Chapter 14
14
A strid’s heart pounded against her chest as she met his intense gaze. The weight of unspoken words hung between them like a storm cloud. The chill of the Highland air wrapped around her, but it was nothing compared to the heat of his presence. She could see the determination etched on his handsome features, and a flicker of trepidation danced in her chest.
“I kenned this moment would come sooner rather than later,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking the truth aloud would make it all the more real.
She had hoped, with every fiber of her being, that they could delay the inevitable, that perhaps the fates would give her a little more time.
“Walk wit’ me,” he said, his voice firm yet laced with a tenderness that sent shivers down her spine.
Astrid hesitated, suspicion curling in her chest like a thorny vine. She crossed her arms, unwilling to let him see her vulnerability.
“Or ye can just yell at me right here,” she retorted, the bravado in her voice sounding brittle even to her own ears.
The guards stationed nearby seemed to shift uncomfortably, their eyes darting between the two of them, and she felt the heat of their scrutiny.
“Do ye truly wish to have an audience?” Thomas replied, arching an eyebrow, his dark hair mussed by the brisk wind.
Astrid glanced around, noting the wary expressions on the guards’ faces, and her resolve wavered. An audience would only fuel the fire of their already tumultuous relationship.
“Nay,” she conceded, her voice softening. “I suppose nae.”
With a reluctant nod, she fell into step with her husband, their boots crunching the frost-kissed grass as they moved away from the prying eyes.
The world around them was alive with the sounds of nature, the distant call of a hawk, and the rustle of trees swaying in the wind, yet all she could focus on was the man beside her—the man whose every word had the power to lift her spirits or shatter her heart.
As they walked, silence hung thickly between them, each step weighted with unspoken fears and long-held secrets. The brooding sky mirrored her emotions, dark clouds swirling above like the tempest in her heart.
“Why do ye keep avoidin’ me?” Thomas finally broke the silence, his voice low and earnest. “Ye act as though me presence is a burden to ye.”
“It’s nae that,” she replied, the truth spilling forth before she could stop it.
“Then what?” he demanded as his expression shifted. A flicker of pain crossed his handsome features. “Because I cannae let the rumors stand. Do ye understand? The arrangement we had was very specific. Ye’d look after me faither, and I’d keep ye safe. It didnae mean that ye’d shun me every chance ye got. I expected ye to be a bit more…”
“Civil?” she supplied.
There was no doubt in her mind that that was the right word to use. She was, after all, being obscenely rude to him, and the sad thing was that it wasn’t his fault.
“Aye,” he answered as he led her through the garden.
Astrid’s eyes widened as she realized they had gone much farther than she had expected.
“Where are ye takin’ me?” she whispered as doubt and uncertainty started to fog her judgment.
For a second, she wondered if she had made a mistake. But when the Laird stopped at the grove of trees and looked out over the glen, she found herself stunned by the beauty.
“Me faither used to take me here as a child. He would swear it was the only place in Scotland where one could lose a secret,” he said.
Astrid found herself inching closer to him. He stood so still that if she hadn’t known any better, she would have thought him a statue.
“Can ye?” she asked, caught up in the beauty of the navy-blue sky conquering the light of day. The Laird glanced over at her, confusion riddling his face. “Really lose a secret here? Or are ye just paranoid?”
“Aye, I believe ye can,” he answered with a slight chuckle. “Now, here’s where ye’re goin’ to tell me yers, and we’ll nae speak of it again.”
“What makes ye think I have secrets?”
The Laird moved closer. Astrid tried to remain as still as the crag they stood on, but when he reached for her, she instinctively recoiled from him.
“Aye, there, ye see that?” he asked. “Ye cannae be doin’ that. Have I nae proved to ye that I’ll nae harm ye?”
“Aye, ye have,” she answered as guilt pummeled her.
She knew there was no logical reason for her to fear Laird McFair. He had, after all, been so kind to her since he had taken her in. But still, she couldn’t help but feel his calloused fingers trailing up her arm.
She closed her eyes, trying to block out the images of Jenson, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t.
“Ye’re thinkin’ of another,” the Laird whispered.
There was a hint of pain in his voice that pierced her heart.
Astrid didn’t want anyone to be hurt because of her. Yet, as she looked at the Laird, it was clear that he carried her burden. Only he didn’t have a name for it.
“Aye,” she answered. “He wasnae very kind.”
“I am nae that man,” he said with such conviction that she couldn’t help but look at him in awe.
“I ken.”
“There’s nay doubt in me mind that whatever happened to ye was horrific. And I do hope that ye’ll tell me one day, but that doesnae have to be today. I am, however, goin’ to have to ask ye to stop bein’ so rude. Ye have nay right to treat me in such a manner, when all I’ve done is bein’ kind to ye.”
“Ye’re right,” Astrid mumbled as she hung her head. “And I’m sorry. There are things that happened that… well, that I’m nae proud of.”
“Laird Chalium will never touch ye again. Ye have me word. But yer lack of interest is causin’ division within me clan, and I cannae have that.”
