When You Were Mine (Mistletoe and Silver Foxes #2)

Prologue

THIRTY YEARS AGO

Is this real?

Am I actually marrying the love of my life?

Jessica Elsworth wanted to remember every single detail of this moment. The cozy white chapel and the plaster cherubs lifting bouquets of roses on either side of the altar. The officiant in a white rayon suit and a turquoise bolo tie, and his wife’s bright yellow sundress and white terry cloth flip-flops, her long fingernails painted a brilliant red.

Jess would imprint this setting, these colors, and the fragrant scent of roses on her mind forever. Not only because she was eloping, but because it was so them. They were wild, reckless, free.

They were outlaws.

They were twenty years old, on their way home after a spectacular failure, but they were fiercely, fully together.

Forever.

As she faced her soon-to-be-husband in the Las Vegas chapel, she grinned at the crazy situation. She might not have grown up dreaming about weddings, but she’d always known she’d love Trevor Montgomery with all her heart for the rest of her life.

Her gorgeous, funny, smart, big-hearted groom began his vows. “I never told you this, but my first memory of us goes back even before kindergarten. My dad backed his truck up to the loading dock at the feedstore. I was kicking my mom’s seat just to piss her off, and I looked out the window and saw this little girl doing a monster dance.”

Overflowing with happiness and so full of love for this man, Jess cracked up. “Monster dance?” She had no recollection.

“Yep.” He took a step back to show her. Lowering his head, he stomped his feet and lifted his arms like he was working a pulley. When he bent over and shook his ass, even the officiant broke out laughing.

“Eh.” She waved a hand to dismiss the memory. “No proof it was me. Could’ve been anybody.” Of course, she was teasing, and the glint in Trevor’s eyes told her he knew it. Her dad owned the store, and that was exactly the kind of weird thing she’d have done while hanging around.

“You know that expression dance like no one’s watching ?” Fire glinted in her groom’s eyes.

She nodded. He was such a passionate man. She loved that about him.

“Well, that’s you. You dance like no one’s watching, sing like no one’s listening, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Elzy, I admire the hell out of you. You’re strong and smart, you love hard, and you’re the best person I know.” Color flooded his cheeks, and his voice broke. “You caught my attention when I was four, and you continue to dazzle me to this day.”

Jess blinked back tears. Two days ago, their world had come crashing down. The bad news had them quitting their server jobs, giving their landlord notice, and packing up the truck to head back home.

But he’d turned it all around by driving them straight to this Vegas chapel.

They might’ve given up one dream, but he’d fulfilled another, more important one: sealing their future as a couple.

“I love you.” His voice was thick with emotion. “That first day of kindergarten when I saw you, I swear to God, the world cracked open. It was the first time I’d ever been away from home, and I didn’t know what to make of it, but the moment I laid eyes on you, all the confusion in my mind went quiet. I knew back then, and I know now, you’re my best friend, my lover, my peace, my motivation, my inspiration, my North Star, and the love of my life.”

“Trevor.” His name came out on a gust of breath. She needed to be alone with him, skin to skin. She needed her hands in his hair, her mouth on his. The endless quest to get closer, to merge, to breach the physical separation never, ever went away. If they got lost on a deserted island, she wouldn’t care. He was all she needed. Now and forever.

He reached for her hands. “Elzy, you were my reason when I was four, and you’re my reason for the rest of my life.” He slipped the plastic band on her finger. “With this ring, I pledge my life to yours. I know wherever life takes me, with you is where I’m meant to be.”

Now, it was her turn, but she was so full of love and affection, she couldn’t think straight. He wasn’t just movie-star handsome and built to haul bales of hay. He was the kindest, most generous man she’d ever known. “You’ve had more time to think about it?—”

“Elz, I’ve been thinking about marrying you my whole life.”

Well, when he put it that way, so had she. “I love you.” She said it plainly, simply. “You’re my best friend, my playmate, my confidante, and my greatest challenge.” She blew out a shaky breath. “Not a day goes by when I don’t think how grateful I am to have you in my life. I mean, we were eight when my mom died. I don’t know how you knew what I needed, but you did. You sat with me, and we didn’t say a word. You let me be quiet. You’ve always known exactly what I need. You see me. You always have.”

