When Sky Breaks: Burn & Break Duet Book 2

14. Sky

“Doyou want to get lunch today? I’m sure we can find something around here we like or head into the next town.” Johnny hands me a to-go cup of coffee as he stands on my front porch all suited up for a day at the hospital.

I guess the place couldn’t pass on a chance to prod the mind of Dr. Johnny Hawk while he’s still in town. Makes me wonder just how long he plans on staying. Him being here should make me happy, not confused.

I lean against the door frame, picking at the warm lid of my cup. “I’m going to hang out with Foster today so Trek can finish some work,” I say, dodging the invitation.

He bobs his head and shoves a hand into the pocket of his charcoal dress pants. He’s really good-looking in his expensive, crisp dress shirt, hair slicked back, reflecting the morning sun in an array of rich browns and subtle reds. It’s almost intimidating.

Before I chicken out, I blurt, “There’s something I need to tell you. Do you have a minute before you go?”

Johnny’s hooded eyes narrow slightly as he reclines against the beam holding up our front porch, sipping his coffee in silence. His gaze is calculating, and sweat slicks my palms. Sometimes, it’s like he already knows he won’t like what I have to say before I even say it. He can be hot and cold, and today’s forecast is chilly.

I take a deep breath, steadying myself, warming my fingers with the outside of my cup. “There were a lot of things that happened to me right before college. I wanted to forget, and the easiest way to do that was to push forward and start a new life. Away from here.”

“Okay,” he says, his eyes on me as he takes another sip.

“Well, now that I’m back, it’s clear I need to deal with it.”

He clears his throat. “Can I ask what it is?”

No.

I swallow the denial. “It’s someone from my childhood who hurt me really bad. They’re in town, and I can’t avoid them anymore.” Something holds me back from admitting who exactly it is.

“Why would you need to confront someone who hurt you?” Perhaps Johnny should’ve been a lawyer, too. He’s just as inquisitive as Phoebe and I admit I’m being cagey about the whole thing.

“It’s complicated. I wanted to be honest about why I may have seemed a little off lately. I’m trying to process the fact I’m here, and so are they.”

Johnny rolls his lips in his mouth before straightening from the beam. He steps forward and takes my cup, setting both on the table near the pair of rocking chairs. Gathering my hands in his, he lets out a whoosh of air and warms my fingers as he speaks. “Babe, sometimes I forget how young you really are.”

Before I can scoff and get irritated, he continues. “But, I understand. We all have ghosts from our pasts. I can tell you don’t want to tell me everything, and while that makes me a little nervous, I trust when you’re ready, you will.” He kisses my forehead and gives me a hug before retrieving my cup and handing it back to me.

“Thank you,” I stammer, feeling a bit like dirt on the bottom of his fancy leather shoes. He’s being so kind about my vagueness. Anyone else would demand I tell him everything.

“I’m going to go to the hospital. You go hang with your dad, and we’ll chat later, okay?”

I give him a tight nod as he strides to his car.

He took that better than I thought, but a big part of me knows I can only hold so much from him before it becomes unfair. We’ve only been seeing each other a few months and while I want this to remain casual, I sense Johnny wants more.

So why don’t I? Why can’t I see him as the one to pursue? Am I really being immature, like he insinuated?

I groan and fling open the front door before shutting the chilly morning air out.

“How’s the doc?” Foster asks from his place on the couch underneath a fluffy blanket. I didn’t think he’d be up yet, as the chemo has exhausted his reserves.

“He’s fine, meeting with some staff at the hospital. Something about new treatments they’re doing at Mercy North he wants them to chew over.”

Not wanting to discuss Johnny anymore I move the conversation on. “Why are you up so early?”

I sit down in the recliner and finally take the first sip of my coffee and almost choke. It’s black. Johnny forgot to add my favorites. Must have been in a rush to get over here or he’s trying to bring me over to the dark side.

After I add some sugar and creamer, I settle down, this time next to Foster, and lean my head on his shoulder.

“I can’t stay in that bed all day, every day. I’ll go nuts, baby girl.”

“As long as you take it easy.”

“Of course. Nurse orders. Now tell me, what’s on your mind? I didn’t spend all those years with you to not notice when something’s bothering you. Is it still about August? Have you talked to him yet?” Foster tucks me into his side, and I melt into the comfort only a dad like him can provide.

I shake my head, my eyes on the front door while my mind is elsewhere. “I’m scared to.”

“Because you still have feelings for him?”

I rear up, my cheeks growing warm.

Foster cocks his head, his baby blues able to convey so much without saying anything at all. Understanding and years of experience line his weary face. “I know you’re seeing this Johnny guy, but I also know how much you felt for August. Was it those tattoos? They’re hard to miss.” He sounds amused, and I’m going to chalk it up to the cancer drugs.

August is hard to miss despite his attempts at keeping a low profile. He could never hide from me in high school, no matter how much he tried to pretend I never existed. We both knew the truth. He was as drawn to me as I was to him.

Since the game today is honesty, I’m going to be as real with Foster as I can. It’s the only way I’ll be able to make sense of my messed-up emotions. “August and I have more than just the two months of senior year as history.”

Foster raises a brow and shifts on the couch. “What do you mean? After we adopted you, August never really came back around to hang with Trek. I figured their friendship ran its course as they sometimes do.”

“I knew August for a year before I came to live with you.”

He frowns. “Oh. Really? That seems kind of big, honey. We, well, I never saw you around the neighborhood, and the boys never mentioned you. Had I known what was going on in that house, I would’ve tried to intervene, but I had no clue.” His face scrunches, and my chest caves at his vulnerable state.

