34. Lissie
Chapter 34
Lissie
“Beg me, please.”
M y sister meets me when I land, her eyes welcoming. She took the week off after I called her the night before to tell her everything. The conversation had been difficult, with long pauses and raw emotion that our mother didn’t leave her anything. I offered her some of the money, but she refused. “It’s only fair,” she said, her voice steady despite the hurt. “I wasn’t raised with you, and I didn’t share the same struggles. The money is yours.”
The whole flight, I thought about Milo. The way he looked at me when I said goodbye, to the kiss that I think will linger for many days to come. I am constantly touching my lips, unable to stop myself.
“Lissie,” Savannah squeals, throwing her arms around me. “I can’t believe you actually left. Every time I tried to get you to visit me, you always said no.” She laughs and pulls back. “How did it feel, your first flight?” She picks up my bag and heads for the doors.
“Good. When did you arrive?”
“Just an hour ago. Thought I would hang around until you arrived. Ready to check in to the hotel?”
I nod as we walk out and get into a cab.
When we arrive at the hotel, I check in, and then we go up to the room.
“Do you plan to tell me about what happened?” she asks.
I sit on the bed, tucking my feet under me, as I check my cell. I only see messages from Letti telling me how much she misses me already.
“I left him,” I tell her.
“Okay, yeah, I get that. But what made you finally leave him?”
What was it that finally pushed me over the edge? I think it was a bit of everything. Finally seeing myself, realizing I was more than what he thought I could be, that I deserved to have more in life than just being a wife who barely survived, is the biggest reason.
I smile at Savannah and say, “We didn’t love each other. I think I stayed partially for the fact that he was all I had after our mother died.”
She hangs her head and wrings her hands in her lap as she says, “I’m sorry you felt that way. And I’m sorry I was such a shit sister.”
“It wasn’t on you,” I remind her. “And I’m doing good now.” I place my hand over hers and give a gentle squeeze.
We order room service and talk most of the night. I told her about Cody, how we stopped kissing and touching each other ages ago, and that it was bound to happen. She confessed that she never liked him but was thankful for his help when she needed it.
I say nothing on that subject.
Savannah asks me about my father. I told her that I had hired a private investigator, and when he found him, I searched for him on Facebook. He has two other kids—teenagers, possibly even adults now. I have a brother and sister that I knew nothing about.
That kind of hurts.
The following two days, we explored the city.
And by the weekend, it was finally time to meet my father.
When I walk into the restaurant, I see a man who looks so familiar to me, even though I’ve never met him. My sister is waiting at the hotel. I told her I wanted to do this alone, and at first, she was unsure, but I felt it was just something I had to do.
“Elizabeth?” he says, standing as I approach his table. He’s dressed in a very elegant suit and is the only man sitting by himself. “You look so much like her,” he adds, and my heart hurts a little when he says that. My mother had no family and hardly any friends. Those friends she did have disappeared after I got with Cody, so to hear that I look like her warms something inside of me.
“It’s just Lissie. Everyone calls me Lissie,” I tell him.
He nods and waves for me to sit.
I pull out a seat and put my bag in my lap nervously. My cell dings and I clutch it in one hand as I grip my bag with the other.
“It’s nice to meet you.” He sounds a bit nervous, his voice slightly wavering as he fidgets with his hands on the table.
“To be honest, I didn’t even know who you were until recently,” I tell him. “She never spoke of you.” He scratches his cheek, and I notice his short stubble is graying, but he looks good. I would guess he’s in his late forties, but I know he’s in his fifties.
“I have two other children,” he blurts, which I already knew thanks to stalking him on social media due to the PI that found him. “I told them about you, and they would like to meet you if you’re up for that.” My thumb swipes up and down my bag strap. “My wife is also excited to meet you,” he adds.
“Why did you never reach out?” I ask.
He sighs. “I was scared. Your mother was a lot like a roller coaster. And while I was on the ride, I enjoyed it. But when I got off and back to real life… well, that was different.” I look at him, confused.
“My wife was angry at me for years, so I stayed away. She knew I sent your mother money but never really said much else, and, to be honest, I was afraid if I brought you up to her again, she would want to leave me, as it would remind her of the mistake I made.” I hone in on only one word “mistake,” and he notices me bristle. “I don’t think of you as a mistake, Lissie. My judgment was the mistake.” I suck in a breath and nod.
“A few years back, I tried to reach out to you, but your husband told me to stay away, that you never wanted to know me, and that if I ever contacted you, he would call the police and put a restraining order on me.” He takes a breath. “I didn’t want to fuck up your life more than I already did.”
What he says about Cody shocks me. Why did I never know about this? I would not have turned him away. I needed someone other than Cody.
Though I am partly to blame for that, let’s face it, so I can’t be angry.
“I’m divorcing him. Our marriage wasn’t good. And at the time, he was all I thought I had,” I manage to say.
“I’m sorry.” Those two little words are filled with regret, and they heal a small part of me.
Like I wasn’t the one people ran away from.
That they had to escape.
I wasn’t the problem.
I hold back the tears at the realization and smile at him. “How old are your kids?”
“Rebecca is eighteen, and Jackson is twenty.” His smile is so large when he talks about them, and I can tell he’s proud of them. “Rebecca is deciding what she wants to do in this life. And Jackson? Well…” He shrugs. “At first, I thought he wanted to take after me and go into finance, but then he changed and took all his savings and invested in a business. He owns a motorcycle shop. He loves them.” Motorcycles will forever remind me of the man with chocolate eyes, whose lips I still feel tingling on mine.
We talk for another few hours before I decide to leave, with a plan to meet the rest of his family— my family, I guess you could say. He tells me I don’t have to, that it could just be us getting to know each other for now. But I have family now, more than just Savannah. I would love to know them.
On my way to the hotel, I check my cell and find a picture of my books, sent from Milo with the caption, Read to me…
I smile the whole way back.
“So, he’s nice?” Letti asks a few days later. If I don’t reply to her texts within a few hours, she calls.
“Yes, and his family is so lovely. I honestly thought his wife wouldn’t like me. But she was so kind,” I tell her as I’m lying on the bed. Savannah is getting ready to leave to go home. “Have they found him?” I whisper to Letti.
“No, they haven’t, but Milo will. I have no doubt.” I chew on the skin of my lip. “I think he misses you,” she says cautiously. When I don’t reply, she changes the subject.
“Mason asked to move in with me.”
“Really? What did you say?”
“That I’ll think about it. I don’t want to rush anything, you know?”
“I do.” It’s why I had to walk away from Milo. The old me would have stayed and done whatever he asked; I know that. But now I have changed and won’t do what others want me to do just because they can manipulate me.
“Do you plan to stay there?” she questions.
“I’m going to stay for a few weeks at least, then maybe do some traveling. I have this money now, so why not.”
“Hell yeah,” she agrees.
“Want to come to Thailand with me?” I ask. “My treat.”
“Oh my God, are you kidding?” she screams. “When should I pack my bags?”
I laugh. “I have to get a passport first, but I will expedite it.”
For the first time in a long time, my life feels like it’s mine .
Fuck, I love that feeling.