She slipped the ring on his finger. “Trevor, I vow to love you, take care of you, and walk this life by your side through every storm and battle. And you know what? Forget pledging anything because it’s my absolute privilege to spend my life with you. Thank you for loving me. I don’t vow to love and cherish you—I get to.”

He hauled her to his chest and kissed her, and with the volatile cocktail of excitement and passion, she knew their connection could light up a night sky.

“Uh, well.” The officiant laughed. “Guess I don’t need to say it, but you may kiss the bride.”

Trevor clutched her bottom and drew her tightly to him. His warmth seeped into her. As they clung to each other, she got lost in the soft, wet, heat of his mouth, the clean, masculine scent of him and the urgent dig of his fingers.

“Okay, then.” The officiant cleared his throat. “I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Clasping hands, they practically ran out of the chapel. Jess floated on a wave of bliss. They burst out the doors into bright sunlight.

“I can’t believe it.” She tipped her head back and shouted, “We’re married .”

“We’ve been married since we were twelve and I built us that treehouse.” He wrapped an arm around her waist. “Today, we made it legal.” He kissed her. “I love you.”

“I love you so much.”

“So, what do you think?” Grabbing her hand, he headed to the truck. “Spend the night in the motel or hit the road? Your call.”

And this was why she adored him. Two days earlier, they’d found out her teenage sister was pregnant. Instead of staying in Los Angeles to pursue his goals, he’d quit his job and packed his suitcase right alongside her. They’d only been there two years—not nearly long enough to get traction in Hollywood.

They were truly in this together. “We’re not going anywhere until we consummate this marriage, mister.”

He broke into that sexy grin that made her blood go hot. “I like the way you think.”

She grinned, giddy with love for him. “Let’s plan on leaving in the morning.” She bit her bottom lip. “Consummating is going to take all night.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about consummating, but there’s going to be a lot of fucking.”

When they reached his ancient Ford 150, he bent his knees and lifted her into his arms.

She laughed. “What’re you doing?”

“This truck’s the closest thing we have to a marital home, so I’m carrying you over the threshold.” Hitching her higher, he unlocked the door. “Open it.” Once she did, he plopped her onto the seat. Then, instead of hurrying to the driver’s side, he cupped her cheeks and gazed into her eyes. “You’re mine now, Mrs. Trevor Montgomery.”

“I always was, Mr. Jessica Elsworth.”

When he laughed, his eyes sparkled, and she couldn’t believe Hollywood hadn’t snapped this man up. He would’ve been box office gold.

“Take me home, Wild Bill.”

“Anything for you.” His big strong hands cupped her cheeks, and his tongue licked into her mouth. Every time he kissed her, it felt like he’d just come home from a deployment. His hands caressed and his tongue explored with such hunger .

A car drove past, and a woman shouted, “Get a room.”

“On it,” he shouted back. Smiling against Jess’s mouth, he said, “I can never get enough of my Calamity Jane.” He shut the door and made his way around to the driver’s side.

They’d never fit in their small town. He had no interest in farming, and she wanted so much more than the jobs available in Riverton, Wyoming. Even though they loved their families, they’d just never really connected with kids their age. They only liked hanging out with each other.

Growing up, they’d loved to pretend they were outlaws. They’d ride horses or ATVs, tearing across the land. Using sticks as guns, they’d break into sheds and holler for the “tellers” to hand over the money.

All their lives, they’d dreamed of owning a ranch in Calamity Falls—a town about three hours west. They’d call it Robbers Roost after Butch Cassidy and the Wild Bunch gang’s hideout.

The engine rumbled to life, and she brought the bouquet to her nose, breathing in the sweet, delicious scent. “We should grow roses.”

“I’ll plant you a whole garden.” He pulled away from the curb. “A forever reminder of this day.”

