When Forever Stays (The Forever Duet)

Eleven

ELEVEN

RHETT

The last thing I expected was regaining all the misplaced fragments of my memories while standing at the café’s counter. Seeing the look on Dana’s face took me back to the night of our first and only date, and then the tsunami of destruction that immediately followed.

It’s as if the key was uncovered, and immediately unlocked every missing piece of my memory. Including who I was before arriving on Amber Island and why I ran here several years ago. A heavy weight of regret and trepidation lodges itself inside my chest.

“I didn’t know you had a son,” Dana says, her voice cracking at the last word.

Shaking my head, I say, “I didn’t either. Finding out you have a child with someone is shocking enough, but then in the same breath, Ashley—my ex—told me our son, Oscar, was hospitalized with acute liver failure and needed a liver transplant. I went into auto-pilot, knowing I needed to help him however I could.”

Dana gasps and places a hand on her chest. “Was he…is he okay now?”

I swallow. “Yeah. He got part of my liver and, praise God, his body didn’t reject it, and now he’s living his best life.”

I grit my jaw, wishing my memories hadn’t returned so I could continue living in this bubble with Dana where my past hadn’t come back to haunt me and ruin my second chance with this incredible woman. Because Ashley and Oscar are just the tip of the iceberg. Another thing I remember is something I never told her about. Something that could break the sliver of trust she may still have in me.

“Why do you not sound…happy about that? Him living his best life, I mean.” Her tone is cautious.

I blow out a puff of air, trying to figure out the best way to tell her. Once I processed everything Ashley dropped in my lap I wanted to reach out to Dana, but I convinced myself she wouldn’t want anything to do with me once she realized what my lifestyle was like before I came to know the Lord. My son would be a constant reminder of that life. Then the magnitude of everything else fell on me, and I knew having kept my real identity a secret would only distance us more. I made myself believe Dana was better off without me. That what we had–no matter how incredible–was not meant to last forever. A clean break would be best for us before we got too serious. But as I stare into this amazing woman’s eyes, I know my heart never believed those lies. I’ve been hers since the moment she stepped foot on my court in her tennis skirt, polo shirt, and sun visor.

Countless times, I kicked myself for canceling my cell service before boarding the flight to Chicago that changed my life. For not reaching out and telling Dana exactly what was happening. Then I remembered who I once was and that it was time for me to face the consequences of my past actions. Consequences I didn’t want to burden Dana with.

I focused on recovering from my own surgery and trying to connect with my teenage son, yet she still lingered in my thoughts. As much as I wanted to reconnect with Dana, my life was too messy for someone like her.

She’s young, beautiful, and kind, unscarred by life’s sharp edges, while I’m a man who’s walked a jagged line for most of his existence. Someone who earned the marks marring his skin. It wasn’t right to mix the pure with the scarred.

Ashley thought she was acting in Oscar’s best interest by keeping him from me after I ignored her attempts to reach out. Just like I thought keeping my true identity a secret from Dana—and everything associated with it—was what was best for our new relationship. No one on Amber Island knows who I was, so I didn’t think it would be necessary to tell her at first either. But when I finally got the urge to open up and tell her the truth on our date, I chickened out.

“It’s complicated,” I finally answer.

Dana removes her hand from mine and crosses her arms over her chest. Up until now, she’s stood silently, allowing me to work through my thoughts. “Then un-complicate it for me,” she says. It’s almost a demand.

I want to tell her everything andfor her to know who I truly am. But I can’t. Not yet.

She taps her foot and raises one of those sassy eyebrows as if telling me to go on.

I run my hands through my hair and say, “Oscar wants nothing to do with me. I lived less than a mile away from him, but whenever I tried to go see him, he refused to see me. Praise God his body didn’t reject the part of my liver he got. We went to check-ups at the same time, but he refused to go to lunch with me or do anything with me throughout it all. Eventually, I decided it was time to move back and return to a life where I felt at home.” I was only on Amber Island two days before I went surfing and had the accident, yet I feels like I’ve lived a lifetime since coming back.

She stands still as a statue and looks just past me. Her silence continues to stretch, and my nerves twist into a tight coil.

“Please, talk to me, Dana. Say something.”

She uncrosses her arms and tosses them in the air. “I’m happy you’re both okay.”

A smidgeon of my tension releases but I don’t know what else to say.

She must not like my silence because she adds, “What else do you want me to say?”

Tell me you forgive me. Tell me you understand. Tell me we’re going to get past this, I want to say but don’t. “All I want to know is what you’re thinking.”

She shakes her head and chews on her bottom lip before answering, “I need time. And space.” Turning back toward the café, she adds, “And I need to get back to work.”

As we walk to The Screaming Peach, the urge to take her hand consumes me. But her stiff posture screams at me to stay away. So I do.

We follow a large group of people into the café. She gives me what appears to be a regretful look before slipping behind the counter and donning her apron.

