When Haru Was Here

Seven

The sun is gone when we leave the museum. I don’t realize how much time has passed until we’re outside again. There are so many places I want to show him. But there’s only enough time for one last surprise before the night ends. As the train drops us off at the next stop, I take Haru by the hand, leading him down the sidewalk.

“Close your eyes for a second,” I say.

“Is this a surprise?”

“Just keep them closed until we’re inside.”

Willis Tower stands 108 stories tall, with an observation deck that overlooks all of Chicago. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. It’s sort of a touristy spot, but you can’t get these views anywhere else. I press the elevator button and tell Haru he can open his eyes.

A television screen turns on above the doors. As we start to ascend, an informational video plays, narrated by a woman’s voice.

“Welcome to the Skydeck,” the voice says. “You’re on your way to the top of the tallest building in the western hemisphere. Along the way, watch as we pass by some of the tallest buildings, monuments, and structures in the world…” Images appear on screen, showing us our elevation in real time.

At the sixth floor, we pass the Great Sphinx of Giza in Egypt. At forty-nine, we reach the height of the Space Needle in Seattle. Ninety floors takes us to the height of the Eiffel Tower. As the number rises, my stomach clenches a little. I forgot how high this thing goes without stopping. Haru turns his head, squeezing my hand. As we pass a hundred floors, something strange happens. The television glitches, scrambling with gray-and-white static as the sound ends.

Then the screen goes black.

Haru and I look at each other, confused.

“I’m sure it’s just a technical issue,” I say.

The doors open on the hundred and third floor. I breathe a sigh of relief, making Haru chuckle a little. We step off the elevator and head through the exhibit hall. Usually, the observatory is crowded. But for some reason, there’s only a few people here tonight, making the place seem larger than I remember. There’s piano music playing in the background, growing louder as we get closer to the observation room. Maybe it’s just me, but the song is strangely familiar. Has Jasmine played this for me before? I close my eyes for a second, trying to recognize the melody. I can almost see her fingers floating above the keys. But the music fades away before I can finally grasp it.

When I open my eyes, Haru isn’t there beside me.

“Haru?”

Where did he go this time? I wander into the observation room in search of him. Floor-to-ceiling windows wrap around the entire floor, giving us panoramic views of Chi cago. I’ve never been here at night before. The lights of the city shine like goldenrods, stretching toward the skyline.

And then I see him.

Haru stands on the other side of the room, hands deep in his pockets, staring out at the city. His silhouette is dark against the window. I make my way toward him, wondering what he’s looking at.

Haru points at the buildings below. “You can see the Bean from here.”

“ Really? ” I press my face against the glass.

He laughs. “I’m kidding.”

“Oh… very funny.”

Haru smiles, looking out the window again. This side of the observatory overlooks the marina, boats lining the water like little toys. “You should see the views we have in Tokyo. I could have shown you them last summer.” Before I have a chance to respond, he turns abruptly. “What’s over there?”

I follow his gaze. “Oh, that’s the Skydeck. It’s what I wanted to show you.” It’s an enclosed balcony, made entirely of glass, including the floor. “There’s usually a long line, but looks like no one’s there.”

“We must be lucky.”

I smile and grab his hand. The Skydeck hangs over the edge of the building. There’s only enough room for a few people at a time. I step inside carefully, trying not to look down. But I can’t help it. The city stretches out like an ocean beneath our shoes. As I’m staring through the floor, Haru clenches my hand again.

“You’re scared,” he says.

“What makes you think that?”

“I can feel you shaking.”

I take in a deep breath as his fingers lace through mine. Usually, I’ll close my eyes and pretend I’m on the ground again. But I feel safe with Haru around. Like nothing bad is going to happen. We take in the skyline, pointing out different buildings, the places we want to go to next. I bet the sunrise would be beautiful from here. I wish we could watch it together. It hits me that I haven’t thought about college applications and everything that’s been stressing me out. I like having someone to spend the day with. It makes me forget the rest of the world for a moment.

There’s a silence as we watch a plane pass. Then Haru turns his head and says, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah,” I say.

“Why did you leave that time?”

“What do you mean?”

“Last summer when you got on the train, I asked you to stay,” Haru reminds me. “Why didn’t you?”

I close my eyes as the memory comes back. Paper wishes fluttering in trees, the two of us running through the train station, the doors closing between us. Feels like yesterday when we lost each other on the platform. “I made a promise to my friend,” I say, staring out through the glass again. “He was the reason I went on the trip.”

“You two must be close,” Haru says.

“Pretty close.”

“Were you in love with him?”

The question catches me off guard. I’m not really sure how to answer it. I stare out the window and say, “Maybe I was. But it doesn’t really matter anymore. He passed away almost a year ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Haru says. “It must have been painful, losing someone you loved.”

“Yeah, it was. Especially when he never loved me back.”

“How do you know that?”

“It’s a long story. And it’s not my favorite.”

Haru nods. “You don’t have to tell me.”

We stare out at the view again. Then I turn back to Haru, something on my chest. “I wish I had gone with you, though,” I tell him. “I think about it all the time. Sometimes, I have dreams about you. The two of us at the train station again. It all just happened so fast, you know? I really thought you were coming on with me. I didn’t mean to lose the slip of paper…” My voice trails off.

“It’s alright,” Haru says, squeezing my hand. “None of that matters anymore. We’re together now.”

“A second chance,” I say. “And I’m not leaving this time.”

Haru smiles as he leans closer. There’s a flutter in my stomach, maybe from the way he’s looking at me. His eyes reflect the lights from the city like a mirror. I wonder if he can see them in mine, too. He moves his thumb gently across my cheek. For a second, I think he’s about to kiss me. I shut my eyes, waiting for our lips to touch. But someone taps me on the shoulder from behind, interrupting the moment. I turn around. A girl around my age is standing with a group of friends.

“Do you mind if we come in next?”

I blink and notice other people behind her. The airy silence has shifted to a chattering crowd, like switching radio stations. That’s when I realize Haru is gone. I step out of the Skydeck, scanning the room for him. There are more people in the observatory now, holding their phones in the air, taking photos of the view. I circle the floor several times, but there’s no sign of him anywhere. But I keep looking. Then I take the elevator back down, hoping to find him waiting for me.

I stand outside the entrance, watching people go in and out of the doors. I wait for a long time, but Haru never appears. It’s starting to get late. Maybe he isn’t coming back tonight. I give it a few more minutes before I head home alone.