Chapter 12
12
“ T ell me, me love, did I make the right choice?” Astrid asked as the moon kissed the horizon.
Before Melody could answer, Astrid spun her around.
Melody’s gentle giggle tugged at her heartstrings. It was a sound that Astrid hadn’t heard in what felt like years. The weight of the moment couldn’t be dismissed. She understood all too well that Melody’s joy stemmed from the safety that came with the union with Laird McFair.
Melody flashed her a wide grin as she gave a little shrug. “Maybe. But it’s a bit late for ye to change yer mind.”
“I just want to make sure that ye’re happy,” Astrid said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind the little girl’s ear.
“There’s nay reason for ye to think otherwise. Look around, have ye ever seen so many smilin’ faces? Chalium Castle was always so dreary. Did ye nae notice?”
Astrid let out a light chuckle as she spun Melody around once again, catching her off guard.
The music swirled around the terrace as the wedding guests wandered about, enjoying the festivities.
Although it was a small gathering, Astrid wished with all her heart that her sister was there with her. How many nights had they lain awake, gossiping about their dream men? And now here she was, married to a laird she never could have imagined in her wildest dreams.
“May I have the next dance?”
That husky voice sent a delicious shiver from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She inhaled deeply. His familiar scent enveloped her like a fluffy blanket. The musk of the deep woods and the hint of earth tickled her senses.
She turned to find the Laird before her, his lips curling into a grin.
“Of course,” she answered.
Before anyone could protest, she pushed Melody into his arms. She stepped back with a smirk on her face, knowing that the Laird could not deny her. She watched them waltz on the dance floor. A delicious smirk tickled the corner of her lips as the Laird’s eyes narrowed on her. His devilish grin made her heart flutter with excitement and wonder. Would he punish her for such a playful act?
As she watched him spin Melody around Astrid noticed his gaze always drifted back to her, softening with each rotation until she caught a glimpse of desire. Their playful interaction had consequences.
Astrid felt a warmth bloom in her chest as she kept her eyes on the Laird. There was a sensual ruggedness about him that made her heart flutter. The moment he glanced at her, her eyes dropped, and a wave of embarrassment washed over her.
She wasn’t supposed to be intrigued by him. Theirs was only a marriage of convenience. She and Melody were safe now, that was what mattered. So why then did her heart yearn to be next to him? Why did she long to feel his lips on hers?
The thought rocked her to the core. She shouldn’t want the Laird. If anything, she should be wishing this wasn’t happening to her. Yet, as she dared to shift her gaze back to him, she held her breath.
His eyes were on her, and in them, she could see his longing for her. As much as he wanted to hide it from her, she saw it—the flames of lust.
“What an event,” Eileen remarked as she came up behind her. “I have to admit, I never thought me braither would go through wit’ it. And yet here ye are, and now we’re sisters.”
She threw her arms around Astrid’s neck and pulled her into a hug. The warmth of her embrace chased away the nervousness skipping on the edges of Astrid’s thoughts. After all, the party would have to end at some point, and she’d be led to her husband’s chambers.
The thought stole every ounce of her happiness and contentment.
“Aye, sisters,” she mumbled as thoughts of her sister popped into her head. But as soon as they skipped in, they danced right back out.
“Are ye nervous?” Eileen asked as she looped her arm through Astrid’s and pulled her back into the fray.
“Nay. Should I be?” Astrid asked.
“I mean about tonight,” Eileen clarified as she picked up a glass of whiskey from the table and shoved it into Astrid’s hand. “Here. Ye’ll thank me later.”
“I dinnae think I’ll be needin’ that,” Astrid said as she set the glass back down.
Being intoxicated would only end badly, especially when she needed her wits about her if she was going to be around the Laird.
“Of course, but I just ken that some lasses prefer to be a bit tipsy before they’re summoned into their husbands’ chambers,” Eileen said before she drained the contents of her glass in one gulp and picked up another one.
“Does the Laird summon lasses to his bedchambers often?” Astrid asked.
It wouldn’t surprise her one bit if Laird McFair had a string of mistresses. Yet, the sting of jealousy still burned.
“Nay, nae Thomas. He’s far too busy to take up a hobby as common as dallyin’. I dinnae think ye have anything to worry about there. Although if ye ask me, I dinnae think he’s ever lain wit’ a woman before,” Eileen admitted.
That gave Astrid pause as her gaze drifted back to the Laird.
“Ye cannae be serious,” she said, finding it harder and harder to take her eyes off him.
The more she watched him, the more he grew on her. She knew that if she wasn’t careful, her husband would sweep her right off her feet.
“Ye’ll have to ask Maither about that, to be honest. I just have never heard of him courtin’ anyone. He’s always been so focused on the clan. And if I’m bein’ honest, I’ve never seen him laugh like that,” Eileen continued as she nodded her head toward the dance floor.
A smile tugged at Astrid’s lips as she watched the Laird enjoy his dance with Melody.
“Well, Melody does have a knack for coaxin’ people to open up,” she noted.
“’Tis nae the lass, but ye. Ye’ll nae see him dance wit’ the other children. He’s doin’ it to indulge ye,” Eileen said, a playful smirk dancing on her lips.