I’m too distracted by the lack of closure to our conversation to think about much else. I grab my Bible and lukewarm coffee, then slip out the front door as she waits on customer after customer.

Dana said she needs time. It’s a fair request and one that I plan on respecting.

Instead of going back to Crew’s apartment to wallow in self-pity, I head over to Dr. Woodhouse’s office early. Considering my memories are back, my headaches are gone, and the pain in my side has dropped to a minimal ache, I’m hoping he’ll tell me I can live on my own. If he does, I can finally go home. Now that I know where my home is.

As much as I appreciate Crew’s hospitality—if I can call it that—I’m ready to be out of his apartment. It’s obvious I’ll never win him over, and to be fair, I’m not his biggest fan either. Every time he’s been around, it’s like navigating a minefield.

The only person I want to be with is the woman who said she needs space.

I open the door to Dr. Woodhouse's office and the bell jingles. After I give the receptionist my name and date of birth I sit in one of the chairs in the waiting room.

“Dr. Woodhouse will see you now,” the young nurse says only a few minutes later.

I follow her into the exam room and sit in one of the chairs. Dr. Woodhouse comes in moments later with a smile.

“How are you feeling?” he asks as he gets himself situated.

“A lot better, thank God. My memories came back.”

Dr. Woodhouse claps. “That’s great news! How’s your head feeling? Any dizziness?”

“Nothing terrible. Everything else is feeling better too.”

We continue the exam, and as I had hoped, he clears me to go home and resume most activities—although he cautions me against surfing alone. I agree and set an appointment to follow up in a few weeks.

There’s a small lift in my spirit as I walk to Crew’s apartment. Even though things are uncertain with Dana, at least I’ll be in my own place again and free of the tension with Crew. Of course, having a mostly clean bill of health from the doctor is a step in the right direction too.

Once I let myself into the apartment, I pack up my minimal belongings and throw them in a garbage bag I find in one of Crew’s cupboards.

I’m getting ready to leave when there’s a knock at the door. I swing the door open and find Dana standing on the doorstep. She shifts on her feet as I take her in. She’s wearing ripped denim shorts, a black tank top, and sneakers. Her hair is down, the wavy strands fall over her tanned shoulders. It’s a more relaxed look than the one she had at the café. Hopefully, it’s a good sign.

“Dana.” My voice comes out thick.

“Hey,” she says almost shyly.

“Come in.” She follows me inside, and I shut the door behind her. “What brings you over?” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I add, “I thought you needed space.”

Dana shakes her head. “I was wrong to say that earlier. I didn’t handle your news well, and I’m sorry for that.”

I shake my head in disbelief. “How do you think you should have handled it then?”

She blows out a puff of air, making a piece of hair rise off her forehead.

“Honestly, I don’t know. Everything just felt like a lot all at once?—“

“It was.” I clear my throat. “For me and for you.”

Her eyes soften. “I can’t imagine how you felt when you found out about Oscar. I guess—,“ she starts, then snaps her mouth closed. “I guess I can understand why you didn’t reach out to me.”

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You do?”

She lifts a shoulder. “I mean, you had just discovered you had a son who was in a literal life-or-death situation. It would be hard to think of anything else.”

Without thought, my lips pull into a smile; I feel increasingly undeserving of this woman’s forgiveness. I take a step toward her. “I can promise you, Little Siren, I won’t make that mistake again. No matter what happens I need you to know I’m not running again.” Opening my arms wide, I add, “I’m all yours. If you choose to give me a second chance.” She’s quiet but doesn’t deny that she will give me that opportunity, so I add, “Let me prove that I’m a man who will work hard every day to be worthy of your affection.”

“Oh, okay, well.” She looks at the ground. “We’ll have to see about that. But I think I’d like to be friends. Just friends.” She looks up at me from beneath her lashes. “At least for now.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I ask, “So is that a yes then? Are you giving me a second chance?”

She chews on the corner of her bottom lip before saying, “Only time will tell.”

I can’t help but smile at her. “Oh, so it’s gonna be like that? I’ll have to work for it?”

Dana tilts her head to the side and gives me a flirty smile. “Absolutely. You clearly don’t know me at all if you thought I’d just let you right back in.”

Her request is fair, but her playful smile has me pushing her a little.“Why don’t we try to pick up where we left off?” I wrap my arms around her waist and lean forward. Instead of giving in to me like I hoped she would, she takes a step back, forcing me to release her.

She lifts her hands and playfully pushes me. “Oh no, no, no. You don’t get to kiss me. Not yet. We’re starting over.” She chews her lip again as if she’s nervous. “I think we need to take things slow this time. Allow ourselves to really get to know each other as friends and not dive in head first because of our chemistry.” Despite her words, I can feel the pull she has toward me, the magnetic field that surrounded us even when I had no memories of anything or anyone.

