9. Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Noah
Our shopping trip is a complete success, and now Davey’s ready for his first day of school. We’ve stocked up on everything—a closet full of clothes, new shoes, and all the school supplies he could need. As we head home, a large pepperoni pizza riding shotgun, I catch him stifling yet another yawn.
"Feeling tired, Davey?" I ask, smiling at his sleepy eyes.
"Nope!" he insists, fighting off sleep with determination.
He gazes out the window, his face thoughtful, the world outside blurring by. After a few quiet moments, he turns to me, his voice soft but certain. "Daddy, Mommy is coming to see me."
"I know, Buddy. She told me." I can only hope she meant it when she promised him that.
When I spoke to Marian this morning, she mentioned it, but there was something in her tone—a warning aimed more at my growing bond with Lily than a genuine plan to visit her son.
"Davey told me you were out with the babysitter," she began.
"Not that my dating life is any of your business," I replied, keeping my voice steady, "but yes, Lily is Davey's nanny, and yes, I took her out last night."
"Really, Noah?! You can’t be serious."
"Your opinion doesn't matter to me, Marian."
She shot back with a sharp edge to her voice. "Oh, but it should! You're turning forty-one next month. There's an eighteen-year gap between you two!"
"I can do the math," I said, my patience wearing thin. "How do you know how old she is?"
"You mean how young she is." I could almost see the sly smile forming on her lips. "I did my research. Your nieces posted all about her birthday party a couple of months ago."
"You're stalking her social media?" I asked, incredulous.
"She's taking care of my child," she retorted, her tone growing colder.
"Which is a lot more than you're doing," I shot back, unable to hide my frustration.
"Enough with the insults," she snapped back. "The bottom line is I needed to know what kind of person she is."
"Did your snooping satisfy your curiosity?" I asked. "Because if you have any more questions, I can answer them directly."
"Noah, I miss you," she said, her voice laced with a sweetness that felt anything but genuine. "We were good together, right?"
"We were," I replied, my tone firm. "Until we weren’t."
"Do you ever think about us? she asked, her voice soft. "How it would be if we got back together?"
"I'm not going to entertain a fantasy that will never happen," I replied, the weight of reality pressing down on me.
"I still love you, Noah."
"I don’t doubt that you once did," I said quietly, "but somewhere along the way, what you felt for me stopped being enough."
"I made a mistake," she whispered, her words hanging in the air.
I hesitated, struggling to find the right words. "I don’t even know how to respond to that."
She paused, then changed the subject again with unsettling ease. "Do you think Jon could help me find a short-term rental? I’d like to come for an extended visit."
"If you’re coming to see your son, I’m sure Jon can help you. Davey would love to see you. He misses you. But let me be clear, Marian: if you’re coming to see me, don’t bother."
"We had a great life together, Love. I want that again. Don’t we deserve a second chance? We could be a family again. Davey deserves to grow up with both parents in his life."
"Where is this coming from, exactly? We’ve been divorced for a year. Your idea, by the way. Did you just now realize you've had a change of heart? This is about Lily, isn’t it? So let me be clear about that, too: I love her. You and I are done. There won’t be a second chance for us. It’s over."
Her voice dropped to a chilling whisper, "It's not over, Love. Now give me Jon's number."
***
As I park in the driveway, I glance at the rearview mirror and see my boy fast asleep, his face calm and serene. Lily stands on the porch, and the moment our eyes meet, a smile lights up her face. She's so beautiful that it leaves me speechless. She descends the steps, and when she notices Davey asleep in the back seat, she wraps her arms around me the moment I step out of the car.
"I got the flowers," she whispers softly, her eyes locked on mine. "Thank you. They're beautiful."
"You're beautiful," I reply, "and you’re welcome." I wrap an arm around her and draw her close. Her eyes speak volumes, conveying a love that needs no words. I lean down, capturing her lips in a slow, deep kiss, a tender exchange filled with longing. As our lips move together, the world fades away, leaving just the two of us lost in each other's arms. When my lips leave hers, the dimple on her cheek deepens as she smiles up at me, a soft blush coloring her cheeks. I brush a thumb over that dimple, marveling at how something so simple could make my heart race.
