23 Are we doing this?
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Are we doing this?
RILEY
I’d successfully avoided Will for the remainder of the week. That didn’t mean I hadn’t thought about him or our couch ventures when I was alone... in bed... at night.
God. He was reeling me in without even trying. And what’s worse, he was making me realise all the things I’d missed.
Throughout the handful of hookups I’d had since him, nobody had known my body as well, which I knew was inevitable. Will and I were together for almost one year. During that time, he’d gotten plenty of practice. But even our first time had made me see stars. We’d fit from the beginning.
“Earth to Riley,” Parker said, clicking in my face.
I blinked back to reality, my eyes settling on Parker. She was standing in front of the fridge, holding the carton of orange juice.
“Sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked what time the game starts tonight.”
“Oh. Um. Seven-thirty.”
Parker was tagging along to watch Ryan. We weren’t sitting together though. She’d told me sitting with Allentown’s fans was sacrilege, even though she’d never been to a Phil-U hockey game before. Her friend, Kayla, was meeting her there.
“And are you still hanging with your brother afterwards?” she checked.
Parker was the only person from Phil-U who knew Tanner was my half-brother. I’d been forced to give her the history quickly after she moved in. Initially she’d assumed Tanner and I were dating, which was freaking disgusting.
When Will and I had been together, I’d dodged filling him in about Tanner. If I had, it would’ve opened another can of worms that I hadn’t wanted to dive into. I’d planned on telling Will eventually, but after mentioning my dad and I weren’t close, he hadn’t pressed and I guess I never felt the need to bring up my shit-show family tree.
It was strange knowing Will and Tanner had played against each other and Will had no clue who Tanner was. Tanner did though, and he hated Will for obvious reasons.
“Yeah. I don’t know what the plan is yet. You’re welcome to tag along with whatever we decide on.”
“I’ll probably crash at Kayla’s. There’s some party she wants to hit up.” Parker reached into the cupboard for a glass. “Before the game I need you to give me a hockey-101 lesson so I can impress Ryan with hockey talk.”
I closed my laptop, giving Parker my full attention. “You’re really into him, huh?”
Pulling her lip between her teeth, Parker nodded. “I mean, have you seen him?”
I had. Ryan was classically good looking, but he wasn’t my flavour. He was almost too beautiful, if that was a thing. Not to mention his combination of hockey and social media popularity was way too much for me.
I’d stumbled across a TikTok of his once, which had ended up with me watching every video after realising Will featured in some. I had no clue how Ryan coerced Will, Levi and Tripp into doing the things they’d done. The views on the videos all four starred in were insane. It would make me uneasy knowing that many people had watched me. Though I guess with Levi and Will joining the league next year, they were going to have to get used to it.
I’d made a point to hide Ryan’s videos after my one intense stalking session. It was a rabbit hole I couldn’t afford to fall down too often.
“What’s happened between you two?” I asked.
“Not a whole lot. I’ve been taking things slow.”
That was new ammo for Parker. She was usually one to jump into the deep end, to sleep with a guy first then work backwards and get to know him.
“Well a word of warning, you’re going to get a surprise tonight. Puck bunnies in action is a whole other realm.”
Parker scrunched up her face. “Is that who Will cheated on you with, a random hockey fan?”
A sinking feeling appeared in my stomach, the same one that reared its head whenever I recalled that night.
“I honestly don’t know,” I admitted. “I never asked. It didn’t matter to me who it was. ”
“You’re way too mature, Riley. I would’ve clawed that girl’s hair out and then ripped Will’s dick off.” Parker’s brow furrowed. “Don’t you ever worry that you’re, like, in a class with the girl?”
I grimaced. “I hadn’t until now. Thanks.”
But again, it didn’t really matter. If she got to point me out to her friends and gloat about hooking up with my boyfriend, props to her. The reality was Will and I would’ve broken up whether she’d existed or not.
“Would you ever consider giving him another chance?” Parker asked.
My automatic answer should’ve been no , but instead, nothing came out. Was letting him slip his hands beneath my shorts a second chance? Or was that simply a momentary lapse in judgement?
I shrugged. “He never asked for one.”
“Probably for the best. I don’t think I’d be capable of saying no to him.” Parker pushed off the counter, edging towards the doorway. “I’m going for my weekly hot girl shower.”
