Chapter 25 Reason Seventeen #3
“What am I not allowed to be mad at you over?” I said. He nudged his head toward the tiny little enclosure. I stared at it, trying to understand what the hell he was trying to show me, and then it clicked. “Is that a house?”
His cheeks flushed, and he stared at his shoes. “I know it isn’t a mansion or anything, but it’s a start. Our start. I spent all my savings on it, that’s why I couldn’t get you a big ring. I should have asked you first, and you’ve got every right to be angry with me, but I really hope you’re not.”
I leaned in, wrapping my arms around his waist. “That was your money, Gray. You didn’t have to—you shouldn’t have .
..” I pulled away, wiping my wet eyes once again.
“No one has ever treated me the way you do. No one. How could I ever be mad at you?” A thought crossed my mind that left me with a general feeling of unease, and I began to worry that he’d just done all of this in vain.
“Where are we going to put it? I don't think Mom’s HOA is going to be cool with a shed parked on her front lawn.”
“I think that’s my cue,” Marty said. He stepped forward, holding a handful of papers.
He stared across the clearing, toward the lake, and motioned at the scenery ahead of us.
"When we moved here, I didn't even know this was part of the property.
A month ago, Grayson brought me out here.
Told me what this place meant to you boys.
What you shared at this lake. What my son took from both of you.
I'm just happy that I can help make this a place of hope and maybe get rid of some of that hurt.
" He handed the papers to me. “This plot of soil, this place, it’s yours now.”
“He’s signing over twenty acres to us.” Gray pointed at the oak tree.
“I thought we could put the house there. We can make this a happy place again. Like it was before. I know that there’s been a lot of hurt here—because of Trevor, and because of me and that ring—but you said you wanted this.
For us to build a home here. Just you, me, and a little dog. ”
Dog-Dog yapped in approval.
“You mean it? We can live here?”
“It’s ours if you want it. Already have the electric set up and everything,” he said, pointing to a newly erected power pole that I hadn’t even noticed.
“You bought us a house.” I pressed my head against his chest, breathing in his scent.
“I can’t believe any of this is real. When I came home, I only thought I’d be here for a few weeks, and now you’re giving me forever.
” I turned to Marty. “We can’t accept this.
It’s too much. This is your land, Marty. ”
Marty pointed at Gray. “You’ve given my boy his smile back. You didn’t see him when you were gone. Kent, you didn’t see him walking around miserable all the time. I haven’t seen him this happy in two decades.”
“Daddy,” Gray warned.
Marty flung his hands in the air. “No. I stood by in silence for years. Never again. For twenty years, you were just skating by. I was a part of that. A big part of it. I dragged you back here when you were just getting your singing career off the ground. I took that dream away from you because I thought it was the right thing to do. Because I thought it would ‘make a man out of you.’” He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.
“I didn’t know the weight those words carried when I’d said them.
It must’ve made you feel like you couldn’t be yourself.
That I’d do to you what Kent’s dad did to him.
It kills me to know you were hiding yourself away all this time.
This is my way of making amends. For my actions.
For Essie’s. I want to do this. I need to do it.
You are just as you’re meant to be. The way God made you to be.
I would have accepted you if I’d known. I would have fought for you.
I didn’t get to back then, but I can now. ”
I shoved Gray’s arm and choked back a sob. “Oh my God, Gray, go hug your dad.”
“And as for you, Kent—”
“No. Don’t you dare. I don’t have any tears left to cry. If you start in on me, I might just melt into a puddle.”
“Melt away, kiddo. I’m saying this. If I’d known what happened at the lake that night, I would have tanned Trevor’s hide so hard he wouldn’t have walked right for years.
You were like a son to me, just as much as my own boys.
You might not be mine by blood, but you’re still mine.
You hear me? You’re family now. Thank you for loving my son. Thank you for giving him back to me.”
Gray still hadn’t moved a muscle, and Marty looked like he was going to break at any moment. I was right there with him on that ledge of emotional instability, so I made my way to him and scooped him into my arms.
