Chapter 19
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
Brogan
Six months ago today, I woke up in Vegas realizing that I was married. Married to a man who I’d wanted from afar but was too afraid to tell him. It was more than just the fear. It was me not thinking I was worthy enough to have him in my life as more than just one of my brother-in-law’s best friends.
Six months ago, Maddox asked me to give him a shot. To give him six months to prove to me what he claimed he already knew.
That we belonged together.
So much has changed in those twenty-six weeks. I’ve changed. Some might say it was the therapy, which I know was part of it, but I also know I never could have seen the growth that I have without my husband.
He’s the greatest man I’ve ever known, and no matter what hurdle we faced, he was next to me, cheering me on, telling me that we’ve got this.
One hundred and eighty-two days ago, I didn’t believe him. I never thought we would be here, but we are. I still have moments where I’m insecure about deserving this much happiness, but Maddox is always right there to remind me that I am.
And I believe him.
I believe in his love.
I believe in my love for him.
I believe in us.
The patio door opens, and Maddox walks out. He’s in a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a tight-fitting Everlasting Ink T-shirt. It’s summer in Tennessee, and the weather is beautiful, so we decided to have dinner out here tonight.
“Are you ready for me to toss the steaks on the grill?” he asks.
“I’m still full from lunch.”
He nods. “Me too. That pan crust is filling,” he says, of the large meat lover's pizza we had from Dough Daddies on our way home from the grocery store. We’ve settled into a routine, as an old married couple, if you will, and I love it.
“What’s bringing that gorgeous smile to your face?” Maddox asks. I scoot over on the double lounger to make room for him to join me.
“I was just thinking about how we have a routine. If neither one of us works, we do our grocery shopping on Saturdays, and clean on Sundays.”
“We’re very domesticated,” he says, laughing. “I love our routine.”
“I do too. I was just thinking we’re an old married couple already.”
“It’s fucking perfect,” he says, wrapping his arms around me as I settle on his chest. “I love it here.”
“Yeah?”
He nods. “I always loved this house.”
“So, you think this is where we’re going to stay?”
“Do you not want to?”
“No, I do, but I wasn’t sure what you wanted.”
“Baby, we could live anywhere. You are what makes it a home. The love we share, but this is your family home, and I just assumed this is where we would settle. We can do some updating, and over there is the perfect spot for a swing set.” He points to the corner of the yard. “It’s in perfect view of the window over the sink to watch the kids play.”
“Yeah, and maybe we could update the primary bathroom,” I say, thinking about our shower habits. It’s nice that we’re forced to be so close since we usually can’t keep our hands off each other, but a little more room would be nice too.
“We can do that. There’s a lot of open space not being used in the current layout.”
“What about you? Anything you’d like to change?”
“Maybe build a garage that my truck will fit in,” he says, laughing.
“What about your house?”
“I say we put it on the market, unless you want to live there.”
“It’s small,” I say, wrinkling my nose. “I can’t see us raising kids there.”
He nods. “I’ll call the realtor tomorrow.”
“Will it always be like this?”
“Like what?”
“You agreeing with everything that I say or suggest.”
“I’m sure there will be times we disagree. When that day comes, we’ll talk it out. But I’m an easygoing guy for the most part. I need you, and when we have kids, I’ll need them. I want my friends who are my brothers to always be involved. My parents, too, and other than that, I don’t care. I don’t care where we are, whose house we invade, or what we have to eat while doing it. That’s all just noise.”
“You know, I think maybe my dad has a little something to do with us meeting.”
“Yeah?”
I nod. “He loved this place. His parents loved this place, and Briar and I always looked forward to visiting here when we were growing up. When we lost him, and had to sell the house in Nashville, we both just knew this is where we would go. Moving here helped us feel closer to him being in one of his favorite places. We liked the slower pace of small-town life versus the busy streets of Nashville. Dad made sure this place was in our names and we didn’t even know he did it.”
“So not just fate, my father-in-law had something to do with it.” He tilts his head back and looks up at the evening sky as the sun starts to fade. “Mr. and Mrs. Pearce, my name is Maddox Lanigan, and I’m in love with your daughter. Six months ago, she married me, and there hasn’t been a single day since that I’ve not thanked God for her coming into my life.”
“Maddox.” I place my hand over my mouth to keep my sobs from breaking free.
“My wife tells me that you two might have had something to do with us meeting. You specifically, Mr. Pearce, and I’d like to say thank you. Thank you for bringing me the love of my life.”
He peers down at me and smiles. “I love her. Brogan is my entire world, and from all the stories she’s told me, we would have gotten along really well.” He kisses my temple and looks back up at the sky. “That’s good, because I have a question to ask you. Sir, I’d love your permission to marry your daughter. I know what you’re thinking, that we’re already married, and that’s true, but she didn’t get the wedding of her dreams, and I want to give her that. Whatever that day looks like, she’ll have it.”
