49 Don’t be proud
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Don’t be proud
WILL
I climbed out of Levi’s car, the cool air knocking the breath from me. The team bus was already waiting. At least Allentown was only an hour each way.
It was never the drive to away games that was gruelling, it was the way back. Win or loss, I was always itching to get off the bus by the time we pulled into campus.
We were the first ones here. We always were. The rest of the team wasn’t due for another twenty minutes. Some would arrive earlier, some would arrive just in time. Nobody was ever late though. They weren’t brave enough to face Coach’s wrath.
I reached into my pocket, pulling out my phone that’d just gone off.
RILEY: Are you here yet?
I glanced around the parking lot. There was a handful of coaching staff by the bus, but Riley wasn’t one of them.
WILL: Where are you?
RILEY: Inside.
I stared at her message for a few seconds. I was still torn, convinced she was better off without me, but also conscious that deep down, I’d never been better off without her.
“You good?” Levi checked, rounding his car.
“Yeah.” I slipped my phone back into my pocket. “I left something in my stall. I’ll meet you on the bus.”
The hockey rooms were quiet, practically abandoned. Most of the equipment had already been transferred outside, and all of the players would track straight from their cars to the bus.
Just as I reached for my phone to check where Riley was, I glimpsed her through the ajar training room door. She was leaning over the therapy table, dressed in black leggings and a Phil-U jacket. She was even wearing a Phil-U beanie today. It looked a hell of a lot better on her than the Allentown monstrosity had. Her straight dark hair was hanging over her shoulders, cascading down her back. She glanced up when I shoved the door open.
“Hey,” I said.
She returned a small smile before holding up a roll of tape. “I figured you’d need this.”
“Riley–”
“Don’t be proud, Caufield. Come here.”
Unimpressed by my hesitation, Riley grabbed my hand, pulling me into the room and nudging me onto the therapy table.
Once again, I was back to not knowing what to say, or how to breathe, or where to put my hands around her. Riley, on the other hand, seemed completely at ease. When I failed to remove my suit jacket and shirt, her soft fingers got to work.
Time wasn’t on our side, and she seemed to know that as well. After undoing enough buttons, she skipped her usual assessment and got straight to taping.
My mind had been too wrapped up in other things to even think about my shoulder. I’m glad Riley was doing it though. Allentown never went easy on us.
“Are you nervous about tonight?” she asked, filling the silence.
“No. I don’t generally get nervous before games.”
“Really? Not even with the big crowds you play in front of?”
I shook my head. “The bigger the crowd, the better. You can feed off their energy. Even when they’re going against you.”
“Just like they will be tonight. ”
“A loud crowd is still a loud crowd. You just have to learn when to play into the noise and when to shut it out.”
“Huh,” she mused. “That’s kind of cool.”
This was one of the deepest conversations Riley and I had ever had about hockey. It was still relatively surface level, but it was something.
“I take it you’re coming to the game,” I said.
She nodded.
“Will you be on the bus?”
She nodded again. “Only on the way.”
Oh. Oh. Was she planning on hanging back with Tanner fucking Holbeck? That sure as hell stung.
“I’m catching a lift back with Grace,” she explained. “She’s heading up with Parker and someone called Lana.”
I exhaled, relieved. That was a much better scenario than Riley celebrating with the Allentown crew afterwards. She was in safe hands with Hughesy, and Lana was Levi’s younger sister, though only younger by a year which she’d reminded us of non-stop growing up.
Talking to Riley now, any restraint I’d built up within myself to leave her alone diminished. I could only keep her at arm’s length when I avoided her entirely. The moment I caved a little, the urge to pull her in completely was too strong.
“There’s a gathering at our house afterwards,” I murmured.
Riley rounded off the tape. “So I’ve heard.”
“Are you coming?”
She turned away, placing the tape back into her kit. “I didn’t know if you’d want me to.”
Standing, I placed my hands on her waist and tugged her back against my chest. “I do. That’s the problem.”
She reached her hands above her head, tangling them in my hair. Usually I wore my Phil-U beanie to games. I was glad I hadn’t today. Riley’s fingers massaging my scalp felt absolutely heavenly.
“Why is it a problem, Caufield?”