He was so romantic. She smoothed her hand on the ripped fabric of the bench seat. He’d found this truck abandoned by a farmhand who’d run off in the middle of the night. Trevor worked on it for months to get it going. Why? Because she’d wanted to take an advanced dance class only offered in Caspar. Her dad didn’t have the time to drive her, so Trevor did it.

Junior year, someone at school had drawn a heart with Trevor and Jess’s initials in the dust on the hood. A few nights later, when he’d picked her up for prom, she’d noticed Trevor had painted it red.

I love this man.

The moment they entered their motel room, Trevor pulled up his T-shirt, exposing his washboard abs, tan skin, and the arrow leading to the thick outline of his cock.

Once he’d tossed the shirt aside, he gave her a lazy-eyed smirk and undid the first button on his jeans. “What’s it gonna take to get you naked, Mrs. Montgomery?”

“Honestly? Not much.”

Laughing, he gave her an impatient flick of his hand. Strip .

But just as she started to unzip the back of her skirt, the phone rang. He sauntered over, leaving the flap of his jeans open. Her mouth watered, and her hands itched to touch his warm skin. She couldn’t get undressed fast enough.

“Hello?” Trevor sat on the bed, watching her peel off her clothes. “Oh, hey. Okay. Yeah, I'll give her a call. Thank you.” As soon as he hung up, he stalked over to her. She stood naked before him, and he slid his fingers through her hair, lifting it off her shoulders. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

“I hope you still think so after I pop out our ninth baby.”

“Sweetheart, I could find chicken bones in the folds of your belly, and I’d still be hot for you.”

She laughed. “That was vivid. Who was on the phone?”

“It was the front desk. My agent called.”

Her chest tightened. “Oh. Wow.” How crazy would it be if he finally got a part now that they’d left LA? She felt a little sick to her stomach. It’d be such bad timing. “How did she even know we’re here?”

“She called home.”

Her dad had insisted on booking a motel to break up the fourteen-hour drive. Which meant both families knew the itinerary.

“But she can wait.” He pushed her breasts together. His hot, wet mouth closed over a nipple, and his tongue flicked back and forth. “Because right now, I’m making love to my wife.”

Lust spread in a rush, making her tingle. “Say it again.”

As he gazed into her eyes, his thumbs caressed her sensitive peaks. “First, you were that fascinating girl doing a monster dance. Then, you were my best friend and outlaw.” He kissed her again. “And now, you’re my wife .”

“My husband.” She let out a dreamy sigh. “But let’s find out what she wants, or I won’t be able to think about anything else.”

“Okay.” He kissed her on the mouth and then returned to the bed to make the call.

But she already knew. Why else would his agent track him down, other than to tell him he’d gotten a part?

This is good, right?

Yes.

Maybe.

I don’t know.

While he punched in the calling card’s code, she grabbed her clothes and headed into the bathroom.

Because she was freaking out and didn’t want to impact his decision.

This job could change the direction of their lives. What if it was a TV pilot? He’d need to live in Los Angeles. But she couldn’t go with him. She had to be with her sister.

What will happen to us?

They’d grown up in the same town. They’d moved to LA together. They’d never been apart.

Okay, calm down. We don’t know anything right now .

No, we do know something.

Trevor and I are solid. We love each other. We might have to spend some time apart, but in the end, we’ll have the money to help our families and buy Robbers Roost.

So, it’s good.

We’ll be fine.

As she dressed, she noticed the quiet. She peeked out of the bathroom and saw him in the same position, the cord tethering him to the bed, one arm belted across his chest, his chin tilted down.

With the phone pressed to his ear, he looked concerned. Finally, he spoke. “What if we told them I’d walk?” He twisted his neck from one side to the other as if working out the kinks.

Something was wrong. Quickly, she zipped up her skirt and came out of the bathroom.

“I understand. Okay.” His shoulders squared. He drew in a breath. “Yes, I’m sure.”

He didn’t sound like a man who’d won a role in a major motion picture. He sounded like he was being sent to prison. He hung up.

