When Forever Stays (The Forever Duet)

Six

SIX

DANA

Screams come from across the hall. I throw my blankets off and sprint to Rhett’s room, bursting in without knocking. The comforter and top sheet lay in a heap on the floor. Rhett tosses and turns on the bed.

I stand frozen when he shouts, “Don’t do it! Please! Put it down!” He thrashes wildly, and I run over to him, praying I reach him before he throws himself off the bed.

“Rhett! Wake up!”

He reaches up toward the ceiling, then he screams, “NO!”

“Rhett!” I shout right back.

He stills, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Then I see the tears streaming down his cheeks. He curls in on himself as he cries silently.

He’s having a nightmare. A painful, heart-wrenching nightmare.

I kneel next to the bed, brushing his hair off his sweat-soaked forehead. His body visibly relaxes. I stroke his jaw, enjoying the feel of his scruff against my palm. Swarms of emotions build inside me until I feel like I could burst. This is too much, too fast. Just like before.

I silently beg God to help me guard my heart, because somehow, this beautiful, confusing man is even more appealing this time around. My heart is too quickly falling back into its old habit, and I fear that I once again won’t be able to stop it.

My hand lazily pushes through his hair that’s just a touch too long, and I give him the comfort I’d want after such an awful nightmare. His five o’clock shadow has gotten thicker through the night, and he’s starting to resemble someone…someone I can’t place. I’m too tired to dwell on it, so instead I try to console him in his sleeping state.

Once his breathing has evened, I pull my hand away and prepare to take my leave. Rhett whimpers and reaches for me. His large hand circles my wrist, and he pulls me forward until I’m perched very awkwardly on his bed. He releases my wrist and wraps his arms around my waist, his head nuzzling into my side. Frozen in place, I sit perfectly still as he visibly relaxes. The rapid rise and fall of his chest slows and his breathing deepens. But his hold on me doesn’t loosen.

“Dana,” he mumbles. “Let me keep you.”

My eyes go wide and I stiffen. “Rhett,” I whisper, but he doesn’t respond. Instead, his deep, even breaths fill the otherwise silent room. I don’t know how much time passes, just that I’ve been sitting here with a gorgeous man’s arms wrapped around me, and it’s turning me inside out.

Exhaustion begins claiming me, but I can’t sleep here in bed with Rhett. Having him in my house is already pushing the boundaries.

I stare down at him, again brushing a rogue strand of hair away from his face. He’s truly gorgeous to look at. A slight wince is on his face, though, as if he still remembers the terror he experienced during that nightmare. It breaks my heart to see him like this.

I slide my finger across the crease in his forehead, and as it releases, a sigh slips from his lips.

My chest tightens. “You shouldn’t be able to do this to me again,” I whisper. I peel his arms from around me and slide a pillow into the space I recently vacated. He clutches it tightly.

His voice stops me just as I reach the door. “Dana?”

After closing my eyes and blowing out a puff of air, I turn to face him.

“I was just checking on you,” I say, making sure he knows I wasn't just wandering in his room at night.

Moonlight spills into the room, casting just enough light for me to take in every defined muscle of his chiseled torso as he sits up. As I scan him, my mouth goes dry. The raven wings he has across his upper back aren’t his only tattoos. The left side of his chest has a flock of black birds with a faded background of a forest. I’ve never been big on tattoos, but the way Rhett wears them helps me understand why some women would be obsessed with men who have them.

Thankfully, Rhett doesn’t seem to notice my perusal. “Did I wake you?” he asks.

I debate whether I should tell him why I’m really here. He may not remember the nightmare, or he may be embarrassed by it. Although he shouldn’t be. I decide to be honest since there’s no reason for me to lie or sugarcoat what just happened. “It sounded like you were having a nightmare.”

He nods solemnly as if he’s not surprised by this.

“Do you remember what it was about?” I walk over to where the blankets are pooled on the hardwood floor.

He’s silent for a long moment, and I urge him to lie back down. I pick up the sheet, tuck it beneath the mattress, and pull it over him. Rhett stares at a spot across the room. After I toss the quilt over the bed and fold it down, he finally answers.

“Every detail. I think it’s a memory.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“At some point. But not tonight.” His eyes search my face, and I notice a vulnerability that wasn’t there before.

“Okay, well, I’m going back to bed.”

He dips his head, and I turn to walk out the door.

“Dana?” he asks.

“Yeah?” I respond, not turning around, trying to keep myself from going to him again.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I look at him from over my shoulder. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

I shut the door behind me and tip-toe across the hall to my room. Good thing Crew sleeps like the dead when he’s off duty. I can’t imagine how awkward it would have been if Crew walked in and found Rhett in the middle of a nightmare. Or worse, found me perched on Rhett’s bed.

For the next long while, I stare at the ceiling and pray for the man across the hallway. As I do, I can’t help but ask God why He chose me for this.

My eyes fill with tears. Rhett hurt me. Bad. The fact that he doesn’t remember doesn’t change that. I can’t let him back in, and I can’t fall for him again. I need to hang on to those memories instead of basking in the sweetness he’s showing me now. The Rhett who left me is still in there. Which means he could break me all over again.

There’s not a doubt in my mind that God set our reunion in action even if I can’t figure out why. Sure, I’ve been feeling more and more hopeless and helpless living as a single woman with a burning desire to get married and have a family. A burning desire that may never become my reality. Maybe this is God’s way of giving me closure so I can finally move on.

The voices of those annoying busybodies in my church echo again through my mind. For some reason, they can’t believe I’m not married yet.

The wiser ones told me to dig into God’s word and fall deeper in love with Jesus, and I have. At least, I’ve tried. My hope has been that this stagnancy is just a small bump in the road to a firmer faith.

But this whole thing with Rhett has taken the small bump and turned it into a mountain. Something that feels impossible to scale or overcome. It feels as though God is dangling my past relationship in front of me. Making me wonder—hope—that this could be my second chance with Rhett because the desires of my heart remain steadfastly bent on choosing him.

My gaze lands on my Bible. The moon casts its light over it as if to say, “You’ll find everything you need in here.” I get up and turn on my desk lamp, closing my eyes and silently praying I open it to a passage that will help me overcome my struggle. It opens to the end of 1 Corinthians, chapter 15:

“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”

I sit and read through the full chapter, trying to figure out what God wants me to pull from it. No matter how hard I try, I cannot concentrate enough to put all the pieces together. Much like it’s been for the last many weeks.

I rest my head on my folded hands.

“Sorry, Lord, it’s not in me tonight. I don’t get it. I don’t get any of this.” I pause for a long moment. Too many times lately, my prayers are me rattling off requests and concerns, and not enough of me sitting and trying to listen. Not that I hear God’s voice audibly. Sometimes, He speaks to me through a song or hymn that I’ve listened to, or a Bible verse I’ve read. Not tonight, though. My mind is a blank void. After a few more minutes of waiting in silence, my eyes grow heavier and I can’t keep them open.

“Help me to trust You more. Increase my faith and help me grow stronger in You.”

Even though I didn’t get an answer like I hoped I would, peace washes over me, and it feels like I can take a full breath for the first time in hours. I get up and shuffle my way back over to my bed. Crashing into it, I immediately fall asleep.