When Sky Breaks: Burn & Break Duet Book 2

28. Sky

What the hell did I just do?

Gently, I press a finger to my puffy lips once I’ve turned out of Catalina’s neighborhood.

I kissed him. That’s what I did.

My body is such a dirty little traitor. Guilt snakes up my spine. I’ve never had that visceral of a reaction to Johnny. Never wanted to be that close. I hold him at a distance because it’s safer that way, less room for heartache. It’s protective. But the way August makes me feel with just one kiss is explosive. It was all-consuming then and now.

Ugh.

Damn him and his lips.

Damn him and his wind-blown, sun-streaked hair and piercing gray eyes that steal every last of my brain cells.

He always touched my body like he was touching my soul. With care and appreciation, a hunger only he could satisfy.

Damn him and what he’s doing. This project at Catalina’s is huge, and I can’t get the image of that plaque for Chase out of my mind.

Chase’s Place.

The mere idea brings more tears to my eyes.

One less person or child hurting at the hands of someone they love. It’s all anyone could ask for. August and Catalina paved the way for this to happen.

My heart cracks open even more, and I pull over to let my blurry vision clear.

After a few moments, I glance up. I happen to be parked near the cemetery. As if it was meant to be, I turn my car off and get out, my feet carrying me through the iron gate and over to Chase’s grave. There are fresh flowers, the burgundy mums swaying in the gentle breeze, and I wonder if August has been here again.

I sink to the cool ground and close my eyes. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to visit you. It hurt thinking about you here all alone, but I should’ve never stayed away. You deserve better than being abandoned.”

As my lips curve upward, I sweep away the curled leaves atop his grave. “But I have some good news. August—yes, the one who’s been leaving you flowers—is working on something amazing. He’s going to help others so they don’t have to live like we did. They don’t have to be so scared in their own homes anymore.”

I’d gladly take the brunt of it again for Chase if I had to. Every bruise and cut and hammer to my soul was mine to take so he’d be spared.

“I miss you,” I say, touching the soft, tight petals of the flowers. “I’m trying to be brave and move on. To be the big sister you can be proud of. But I’m so scared, Chase, because August knows me and my heart better than anyone. Getting close means he has the power to hurt me again.” I draw in a deep breath. “Maybe being scared isn’t always a bad thing? It means I’m still alive, right? Foster would tell me that the best things in life can sometimes scare you. Except swimming with sharks. I refuse to ever do that again. Remind me to tell you that story later.”

The wind swirls my hair around my head as if it’s him responding. I giggle as I wrangle it out of my face.

“Does this mean you give me the okay to work on forgiving August?” I bite at my nails, the cold from the ground seeping into the fabric of my jeans. “He’s really trying, and I can’t deny how alive I get when I’m around him. My skin buzzes, and my heart feels fuller, happier. I know you would’ve loved him,” I whisper.

My face grows numb from the wind, but deep in my soul is a tiny, glowing ember of hope.

My smile remains as I leave the little cemetery and walk back to my car. There’s a lightness in the air, a sign I’m on the right track.

* * *

That smile is steadfast as I pack away leftovers from dinner. I wasn’t supposed to let down my walls so quickly around August, but damn, does he make it so easy. It’s always been effortless with him. Now that I’ve seen the good things he’s doing for so many people, the walls keep crumbling right from under my feet, brick by brick.

Johnny and our impending conversation comes to mind, and wipes the grin clean off my face. Even though Johnny and I are casual, he doesn’t see it that way, and I just kissed another man. What does that make me?

“Hey, what are you doing?” Trek stalks into the kitchen, and I pause putting the foil over a dish. “Is that Mexican food?”

I slide the plate over. “Enchiladas. Plenty left. I thought you were going to be out all night with your teacher lady friend?”

Trek slams the microwave door closed, punches in the time, and presses start as if he wants to shove the thing through the wall.

“Whoa. I take it wasn’t a good night?”

He slumps over in a chair and props his face up in between his palms. “You could say that.”

“Did she break it off with you?” I hazard a guess.

He squeezes the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “Not exactly, no. I don’t really want to talk about it right now, if that’s okay. I just—I just want to eat and go to bed. How was dinner with Dad?”

Trek’s sideswiping of the conversation doesn’t surprise me. He’s infamous for brushing things under the rug until it’s too late. But I won’t push him. Hell, I avoided things for five years. I owe him a little space if he wants it.

“Well, whenever you want to talk, I’m here. And dinner was good. He’s still feeling crummy from the first treatment, but he’s adamant about keeping the routine as much as possible.”

A smile crests Trek’s face before he shoves a huge forkful of food into his mouth, eyes rolling back. “Damn, this is good.”

“Thank you. I can cook every once in a while.”

He’s barely swallowed his bite before adding another to his fork, a bean falling out over the plate to which he spears with the end of the overloaded utensil. “So. How did that thing go with August? The surprise thing.”

My neck and cheeks heat, and I pray Trek is too engrossed in his food to notice. “Fine. He’s working on something at Benny’s mom’s house. An apartment on her second floor for victims of domestic violence who are looking for somewhere safe to go.”

Trek’s eyebrow raises. “Really? That’s impressive.”

I nod. “He named it Chase’s Place.”

Trek’s fork pauses at his mouth. “That’s deep. Wow.” Setting it down on the edge of his plate, he says, “He always wanted to do the right thing by you. This just proves it even more. I hope you can see that now.”

As I finish putting away the rest of the food into the fridge, I refuse to mention the kiss. I’d never live it down. “I guess we’ll see then, won’t we? I’m still waiting for you to talk to him, too.”

Trek groans and leans his head back before glaring at me with those sharp blue eyes. We aren’t true biological siblings, but sometimes I think we really are. “I haven’t forgotten. I have to leave for another stupid week-long work retreat training thing, and when I get back, I’ll reach out to him. Is that acceptable?”

“Very much so, thank you. Dad’s sleeping, so be quiet going down the hall.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Trek teases, losing his fight with whatever’s eating at him, and ditches his plate in the trash. “Glad you’re home, sis. We’ve all really missed you.”

He tweaks my ponytail as he skates by to go to his room, and I turn off the kitchen light to head to mine.

A bubble of unfiltered joy rises in my chest. For once, I’m happy to be home, too.