I reach into the car and hand her the pizza. Then, I gently lift Davey out of the car. As soon as he senses the motion, his eyes flutter open. "Are we home yet?" he asks, his voice sleepy.
"Yes," I reply, smiling at him. "Do you want to eat some pizza, or would you prefer to nap first?"
"Pizza!" he exclaims, now fully awake.
"Okay," I say, setting him down, "Help me bring some of these bags inside."
I pop the trunk, and we retrieve all of today’s purchases together.
"I made a salad to go with the pizza," Lily says as we walk inside.
"My mommy is coming to visit me!" Davey announces, his voice bubbling with excitement.
Lily glances at me, then turns back to Davey with a bright smile. "That’s wonderful, Davey. I’m so happy you’ll get to see your mom."
"Let me take all this stuff upstairs," I say, juggling the shopping bags while holding Lily's blue gaze. "Davey, come on, Buddy, let's go."
***
As Davey carefully hangs his new shirts and pants on hangers, I tuck the rest of his things into drawers, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts. I search for the right moment, the perfect opening to share what’s been weighing on my heart. But no moment feels right, and I realize it never will. So, I take a deep breath and dive in.
"Buddy," I begin, my voice steady, "remember when we talked about Lily last night?"
Davey nods, his little face serious as he turns to face me. "Yes, you told me she loves me, but that my mommy is my only mommy."
"That’s right, Son," I say, kneeling down so I’m at his level. "But I need to tell you something else." I pause, searching his eyes, hoping he’ll understand. "I... I like Lily."
Davey's big eyes meet mine. "I like her too, Daddy. She's nice."
"She is," I agree, but my chest tightens as I realize he doesn't understand yet. "I like holding her hand when we walk together."
He tilts his head, thinking. "She holds my hand when we cross the street and sometimes when we go to Ava's house."
He doesn’t see it, not yet. "I like her as more than just a friend, Buddy."
He frowns, confusion clouding his eyes. "But, Daddy, what about Mommy?"
The question hits me like a punch. "Your mommy and I...we’re not married anymore."
"But she's coming to see us," he says, his voice small and tinged with hope.
"She’s coming to see you, Davey. She wants to spend time with you."
"But Mommy said—" his lip quivers, and he stops in mid-sentence. I see the struggle in his young mind, trying to make sense of something so complicated.
"Remember what I told you," I say gently. "Your mommy will always be your mom; nothing can change that. She loves you so much, and that love will never, ever go away."
He nods, and I watch as his little face softens, the confusion in his eyes easing just a bit.
"How do you feel about me liking Lily?" I ask, bracing myself, hoping for the best but preparing for whatever might come.
Davey’s response is simple, cutting through me like a blade. "I like Mommy more."
I swallow hard. "I know, Buddy," I say gently. "And that’s okay."
His eyes meet mine, searching for something he can understand. "Do you have any questions?" My voice is barely above a whisper.
He hesitates, his small hands gripping the edge of his shirt. "Will Mommy be sad if you like Lily?"
A sharp ache tugs at my chest, knowing that whatever I say next could shape his understanding of love, trust, and loyalty. The weight of it presses down on me, making it hard to find the right words. "Your mommy and I were married for a while so God could make us your parents. But now…now we're just friends."
"Okay," he says, the resignation clear in that one small word.
"Davey, we love you so much. We live to give you all the love you deserve and to make sure you’re happy."
"I'm happy, Daddy," he assures me, opening his arms for a hug.
"Good," I whisper as I hug him back, wishing I could protect him from a world that’s shifting beneath his feet.
***
Before Davey takes a bite from his pizza, he tilts his head up at Lily. "Do you like my daddy?" His question makes my eyes snap up, first to him and then to Lily.
Lily, mid-bite with a slice of pizza, widens her eyes in surprise but nods in affirmation.
"He likes you," Davey announces with complete confidence, just as I nearly choke on my iced tea.
"Out of the mouths of babes," I mutter, glancing at Lily, who's smiling back at me.
"Why do you like him?" Davey's follow-up question catches me off guard. Lily's beautiful eyes lock onto mine, speaking volumes before she softly answers, "I like his eyes."