That included the full works. Washing your hair. Leaving a treatment in for a while. Shaving everything. Exfoliating. Moisturising. I’d taken the exact same shower this morning. She’d be a good forty-five-minutes. Luckily my dad paid our water bill.
Just as the shower started, the doorbell sounded. Parker was a parcel queen. There was literally something arriving for her every day. Though as much as I teased her for it, I enjoyed watching her try-on hauls. Not to mention whatever she bought I got to borrow.
Dressed in daggy sweats, I swung open the door expecting a delivery driver – not a six-foot-four hockey player. My breath hitched. Will looked equally surprised to see me, as though I was knocking on his door instead.
“Caufield? What are you doing here?”
“I would’ve called, but you changed your number.”
Changing your number was step one of a breakup. Step two was bangs. Thankfully I hadn’t fallen into that trap.
“And you blocked me on social media.”
Had I? Those weeks after our breakup were a blur. For more than one reason.
“What are you doing here?” I repeated.
“Your strapping saved my ass last game, but it’s worn off now.”
An incredible laugh slipped through my lips. “You’re here for a favour?”
He shrugged. “You are meant to be my student PT.”
“Nah-ah. You lost that draw card when I kept your shoulder injury out of my last submission to your trainer.”
His grey eyes narrowed, almost in challenge. “Is that a no then?”
Was it ?
In my opinion his shoulder wasn’t bad enough for him to be benched, but his training team might not see it that way, especially with play-offs approaching. They might choose to rest him, to let it recover fully. The reality was though Will would play whether I strapped it or not. That was the weak logic I gave myself to open the door wider and step aside.
Then just like that, Will Caufield was in my house for the second time this week. I needed to make sure that record didn’t keep exceeding.
“Is Parker home?” he asked, walking into the living area and shrugging off his hockey jacket.
He draped it over the back of the couch. The same couch we’d – nope . Don’t go there, Riley.
“She’s in the shower, so we should make this quick.”
Luckily I’d lazily shrugged my backpack off and left it on the ground in the entry. I took out what I needed, then gestured for Will to sit.
When he pulled off his t-shirt and hoodie in one swift motion, I forced a cough to cover my breathy appreciation. The array of tattoos on his right arm and chest stole my attention. There were so many of them, perfectly formed around his taut muscles.
Will perched on the arm of the couch so we were eye level. Swallowing, I stepped between his legs then got to work. With clammy hands I secured the first piece in place, smoothing the tape over his warm skin.
The room was eerily silent, so quiet I could hear the air filtering through the vents. Honestly, there’d be more noise in the campus library right now.
“Thanks for the solid, Dover,” Will said, breaking the stifling silence. “I owe you.”
He didn’t. There wasn’t anything he could give that I should take.
“Have you been doing the exercises I gave you?” I asked instead.
When he nodded, I didn’t doubt he was telling the truth. Will wasn’t afraid of hard work. He could stick to any fitness or diet program without wavering if he knew it would improve his game.
“You ran the New York Marathon?” he asked.
I stilled for a moment, processing the left-field question, before remembering there was a framed photo on the wall behind me. I was red-faced and grinning, holding the medal. Mum was beside me, her sturdy arm around my waist. At least that’s what it looked like. She’d gathered enough energy to stand for the picture, but the effort of flying interstate to watch me race meant she hadn’t been able to leave the couch for a week after that.
“Yeah. I ticked that off the bucket list.”
“That’s awesome, Riley. You’ve had that goal since freshman year. What’s next?”
Whether he was trying to distract himself or me, I wasn’t sure. Either way, I appreciated it .
“I’m not training for anything specific right now. Just focussing on my final semester.”
And getting through these one-on-ones with you.
As I peered down to round off the roll of tape, my hair fell over my face. Before I could shift it, Will was reaching forward and gently tucking it behind my ear. His large hand then trailed down my cheek, his thumb lingering on my jaw. When I sucked in a sharp breath, it was like a verbal firework between us.
“About the other night, Dover.” Will spoke softly, his voice deep and husky. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”
It’s like his fingertips on me were Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth. I couldn’t stop the admission that slipped through my parted lips.
“Me either.”
The corner of his mouth turned up in relief. “Did you enjoy it?”
Is the Pope catholic? I nodded.
With his lips tugging into a full smile, Will placed his other hand on my lower back, encouraging me to step forward. I returned to the spot between his legs, though without the tape I had no right being here.