Astrid shook her head at the absurdity of that statement as her eyes flicked to the sea of faces watching the dance. She couldn’t ignore all the bright-eyed children in the crowd, each one displaying the same sense of wonder.
Maybe there was some truth to Eileen’s words, but Astrid wouldn’t allow herself to cling to such a notion.
The music died down as the crowd erupted in applause. Astrid’s heart fluttered as Melody came rushing back to her.
“Did ye see us? It was as if I were flyin’,” Melody gushed.
“Aye. Did ye have fun?” Astrid asked as Eileen knelt beside the girl to straighten the red ribbon around her waist.
“It was,” Melody answered.
“Well, we’re about to have even more fun. Ye see, me braither is goin’ to call for yer maither soon. And when he does, ye’ll be wit’ me for the rest of the night. I was hopin’ we could braid yer hair and have some sweets. We can even stay up all night if ye want.”
Melody’s eyes widened with excitement as Eileen painted a fun-filled evening. Yet, Astrid’s heart pounded wildly in her chest as the anxiety and anticipation rose inside her.
“If I may have yer attention,” the Laird’s voice boomed through the Great Hall, silencing the soft murmurs. “Thank ye all for comin’ and celebratin’ this occasion wit’ us. May yer lives be filled wit’ merriment and love.”
“Here, here” came the resounding reply as Astrid felt his eyes on her.
Icy fingers slithered down her back as she stepped toward the Laird. This was the moment she had feared the most. But for Melody’s sake, she would do what she had to do.
Swallowing hard, she forced herself to take another step and then another until she was at the Laird’s side. He glanced at her, and his crooked smirk made her heart leap in her throat.
“Shall we?” he asked as he offered her his arm.
Despite his voice being low and inviting, Astrid didn’t trust herself to be close to him. Looping her arm through his, she glanced at the clansfolk, who were watching and judging her every move.
As they walked side by side, the soft thud of the Laird’s boots on the stone floor was the only sound accompanying them. Out of the corner of her eye, Astrid stole glances at the Laird as her emotions oscillated between fear and curiosity.
What would happen behind closed doors? Would he be rough with her? With every step, Astrid could feel the tension mounting. Her stomach twisted into tight knots that no fisherman could untie.
Following the Laird down the dimly lit corridor, Astrid started to wonder where exactly they were going. Although she had never been to the Laird’s chambers before, she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was someplace different.
“Where are ye takin’ me? I have never been to this part of the castle before,” Astrid said, a hint of fear lacing her tone.
Violent images of the Laird betraying her flashed through her mind. Her body tensed as they stopped before heavy oak doors.
“This is the east wing of the castle,” the Laird explained. “I’ve had it renovated, but I just never got to move things into it. I figured this could be our part of the castle from now on. There’s more than enough room for Melody to have her own room as well.”
Astrid’s heart skipped a beat. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to keep her separated from Melody or if he was trying to be nice.
“Ye speak of rooms?” she managed to get out as he pushed open the doors.
“Aye. Ye’ll find four rooms in this wing of the castle. I figured ye and Melody would share one. Or if Melody wants her own room, she may have one. A room for me, and a spare for a servant if ye wish. Then again, if that doesnae suit ye?—”
“It’s fine,” Astrid blurted out, stepping up to him.
She placed her hand on his forearm as she stepped into the foyer. Her eyes widened. This wing was massive, with the rooms branching off from the entrance. Astrid couldn’t help but notice the smirk on the Laird’s face as he gestured toward one of the rooms.
“Would ye like to have a closer look?” he asked, his voice seductive and slick like a tongue trailing down her spine.
The air around her seemed to vanish as her mind went blank. It was as she had hoped, to be able to stay with Melody while keeping up appearances. Now, no one would know when she slept with her husband or even if she did.
“Is it nae to yer likin’?” Thomas asked as Astrid cupped her hand over her mouth.
“I’ve nay complaints my Laird,” she answered.
“Then why the shock? Ye look as if ye were expectin’ us to be in one chamber,” he said. Astrid bobbed her head as she swallowed hard.
“Ye made yerself very clear in me study, and I have every intention of grantin’ ye yer wish. Ye asked for space, and I have given it to ye,” the Laird said, his voice dripping with a seductive charm that seemed to wrap around her like a velvet cord. “I understand that ye may nae be comfortable bein’ so close to me, but I cannae stay in me old chambers when me wife is here.”
“I understand,” Astrid murmured, trying to stifle the desire rising within her.
Her pulse quickened at his insinuation, and she felt the room growing hotter by the minute.
“Ye’ll find that our rooms are connected, however,” the Laird added as he stepped into the bedroom.
Astrid followed him and spotted the massive bed in the center of the room. It looked like a cloud. How she wanted Melody to see it.
“I can have that boarded later if ye like.”
“This looks as if ye had renovated the wing wit’ a family in mind,” Astrid remarked, noticing how the wing would be perfect for a small family. The adjoining room would make for a perfect nursery. “What happened?”
Confusion flashed across the Laird’s face. He cocked his head as she ran her fingertips over the dusty mantelpiece.
