Chapter 15 B.Y.O.H. （Bring Your Own Honesty）
CHAPTER 15: B.Y.O.H. (brING YOUR OWN HONESTY)
JACE
Jace: Hey!
Jace: Can we talk?
Poppy: Sorry, I don’t know who this is. I think you may have the wrong number.
Jace: Oh sorry, it’s Jacks.
Poppy: Sorry, I don’t know anyone named Jacks.
Jace: It’s Jace. Please talk to me.
I told Poppy it was me two hours ago and I haven’t gotten a response. I arrived at the park thirty minutes ago to go for a run to try to clear my head, but it’s no use. I need her on my side, if I’m ever going to convince Lacey I didn’t cheat on her. I turn the music up louder on my phone, trying to drown out my thoughts. I round the corner of the path and feel my phone vibrate. I pull it out and swipe up on the screen.
Poppy: Logan and I will be at his place tonight. Want to join us for dinner at 7?
Jace: Yes! Absolutely. Can I bring anything?
Poppy: Just your honesty.
Jace: Done.
Poppy: Do NOT make me regret this.
I slip my phone back into my pocket and finish my run. Tonight isn’t going to be easy, but at least they agreed to talk to me.
Logan greets me at his door with a scowl. He moves to the side and silently gestures for me to come in.
“Hey, man. Thanks for having me over.”
He grunts and walks toward Poppy in the kitchen.
“Hey, Jace,” she yells over the roar of the blender. “We made tacos, so I convinced Logan we needed margaritas too.”
“Sounds good to me. Can I help you with anything?” She shakes her head and goes back to moving around the kitchen. I see her give Logan a look and he clears his throat.
“So, Jacks, how are things?”
I can’t help but scoff a little. “Well, they’ve been better.”
He lets out a small chuckle, and I’m thankful for the break in the tension between us.
“Margarita anyone?” Poppy walks out of the kitchen holding two glasses of lime green liquid. “I thought we could eat and then we could talk?”
“Fine by me.”
“Same,” Logan agrees, taking one of the glasses and swallowing down a large sip.
The dinner is painfully quiet as we all eat in silence. The loudest thing in the room is the elephant in the corner weighing all of us down. I finish the last bite of food and push the plate back a bit, so I can rest my arms on the table.
“I know what you both think happened, but I need y’all to know I didn’t cheat on her.”
“Jace—”
“No, Poppy, let me get this out. Please.” She inhales deeply and then blows out a long breath.
“Go ahead,” she says.
“I was completely blindsided when Lacey dumped me and if I’m honest, I don’t know if I fully got over the pain it caused. She was and still is the only girl I’ve ever loved and you were like my sister. When I lost both of you it crushed me.”
She sets down her fork and her eyes find mine. “How do you think I felt? She’s been my best friend since I was seven and she trusted you. We both trusted you. You should have seen her.” Her head falls into her hands and she rubs her eyes. “Jace, it was awful. She stopped eating. I had to drag her out of bed every morning so she didn’t flunk out of high school. I guess I knew there was a chance you wouldn’t come back, but I never thought you would cheat on her.”
“But, I didn’t cheat.”
“Stop lying,” she yells. Logan reaches over and grabs her hand. “What am I supposed to believe? She lied to me all those years ago? That’s a hell of a lie to keep up for ten years. I told you that night on the roof, I’d choose her, and I meant it.” Logan opens his mouth to speak, but Poppy cuts him off. “I mean God, when she got back from D.C., it was heart?—”
“What do you mean when she got back from D.C.?” My mind fumbles over her words. Lacey was in D.C.? When? How? Why?
“Don’t do this. Don’t lie. You said you’d be honest tonight, so just be honest.”
“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” I run my hands through my hair and exhale. “This is beginning to feel like we’ve been living in two very different realities. The way I remember it, I got a call out of the blue in September and she told me she and I wanted different things. She wouldn’t talk to me, wouldn’t hear me out. Told me we were over and that was it. The next thing I knew you had texted me something similar and then y’all posted that picture with Beau and Alex. Poppy, I was devastated.”
She looks up at me, eyes wide.
“No, that’s not what happened.” She shakes her head. “Lacey went up to visit her cousin, Mariah, in Virgina over fall break. She was going to surprise you. She said she saw you in a coffee shop near your apartment. Said you were with another girl. They called me after. Mariah was so convincing. She said it was clear y’all were more than friends and Lacey agreed. She was so upset.”
Lacey was in D.C.
I search the corners of my brain for a memory, but I was so busy with the program then that I can’t remember who she could have possibly seen me with. I didn’t have many friends in D.C.; I was there to work toward my goals. I had friends back home. I had Lacey. Why would I have wanted anyone else?
“Is it possible she was mistaken?” Logan asks hesitantly, squeezing his girlfriend’s hand.
“No, Mariah agreed with her. They were both so sure.” Her eyes flick back to me. “Jace, y’all hadn’t been talking very much. You were busy. She was lonely. When she saw you with someone else, it broke her.”
I try to wrap my head around her words, but I can’t.
“What is it going to take for you to both believe me? I can’t go back in time, but I need you to know I didn’t cheat on her. You’ve known me since you were in the second grade. Logan, you are one of my best friends. Have I ever once lied to either of you before? Why would I be lying now?”
“No,” Logan says.
“Exactly,” I say. “I didn’t cheat on her.”
“I want to believe you, but I don’t know you anymore. It just doesn’t make sense,” Poppy says, standing from the table. She walks over to the dishwasher where she loads her plate.
“But, you knew me then. Come on. Growing up, did I ever lie to you?”
“Well, no.” She lets out an exasperated sigh. She grasps the edge of the sink with her hands and rocks back, shaking her head.
“I would never lie. To her or to either of you. Fuck, Poppy, you were like my sister. Logan, you and Tanner are like my brothers. Tell me what I can do to make this better. Please. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Poppy turns to face me. Her eyes dart back and forth between Logan and me. He stands and walks to meet her in the kitchen. He places his plate in the dishwasher and then whispers something in her ear.
Think Jace. Fucking think of something.
“What if I talk to her? Convince her to hear me out. Maybe she remembers something that will help me remember who she saw me with.”
“She’s not going to talk to you on her own,” Poppy says. “After the other night she’s afraid you’re going to continue to lie to her.”
“Please.” My voice sounds desperate. “At least let me try. If she doesn’t believe me, then I’ll back out of all of your lives. It’ll be like I never came back.”
“That’s not what we want, Jacks,” Logan says.
Poppy bites her lip and twirls a piece of her hair around her finger.
“Fine, I’ll help you talk to her, but that’s it.”