I try to use that to my advantage and drop my voice an octave. “Is that so? And here I thought you were mostly attracted to my charming personality.”

She lifts her chin. “Charm is deceitful.”

“And beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised,” I finish.

Her pretty lips lift in a smile. “That is so. Besides, Amber Island is my home now. It would be more than a vacation fling with the hot tennis instructor I wouldn’t need to worry about seeing again.”

“You were never a fling. No matter what happens, I need you to get that through your thick but pretty head.”

She looks down at the floor. “I know.” Then she opens her mouth to say something but snaps it closed.

I tilt her chin up with the tip of my finger until her gaze meets mine. “Dana Swann, will you go out with me tonight?”

Her eyebrows lift, and she removes my finger from her chin. I tuck both hands into my pockets and take a step back, to give her the space she craves.

She asks, “Would this be a date?”

“No. From what you just said, I’m assuming you want this to be a just friends outing.”

Despite her flirty tone, she says, “You would be correct in that assumption.”

I can’t help as my lips tilt into a smile, welcoming the challenge Dana Swann just dropped into my lap. She may be reluctant to give me a second chance, but I won’t waste this opportunity. It may take some time, but I will show her how much she means to me, and how good we can be together as more than just friends.

“Did Dr. Woodhouse free you to go home?” she asks.

“Yes.”

“That’s great!” She claps her hands, then asks, “Would you like a ride there?”

“That would be great.”

We leave Crew’s apartment and get into her car. I give her the directions to my place, and as we travel down my bumpy gravel driveway, I send up a prayer of thanks.

“This is it,” I say as she parks next to my Ford Ranger. The mere sight of my truck screams “freedom,” and another wave of gratefulness washes over me.

“It’s cute,” Dana announces as she looks at my tiny hut.

“Do you want to come in?” I ask.

She grips the steering wheel as she shakes her head. “No, I’m sure you have some people you need to contact?”

“You’re right,” I respond. “I should probably give Ashley a call and check in on Oscar.”

“That’s what I was thinking.” She gives me a genuine smile, and my chest warms at her understanding.

“All right, well, I’ll see you tonight. I’ll pick you up this time.” I’ve missed driving and want to be a perfect gentleman on this outing.

“Are you allowed to drive?”

“According to Dr. Woodhouse, yes.”

“Okay, then I’ll see you later.”

I fight the urge to lean across the console and kiss her cheek. Instead, I just say, “Thank you, Dana. For everything.”

“I was happy to do it.” The sincerity in her voice sets me at ease.

After we say our goodbyes, I go into my hut and straight to my phone on the counter where I left it before the accident.The battery is dead, so I plug it in and wait impatiently. I try to pick up the minimal clutter to keep myself occupied. As soon as I see the screen light up, I call Ashley.

“Well, glad to hear you’re still alive!” Ashley answers in a clipped tone.

“I’m sorry it’s been a couple of days. But I had a bit of an accident.”

Her tone immediately softens. “Are you okay? What happened?”

I tell her the full story, from my surfing accident to the part where Dana dropped me off at home. Thankfully, I don’t need to go into detail about who Dana is to Ashley. After my surgery where I gave Oscar part of my liver, I was loopy coming off the anesthesia and told Ashley about Dana.

“Wow,” she says, clearing her throat. “Thank God you’re okay and that Dana found you. What a surprising blessing.”

“You have no idea.” I run my free hand through my hair. “How’s Oscar? Has he…” I trail off, knowing Ashley will understand what I’m asking.

“No. I’m sorry, RJ really.”

I push down the lump that forms in my throat. “Can you call me Rhett?” My stage name was just that—a stage name and not someone I want to be associated with anymore. She’s been calling me RJ since we reconnected but now it just feels wrong.

“Yeah, of course,” she says. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it bothered you that I called you RJ.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s a me thing. I wanted to bring it up before but it didn’t seem important in light of everything else. But ever since coming to Christ, I’ve become a new creation and want to shed the image of who I once was.”

“I get it,” she whispers into the phone. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay now. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Let me know if Oscar changes his mind.” That lump in my throat returns.

“I promise.”

We say our goodbyes and hang up. Immediately, the heaviness in my soul is back as well as the pull between wanting to forget who I once was and knowing that if it wasn’t for my past self, Oscar wouldn’t exist. Even if he wants nothing to do with me.

I scan through the minimal pictures I have of my son. Ashley sent them to me after Oscar’s successful surgery, wanting me to at least be able to see pieces of his childhood.

My son is now sixteen, the age when I should be teaching him how to drive. I’ve already missed out on so much of his life, and as hard as it is to stay away, I know it has to be his choice to connect with me.

I spend some time in my Bible, praying over Oscar, Ashley, and Dana. Asking God to light the path of His will because right now I feel like I'm wandering through the darkest wilderness.