“Ye’ve noticed, have ye nae?” she asked as she dared to steal a glance at him.
“The whole castle has,” he confirmed. “And I need a reason behind yer actions, lest it look like pure defiance.”
“It’s… complicated,” she answered, the weight of her troubled past pressing down on her chest.
As much as Astrid wanted to push away the memories, they rushed at her like a wild stampede.
“Start simple,” he urged as he folded his arms across his chest and waited for her.
“I had a sister,” Astrid began.
“Had?”
“Aye.” Astrid nodded. “She died seven years ago.”
The Laird’s gaze was direct and stern, but it was clear to her that he wasn’t putting the pieces together.
“Me sister fell in love with Laird Chalium. But he told her he loved her. And she believed him. It was only after she gave birth to Melody did he turn against her. He drove my sister to her grave. It was when I had brought Melody to him for him to claim, did he…”
“What?” Thomas asked, his voice was so low Astrid could barely hear him. She swallowed hard, hoping she could choke down the words that were clogging her throat. Retelling the story was like walking through the events all over again. Each agonizing detail in full color.
“Astrid, ye cannae stop there. Ye must tell me what he did or I’ll think the worse.”
She bobbed her head as she raked her hand to clear the tears. There was no way she was going to be able to get through the event staring at him. Her only choice was turn her back to him and let the darkness consume her. Only there, in that void between time and space, she’d be able to recall the event.
“Laird Chalium met me at her grave,” Astrid whispered as she licked her parched lips. “He offered to take care of us, sayin’ how we shouldnae be out on the streets. I thought he was doin’ it to tend to Melody. He wasnae. It wasnae until the second month we were under his roof that he came to me. Two months to greive my sister.”
“Did Laird Chalium kill her?” Thomas asked. Astrid could hear the pain in his tone. It sounded like shards of glass raking across a dried wooden beam.
“He might as well have,” she answered. “He drove her to take her own life. It was in my sister’s journals what he said to her. The promises he made. The fact he tried to say such things to me…” Astrid curled her arms around her body as if she had the power to keep herself from falling apart.
“Did ye… like what he was tellin’ ye?” Thomas asked. Astrid glared at him.
“Nay, never. I saw what he did to my sister. The sort of man he was. He ruined her. And he would have done the same to me,” Astrid stopped just shy of letting the real secret slip. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest as she realized she was on the precipe about to tetter to the ground below. Her only hope rested in Thomas. If he was truly as honorable as he claimed, he’d protect her. But what if he saw her like a broken bird once she told him?
“Ye need to finish, and daenae spare my feelings,” Thomas said. “I asked and I’ll hear it all of it. The good and the bad.”
“Laird Chalium came for me,” Astrid said. “Melody was but two feet from me when he cupped his hand to my face and pulled me from the bed.”
“Melody?”
“Dinnae have a clue. Laird Chalium is clever and slick. He could get past starved dog if he had to.”
“What happened?”
“I tried to kill him,” Astrid answered out right. There was no more hiding it from Thomas. The truth was, he reveled in hurting the man that had been responsible for her sister’s death. Her only regret was not being able to complete the job.
Thomas’ eyes twitched as if he wasn’t sure if she was telling the truth or not. But Astrid stared at him with the conviction and resolution that caused him to take notice.
“That is why Laird Chalium is after me, why he only wants me. I wounded him and he has been lookin’ to return the favor ever since,” Astrid said as she could no longer control the tremors rumbling through her body.
“Say the word, and I’ll kill him,” he growled, leaving no room for further discussion.
As much as Astrid would love to see her sister’s murderer pay, she wanted to be the one to snuff the light out of his eyes.
“I’m sure many have already tried and failed,” she said.
“They werenae me,” the Laird pointed out, his voice laced with a tenderness that soothed her frayed nerves.
“Aye. Perhaps nae,” she muttered.
The Laird was strong and clever, gentle and kind—traits that she never would have thought a laird could have.
“I ken that I’ve put a lot of pressure on ye, and I’m sorry. Had I kenned what ye’d been through, I would have helped ye.”
“There’s nothing ye can do to help. What’s done is done. There’s nay goin’ back to fix things now. All I can do is move on and pray that I can keep Melody as safe and as far away from that man as possible.”
“Then ye have me clan and me life to do with as ye will,” he said.
“Ye’d give up so much even if I have nothing to give ye in return?” Astrid asked as she leaned back to catch his eye.
“Come to dinner wit’ me,” the Laird deflected. “Out on the terrace tonight, just the two of us. What say ye?”
“I would like that very much,” Astrid answered, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Then it’s settled,” he said, a smile tugging at his lips. “Perhaps it’ll be enough to stop the rumors and set things straight.”
“Me Laird, please forgive me for the trouble I’ve caused. I hope that one day I can make amends.”
“Aye,” he answered as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Perhaps one day ye will. But until that day comes, why dinnae we just start wit’ dinner?”