“I’m calling you Dad from here on out.”
His grip tightened around me. “I’d love that, son.”
Once the sun had set, Gray and Christian constructed a campfire.
Gray said it was because the air was chilly, but I knew what he was doing.
It was his way of reclaiming this place for us.
The last time there had been threats of flames, we’d just been ripped away from each other.
With that campfire, the flames would forge us together.
When the smoke cleared, the past would be burned to ash.
I stood next to them, listening to Gray and Christian shoot the shit. Mom was at my side, her arm clinging around my waist.
“I sure am going to miss you, baby,” she whispered. “Having you come back—getting to finally make things right—well, you don’t know how much it’s meant to me.”
“I’m the one who should be thanking you. You let me come home. You didn’t have to do that, Mom.”
She shook her head. “Of course, I did. I owed you that much. You don’t know how much it kills me that I let Joel send you away. You were my baby and I just let him throw you out”
“I don’t blame you. Not anymore. It hurt at first, but he always had that hold over you.
After he died, you came alive. You came into your own.
” I pointed at the debs, standing by the shore.
“You and those women are what Christians should strive to be. You don’t just cast people aside.
You guys scooped me up with open arms. I wish you could’ve been at church that day.
The way they stood up for what was right—the way they stood up for me—I might not believe in God, but I believe in them.
” I squeezed her hand, maybe a little tighter than I deserved. “I believe in you, Mom.”
“I’ve always believed in you, Kent.”
After Mom made her exit from the campfire, turning her sights on Dottie and the rest of the debs by the shore, I cuddled up next to Gray.
Christian handed me an edible from his tin, which I promptly snatched from his hand and popped into my mouth.
He offered Gray one as well, but he just laughed it off and pulled me closer to his side.
Christian stared at us for a while, observing the way Gray’s hands danced up and down my arm. His brow was knitted together as he studied us.
“If you stare any harder, my fiancé is probably going to fire you in a fit of jealous rage.”
Gray rolled his eyes. “For the hundredth time, Christian’s not gay.”
Christian opened his mouth, only to shut it seconds later. After popping another edible, he slid the tin case into his pocket and drew in a deep breath. “I’m not,” he finally agreed. “But I’m starting to think I might be bi.”
I gaped at him.
He winked at me.
Gray slowly shifted his position until he was standing in front of me, barricading me with his beautiful body. “Half-pint?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“I’d like for you to go inside and shut the curtains.”
I arched an eyebrow at him. “Why?”
He bared his fangs at Christian. “Nothing to worry your pretty little head over. Me and Christian just need to have ourselves a chat about personal boundaries.”
I sighed when I saw his hand forming a fist at his side.
“Jesus Christ, Gray. Just piss on me and call it a day.” I flung my hands in the air and walked away, stopping after only a few paces.
I glanced back over my shoulder. “No. Scratch that. I’m an open-minded man when it comes to sex, but I draw the line at watersports. ”
When Gray refused to drop the subject, I sauntered off long enough for him to threaten Christian within an inch of his life.
I spotted Dottie standing at the shore, staring into the distance.
Bernice stood at her left, rubbing her hand against Dottie’s back.
Mom and Elmyra were standing off to the side, both staring at her with watery eyes.
The fire crackled behind me as I walked toward them, its embers flickering in the half-light, dancing through the sky like an endless sea of fireflies.
“You okay?” I said to Dottie, standing at her side.
She leaned in and laid her head against my shoulder. “I’m doing fine, sweetie. Mighty fine.”
This lake. It hurt to know how much it had taken from her. Her son had been ripped out of her life because of a simple mistake. For placing her trust in a man who weaponized scripture.
“I think I’d like to try to get the lake renamed. I don’t know if it’s legal or anything, but maybe we could just spread the word around town. Put up a sign or something.”
“Well, sugar, why would you want to do that?” Bernice asked.
