When He Reads To Me

45. Lissie

Chapter 45

Lissie

“A broken promise.”

M ilo pushes the door open and walks in—blood coats his face and arms. I have pushed myself up against the wall, unable to move. My eyes are puffy, and my head is sore from crying. And all I can think about is that it’s my fault Letti is dead.

“I asked you to let him go,” I croak as I look up at him.

Milo walks over to me and drops down into a crouch so we’re eye to eye. “You did.”

“I asked you not to kill my husband,” I whisper.

“I broke that promise,” he says, still not moving from in front of me. “He is dead, and I will not apologize for that, even though I know it will hurt you.”

A new range of emotions rushes through me.

So much fucking hurt.

Pain.

I loved Cody once, but I loved Letti more.

Of that, I have no doubt.

It feels like my chest will cave in and crack open, and with it, the pain will pour out. But that doesn’t happen.

“This will not break you, Elizabeth. Do you hear me? It will not .” Milo stands, walks to his chest of drawers, and strips his clothes off. I curl myself into a ball. I remember her kind smile, and then I remember Cody’s.

“Lissie.” Soft hands touch me.

I open my eyes to find a face that I’ve only seen a few times. I don’t even know her name.

“I’m Bambi, Axe’s sister. Do you remember me?” I say nothing. “You’ve been in here all day, and you need to move. Milo was too afraid to touch you. But he had to go. Letti’s mother…” She pauses. “Letti’s mother needed him. He asked me to stay with you. I need you to move, Lissie.” Bambi touches me again, her hands soft and gentle. She goes to help me up, and I let her.

Standing, she puts her arm around my waist. “Milo doesn’t know what to do. He’s not used to emotions, but you really did a number on that man. He’s obsessed with you.”

“How can you be near me?” I ask.

The door opens, and Mason stands there. Bambi’s hands tighten around me as Mason’s bloodshot eyes lock on mine.

“The funeral is tomorrow. You need to be there,” he announces miserably. He pauses for a moment before continuing, “It’s not your fault.” I don’t know how he can have compassion for me in a moment like this. Both of us are so broken. “She would be so fucking mad if I was angry at you, it is not your fault. You did not control his actions,” he says, then turns and walks out.

“He’s right, you know.” I push her hand away and nod. “Your sister is at Milo’s House… she isn’t allowed here. But I am going to take you to her.”

My sister?

“Savannah,” I whisper, then I nod and follow her out.

She takes me straight to Milo’s house, where Savannah is waiting out front, still dressed in her uniform.

When I get out of the car, she wraps her arms around me and holds me tight.

I remember the first time I saw Letti.

And I remember the last.

As if it were all one.

It blurs my vision as well as my memories. They hurt. Hurt so much that I feel my heart being torn from my body.

She was a woman who showed me kindness when no one else would.

I’m not really sure how to stop loving her or Milo.

Or if that’s even possible.

Someone’s hand slips into mine, and I have to pull away. I hear the intake of breath from whoever it is, and I should care. But I don’t.

It’s not in me to care right now.

People around me are talking, and I look down to see my heels digging deeper and deeper into the ground. It’s wet, and by the looks of the sky, it’s going to rain again soon.

Very soon.

Running my hands down my black dress, I suck in my breath and try to hold it, wondering what they see right now when they look at me.

Black hair with tight curls I could never manage until I got older, mascara dripping down my face. Blinking through the tears that won’t stop soaking my eyes, I look straight ahead.

Where Letti is.

The one person who could make me laugh, the one person who pulled me from the darkness when all I wanted to do was to allow it to swallow me whole.

I feel the stares, and I wonder if they’re judging me, thinking I shouldn’t be here because it’s my fault.

“You can leave,” I manage to say to Milo, who I know is standing next to me. He mumbles something under his breath, and I stand tall where I am unable to move, my heels still sinking further into the damp ground until it feels like I am wearing flats.

“No.” I hear him say.

Lifting my hand, I swipe at my face. The rain has started falling again. And as I look to where Letti is, I wonder if she knows that I love her.

I do.

The dark brown casket begins lowering into the hole. And I fall to my knees as it does. My dress is covered in mud, and my new black heels have fallen off my feet. Probably still stuck deep in the ground where I stood.

I want to crawl to the casket with her.

Why?

Fucking why?

I hate this.

The only good person to ever be in my life and love me with all my flaws is being buried as I watch with disbelief.

The rain becomes heavier, and my hair sticks to my face. My clothes are clinging to my body.

I can’t look anymore.

I can’t.

“It’s time to go, Elizabeth.” Milo doesn’t wait for me to answer. When I glance up, I notice it’s just us here now because everyone else has gone. He lifts me and carries me to his car. “I want you to stay with me,” he says as he starts the engine.

“People I love die. Do you really want that to happen to you?” I say as the rain splatters the windshield, the sky an unrelenting gray. The clouds hang heavy and low, mirroring my somber mood. Each drop of rain seems to carry the weight of sorrow, turning the world outside into a blurred, dreary canvas.

“I would gladly take any death if it meant I got to have you.” I gasp at that. And just as I turn to face him, my cell rings. Looking at it, I see my father’s name.

“He called yesterday. I spoke to him,” he says, surprising me. “He’s waiting for you with your sister.”

“You let them into your house? You hate people at your house,” I say, surprised.

“Not if it involves you.”

He ends the conversation as we pull up to the house. I see my father, dressed in a suit, and my sister standing next to him. When I get out of the car, my father walks up to me and pulls me into a hug. I accept it, but I feel my heart break again.

“I always have room for you. Come home,” he says. I nod into his chest, and when I pull away, I see Savannah has my bag in her hand.

“I packed everything for you. Go heal. Remember, you have a family now that loves you,” she says with a sad smile.

I glance around to see Milo walking into the house. The door shuts behind him, and my heart breaks a little at the sound of the lock snicking into position.