“What’s going on?” She knew this man. She’d seen despair, anger, joy, satisfaction…everything. But this? This was new. She made her way over to him.

He didn’t look at her.

He didn’t say anything.

She sat down, letting him process whatever news he’d gotten. Honestly, she didn’t have a clue what it could be.

Finally, he let out a breath. “I got the part.”

A chill skittered across her skin, and her heart kicked into overdrive. It was confusing because, of course, she wanted to celebrate with him.

This is what we wanted, what we worked for.

He might not like acting, but it was the only profession that would deliver big money. Unfortunately, it hadn’t happened, and all they had to show for their two years in Los Angeles was a whopping eighteen hundred dollars.

Which would go to her sister and the baby.

So, her rational self was cheering for the opportunity he’d worked hard for, but her heart was thundering. “Which one?” If he was worried that she expected him to settle down with her in Riverton now that they were married, he should know her better. They shared a vision for their future. “You can go back to LA, you know. If it pays enough, just shoot the commercial, or whatever it is, and then come home. If you start to get more calls…” She shrugged. “We’ll figure it out.” She sounded stronger than she felt, but truly, she wanted him happy. She wanted him to be proud of his accomplishments.

He shifted a knee onto the mattress to face her. “It’s the clan war movie. The one in?—”

“ Scotland? ” Her stomach dropped. “Wait, so it’s a callback?” He’d auditioned once. Thousands had shown up for the cattle call.

“No. I got the part. It’s mine.”

“But it was only one reading.” Scotland?

“I know, but they chose me.”

No wonder he was so quiet. This job wouldn’t pay much, and it would take him to another country. She couldn’t go. Not after finding out her sixteen-year-old sister was pregnant. Their dad was great, but he ran the store. It took all his time.

No, she had no choice but to go home. “What does it pay?”

“That’s the thing.” He swallowed. “Nothing.”

She felt bad for him. She really did. Hollywood’s rejection had to hurt. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” She kissed his cheek. “If we’d had more time, you would’ve landed some good roles.”

The money would've been nice, but the distance… Well, let's be honest. It wasn’t that the job was in Scotland. They could handle being apart. It was the idea he'd be in a whole new world, surrounded by new people— sophisticated people—doing sex scenes with gorgeous women…

Maybe she wasn't too bummed it hadn’t worked out after all. Now, if acting was his passion, she’d have an entirely different reaction.

But she noticed he hadn’t moved a muscle. “Are you okay?”

“The actors get a piece of the box office. And as the lead, I'll get two percent of gross.”

Oh. He’s taking this seriously . “They want you to work for free in the hopes the film makes money?” That didn’t make sense.

“I know how it sounds, but my agent thinks there's real potential here. She said it’s got all the elements to make it a hit. Multi-generational, soap opera-style relationships…violence.”

“You were going to blow off the audition, remember? You said it was a low-budget film with a no-name producer. When I asked if you’d go back for another audition, you said, ‘No way in hell.’”

“I was wrong about the producers. My agent says they’ve been around a long time. They know what they’re doing.”

He couldn’t possibly be considering this job. “I have to get home to my sisters. I mean, if it paid well, if it had real potential, then, yeah, sure…” But it didn’t.

“I know it’s a long shot, but Elz, it’s our only shot. We have eighteen hundred dollars to our name.”

“I’m confused. Two weeks ago, you said, ‘Who wants to watch a three-hundred-year clan war in sixteen-hundreds Scotland?’ and now, suddenly, it’s the opportunity of a lifetime?”

But his jaw remained taut. “I took it.”

“Took what?” She remembered his tone a moment ago when he’d said, “I’m sure . ” “You took the job without talking to me?”

“Yes.” Finally, he broke into a smile. “Hey, we’re outlaws, remember? We take risks.”

“Trevor, this is not funny. You’re going to Scotland when my family’s in crisis?”

“That’s why I took the job. Your sister’s situation is just one in a long string of problems we’re going to face. You know what life is like. A disease hits my dad’s crop, and we’re eating nothing but bread and tomatoes for a month. Weather fucks up your dad’s deliveries, and he can’t pay his bills.”