I glanced over at Dottie. “Because it’s taken enough. I think it’s about time we started taking back. Lake Isaac has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”
Dottie smiled and slowly nodded her head. “I think that’s a beautiful idea, Kent.”
“This lake used to be a place of fear. It took everything from us, but it’s done taking. Let’s make this a place of hope. For him. For us.”
“He would have loved you, baby. My Isaac would have been proud to know someone like you.”
“I think I would’ve loved him right back.” I reached up, cupping her face in my hands. “If he was anything like you, I know I would have."
Dottie reached into her purse, letting her hand linger when she found whatever it was she’d been searching for.
“There’s something I’d like you to have.
Something I’ve wanted to give you for a while now.
” She pulled out a small doll, and my jaw trembled when I realized what it was. Of who she once belonged to.
“Kent, this is Hattie.” She held Isaac’s doll out, handing her to me.
I shook my head. I couldn’t take that from her.
It was the last piece of her son. The piece they’d kept hidden away from his daddy.
Dottie touched my cheek and nodded. “I want you to have her. I don’t need a doll to remember what my baby meant to me, or what I meant to him.
It’ll do my soul a world of good just knowing she’s in good hands.
Maybe one day, you’ll have a little one to give her to.
” Dottie leaned forward and kissed my forehead.
“The world is moving in the right direction. It’s because of people like you. People like Gray.”
“People like you, Dottie,” I managed, though only just. My voice shook, and tears were fresh in my eyes as I took Hattie and held her to my chest. “I used to think hearts couldn’t change.
That once people were set in their ways, that was it.
” I glanced over at the debs and wiped the tear that fell down my cheek.
“It’s never too late. Sometimes they just need to be shown. You showed them.” She pointed at the rest of the denim debutantes and chuckled. “They left their church for you.” She dipped her head in Gray’s direction. “For both of you. You boys are ours. Always have been, and always will be.”
***
The party started to unwind, and I was growing antsy, wanting nothing more than to explore our new little homestead and crawl into bed with Gray and Dog-Dog.
My death glares did nothing to convey the message to those around me, but eventually Mom caught my gaze and nodded.
She made an unnecessarily hostile announcement that it was time for everyone to “get the hell out of here before I have Rhonda and Sam Elliot run you over with her Fiat,” and the group said their goodbyes.
She was the last to leave that night, and before she did, she pulled Gray and me in for a hug, insisting we make plans for weekly dinners back at the house.
Once she was gone, Gray and I sat on the tiny porch of our tiny home, snuggled up next to each other. Dog-Dog was resting in my lap, lightly snoring.
“I didn’t think we’d ever get here,” I said. “That we’d get to have this. It still feels like a dream.”
He smiled at me, his eyes half-lidded with sleep. “Thank you for coming home to me.”
“Thanks for letting me come home,” I said. He wrapped an arm around me, holding me as close as he could. “Gray?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Does it bother you? Us not believing in the same thing, I mean.”
He shook his head. “Your journey is yours. As long as I get to travel by your side, that’s more than okay with me.” His lips brushed against the side of my face. “If I’m wrong about it all, then we get to sleep side by side in that black abyss of yours for eternity.”
“And if I’m wrong?”
His face went serious, and he stared at the sky, almost in defiance.
“Then I’ll tear the gates of Hell wide open, and I’ll carry you home.
” Dog-Dog yawned and hopped up, heading for the front door.
Gray reached behind me, resting one arm against my back and the other under my thighs.
His knees popped as picked me up. “Ready to go home, Half-pint?”
This had been a death of sorts. The death of a lonely existence.
The death of a future without him at my side.
As I stared into his eyes, I saw no life flashes.
No long-forgotten memories playing out in front of me like a movie.
Instead, I saw a look of love so heavy, it left me breathless.
It poured every word that had gone unspoken for twenty years directly into me. It filled me with hope and promise.
A promise of him.
The promise of us.
“I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you, Two-liter.”
The End