His fingertips left my jaw to trail along my collarbone. I shivered beneath his touch. I hadn’t bothered zipping up my jacket properly this morning. Will stole the opportunity and easily nudged one shoulder off, revealing the top of my training crop beneath.
“Caufield.”
“Dover.”
My name was a gust of air on my neck as he edged me closer, pressing his lips beneath my ear. My eyes closed on instinct, my head lolling back to grant him better access. As his tongue dragged along my skin, I immediately shifted to a different universe, one where desire and need prevailed over judgement.
Will’s hands inched lower, slowly unzipping my jacket. Like a fool I allowed him to push it off entirely. With nothing but a sports-crop on my top half and Will down to his jeans, I could feel the heat of our skin exchanging. I gave into the urge and touched him, but not like I had earlier. There was no light taping anymore. My hands explored, tracing and marking out the muscles on his back.
His mouth travelled lower, his tongue dipping between my breasts. An involuntary moan escaped as I tangled my fingers in his hair. He wore it longer now.
“I’ve missed your sounds,” he growled, his hands moving behind my thighs .
He lifted me into his arms as he stood, pressing our bodies flush together, then he smoothly shifted our positions, seating me on the arm of the couch while he stood between my legs.
Once settled, his grey eyes searched mine. His were full of emotion and question. I’m not sure what mine were full of, but probably a decent dose of desire.
“Are we doing this?” he asked.
We shouldn’t. But–
“Yes.”
His mouth quirked. “Good.”
There was no going back now.
“But no kissing,” I said.
He trailed his fingers down my stomach before cupping between my legs. “Can I kiss that?”
“I suppose.”
He chuckled deeply. “Give me a minute and all uncertainty will be gone from your mind, Dover.”
When he lowered to his knees, the sight of his toned and tattooed torso was almost enough to tip me over the edge. It was such an erotic sight, him settling between my legs. So hot it made it hard to breathe.
Reaching up, he tugged on the waistband of my sweats. I should put a stop to this now, before it was too late, and before he ruined me for every guy that came next. But instead I found myself raising my hips, allowing him to undress me. He dropped my discarded sweats on the ground beside my jacket. His dark gaze then settled between my legs like he’d just discovered his Christmas present. Pushing aside the thin layer of fabric covering me, he licked his lips.
“I’m going to enjoy this.”
I whimpered needily when his tongue made contact. It was so jarring my hips shot up. Will pinned me in place, using his thumbs to dig into my thighs. Needing to ground myself, I dragged my hands through his hair. I liked the length it was now. It gave me something to grab onto.
The room suddenly felt incredibly hot, making me wish I hadn’t turned the heat on earlier. Will hooked one of my legs over his shoulder, then prompted me to place my other on the arm of the couch. With the new angle, the pleasure intensified until I was rocking against his mouth, desperate and needy. There was no possibility of me playing it cool right now. Will had me at his mercy. He knew I was enjoying this. I was enjoying it more than all my casual hookups combined.
He inched back slightly. “Fuck, Riley. You taste better than I remember.”
When he returned, the sensitivity became too much. I cried out, crashing into an all-consuming orgasm, one I wouldn’t be able to mimic on my own. Will slowed his movements, his tongue slowly dancing over my clit in a way that drew out the pleasure but didn’t make it too much.
Once my breathing returned to normal, he kissed his way back up my body. I stood on shaky legs when he reached my jaw.
“No kissing,” I repeated. “Ditch the pants. Now.”
While he worked on his jeans and boxers, I whipped my crop over my head and dropped it on the couch. Slipping off my underwear, I turned my back on Will and lowered over the arm of the couch.
This couch needed to be burned after this. Bad things happened on this couch. But also incredibly good things.
Will edged forward, lining himself up against me. When I felt the hardness of his dick tap against my ass cheeks, I drew in a sharp breath.
“Condom,” he murmured, more to himself than me.
There was rustling behind me, followed by the distinct sound of his belt hitting the hardwood floors.
I couldn’t turn around. I couldn’t see him ripping open the packet or slipping the condom on. I couldn’t move because I was gripped by excited energy. I was so ready for this.
After a beat his warm body met mine again. I jerked in surprise when he placed his dick right at my pussy. He gave it a few pumps, teetering by entering the smallest amount before pulling back.
“I never thought I’d get to do this again,” he huskily murmured.