“Okay, okay, hang on. Did I miss something here? In all your auditions and acting classes, did you somehow catch the bug? Do you actually want to be an actor? Tell me right now, because that will change everything. I love you, Trevor. And if this is your heart, your passion, then you should take it.”

“ You’re my heart. You’re my passion. I don’t give a fuck about acting. But how can I make a life for us in Riverton? We’ll be right back where we started two years ago with no money and no hope. This is the only opportunity I’ve gotten, and I have to take it.”

“There’s no pay, Trevor.” Her voice rose, edging toward anger. “There never will be. It’s a Scottish clan war. It’s not going to be some runaway hit. You know that, right?”

“Elz, this is how it happens. Every movie star starts out taking shit jobs for no pay.”

She’d met his agent before. Those were her words. “Look, I get it. We’re going home empty-handed. It sucks. But we’ll figure something else out. You know we will.”

“No, you don’t get it.” He whipped a folded sheet of paper out of his jeans pocket and shook it at her. “I can’t make this much money in ten lifetimes living in Riverton.”

They’d made that list years ago in the Four Rivers diner when they were figuring out a plan to buy a ranch in Calamity. First, they had to pay off the farm’s mortgage. Second was getting her dad out of debt. Third was setting up her sisters with college funds. And then, finally, they’d get to buy their property.

But even after checking all four off their list, they still needed enough savings to operate the ranch. The number circled in red at the bottom of the page was daunting, and Hollywood seemed the only solution for two scrappy kids from a farm community in Wyoming.

Her heart ached for the burden he’d placed on himself. “You’ve been carrying that around all this time?”

“Of course. It’s my motivation. We’ve invested two years into this effort, and it’s finally paying off. I just need to give it one more year, and I either get discovered, or it’s back to Riverton, and we live hand-to-mouth like everyone else. But, Elzy, if I don’t take this shot, we’ll have debt up to our eyeballs and no future beyond doing the same boring jobs until we die.” He shook the paper. “You bet your ass this is all I can think about.”

He was an only child whose parents worked from dawn to dusk. She got it. That scarcity mentality was deeply embedded. “Hey, Wild Bill.” She reached for his hand and kissed his knuckles. “You’re not alone in this. I’m here, and I’m doing it with you.” She gave him a gentle smile. “Don’t forget the other list we made that day. It was full of business ideas. Working on the farm is not our only path. We’re smart. We think outside the box. We’re going to make something of ourselves—and it doesn’t have to subject you to eight months of free labor in Scotland.”

But he didn’t soften his stance. He didn’t crack a smile. “There’s no better path to make that kind of money. If this movie takes off, there’ll be a second one and a third. And even if it doesn’t, it could lead me to another project. Don’t you see? This is our only hope to make big money.”

“Okay.” She didn’t believe that, but she wouldn’t argue when he was so adamant about it. With the burden he carried on his shoulders, he needed her support, not her negativity. “I don’t see it that way, but…” She’d just have to accept his decision. “Well, at least it won’t cost us anything.” She gave a bitter laugh. “They’re not making you pay for your own costumes, are they?”

“No.” His chin tipped up. “But they’re making me pay for my travel expenses.”

“Excuse me?” She shook her head. “Oh, come on. This is a scam. It has to be . ”

“It’s not. My agent says it’s legit. They’ll feed and house the cast, but we have to get ourselves to Scotland.”

“Trevor, we don’t have any money.” Now, she was pissed. He was taking this too far.

He gave her a steely look. “We have some.”

His meaning kicked her right in the belly. “How much is airfare?”

“Eighteen hundred dollars round trip.”

“Trevor, no. That’s for my sister.” She reeled away from him. “If you take it, how am I supposed to pay for everything she’s going to need? A crib, diapers, formula…You can’t do this. It isn’t fair.”