“Did ye have a family before and boarded this wing up?” she asked.
The Laird shook his head.
His eyes followed her as she moved around the room, taking moments to admire certain paintings or items.
“This was me parents’ wing when they ruled the clan,” he added, his voice unexpectedly soft. “A storm ripped the roof off last season and damaged it. It’s taken some time, but I’ve managed to restore it—it looks decent now.”
Astrid stared at the Laird. She couldn’t believe her eyes or her ears. How could he be so kind and caring, yet so fierce and powerful?
“Ye’ve done a spectacular job. Although I never saw what it was before, I’m glad to see that it’s still here.”
“Aye, well,” the Laird said, rolling his shoulders back. “Is everything to yer liking?”
“It is,” she said, despite the tremor in her voice.
The Laird bowed low and, without another word, disappeared into the adjoining room.
Astrid’s heart thumped a violent rhythm as she stood in her chambers, the light from the fire casting forlorn shadows over the walls.
The Laird’s sudden disappearance had left her in a swirl of confusion and relief. Would he return? Was this just his way of giving her time and space?
Astrid played with the tips of her fingers as she paced the room. Each creak of the floorboards made her twist toward the door, and every pop of the fire sent jolts of panic through her.
“Och, enough of this madness,” she hissed as her eyes flicked to the door one the last time.
Like all the previous times, the door connecting her room to the Laird’s room remained shut and sealed. Refusing to play any more of his mind games, she charged toward the door.
She took a deep breath and steeled her resolve. She pushed the door open… and stopped. Her mouth dropped open, the words dangling from the tip of her tongue. Yet, all she could focus on was the Laird’s half-naked body.
“I didnae realize we were already on such terms,” the Laird said as he dropped the book he was reading.
The firelight danced across his chiseled chest, making his muscles even more defined than before.
Astrid blinked and tried to avert her gaze, but she couldn’t.
“Laird McFair,” she stammered. “Tonight… sleep… and forever more. I will be respected.”
The jumbled mess of words that came out of her made her want to turn on her heels and flee. Catching her breath, Astrid did just that and slammed the door behind her. The heat of embarrassment rushed through her as she moved about her room.
A loud knock on the door rattled her. She didn’t want to answer it, but after the spectacle she had just made, there was no way she couldn’t. Gathering all the courage she had, she moved toward the door.
“Can I help ye?” she asked through the wood.
“Aye, ye can open the door,” he answered, testing the knob.
Darting back before the door could swing open, Astrid tried to keep her composure.
“There, it’s open,” she said.
“What is goin’ on? Is there something I can help ye wit’?” he asked.
Astrid saw his beige shirt hanging off his body. Why hadn’t she noticed how big his muscles were before? And what was he doing to her? Was the world spinning, or was it her?
“Nay,” she answered and turned her back to him, before spinning back around with a harsh glare. “Were ye really plannin’ on nae callin’ for me tonight?”
A playful smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth as he moved toward her The confidence radiating from him made her heart skip a beat. She couldn’t help but admire the way he carried himself with such dignity and pride. Yet, the cockiness that she saw in him had shifted to a confident pride that only comes with governing a clan the right way.
As the Laird drew closer, her heart raced even faster. A wave of uncertainty washed over her as images of her barging into his room filled her mind. Shame jabbed at her as his eyes bored into her own.
“If there is something ye want from me,” he whispered, his hot breath fanning her cheeks, “ye’ll have to ask for it.”
Astrid mulled over his proposal. Did she want something from him? Her body yearned to be touched, to be cherished like never before, but did she have to nerve to ask for such things? Did she dare be bold enough to demand that he quench her desires?
The words stuck to her tongue, refusing to come out.
“Kiss me,” she whispered after a pause.
“Come again?”
Clearing her throat, Astrid rolled her shoulders back. “Kiss me.”
The Laird didn’t hesitate. In a flash, he closed the gap between them. His lips collided with hers with a fervor that stole her senses and wit.
The world around them faded and left only a warm tingle that spread from the core of her being.
As the Laird’s fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of her neck, Astrid froze. Becoming hyper-aware of everything, she opened her eyes to find him gripping her skirts. Inch by inch, he pulled them up till they were bunched around her hips.
“Nay, ye go too far,” she said, gasping for air.
The bliss that she swam in felt more like a tar pit determined to drown her.
“What’s wrong?” the Laird asked.
Shaking her head, she pushed him back to the doorway.
“Ye need to go,” she said. “Ye need to leave now. I’ll nae do this. I cannae.”
“Astrid, what is wrong? Just talk to me,” the Laird tried as she gave a final push and shoved him back into his chambers. Confusion flashed across his face as she slammed the door shut and bolted it.
That was way too close…
Astrid moved to the bed and plopped down, burying her face in her hands. Her body felt like a traitor, a wild thing that she could no longer trust when she was around the Laird. He pushed every button and tempted her in every manner. If she was going to protect Melody, then she couldn’t let her guard down, not even for the charming Laird McFair.
I cannae let meself get that close again. Far too much is at stake, and I willnae lose her. I cannae.