I lay a hand on his. “It wasn’t your job. Please don’t get upset. No one knew. Except August.”

He looks confused so I continue, spilling guts I never spilled before.

“I was outside one day, and he must’ve been on his way here because he stopped on his bike and talked to me. Every few weeks, he’d stop by, or we’d meet at the little shack in the woods he’d found. We had a special friendship. August was everything to me back then. The only real person I trusted. And then when the fire happened, he drifted away.”

Regret swallows me.

I can’t tell him the whole truth. It would open too many tombs, and I’m not here to drag anyone else into this mess.

My cheeks pink. “We reconnected, and yeah, we fell in love.”

Nothing like admitting to your dad you fell in love during your senior year of high school. It sounds so silly when I announce it. But it’s the truth. And the truth is often loud.

Ironically, the truth that erratically hammers in my heart is this: August is mine and has always been mine. Seeing him in the flesh heightened every memory, every touch.

But he can’t be mine anymore. At least not like that.

He stole all my joy when he dropped that bomb on me. How he lied about it the whole time we were together. I fell fast and hard and for whom? A liar.

I fear it’s too big to forgive and forget.

“Then I can see how him leaving and coming back would be confusing.”

What’s confusing is the battle between my heart and my head.

I have Johnny now. August shouldn’t even be taking up space in my mind. Those five years were meant to burn away every bit of love I had for him.

“Did I ever tell you about me and Gwen’s relationship?” Foster asks.

I shrug, swinging my attention from the front window to him. “Maybe, but we got time now if you want to talk about her.” Anything is better than the inner monologue I have on repeat.

Foster grows wistful as he sinks back in time. “Everyone told us we were too young to know what love was. We were sixteen—high school sweethearts. I knew I’d marry her the moment I met her. No one could convince me otherwise. When you’re young, all those feelings are big. Doesn’t mean they aren’t real.”

What I had with August was the realest thing I’d ever experienced. Until he shattered the illusion. Such a naive girl I was.

“I was told settling down before we graduated was a stupid idea. I was supposed to sow wild oats in college. All my friends said the same thing. But why would I want to see our relationship as this last resort, as if all the adventure is gone once you tie yourself to a person? When you love someone that deeply, it’s only the beginning. You want to spend all your waking moments with them, building on that fantastic life you started.”

His words are tattered with longing. “I’ve known too many that get divorced or are unhappy with their partners, so if you’ve found the one who gives you the most peace and has arms that make you feel safe and loved, then don’t give him up, Sky, just don’t.”

I stiffen beside him. “Are we talking about August or Johnny?”

Foster takes my hand in his and squeezes. “That’s for you to find out.”

Agitated, I squeeze his back before taking my hand and sitting on it for stability. He doesn’t know what he’s saying; he doesn’t know the depth of shit we all got in. He can’t possibly think August is who I should be with.

What if I talk to him and can’t forgive him? Then what? How could I stay here knowing he’s living within these same square miles?

Could I make a life with Johnny, knowing August is around every corner, reminding me of his role in the death of my baby brother?

Another question hits me hard in the gut. At the end of all this, is it Johnny’s arms I’d run into?

I’m every bit the little girl in this moment just looking for her daddy to make everything all better. “Can’t you just tell me what to do?”

Foster shakes his head and cups my cheek. “This is your life. Just know that no matter what you do, forgive August or don’t, move on with Johnny or not, you’ll always have me and Trek.”

Throwing my arms over his shoulders, I bury my face into the crook of his neck, inhaling the scent of his warm skin and succumbing to the safety of his arms.

It’s all too much, but I hold the cards. It’s up to me whether I can do all those things. And I’ll never know if I keep avoiding August and what he means to me.

* * *

At dinner, after Foster took a long nap, my time for ignoring the big elephant in this town was up.

“Sky, honey, can you do me a favor tomorrow?”

“Sure, what do you need?” I wipe my hands on the kitchen towel and face him.

Despite Foster not having a huge appetite, the dishes have been piling up, and I can’t stand a dirty sink. I mostly blame that on my overgrown toddler of a brother hoovering a burrito into his mouth. All he does is eat. I thought boys grew out of this stage once they reached adulthood. How the hell does he fit all that in there and not choke? Does he think having a nurse in the family will save him in the event it does? He better watch it. He’s still not off my shit list just yet.

There’s that unmistakable twinkle in Foster’s eyes once I sit down at the table. “I have some photos I’d like printed off. Can you run to Snaps and do that for me?” He knows exactly what he’s doing by asking me this.

“And these pictures are that important?”

“Very.” He winks, and Trek sniggers, earning himself a dirty look.

“I suppose since you asked so nicely.”

“Thank you. Soon, you’ll be busy with this haunted house stuff, and I won’t be able to ask you for extra favors.”

I shake my head. He knows I can’t say no to him and that I need a kick in the pants with this whole August thing.

Fine. I’ll go. I’ll rip the bandage right off and hope I don’t take a bunch of skin with it.

“Yeah, sis, if you need any backup, hit me up.”

Backup my ass. I can only handle so much testosterone, and by the looks of this new August, he’ll have plenty of his own.

Foster raises a conspiratorial brow at Trek. “Yes. Call Trek if you need help with the, uh, photos.”

Their merriment at my expense earns each of them a classic Sky glare. If Foster wasn’t sick, I’d sock him in the shoulder like I do Trek on my way out of the kitchen.