“Elz, I love you more than anything in this world, but you’re thinking about right now. And I get it. You’ve been a mother to your sisters since you were eight years old. Yeah, that money can buy you diapers and formula, but how long will it last? Once we run out of it, then what? Then, you’re back to working at the feedstore, and I’m working on my dad’s farm.”

It might make sense if this movie were going to be a blockbuster. But a clan war movie? With a budget so low the actors didn’t get paid? Come on . “That baby will be here in five months.”

“Yeah, I know. And we can get your sister a crib and a baby monitor, but this movie might lead to buying her a house and putting her kid through college. I’m willing to take a bet that has the potential to solve all our financial problems.”

“Do you hear yourself? You’re talking about gambling away the money I need for a baby.” She could not believe this.

“The only thing that baby needs besides love is medical care which she’ll get from the county clinic just like we did. All the stuff you want to buy is in your head. The baby doesn’t need a fancy crib or highchair. And you know what? I’m not willing to sell out our goals because of your sister’s mistake.”

She reared back. Her stomach twisted into a knot. For the first time, they stood on opposite sides of a divide. “That mistake is my niece or nephew.” Calm down . They’d always worked through their problems. They’d do it this time too. She had to remember he didn’t have siblings. “I’m trying to understand your point of view… but this is my sister . And I get that you want to set up our future, but I don’t know what that’s going to look like if we don’t take care of our families right now when they need us the most.”

“If I walk away from this film and move back to Riverton, there won’t be any more opportunities. Ever.”

She hated to hurt him, but it needed to be said. “This is not an opportunity, Trevor. And guess what? There’s no higher value than taking care of my sister, and if you insist on pursuing this dream , then you better understand that it’s no longer our dream. It’s yours. This is where our path splits.”

Shock ripped across his handsome features. “What’re you talking about? There’s nothing more important than us.” In one step, he was right in front of her. He grabbed her arms. “You and me, we’re home .”

“You’re hanging on to some idea we came up with when we were kids, and I’m sorry, but reality’s hit, and we need to be there for our family—” Awareness struck, and she wrenched out of his grip. “Sorry, my family. I thought we were in this together, but I can see we’re not.”

“Yes, we fucking are, and don’t try to make me out to be selfish. The only thing I care about—the only thing that drives me—is getting us the life we want. And we can’t do that until both our families are safe and secure. And that includes your sister. My sister. We’re married, remember?”

She knew him. Their bond was solid. Their love had no beginning and no end. Yes, she was shaking like a leaf in the wind, but she looked him right in the eyes, knowing with absolute certainty he’d make the right decision. “If you go through with this, then there is no us.”

He snagged his T-shirt off the bed and threw it on. “You’re the only woman in the world for me, and I wouldn’t put our relationship in jeopardy for any reason other than to get us where we need to be. You have to trust that I’m going to make all our lives better.” He started toward her—like he might hug or kiss her goodbye—but she glared at him.

Ignoring her defiance, he kissed her cheek. And then, he headed for the door.

He was leaving.

He was going to walk out on her.

This is impossible.

It didn’t make sense.

“Trevor…” But her mind went blank. She knew that look of resolve. “You can’t leave me.”

“No, I can’t. So, you know I’ll be back.”

“What if I don’t wait for you?”

His eyes widened, and his voice went tight with emotion. “You have to. It’s us. You and me.” He held up his ring finger. “Forever.”

“Not if you walk out that door.”

“I have one shot, Elzy. One. And I’m going to take it.” He threw open the door and stepped onto the concrete walkway. “I’ll get a side job in a bar in town, and since my room and board is free, I’ll send you every paycheck.”

And then, he was gone.

She stood in the middle of the motel room, her skin bristling with static electricity.

Is this real? He’ll come back, right? He has to.

She stood there while the fear spread like poison, until it hollowed her out. And when her legs could no longer support her, she sat on the edge of the mattress.

The smell of roses made her sick to her stomach, so she tossed the bouquet into the trash bin.

And still, she waited.

Because Trevor wouldn’t do this to her.

He just wouldn’t.

He’d come back.

He had to.