Weston (Broken Falls #6)

Chapter Six

CHAPTER SIX

Melanie

I t sucked to have to ask Weston to help me, but it's all part of why I left. There were numerous issues that caused me to leave, but two of them were the most serious. One had to do with my family, another with my health. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to hide this from Weston or even if I want to. Hiding things from him is how I got into the situation I'm in now. But I don't want him to keep me around because he's so sorry for me. That's the last thing I want.

Moving through the house, I grab everything I think I'll need so that when he comes home, we can leave. It's weird knowing that if I had stayed with him, this could be my home too.

A home is really all I've ever wanted. But when I got my diagnosis and after I went to talk to my family about it, I realized that staying with him would have hurt us both even more than my leaving did.

His truck pulls up the drive, and my heart does a stupid little bounce because I'm excited to see him. It's the same type of one it did when we were teenagers. It takes everything I have not to run out and greet him when he comes up the porch. His feet make a stomping noise, and I rush to act like I wasn't watching him. But the fact of the matter is, I was.

"Mel," he yells as he comes to the front door, "are you ready? I don't want to be out super late. The roads are going to get worse as the temperatures drop, and there's only so much we can do to keep that from happening."

I grab the last of what I need, and approach from the living room. "I know you don't have to do this," I tell him, "but I appreciate it. You probably hate me after everything I've put you through."

He sighs heavily. "I don't hate you. I could never hate you. Not even you hurting me the way you did can cause me to hate you. I just hate that I still don't know why you left. I still don't understand why you couldn't have been honest with me. And I still don't trust you. So if you think that just because you've shown back up here and I'm being nice to you, that means you're back in my good graces, you've got another thing coming. That's not what it means at all."

My lips are pressed into a hard line. There's so much I want to say, but I don't think any of it will be helpful, so I leave it alone.

"I spent a good portion of my teenage years loving you," he continues. "And I would have spent all of my adult years loving you. But you didn't give me that chance. So while I'm trying to be nice, that doesn't mean it'll always happen, Mel." He sighs heavily again, raking his hands through his hair. "I'm not an asshole, but I also just can't forgive and forget like some people. It's never been my makeup and you know that."

I do, which is why I know how hard this is for him and equally how hard it is for me. If I could change things, I would. If I could go back and make different decisions than the ones I made the day I left, I would. But I can't change any of that. All I can do is change how I handle it from now on. So, giving him a grin that I hope he doesn't mistake for taking his feelings lightly, I speak. "I've missed you. And I'll do anything I can to prove to you I made the best decision that I knew how back then. Was it the right decision? Probably not," I admit softly, lifting my shoulder. "But Wes, we can't change any of that now. So either you're going to have to let me make amends where possible or you're just going to have to tell me to leave." Now it's time to be as honest as I can be. "I won't like it if you tell me to leave," my voice trembles slightly, "but I'll do it."

He looks broken, and it hurts because I'm the one who put us here in this situation.

He grips his hair, pulling hard. "You do what you have to do and I'll do what I have to do. I'm not making any promises to you.I hope you know how hard this is for me," he adds.

"I do," my voice is barely more than a whisper now. "I'm not here to force you into accepting me back into your life, Weston," taking a deep breath before continuing, "I came here because...because...I knew I'd feel safe with you."

He growls softly in response: "Trust me with what? You still haven't told me why you're here or what you're running from."

"I still can't tell you," my voice breaks slightly again but steadies quickly as if mustering courage from within. "And honestly," looking straight into his eyes now for emphasis before continuing, "...I don’t know when or if I ever will be able... but please just let me feel safe with you."

He looks like he wants desperately to say something else, but stops. His lips are tightly pressed together, and his jaw is working roughly as he grinds his teeth together. "Alright." He finally breaks the silence between us before adding curtly. "Get your stuff together so we can go already. Like I mentioned earlier, the roads are only going to get worse as the sun goes down."

Finishing putting on my jacket hurriedly while flashing a small grateful smile towards him, I mutter softly. "Thank you, I really appreciate everything."

Frowning slightly, he replies. "Don't thank me yet. Honestly? I'm not sure how long you're gonna stick around, and I'm not sure how long I'm going to keep pretending like this whole damn thing doesn't bother the shit outta me."

I'm quiet as I walk out to his truck. Those words he said hurt. For the first time, I don't think I'm going to be able to convince myself that love is going to save us. Right now I'm not sure if Weston loves me anymore, or if he can find it within himself to remember how much he did previously.