You and me both, dude.
“Hurry up and fuck me, Caufield.”
“Famous last words, Dover.”
He pushed into me fully, causing my back to arch. I moaned loudly, feeling so full in the best way possible.
“Fuck,” he groaned.
“Fuck,” I agreed.
The flood gates opened as the familiarity of having sex with Will cascaded back. His fingers dug into my hips as he found a steady rhythm, one that had us both panting like we were in the last mile of a marathon. Turning my head, I sunk my teeth into the skin of my shoulder. I’d never been able to replicate this with anyone else. This raw energy. This primal instinct.
With hooded eyes I watched Will’s muscled chest and stomach pump back and forth. This was so good. Too good.
One of his hands grabbed my breast, squeezing roughly. Something I’d always loved about Will was that he wasn’t gentle. He knew how to fuck a girl, not just sleep with her. By the time Will was done, he always left me raw and satiated in the best way possible.
“Your body was made for mine, Dover. ”
Those words caused mixed emotions to flood my chest.
“This isn’t happening again,” I reminded him, my palms gripping the couch firmly.
With a grunt he shifted gears, pulling out of me entirely. The sudden loss of him was overwhelming. I missed his hardness, his length, his warmth the second it was gone.
Taking my hand, he dragged me around the couch.
“What are you doing?” I huffed.
“Slowing things down. If this is only happening once, I’m sure as hell going to take my time.”
After settling among the cushions, he pulled me on top of him. I instinctively straddled his lap, not an ounce of hesitation in my limbs.
“Ride me, Dover. Like you used to.”
I nervously glanced up at the stairs. I wasn’t sure how far Parker was into her hot-girl shower. I’d lost all concept of the world outside of Will Caufield.
Turning back to Will, there was an emotion I couldn’t depict in his grey eyes. Something more than need. This is what I was hoping to avoid. Face-to-face, this wasn’t just a quickie with anyone. It was a relapse with the guy who’d broken my heart.
Teeth sinking into my lip, I lowered myself onto him because – who was I kidding – I couldn’t turn back now.
As the fullness returned, I moaned breathily. A sheen of sweat coated Will’s strong torso. I rested my palms on his pecks as I began to move. It didn’t take long before we were in sync once more, though we were no longer frenzied, the tempo had shifted.
Will’s knowing gaze was too intense for me to handle, so I closed my eyes. The sounds of our pleasure consumed my thoughts. Skin-against-skin. Moan-against-groan. He angled his hips lower in a way that used to always work for me. It immediately started working again now.
“Oh god,” I exhaled.
“That’s it, Riley. That’s fucking perfect.”
Will kept the pace when it all became too much and my movements became ragged. When I tipped over the edge once more, I dropped my head in the crook of his neck to muffle my scream.
“I’ve missed watching you come,” he said earnestly, and his confession did something to my heart I didn’t understand.
He sat further upright, bringing our chests together as he thrust harder. It didn’t take long before he was sagging against me, letting out a string of curse words that painted my ego.
Together we fell down from the high, our bodies flush and our hearts chaotically beating against each other. Though before I could get comfortable in his arms, I climbed off him .
Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror by the entryway, I looked well and truly fucked. I felt it too.
I began gathering my things, stepping into my underwear first before turning my crop the right way around. Will took the hint. He got to his feet too and started gathering his things. We were silent while we dressed, neither of us knowing what to say. After tying off the condom, Will slipped it into the pocket of his jeans.
If I thought things were stilted between us before, they were magnified now. The only time Will and I seemed to be in sync was when we were fucking. That was heartbreaking in its own way, because while the sex had always been off the charts, it never used to be just about that.
Pulling his hockey jacket back on, Will glanced between the door and me.
“You don’t need to hover, Caufield. We both know what that was.”
“Yeah?” He swallowed. “Tell me.”
“The breakup sex we never had.” I zipped up my jacket. “But we’re out of each other’s systems now.”
I was lying through my teeth. Did Will know that? He wasn’t out of my system. Those actions had just heightened the missing part of my life only he seemed able to fill.
I padded to the front door and opened it for him, anxiously glancing up at the staircase as I did. I needed to straighten the couch before Parker came down, and maybe light a scented candle as well because it smelt like sex.
Will paused in the doorway, as though he was going to say something. Though after a moment of consideration, he kept walking without mumbling a single word.