jolt. Laura wrapped her arms around herself and turned slightly, looking down at the floor. Her voice was quiet. “It said it could see me.”
Cal knew there was more. “What else?” he pressed.
As she met his gaze, Cal realized how scared Laura was. How much she’d been hiding. But now he could see it, shining nakedly from her eyes.
“And then it said your name.”