I wasn’t so sure right now. Riley had begun grinding her body against mine, which felt pretty fucking intentional. My dick was certainly responding. Dressed in my thin dress pants, there’s no way she couldn’t feel my jutting erection digging into her back.
Somewhere my inner monologue was telling me this was irresponsible. I was in the hockey rooms with a trainer. It was unprofessional. We could get caught. But I also didn’t fucking care.
I inched my hands higher, one resting on Riley’s ribs and the other tracing the curves of her breasts .
“I’d feel responsible if the team lost because you didn’t get your pre-game bang,” she whispered.
I chuckled against her neck. “A bang? Sounds romantic.”
She turned in my arms, her head tilting back to look at me. “It’s a quickie is what it is. We’ve got twelve minutes. Think you can deliver, Caufield?”
When she was the inspiration? Hell fucking yeah.
*
We lined up in the walkway, waiting for the right moment to skate onto the ice. The arena was dark and music played loudly as the announcer hyped up the crowd. They were loud tonight. I could feel the vibrations from their roars through my skates.
Levi turned over his shoulder, looking at me. “Ready?”
I shuffled my stick between my gloves. “Ready.”
When the music amped up, the crowd reacted to it. It might not be our fans out there, but it was still an arena full of energy to feed on.
I’d been playing hockey since I was six – sixteen years later and I still experienced the same dizzying excitement before any game. I doubt I’d ever tire from this.
I followed the line until it was my turn to hit the ice. The cool arena partially dimmed the fire burning in me, one that had been set alight when I fucked Riley on the therapy table.
Hands down, it was one of the top five hottest moments of my life. Her sucking me off in the hockey showers was a close second. So was last Saturday morning in her shower. And while I couldn’t draw on the other two instances right now, I knew they both contained her.
I picked off a loose puck and danced it on my stick as I skated behind the net. Maxwell was already in position, working through his stretches.
Quickly casting my eyes around the arena, my heartrate settled after spotting Riley on the bench. Though when Tanner Holbeck skated past and mumbled something to her, that feeling shifted.
I didn’t feel like I had reason to be jealous of him. Especially not after the pre-game bang. But I was definitely missing part of the puzzle.
If I asked Riley now, I wondered whether she’d tell me. When we’d first started talking again, I doubt she would’ve filled me in on her mum. Things had shifted. I just hoped they’d shifted enough.
The pregame routine passed quickly. Before I knew it we were gearing up to skate into position. Heading for the centre ice, I chewed my mouthguard between my teeth. Looks like I was facing-off against Tanner.
Of fucking course .
I studied him like it would somehow give away what was going on between him and Riley. Or what had gone on. She’d said things between them were platonic, but maybe she’d hooked up with him at some stage over the past three years. Maybe, like Riley and me, they had history.
I glanced at our bench, watching Riley as she worked through something with Richard, until Tanner skated up beside me and pulled my attention. He was too close considering the linesman wasn’t even here with the puck yet.
“Still pining after Riley, Caufield?”
The comment caused my blood to literally fucking simmer. I could handle hockey trash talking. What I couldn’t handle was people bringing Riley into it. Probably a good thing she’d never come to my games back in the day. If she had, I might’ve served more penalties alongside Tripp.
“If you want to trash talk me Holbeck, fine. But leave Riley out of it.”
Tanner barked out a laugh. “I’ll be damned. Will Caufield has a sore spot. Given what you did, I didn’t think you cared about her that much.”
He was wrong. So wrong. I cared about Riley more than anything. Sometimes I even think I cared about her more than hockey.
Levi had mentioned to me recently that when Grace went home, he’d considered what it would be like to give up the game. I’d never pictured my future without hockey, but now I was struggling to picture it without Riley either.
I stood to my full height, hoping everyone around us was assuming Tanner and I were simply exchanging some pre-game banter.
“What’s going on with you and Riley?”
Tanner snickered. “If you don’t know about Riley and me, then she clearly doesn’t trust you still.”
The linesman finally appeared and skated to the centre of the ice.
As Tanner got into position, I shook my body out before doing the same. I couldn’t let him get in my head before the game. Though the final comment he murmured just before the puck dropped made that impossible.
“And for good reason you cheating asshole.”