What Are The Chances (Phil-U #2)

53 This would never work

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

This would never work

RILEY

Will was intensely studying me like he was seconds away from throwing me onto his bed. I kind of hoped that was the plan. With his dress shirt unbuttoned and his suit jacket fitted over his broad shoulders, he looked especially hot. Particularly with his tattoos and muscled torso peeking through the clean-cut look.

I draped my arms around his head, tugging him closer. His mouth hovered above mine, his minty breath warming the skin of my neck. I wanted to kiss him so much it hurt. But I couldn’t give in to that urge. It would change things – things I refused to let change.

So instead I kissed his neck before dragging my tongue across his warm skin. Peppering kisses over his torso, I kept travelling south. Past his taut abs. Past his naval. Past the line of hair that disappeared beneath his belt.

“Riley,” he croaked.

Knowing this was getting to him encouraged me to keep going. Lowering to my knees, I slipped my Phil-U jacket off my shoulders before whipping the training polo over my head. Now Will and I were showing equal amounts of skin. Consider us even.

“We need to talk,” he murmured.

I reached for his zipper. “Do we?”

He was losing his resolve, and I knew the moment I wrapped my lips around his dick it would disappear entirely. As if sensing that too, he lifted me off the ground and carried us to his bed .

The mattress dipped as he lowered me onto my back. My chest heaved with anticipation when he hooked my leg over his hip before grinding against me. My fingertips sunk into his comforter as I let out a breathy moan. Thank goodness there was still music playing downstairs because I couldn’t stay quiet with him.

“Fuck foreplay, Caufield. I want you in me.”

With a heated glare he reached for his side table, searching for a condom. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist, stilling him.

“No,” I whispered. “We never used to use them. I don’t want to use them now.”

Saturday morning in my shower had reminded me how much better it was without one. I didn’t want anything between us. I just wanted him. We’d used one this morning, when my breasts were flattened against the therapy table and he’d railed me from behind. But that had been more about convenience.

Will froze, studying me through half-lidded eyes.

“Unless you still want to,” I muttered uncertainly.

“Riley, I–” Will’s arms on either side of my head tensed. “I can’t.”

“It’s fine. We’ll use a condom.”

“No.” He rocked back on his heels. “I mean I can’t do this anymore.”

Despite currently lying down, I felt floored. The bed may as well have fallen out from beneath me.

“What do you mean?” I croaked, partially sitting up on my elbows.

“I mean, I–”

When he got back to his feet and began pacing the room, immediately my defences kicked into gear.

Here we went again. Déjà freaking vu.

Sliding to the foot of the bed, I reached for my discarded clothing. Though before my hands could wrap around my polo, Will was dropping to the ground in front of me. His large hands came to rest on my thighs, stilling me.

“Give us another chance, Riley.”

I frowned. “I am, Caufield. If you hadn’t just freaked out, we’d literally be having sex right now.”

“A real chance. No more Caufield . No more no kissing rules.” Will’s eyes were full of determination. “I want to be able to kiss you when I see you, Riley. I want to kiss you when I say good morning. I want to kiss you before I say goodnight. I want to kiss you when you’ve strapped my shoulder and saved my ass. I want to kiss you when I think you look beautiful, which is all the fucking time by the way. I want to kiss you when you’re on the brink of coming. I just… I want you again. I never stopped wanting you. ”

With his brow furrowed, his thumb tenderly stroked my cheek bone. It was only then that I realised I was crying. Why was I crying? Because I knew where this was going, and that broke my heart.

I shook my head. “This would never work.”

Confusion clouded Will’s face. “Why?”

“Because you’re obsessed with hockey.”

“I’m not obsessed.”

I dryly laughed. “You’re literally only sleeping with me because it improves your game.”

“We both know that isn’t true. Last I checked, I wasn’t about to play another game tonight.”

He was right. That was a momentary lapse in judgement on my part.

“I can’t,” I murmured.

The disappointment on Will’s face was too much to bear. I had to look at the ceiling to get a hold of myself.

“Is this because... is it because I cheated on you?”

“No. That’s not it.”

I forced determination into my voice because I didn’t want him to keep beating himself up over that. I knew how much he regretted it, and I knew it was a mistake that he carried with him every day.

“Then what?”

Because the reasons we broke up are still there I wanted to shout. When the school year ended, he’d jet off to Texas and kickstart his NHL career. One with gruelling schedules, and lengthy away periods, and a lifestyle that didn’t give way to the family that was waiting for you back home.

I’d spent my entire childhood waiting for a father who’d put his hockey career first. I couldn’t do that again.

Pushing past Will, I got to my feet and hastily pulled on my polo and jacket. I had to get out of here. I was about to breakdown, and I didn’t want it to happen in front of Will.

While I dressed, Will looked at me with complete bewilderment, his shirt still unbuttoned.

“What gives, Riley? Talk to me. Whatever it is, I’ll make it work. Please don’t walk out that door because I–” He swallowed thickly. “I can’t watch you walk out of that door again.”

I choked on a sob. “I’m sorry,” I whispered before throwing open the door and rushing out.

While Will’s pants were safely done up and there was no girl on her knees at the foot of his bed, this was almost more heartbreaking. Because this time Will had no clue what had gone wrong.