"I like your eyes," Davey says with a grin. "Blue is my favorite color."
"Thank you, Sweetie," Lily replies, a soft blush coloring her cheeks. "You know what I like about you?"
"What?!" Davey asks, his excitement bubbling over.
"I like the tiny freckles on your nose," she says with a warm smile, gently tapping the tip of Davey's nose with her fingertip.
My son's smile reassures me that his world has righted itself, flooding me with relief and a surge of love for both him and the woman sitting across the table. I mouth a silent "thank you" to her, grateful for how easily she can put Davey at ease.
***
Davey and Lily spend the afternoon splashing around in the pool while I’m holed up in the office, putting the final touches on my manuscript due in a week.
By six o'clock, I’m in the kitchen, preparing a simple dinner of fried rice and grilled teriyaki chicken.
Suddenly, Davey bursts into the kitchen, laughing as Lily chases him in a playful game of tag. His earlier sadness is gone, replaced by pure joy.
"Dinner is almost ready, you two!" I call out as they zoom past.
"I'm taking a shower!" Davey shouts, sprinting up the stairs.
"I’ll be right up to help you," Lily replies, then turns to me and asks, "Do I have time for a quick shower before dinner?"
"I'll go upstairs with Davey," I say. "You go ahead, and we’ll meet you back here in half an hour?"
Lily steps closer, rising on her tiptoes. "I’ll be right back," she whispers, closing her eyes as she kisses me. Her lips are soft and sweet, and the sensation they bring makes me realize, with absolute clarity, that my heart belongs to her—no doubt, no question, no turning back. My lips linger on hers, and we both become breathless, wishing the moment could stretch on forever.
***
After dinner, we make popcorn and settle in the living room to watch Toy Story . Less than an hour in, Davey falls asleep nestled between Lily and me. I gently carry him upstairs, tuck him in, and kiss him on the forehead. "Good night, son," I whisper, turning off the lights. "I love you."
"I love you too," he murmurs, turning over in bed and pulling the covers snugly around him. This nightly ritual has been a constant in his life, and I hope it remains so for many years to come.
I smile softly and head back downstairs to where Lily is waiting. Each night, parting ways becomes harder for both of us. I want her to stay, but I know I can’t cross that line—not now, not ever.
I find her in the kitchen, cleaning up and loading the dishwasher. I approach from behind and wrap my arms around her waist. The scent of her perfume envelops me, stirring a deep longing. I plant a kiss on her cheek, and she turns to face me, her arms encircling my neck as she looks into my eyes.
"I like your eyes too," I whisper, "and blue is also my favorite color."
She smiles up at me, her gaze bright and warm, making my heart swell with happiness.
"Can we sit and talk?" I ask, striving to keep my tone calm and lighthearted.
"Is everything okay?" she asks, taking my hand as we walk into the living room.
I sit on the couch and pull her gently down beside me. She settles comfortably against my side, and I marvel at how perfectly she fits in my arms.
"When I spoke to Marian this morning, she told me she's planning a visit."
"Right," Lily responds. "Davey mentioned it."
"She asked Jon to find her a short-term rental in town, so it looks like she plans to stay for a while."
"Okay," she says, interlacing her fingers with mine. "My dad is also planning to visit. He'll be here in about a week."
"Jon and the family will be back by then as well," I add.
"So what you're saying is that things are about to get a whole lot more complicated," she says, with a hint of uncertainty.
"I was honest with Marian, but she made it abundantly clear that she wants us back together as a family."
"What do you want?" she asks, squeezing my hand gently.
"She's my son's mother, but there's absolutely nothing between us. It’s over."
"Who am I, Noah?" Her question takes me by surprise. She shifts on the couch to face me directly, her eyes searching mine. "What am I to you?"
I reach for her, gently resting my hand in the crook of her neck. Her skin feels velvety soft and warm beneath my touch. She tilts her head, leans into my hand, and closes her eyes. She trusts me, and I love her.
When she opens her eyes, she catches me staring at her, and she stares back with an intensity that touches my heart.
"I love you, Lily."