I’m openly sobbing, but he doesn’t stop staring up at the sky, but he does tighten his hold on me.
“I know you can’t answer me, but I wanted to ask you all the same. I love her with every fiber of my being, and I promise to love her for all the days of my life.” He stands and offers me his hand. I place mine in his and allow him to help me stand as well. I don’t know where we’re going or what we’re doing, but I’d follow this man anywhere.
Maddox kisses the corner of my mouth, then drops to one knee. “Brogan Lanigan, you are my sun and my stars. You’re my everything. My wife. My best friend. Will you do me the incredible honor of spending your life with me? Baby, will you marry me? Again?” he asks, smiling up at me.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out the most beautiful diamond engagement ring I’ve ever seen. It’s shaped like a heart, with a band of diamonds on either side. “You’re my heart, Brogan. You own every piece of me.”
“I don’t want another wedding.” His face falls, so I’m quick to keep talking. “I don’t remember the first one, but we have the video, and we looked really happy that day, Maddox. It might have taken alcohol to get us to take the first step, but I’m glad we took it.” I wipe at my cheeks as he stands with his hands still holding mine. “That’s our story, and I don’t want to erase it.” I hold my left hand out to him, and he doesn’t waste a single second to slide the diamond on my finger right next to the diamond band he gave me that night in Vegas.
“I don’t need anything but you. We have video proof of that day, and who knows, maybe one day we might remember, but if not”—I shrug—“we have a lifetime of memories to make.” I smile at him. “I just want to be yours.”
He doesn’t reply with words; instead, he shows me with his actions. His lips mold to mine, and he kisses me so tenderly it brings tears to my eyes. When he pulls away, I tear my shirt off over my head and reach for the button of my jean shorts.
“Brogan. We’re outside.”
“There is no one here, and the back patio is private.”
“The lake,” he reminds me.
“They can’t see.”
“What if they have binoculars?” he counters.
He’s always looking out for me. “Fine, we’ll use this.” I grab the blanket I brought out with me because the nights still get cold. “Strip and sit down.” He doesn’t argue as he strips out of his shorts and boxer briefs, and then discards his shirt. He sits down on the lounger, and after I finish stripping, I straddle him, guiding him inside me.
“Home,” I say, rocking my hips. I’ve lost count of the amount of times he’s been inside me, but every single time, it feels like I’m coming home.
“I love you.” He sits up and wraps the blanket over my shoulders and his arms around my waist, his lips trailing wet kisses over my collarbone and up my neck.
“I love you too.” I smile when I think about the fact that he bought me an engagement ring, but I also have plans to give him a gift tonight. I wasn’t sure how to go about giving it to him, but I think this is the perfect moment.
“So sweet,” he says, nipping at my lips. His hands roam over every piece of skin he can reach, and I smile into his kiss.
“I have something for you too.” I rock my hips, and he groans. I bite down on my lip to keep from crying out. Every time is better than the last.
“All I need is you,” he says, lifting his hips.
“Oh, okay, so maybe I should go dig my birth control out of the trash,” I say against his lips.
He freezes. “What?” He pulls back and we both stop moving as he stares into my eyes.
“You only need me, so that means we’re putting making a baby on hold, right? So I should dig my pills out of the trash.”
“You threw them away?”
I nod. “Yeah, I know it won’t happen right away, but I thought maybe we could work on starting our family.”
“You want to make a baby with me?” There are so many emotions and tenderness in his tone, but the one that stands out the most is happiness.
“I do. Do you want to make a baby with me?” I ask, even though I know the answer to that question.
“I do. I really fucking do.” He laughs. “I never thought I could be this happy. I didn’t know this kind of bliss existed until I met you.”
“Did we just repeat our vows?” I tease.
“No. Yes. I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m madly in love with you, and I want lots of babies.”
“How about we start with one?” I chuckle.
“No way. We’re going for twins.” He grips my hips, lifts me the slightest bit, then pulls me back down. “Ride me, beautiful,” he says as his thumb moves to rub over my clit.
I don’t know if it’s the intense conversation, the way he spoke to the night sky, pretending it was my father, the diamond ring he put on my finger, the fact that this very night we could potentially conceive our first baby, or if it’s just him? Just Maddox, my husband. Whatever it is, it has me exploding around him, calling his name out to the night sky, and him quickly falling after me.
We stay connected as I snuggle under the blanket to his chest and watch as the final remnants of today’s sunset disappears over the lake. It’s a beautiful moment, one that I will cherish forever.
“Brogan?”
“Yeah?”
“When can we do that again?” he asks. He’s smiling, and I hear the laughter in his tone. I have a feeling we’re not going to get any rest until I’m knocked up.
“What about now?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he moves to the edge of the lounger, stands with me in his arms, and carries me inside. Once we’re in our room, he makes love to me for the second time tonight. He doesn’t leave one area of skin untouched by his lips, and when we finish, we’re both wearing matching grins.
Now.
This is our forever.